ajanikowski

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It has been a few weeks since I have last posted.  I got moved and the stress is just melting away.  I did my business trip to Louisiana and it went well.  So I am done with all of that.  I need to get back in to my excercising.  This is something that I have abandoned this month.  Not a good thing.  I weighed in at 208, so not much lost this month.  I have kept up with my vitamins protein and water.  That is what counts.  I have tried bread this month.  It didn't sit well.  I am going to hold off on that type of thing for quite some time.  It just makes me nasaus and tired.  So I decided to just not eat it.  It doesn't taste as good as it used to.  9 pounds to onderland.  I am looking forwad to that.  I did some shopping this week and bought some clothes that fit right now and some that are too small.  I just want to not have to go shopping all the time.  I have nice work clothes.  It feels good.  My 6 months is next tuesday and I will have measurements and weight done at the Dr. office.  I will also take new pics with the same outfit as my before pictures.  I am looking forward to that.  I want to change my avatar, but I haven't found a good picture for that yet.  So I am off for the weekend.  Tons of running and want to see my girls.  I can't wait.

Well today is moving day.  I have the truck booked for 2 pm.  So here we go.  I weighed in at 213.  Last night my mom's husband said you will lose about 40 pounds moving.  I'll take the 2.  I'm getting closer and closer to getting out of the 200's.  I am so excited.  I have to travel next week to Louisianna.  I like that every time I fly it gets easier.  I can buckle the seat belts on the plane and I'm not all exhausted and sweaty.  Not long ago and I couldn't have physicially done any of this.  So I am blessed.  A new beginning with this move and a calmer place for Rachel and I to live.  I can't wait to be done and out.  This is a good time to reflect on the good things to come and get rid of the past that I don't want any more. 

OK it is Friday and moving is really one of the worst things.  I know that I will be so much better next week.  I will have ths done and I won't have to worry.  I am at 215 this morning and that is 1/2 pound down this week and that is with my period.  So not bad.  Looking forward to a new living situation.  I am going to try and get a 1/2 day at work to get home and clean like a mad woman.  So I begin this month down 79 pounds from surgery and 90 pounds total.  Can't ask for much more than that.  This is a good thing.  I am very excited about this summer.  I will be able to do things I couldn't do last summer.  I am finally freeing my body from the prison it was in. 

Well today I weighed in at 215.5  So I am losing again.  I am very happy with this.  Getting closer and closer to the 100's.  Yikers.  That is a good feeling.

Well I just measured.  I started measuring about a week after I had surgery.   I have lost a total of 66 inches and 71.5 pounds since I started measuring.  This is a great total.  This month the biggest loss was in waist and hips.  That is a good thing.  This is where all my weight sat.  Good day to see progess in the right places.  My BMI has gone from 46.4 to 35.  Yikes.  I put my before pics on my profile today.  These pics make me sick.   Tonight my neice is going to take pics of me in that same outfit from before.  I am excited to see how they turn out.

This morning I'm weighing 217.  So one more pound this week.  I'll take it.  I can't believe this much weight has come off.  I'm packing my apartment up and this week has been another long one, but I am working at staying balanced.  I can do this.  I'm working on making some boundaries with my daughters.  It is a tough thing, but I can do that.  I have been hauling stuff to the garbage the last few days.  that is my excercise.  I have taken the dog on short walks but nothing great.  I had a wonderful evening on Wednesday I went to the opera with 3 of my sisters and my neice.  I had a great time.  We always laugh so much when we are together.  It is so wonderful to be with my sisters.  My friends funeral was on Thursday and it was a tough day, but we get through all these things.  So I am down 77 pounds and will take very single ounce.  LOL.  I am one pound closer to onederland.  that is a huge thing for me.  I look back to not too long ago and thought it would never be possible.  Here is is less than 20 pounds away.  Geez I smile when I think of that.  It has been years.  So here I am 45 younger than I have been in years.  It is all good.

OK.  Well today I weighed in and the scale said 218.  OMG.  I have been in the same 3 pounds for a month and now I dropped a couple.  I am so excited.  I am that much closer to Onederland.  Yippee.  I cannot wait.  This is such a great way to start the day.  Man I love this.  I was really stuck for about a month.  So I am happy as can be.  It is odd that when the scale drops like 3 pounds in a day it can make it so different for you.  Today is going to be a smiley kind of day. 

I made it this far through the week.  Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death.  I tell you.  Anyway today I can actually see the sunshine and that is a good thing.  The doc gave me some medicine to help with the crying.  Today I am at 220.  2 pounds down.  I'll take it.  I make sure I get my vitamins in and my protein etc.  That is one thing I can control.  I haven't been excercising the way I should, but I will get back on track after we move.  I am just going to plug through today and get it going. 

I suck today.  I am up a pound to 222.  I hate this.  I am home today because Rachel has the hives and a fever.  After Friday at work I am more than happy to work from home today.  I am at such a low today.  I will try to get my attitude up and working.  I am really having a tough time today.

Well today I was at 221.  So a pound or two gone.  Yeah... The stress of life has overwhelmed me and yesterday was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I have been dealing with two daughters in treatment and one that runs away.  I have 7 more months of treatment to pay for and I have decided to move out of my apartment and move in with some friends that have blessed Rachel and I with a place to live very cheap for a few months so I can get caught up on medical bills from last year.  Yesterday at work my boss informed me I wasn't learning fast enough for my position and gave me some options about what I could do.  I can't spend anymore time at work than I am right now and therefore will take a demotion to make it easier to deal with family life.  It was a big kick in the gut.  I have worked so hard.  I prayed about it alot last night and decided that I would rather kick my ego, than make it more difficult for my family.  I am going to take her suggestion and move on with dignity and grace.  I will take an Admin position in the department I am working for right now.  That is the best way to serve my family and not completely fall apart at this time.  I wouldn't have to work nights and weekends anymore.  I need to heal my family and myself.  Hard thing to swallow for sure.  So I swallow my pride (instead of a twinkie) and move on.  Boy last night I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but today it seems to make more sense to what is really important to me.  A new start.  So we continue to pack and get ready to move and try to do just that.  This is a hard part in my life, but I continue to move forward with God's grace and help.