child.of.God
Well, where do I begin? I have been over weight, hmmm! since birth (I think). During my adult life it has really exploded and now it is killing me(445lbs). I am a Registered Nurse and my weight is interfering with my work performance. I work 12 plus hours a day (7pm- 7am), and I am totally exhausted afterwards. All I can think of is sleep when I get off work, I could not imagine doing any kind of exercise. So it does not happen very often.
I love to travel and be active out in the community with church and family, but my weight causes alot of limitations. I have to buy 2 plane tickets to fly on an airplane(not cheap). I am always cautious of seating and chairs, I am afraid I won't fit. I don't even go to the movies because I can't fit in the seat. When going out with friends and family I always ask for a table not a booth, because I can not fit in a booth. I like going to amusement parks with my family but I can't ride any rides because I won't fit and I have to stop and rest alot because I get so winded from walking.
I love to sing at church but I have become so self conscience that I hardly ever get up and sing any more.I feel so defeated, because I want to do God's will. I thank God for all the many blessings in my life, I love my church and my church family. I love to worship and praise God. I know I am nothing without him and the blood of Jesus Christ. I think of all the things God has done for me and brought me through. I know God wants me healthy and I must loose weight to be healthy. I have tried and treid and tried but very little success. I feel so defeated sometimes. I know God has plans for me and I have been praying for a change. I have been thinking about have a weight loss surgery for about a year now, I went to my seminair in October 2009, It was then I felt like this was what I needed to help me. Since then I have done all my surgeon and insurance required dr. visits. I am just waiting on a date.
I keep praying that if this is God's will then all will fall into place and I will get approved without any problems. I am very nervous about post-op life style changes. I have been doing research on protein supplements and dietary requirements. I plan to join the YMCA for some low impact exercise programs (like water aerobics).
My family is so supportive, I love them so much and I thank them too for standing behind me during this. I have never wanted to be skinny, I just want to be healthy and I would love to be able to shop for clothes in a normal store and not one that specializes in plus sizes.
I have been reading the blogs and forums on this website and they have been very helpful, inspiring and educational. Please keep me in your prayers, Thank You and God Bless You All :-)
