S.A.R.A.

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It has been a little over nine months since surgery. I have lost a total of 153lbs almost what I weigh now. I am within 20 pounds to my target weight and I feel great for the most part. I can wear a size 6/8 pants and small/medium tops. I have some saggy skin but so far nothing to be "super" worried over. Dr. S says I will need a tummy tuck... I can kinda live with my tummy, the chest however needs a little work. All of my vitamin levels are normal or high. I haven't really had hair loss but then I had a ton to begin with. I have worked with Dr. S and Beve the nutritionist to make sure my body needs are being met. I will be honest I have eaten things on the "never eat again list"; Thanksgiving was really hard on me... I over ate and was in pain afterward. It was a good learning lesson and preparation for Christmas and New Years. I gained a little weight over the holiday and started the "liquid diet" last week; I made it until Thursday, the stress of the day got to be too much and I gave in to temptation. I will restart the liquid diet in the morning, I would like to get under 150 by Friday... its a push but worth the try.

Issues still unresolved or new:

I have found out the I am low in testosterone which may explain my very low libido issues. I have started taking a prescription for this but I don't find it is helping...yet. I haven't given up hope and neither has the hubby.

A new recent development that is concerning:

I have numbness in my left leg, from the pantie line to my toes. The leg "feels" heavier. I can hear and feel a difference in my gait and sometimes my foot drags. I talked to Dr. S; he referred me to see a neurologist. I saw one in mid November. I have nerve damage in the left leg and profound weakness compared to the right. He ordered a pelvic and brain MRI and told me to start physical therapy. My insurance denied the MRI's and the physical therapist won't "treat" me until they know what is causing the nerve damage. Yesterday my right finger went numb. I have no pain just numbness and weakness... its just weird. I will fight Cigna over the tests and I might need to see a different doctor; the first one is not very responsive to my calls... call me spoiled but dammit I want things figured out and I want it done now.

Next few months I just want to survive Christmas without weight gain, reach my goal of 135lbs on or around my 1 year mark, continue to train on my bike for next season.

This has been a nutty few months... So I am blogging to bare my soul.

With my ride being over I have been a HUGE slacker when it comes to exercise. I haven't been riding and I only touch the treadmill when I feel completely guilty about not exercising. I will make time for both again, I just have to realize that its going to be cold and rainy until May so I just have to do it. Hopefully, I will get a bike trainer for B-day/X-Mas. That will solve my cycling in the rain issue.

I have been good so far getting in my protein and Vitamins. All my labs came back fairly good and that is nice. I have noticed that as the weather gets cooler my desire to drink warm beverages has increased. I love drinking tea and sticking to the plan about giving up coffee has been hard but I have done it. Every once in a while I will have a decaf Tall Americano with a little half and half and a Splenda. The negative to all this hot tea is that I have noticed that I am only getting in 2 protein shakes a day; not the 3 that Dr. S says I need. I haven't noticed any hair loss so far and I want to drink the protein... the hot tea just sounds and feels better...

My Weight loss hasn't fully stalled; still loosing about a pound a week but that feels sluggishly slow. It is painful to barely see the scale move from week to week. I feel great about where I am (157) and I have figured out that I only really need to loose between 5 to 15 more pounds. If I loose more than 15 pounds the concern is that I will be too thin once I have plastics done. I already have friends telling me that I have lost to much weight. Is this concern on their part or is it weight loss jealousy. I can see areas that I still need to loose in... my legs and arms need work. I know that Plastic Surgery will help in huge ways but is it possible to get the look I am after without the huge cost and pain of PS. Can it happen naturally? Just by working out and good old fashion time?

I am a little concerned about this time of the year... I would always gain the holiday 10/15 between my Birthday and New Years. I am a social eater... I could nibble myself to death at parties... and the holidays are one party after another. This year I have my WLS to help me but I have to remain in control of the nibbling. I really want to achieve my weight loss goal by my one year mark; that means 14 more lbs in 3 months; at the rate I am going that could be a push especially if I truly stall during the holidays. 

Sorry about not posting a blog entry these last few weeks months... summer got busy, fast, and furious.

Can you believe it? Tomorrow is 7 months post op. I am currently down to 168lbs. I can wear a size 10 jeans and a Medium top. At my six month check up Dr. S. said I was doing a great job, I looked great and I would need a tummy tuck. But looking at things I might not. I can kinda live with my tummy... its my breasts I am disappointed about. I am thinking breast lift and slight augmentation.

I completed my first century bike ride this week. We rode for 3 days a total of 265 miles ~ the last day was the whopper 107 miles. I really didn't want to get on my bike that day but I had to. It was hard work but then shouldn't it be!?! I felt so great after finishing. I did it! I sweated, cried and bled a little! And I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I can't wait to do it again. Training over the summer really let me know what my body needed to keep pounding the pavement and I was glad that I didn't dump or bonk during the ride. I was tried every day and I am still slightly dehydrated. Getting fluids, protein and riding fuel was really hard. I will have to continue to learn what my body needs and how to supply it while riding hard.

I am still losing about 10 pounds a month and at this pace I should hit my goal of 135 by the end of the year... before my one year point.

I am shocked by this whole thing. I mean I knew I would lose weight and I knew it would go fast if I followed what Dr. S said... but man this is wild. I look like a different person, I feel like a different person and people treat me so differently. I am open about my RNY experience now and people don't believe that I was ever heavy. They are shocked to hear I had RNY surgery just within that last year and then they are even more shocked at the amount of weight I have lost. I have talked to many people about my situation... I want to share how this saved my life and how it can save someone else's life. I share the trials, the good, and the sad parts but always that without this tool I would be dying.

The biggest take away that I have is that a good life is hard work... but the hard work gives the best rewards. Nothing is easy... and I am starting to think its shouldn't be.

~Michelle

OK, I am talking about weather and exercise.

It is freaking HOT here!!! We broke an all time high record by reaching 102 today... The AC broke in my office building so it was stifling at work; then I come home to sit and sweat in my house. The worst is this weather pattern will be sticking around until the weekend.

Other news of this past week... I rode a 45 mile loop on Baimbridge Island. I rode with a few guys from church. I "bonked" and the guys were great while I rested, re-hydrated and ate something. Balancing riding, drinking and eating is really hard. We took a small break for lunch... I ate even though I felt sick but after eating I felt better. I riding during the week is really hard, but I push myself... but not in this heat. I will plan to ride again over the weekend... maybe super early in the mornings.

Down only 1lb this week... I think its because of all the riding. Muscle verses dumping fat.

I had an interesting conversation this last week with a new teammate to our dept. She has only been with us a few short weeks and did not know I had gastric bypass. She approached me while I was making my shake during lunch one day and asked what "diet" I was using... she had notice I had lost alittle weight over the last week and thought she might try it to loose 5-10lbs. I chuckled and told her that I had had gastric bypass earlier this year. She looked me "up and down" and said there is no way you did that. Again, I chuckled and told her to ask the next person who came in the kitchen... as it turns out my closest friend walked in a second later (she didn't know we were friends). She just couldn't seem to ask so I did her the favor. I asked my friend if she would mind sharing why I took a leave of Absence earlier this year. She looked confused but answered "DUH, you had stomach surgery now drink your protein before you forget why your here!" (I have been a little short minded this last week... I want to be out in the sun) The new teammate looked at me and was speechless... She had a ton of questions... which I kindly answered but ended with "Can you loose too much weight?" I told her I suppose so but most people level out at some point. We talked for short while more and then returned to the grind.

I hadn't thought about it again until I jumped on the scale this morning and weighed in at 188. I excitedly told my hubby but was halted when he said Thats great but when are you going to slow down... Can't you loose too much? (UGH, there it is again)

Everyone told me @ 3 months and then again @ 4 months "things will slow down" Here I am at the 5 month point and I am still losing 10 or 12+ lbs a month. I haven't had a true stall. I am like every other person out there... sometimes I forget to take my Vitamins, or protein or exersice... I have been testing what I can and cannot tolerate and I haven't had a full blow dump session. Trust me I am not complaining but.... can it happen? Can a RnY patient loose too much? What does it look and feel like? Should I be worried about it? Or is it an urban myth because in reality most people have slight re-gain?

Anyone have any insights?

Its been a slow lazy week. I have been a huge slacker on everything... protein, vitamins, and exercise. I just want to sit in a bath tub, sleep, and get pruned skin. I had a long weekend for the holiday. Behaved at all the holiday parties I went to and watched great fireworks. But now I just want to sleep and by back hurts... I think I will just go to bed now.

Scale weigh in @ 194 for the week. Not bad seeing the above exception... Could be cycle time. Uggg.

I bought a pair of size 14 pants, I wore them once and by the end of the day they were a little baggy... I need to learn to shop at a thrift store but I honestly don't know where to start. I guess going to a thrift store would be a good start but I am lazy.

It pains me to make that statement but it is very true. The worse part is I am proud to be a liar... about my weight.

I am fully publicly admitting that I am lying to the State of Washington. I no longer weight what my Driver's License states...  I weigh less. I weighed in this morning and fully expected the scale to still be at 200lbs or even a little higher. I have been eating more over the last few days, actually like a starved pig who just got fresh slop. I have been nibbling all day long (mostly good thing but even a few carby things...like a bite of brownies and a bite of  Krispy Kreme donut)  I was shocked when the scale flashed 196.0. I will never, never roll my eyes and think "SURE like eating more is gonna help me loss weight" when someone says to break a stall eat more.

Work is work... it still sucks.
Kids are great...
Hubby is doing better.

Today is my four months post op date.

Overall, the past four months have been relatively easy. I can eat, but I am rarely hungry. I can eat a variety of foods; I don't crave the sweets at all. I haven't tried to drink (wine)I would like to try but I am chicken. I don't need it but would like to have the occasional "glass" of wine when dining out. I exercise, drink my protein and stick to the plan. I have struggled with vitamins but mostly its me not the actual vitamins. I haven't had hair loss and it seems like my skin is retracting nicely. I will need a TT and a lift but I needed them before. I am off all meds, my knees and back don't hurt as much as they used to, and I feel great. My sites healed well and should fade as time goes on. I have no regrets and no real complaints linked to the surgery.

My current biggest issue revolves around other people.

Someone I worked closely with over the winter inquired about what I was doing to loose weight... he said I looked great and like a completely different person. I openly told him I had gastric bypass... he said "good for you, clearly its working!" It was nice to hear but I wondered why weight loss is something people have to make a big deal over. Is it that they feel compelled to make a compliment and weight loss is an easy target. I mean its work... he could say something like great job on that project or I really appreciate your feedback on that account. One can only guess. Still it's something that I will have to get over as it seems like it is happening every day. I guess this is part of the metal games WLS can have on people.

~Michelle

I am so close to 199lbs. I can practically taste it... The scale eluded me this week. I was really hoping but honestly I ate soooo much this weekend I knew that there was no way I would drop much weight. I just kept nibbling all day... okay more like 5 straight days; all the while NOT hungry... WTF 

I am not a food junkie... I don't sneak foods, I don't eat when bored or stressed... no I have a completely different problem. I am a social eater. You put me in a room with other people and food... I will eat myself sick. I completely loose track of what and how much I have eaten. And I had a horrible weekend and start to my week this week.

This weekend I had several engagements, I took my protein... Nope didn't drink it. I took my vitamins... nope forgot I even had them with me. Buffet line... not hungry but sure I will walk up there with you and continue our conversation...while talking fill a plate... maybe two. Go back to the table... talk and eat, rinse and repeat for HOURS.

I was so sick on Sunday night that I thought I was safe when at work!
Monday... WRONG again had a lunch with a Payor.
Tuesday ~ nothing on my calender safe... NOPE catered lunch for leadership recognition.

I cant seem to cut any slack...

I am setting all appointments to tentative if they are scheduled around lunch and if there is a whiff of food... I am not going.

Other than that... I was hit by a car (bumped more like it) while walking into work on Monday morning. My leg is still hurts a little so I am laying off the exercise until it feels better. I am beginning to HATE my job... and I am seriously considering looking for a new one.

Life has been crazy...but what doesn't kill me will make me stronger!!!

I do officially weight what my drivers license states. That's a win!!!

Things have been pretty smooth sailing. I mean these last 16 weeks have flown by and I can't really complain... much. So, Something new in my life to moan and groan about.

I have a skin thing... yeast infection? bacterial infection? Who knows but I will tell you this... My belly button has a problem and it hurts.

I noticed slight irritation sometime late last week, a few nights ago I noticed redness and minor discomfort, yesterday is started hurting all the time. I kinda poked around in there with a que tip and OMG it was moist (possibly oozing), smells, with redness and pain.

What the hell is wrong... I have never, never, never had skin issues and I cant even begin to describe how grossed out I am by this. Sitting here thinking about it turns my stomach... did I mention the putrid smell... (I am rather sensitive to odors!). 

I talked to Amy today... she wrote a script for some cream... ummm did I mention the problem was inside my belly button... how it the hell an I supposed to get a cream inside that little thing. My finger doesn't even fit... I mean really even a que tip hurt and she wants cream to go in there.  EWWWW...

Other than that all things are good... except for the growth in my Belly Button and my crap job that I would trade for just about anything. But thats a whole huge crap story... and really its just a job and who knows maybe I can find something different...

Drinking my protein... yeah
taking my 1 MILLION pills... yeah
Drinking my H2O... yeck yeah

Loving my RNY... Hell YES!