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Well, the whole weight loss thing has slowed down for me a bit this past month. I keep bopping between 235 & 239 - I was at 243 Aug 1st, so I really haven't made much headway. After the wrath of my last fill, (June 6th) and partial unfill, it seems I am still miserable. I have found that I should never-ever try eating breakfast. It WON'T go down. Heck, hot coffee sometimes won't even go down in the morning. If I am careful, by 10 or 11 am I can get down something crunchy like peanuts, crackers or the evil tater chip. Lunch is usually persnickity too. It's hit or miss. Either I try to eat soup or some meat of some sort and I fight it all the way down or urp it back up. Not fun! Dinner has been the same way. I can usually get one really good meal in per week that doesn't give me any trouble and I feel like I have a hollow leg. I know lately that I haven't been eating the good quality foods that I should, but it is only because I want SOMETHING to stay put in my tummy. I don't know if I just keep continually pissing off my tummy so it is swollen or if I am simply still too tight. Seems silly to get an unfill 3 months after you got filled. You'd thing that the 25-30lbs that I've lost since then would help loosen that band up. Don't really know what to do with myself. I fear the soft food syndrome thing may be setting in. Maybe I'm just dehydrated. Dunno - flustered!

I was visiting with mom the other day, and she asked me what my goal weight was. I told her 165, and she was surprised. She said that's what I weigh right now, and that would be really skinny for me. After thinking about it a bit, I think she is right. Mom is 5'3" or 5'4" and is right on the border between healthy weight and overweight according to the BMI charts. She looks great! But I am 5'8" - 4  or 5 inches taller and muscular too. She calls me a bull, moose or ox now and then (not negatively, but just cause I am strong). So, after discussing more and pondering, I am officially changing my goal to 180 lbs. Sounds fair. I can always change it later if I am still not happy. 

So, that means that I only have another 63 lbs to go. I've lost 60 lbs. even today. That means I am 1.5 lbs away from my halfway mark!! Hold on, let me go . 

You know, I started this process wearing a mens size 42-44 pants. I am down to mens 36-38 (womens 18-20). If I shrink at the same rate per pound, another 60 lbs would put me in mens 28-30's or womens 12-13's. Just so you know, that sounds perfect to me!!!  Although, if that extra 15-20 lbs would make the diff between seeing my abs and not. I'd really like to see them - just once. Ahhhh....dreams of a washboard tummy!

Yes, that's what I said, an elephants penis. That is equivalent  to how much weight I've lost. Yikes!!! A 60 lb. shlong! Nuff said...

I feel pretty good today. This morning, I decided to put on the super-shrink, girdle type shorts I bought.  What a struggle those are to get on when you freshly hop out of the shower. These things look like spandex biker shorts with a waistband that goes up to your boobs! Let me tell ya, they suck EVERYTHING in. They flattened out my tummy so much, I couldn't even button my pants because they squished my dunlop down so much. After a slight adjustment, my pant are fitting well, AND the dunlop has surrendered (mostly)! 

I had a couple realizations last night. Walking thru the livingroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had to make a double take. I really am thinning out thru the middle. I have separate boobs, ribcage and dunlop now. Not the brickhouse shape so much. Amazing! Also, I laid down in bed and looked at my belly. Across from both sides of my belly button, I have little shrinking dents in my dunlop. SaWEET!!! If I suck in just right, my ribs stick out and my guts really do suck in now! I'm in awe...it's been a long time. Ya know what else?   Flex right, flex left, grunt...wow, there really are abs under there! Makes me wanna go lift some weights and do some crunches! 

Ok, so it wasn't really my motorcycle as much as it was my leather motorcycle jacket. Yup, another NSV! Before surgery, I could NOT zip that jacket for the life of me. This morning that same jacket coulda killed me. It is so loose around my waist now that it slid right up from the wind on the bike. Wind blew in my collar and filled it up making me look like the hunch back. That in turn made the collar and zipper move up, right under my neck. Uh, gack, cough, CHOKING!!!! Getting light headed...pass-i-n-g out. Ok, no not really, but it coulda knocked me out....I could feel it cutting off circulation in my neck.  I wiggled, I jiggled and soon made it to work. It's time for a new jacket!!! Yay!!! And better yet, the new jacket will be black instead of brown and will match my Ass-less chaps!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!

Ok, so this morning I felt pretty pooped when I woke up, but after three quick NSV's by 7am, I am ready to rock for the rest of the day! I started out my morning in search of an outfit to wear to work. Hmmm... I wonder if this shirt fits yet? Not thinking that it seriosly would fit yet, since it was tight last week. Back then, it snapped all the way up the front, but the snaps pulled tight across my belly. Today, there is like an inch and a half to two inches to spare around the ole budda!!! Sweet!!! Now I needed some pants. This has been such a pain lately. The mens 40's are drooping and dragging on the ground, but the womens 18-20's are too tight. Where the heck are all the mens 38's I used to have?? Well, the brown cords are 38's - I barely fit into them last time, and would have been miserable with them buttoned. Guess what, I am not miserable today!!!! I throw on my cowboy boots from Colorado and my outfit is finished. Hmmm...boots and a blue westernish shirt - kinda reminds me of Luke Duke. That's why I love this shirt. I had a poster of Bo & Luke on my bedroom wall when I was a kid. Swoon - my idols! LOL!!!

Now on to my 3rd NSV. As I prepare to leave for work, I decide I have time to tighten up the waist on my motorcycle chaps. They have been sinched up on the tightest belt hole for the past week or two and lately have been drooping a bit while riding. They have 8 eyelets in the back center that a leather string is laced through to change the size. It was expanded to its largest size. Now it is laced to the tightest!!! Might just need new chaps yet this summer! 

I'm also gonna add another non scale victory to the list, making it #4 by 10:30 am. Whoo Hoo!!!! My friend Tom from work stopped me in the hallway and commented on how he could tell that I was thinning out through the mis section and encouraged me to keep up the good work. His wife has had bypass - she is definately a lucky woman to have him around, and I am lucky to have him as a friend. Thanks for the support Tom, it makes a huge differance!! 

Holy Cow! Thursday morning, the wife and I both went in to get a fill. I went first, and he added 1cc to my band for a total of 2.5cc's. I took a few sips of water before leaving and it seemed ok. As I sat waiting for Becca to get her fill done, I started getting stuck on the water I had just drank. I mentioned it to the Doc and he said to wait it out for a day to see if the swelling goes down. I foamied in the hospital parking lot on the way to the Jeep, then in the Jeep, and at the office 20 min. later. I was miserable all day. I couldn't hardly get water to squeek by.  Now after calling the office twice the next day, once at 8am, then again at 11:20, I decided to just show up and have him unfill me a bit quick before the weekend. By the time I got that unfill, I was HUNGRY, headachy and just plain ornery! He took 0.5cc out. Instant relief! I can drink water again slowly, and soft foods only for a while. I got a lot of restiction from just that half of a fill that's remaining. Magically tho, from the time of my fill, to the very next morning at 6:30am I had lost 5 lbs. HeHehehehe!!! :) I've gone back up two lbs. since then. I am sure I was dehydrated, and Aunt Flo is on her way so I can understand it.  Down to 260!!!! Only another 95lbs. to go!!!! 

So it seems lately that we have been busy swamped for the past few weeks. If it isn't a broke down vehical, it's laundry, yardwork or the dogs. The wife has picked up the majority the past couple days. (Thanks Babe!) So finally after work I got to go for a ride on the motorcycle. I've been wanting to get familiar with my ride since I got my endorsement a couple weeks ago. The ride was great and today I even commuted to work on the bike. No problem!! :)

The wife and I are both at slight plateus right now, and are both scheduled for fills. I go in on June 7th for my 2nd fill. My first fill went great. It took some getting used to, but I was still losing a pound per day for a week or so then it leveled off. I am so ready to lose like that again!!! I'm at a grand total of 40 lbs. down now. My exercise isn't what it should be. Becca gets up early now and then to run on the elliptical and now she is lifting at the hospital gym 3 times a week. I'm kinda jealous but it's my own fault. I just gotta get my buns movin'!

Surgery on March 20th went great! I came out of the anesthesia well, and was awake and chipper during most of my overnight stay at the hospital. I was pretty sore for the first week or so. I'm not gonna kid anyone! Bending and twisting is killer! But the good news is that you can really tell how much better you feel from day to day. I took a week off from work and that seemed to be plenty.

The day before I went back to work (Tues. Mar. 27) I lost all my energy and just felt drained. The next day was an all day meeting in Lansing for work that I had a HARD time staying awake thru. Thursday I started coughing and by noon on Friday, I was leaving work early to go to the doctor.

Whatever this crud was, I wanted to nip it right away. Well, doc says it's bronchitis. Now, I am doped up on a decongestant, antibiotic, cough syrup (with codine), spongia, and an inhaler. I think it is a little better today. I'm still drained, but I am at work.

Today was my surgery follow up appointment. Dr. Cujoe seemed to think that my incisions were doing fine, aside from the little rash around them from the steri-strips. Today is two weeks post op and I am down 13 pounds. I think the loss slowed some since I got sick. I was dropping 2 lbs. per day before then. But still, the average is a pound per day, which is awesome!!  26 lbs. total since my all time high of 303. I'm noticing my rings spinning more freely on my fingers and all of my jean are dragging on the floor even with my cowboy boots on. Becca says she can see the loss in my face - I don't see it, but ok! :)  I did realize today that my sweatshirt didn't fit as snugly around my belly as it used to. Yeah!!!

Also, my first fill is scheduled for Apr. 26th!

Ok, so I was only able to half ass succeed on the pre-op diet while in Colorado. (Which was absolutly wonderful btw!)  I didn't gain, but didn't really lose either. All this week I have been behaving pretty well. I'm only eating veggies & shakes throughout the day, and veggies & meat for dinner. The meat portions have been a little on the large side, but I suppose it could be worse. As of this point, I am technically down 11 lbs. from my all time high 303 tho not much of it while on this diet.

Today I called the surgeons office and verified my pre-surgery appointment and my surgery time. I see the anestheseoligist on Monday at 2:15 and surgery is Tuesday at 10:15. Then, the hospital called to get me pre-registered. Talking with the surgeons office & hospital like that is starting to make me a little nervous. I'm super happy to be getting this done. I know it's gonna help a ton. I guess I'm just scared that it won't work for me. Everybody has that feeling I guess, but the thought is just there in my head rattling around.

This weekend will be my prep time. I'd like to have all the laundry and house cleaning chores taken care of. Becca is shopping for me tonight, picking up jello, shakes and some more veggies. She's a good wife. She's even gonna take a day off work to bring me home Tuesday.

Starting the pre-op diet again tomorrow (Mar.1st) My surgery isn't til the 20th, but I want to get a leg up on the whole losing and retraining myself process. Also we will be on vacation for a week while I'm "supposed" to be pre-op dieting. Vacation = Diet? Um No! Well not totally! Vacation is about enjoying yourself and not stressing. I will try to watch what I'm shoving in my face, and actually during all that traveling, it may be easier to grab milk at a gas station and create a shake on the road rather than actually make a pit stop for a meal - and cheaper.

I'm still down about 10 lbs. from my highest weight. The shots in my back helped a ton, but now I'm back to being a lazy bum. Walking more than a few blocks really make my lower back start burning. At this point, I think it is just the "tenderloin" muscles trying to regain the strength they used to have. Walking a bit outside is a must right now tho. The new puppy (2 year old Choc. lab) needs to burn some energy in order to NOT be distructive to our house. So, it's good for all of us.

I'm not getting too nervous about surgery yet. The vacation, new dog, project at work and all the prep that goes into all of it has been on my mind distracting me. I have been visiting the forums here more recently. Everything just started to sound the same to me for a while. I guess after reading every message for months on end, you start to know the answer before you even read the posts. I am back, doing a refresher course on Bandsterism. I know that after I get my band I'll prolly take advantage of the support family here more often. 

Hmmmm.........