Yesterday was my one year anniversary. It's so hard to believe how fast the time has come and gone. It seems like just yesterday I was mad at my boyfriend for not sending me flowers in the hospital! Hehe. Anyway...185 pounds down in one year. Sometimes it seems unbelievable. Then other times I think of the 65+ pounds I want to lose and think that I have so far to go. The difference is now I know I can do it! Success is possible...and it is probable too. If I stick to the plan. I also know, however, that success is mine to lose if I don't exercise control. Unfortunately I never developed any of the side effects of the RNY, and I can eat anything. Granted, I can still eat just small portions, but as is usual those portions have increased over this year to near normal ("normal" meaning for a regular person NOT my pre-surgery appetite!), and I've realized that it would be just as easy to eat myself back up the scale by grazing during the day and drinking while I eat. So I think control will always be an issue. But the one benefit I have now, besides the malabsorption, is that when I overdue it...I can go work my butt off in the gym. Before you couldn't have forced me to do it. Now I love it. Wow...what changes can happen. I was upset yesterday because I finally took my x-rays to my chiropractor and saw the irreversible damage to my back by way of degenerative disks and arthritis. It sucks to see how I've harmed my body. But I just think about what might have happened if I hadn't made this step when I did...what other irreversible damage would I have done? Luckily I'll never have to find out. And hopefully the damage I have done will help convince the insurance that reconstruction is necessary to stop further spinal damage. Silver lining in the cloud and all... Hehe. Well...the only other thing I can say is that I'm so happy to have had all of you here at obesityhelp.com to help me through my struggles...and I hope to return the favor whenever possible. Take care everyone. I hope to be here next year at this time when I'm at goal and surgerized into the new me...hehe.