2ndChance2k13

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At the 7 month mark, I am down 100 lbs.  I thought that I would have past this point by now but, it's not completely surprising.  I have learned that when I plan well, I lose well.  When I focus on everything but, what I need to, I have struggles.    One day at a time.

Hmmm... Today is 1/3/14.  In 5 days, I will hit the 6 month mark.  As of last nite, I have lost 85.6 lbs. 

I have got to get back to coming to this site because when you do, you pay attention and stay on track.  Life has been so hectic but, if I don't treat this like a priority, I will be doomed to ultimate failure.  

I weighed a week ago at the doctor's office.  My weight was 412.6.... from 483 at the beginning... almost 72 lbs. down.  I am grateful for the progress.  Now, I just want to step on a scale and see the # 3.

I am trying to gear up to get through the holidays without adding, so that I can see the 300s.  I believe that I can do this if I don't center my life around food as it usually is at the holidays.... gotta stay busy.

Yesterday was the 21st day after surgery.  I went to to the doctor on Day 18 and found that I'd lost 31.2 lbs. so far.  Of course, I wanted it to say 100 but, I believe that's a good start.  

Today, I returned to work.  I am clearly seeing that success is completely contingent on how well I plan for my meals.  I packed well today so, there was no food related stress.

I am so happy that today  I overcame a big test.  My boss wanted to take a group of us to lunch.  They had peanuts and hot rolls with with butter.  I did not have ANY.  If you're not a carb addict like myself, you may not get why it really matters but, for me, it does.

I pray that I continue to have the fortitude that I had today.

I go back into the doctor's office for Support Group on Thursday.  I am looking forward to weighing again.  Stay tuned...

Today is Tuesday, July 16 and my revision from an RNY to a DS was on July 8.  It has been quite a week to say the least.  The surgery was 6.5 hours long.  The doctor was surprised to find tons of scar tissue on my intestines.. probably due to a previous RNY and caesarean.  I had implored him before going in to surgery to please do this for me and not convert me to a simple band.  I think that plea forced him to push himself that much harder.

I ended up staying in the hospital until 4 days post surgery.  The first couple of days, I couldn't manage to tinkle, so the doctor had the catheter replaced after it had been removed.  Then, came problem #2.   I have struggled with anemia throughout my life and, it reared its head post surgery.  So, then I I had to undergo two days of rounds of iron.  Even though it hadn't improved, my doctor decided to let me go home on Friday.

Even a week later, the pain is pretty bad but, not as bad as the first few days.  You get stiff easy and getting up and down is a beast.

I've been home for 5 days now.  The days consist of trying to make yourself continuously sip, walking around and naps.  I go to the doctor on Friday and, I will be excited to see how I'm progressing.  Stay tuned....

I just arrived home last night from a work trip to Washington, DC.  The city is absolutely amazing in its beauty.  The architecture and design fascinate me and I could look at it for hours.

My trip was marred by my weight though.  Being the size I am, makes travelling extremely difficult.  The walking in the airports, getting into the tight seats on the plane, having to ask the attendant for a belt extension and, then praying that the person in front of you doesn't decide to lean back, walking the city...

I was very depressed at moments because the group I was with kept leaving me.  Many times, I couldn't even see them up ahead so, in the midst of struggling to walk and breathe, I had a big ole pity part for myself.... blaming them in my mind for not accommodating me and isolating me.  I just felt left out.

My surgery is 3 days away.... and, right here on this Independence Day, I declare that I'm about to be set free from the following when I lose the weight:

1.  Letting my weight keep me from enjoying life.

2.  Not being able to keep up.

3.  Feeling like I am a spectacle.

It is time for a new day.... a new me.   I am ready for it.

Okay... this has been an interesting few days.

On Friday, 6/21/13, I went in for my pre-op visits.  My day at the doctor's began at 8:30 a.m. with a nutrition class.  Since I'm kinda unique in being a revision from an RNY to a DS, I was in the class solo with the NUT.  So, in a nutshell, it was a 1 on 1 session.  She went through the expectations for the program that I must follow. What stuck with me and, what I need to remember, particularly when I don't feel like it is the following:

• I will need to take vitamins for the rest of my life and, I have to be mature and responsible to get it done or be sick
• I am going to write down all the reasons why I want to lose weight and refer to it when I'm in a tempting situation or need motivation.
• I have to make time for me and eating properly.  I can not afford to push my needs to the side for others.  
• My meals need to take at least 20 minutes, preferably 30.
• High fat causes diarrhea, high sugar will cause me gas.
• If I don't attack everyday with a plan, I will fail.
• I need 80 g of protein/day.

Next, I met with the Patient Coordinator.  She had an RNY herself and lost 165 lbs.  She was very supportive and, she wanted to make sure I understood what was next.

Then, I met with my surgeon, Dr. Scarborough.  He patiently answered all my questions.  He told me I can anticipate 3 days in the hospital but, that if he needs me to stay longer, he will.  He said that he thinks I can get to the low 200s.  Really????  That was good news and is 250 lbs. from where I am now.  Sounds great to me.

Next, came the $.  My insurance is not covering this so, that almost made my heart stop beating.  I pray I am making the right decision.

After that, I had to walk over to the hospital and get pre-admitted, have an EKG, give blood and urine and get a pre-surgery packet explaining how the day of surgery will go.

I have done some reflecting on where I went wrong the first time around.  In looking back at my writings from then, I can see it was:

• Not learning to slow down and eat slow
• Thinking the weight loss would happen on its own
• Not taking my protein and vitamin supplements
• Not following instructions.
• Not exercising.

So, if I know where I went wrong, then I must correct all these this time around.  There are no do-overs, girl.  I am praying for strength and wisdom that surpasses all human possibility and understanding.  I know that I can not do this alone but, only with God's help.  I commit to obedience.  It will be worth it on the other side.

Today, I awake... three weeks away from my surgery on 7/8.  My mind is racing a mile a minute... reading the forum, looking at suggested websites.  One minute, I am giddy from hearing a positive story and thinking about it being me. The next, I am shuddering after reading a story that didn't go so well.

I just received my Poo Pourri... Ozium is on the way.  

To some extent, I feel like I need to stop reading everyone's story.  I don't want to psych myself out.  Too much to think about.