2lovejoy
My story begins as a overweight child who is a brown skin baby which made it even worse in middle school. Kids can be so cruel. You let my former classmates in middle school tell it I was fat, black and ugly. My mom dressed me in payless shoes, and walmart clothes. I did not afford name brand things until I got a job and paid for it myself, glad my mom made me be that responsibility because I appreciate it a lot more. I remember weighing a 180lbs in the 6th grade feeling ashamed, with low self-esteem and ugly. I started losing weight over the summer prompting me for the 8th grade and things changed for me a little bit I still had some haters cause my clothing was still not up to trend with everyone elses. In the 9th grade I became a temporary bombshell cause I got a boyfriend who thought I was gorgeous the way I was and it cost me to .....my first love, the one who took my virginity ( I made him wait two years), the one I laughed with the one that made me think "he chose me" because he was fine. He was also the one who broke my heart into a million pieces although he did not mental, physical abuse me. The emotional damage he caused still leaves sores on my heart and I'm undoing the damage of a 5 year relationship that I was in from 15-20 years of age. Now I am 23 I have a good man who treats me very good, he takes care me mentally, emotionally, physically. There is nothing like a man who can make love to your mind.......but now it is time for me to fall in love with MYSELF I love me but I don't like me that much I have been thinking of weight loss surgery for the past year in 2008. I finally decided to go for it easier said then done but I am a work in progress. Lord help me I am in progress. I love being a cocoa girl and I am a adapting my own way that works for me to build my self confidence even before the surgery ........I might be a fat chick but I am a bad chick also.
