Alisabee
I first began updating this website in 2003. My initial comments are related to my experiences with the surgeon I selected at that time named David Sooriash.
At my first consultation, I felt like I was auditioning for a role in a play. It was very intimidating. Dr. Sooriash came across as very serious, competent, experienced and knowledgeable. In my opinion, these are very good qualities, considering you are contemplating trusting him with your life. He asked that I start trying to lose an initial 50 pounds and I was given an appointment for the following month to follow up. I got the feeling that the doctor did not think I was serious about the surgery or that I would make an attempt to lose the weight. But I still left feeling optimistic.
When I returned the following month, the doctor was behind, so I waited in the waiting room for quite a while. There were people in the waiting room in all stages of the surgery process. There was someone there for the first time, someone who had the surgery 4 months earlier, someone who had the surgery 8 months ago, and they were sharing their stories with myself and a couple of other people who were new to the process. It was enlightening, to say the least. A lot of what I heard was scary. It made me really think about how serious a decision this is. But one really positive thing I learned was that all of these people were happy that they chose Dr. Sooriash. That made me feel a whole lot better.
When I finally went back, I weighed in and I had lost 16 pounds. Dr. Sooriash was visibly pleased and he seemed a lot more confident in my level of seriousness. His attitude was totally different from our first meeting. I suspect that he may act hard nosed so he can weed out the people who are not committed and who are not serious enough to go through something as extreme as this surgery.
At the present time, I am still trying to lose. I will make my third trip to Dr. Sooriash in a few weeks.
I did finally lose the weight Dr. Sooriash requested I lose. He sent me off to get the insurance requirements resolved and to be honest, I just freaked out! I fell off the wagon. It was around Thanksgiving and I just started eating everything in sight. My therapist told me this is called "self sabotage." I am infamous for this behavior. So needless to say, I lost the needed 50 lbs and then immediately started gaining it back. It took several months to get the nerve up to face Dr. Sooriash.
When I did finally return to Dr. Sooriash, I had gained 35 of the 50 pounds back. He BLASTED me! He told me I was not ready and that I needed to leave and not return until I was prepared to make a commitment to this. I tried to explain what I was feeling emotionally and he told me that I didnt know what I wanted and that my therapist wasnt helping me, etc. I was devastated. My mom was with me and we both left his office in tears. I hated the way he made me feel and I decided that day, that he was not the right surgeon for me.
SO...... here I am, several years later. It is October of 2005, and I have chosen a new surgeon and I am very pleased with my new choice. I met with Dr. Shariat for the first time on October 9th. I had to complete a ton of paperwork about my health, past weight loss experiences, family history, etc. The doctor read my paperwork as I was completing it and when we met for the consultation, I was amazed at the amount of detail he remembered from my paperwork. He really focused in on my list of ways my weight had affected my daily life and my family history. We talked about these things a lot. He also discussed the surgery and risks in great detail. He answered all of our questions and gave me a ton of information to read. He was kind, caring, soft spoken, honest and knowledgeable. My mom and I had a great feeling about him.
He told me that because I had stomach problems in 1992, he was not comfortable agreeing to due the gastric bypass without more information about the condition of my stomach today. He wanted me to have an upper GI, and because I had real bad bronchitis when I was at his office, he wanted me to have some pulmonary function tests. I also have to have a meeting with a nutritionist and I need to obtain a letter to him from my Psychiatrist.
I made an appointment to have the GI and pulmonary tests done at the same time. I scheduled time off from work, as did my husband and we went to a local hospital for these tests. I was taken back to radiology, where I was shocked to hear that they could not perform the GI on me because I was too heavy for their table. Yes, this was humiliating, but I told myself that I didnt have time to be humiliated. I had my husband call Dr. Shariat and I went ahead and had the pulmonary tests. Luckily, I wasnt too big for their equipment and I got the pulmonary testing done.
Dr. Shariat contacted St. Lukes and they said they could do the GI regardless of my weight. I went and had this procedure done a few days ago. They were wonderful! As it turned out, they also had a weight limit on their equipment, but they stood the table up and I stood in front of it, instead of laying down on it. All I had to do was drink some chalky, milky stuff and they took Xrays while I was ingesting it. This was so much easier than the endoscopic procedure I had done in the 90's. They really worked hard to make sure they could get the pictures that Dr. Shariat needed. I was very pleased with this hospital. They even had a gown that fit me appropriately! I have not heard from Dr. Shariat but the Dr. at the hospital said everything looked good. He didnt see anything that would prevent me from having the surgery.
I will go to the Nutritionist next week. After that, I assume I will meet back with Dr. Shariat to see if he is willing to move forward. WISH ME LUCK!
11-14-05 I met with the nutritionist and I was very pleased with how much I learned from her. She really explained how my body would be impacted by the surgery and what changes I will need to make to be certain I stay healthy and lose weight.
Once I completed all of the requested prerequisites, I called Dr. Shariat. Kristen, his office manager, explained that they were still waiting on the final approval from the insurance company. That afternoon, I received a letter from United Healthcare that said I was APPROVED! I didnt know whether to laugh or cry. I just couldnt believe my eyes. I must have read the letter 15 times. I really never expected things to go so smoothly. The following day, I got a call from Dr. Shariat's office and they said that they also received the letter from the insurance company and it was time for me to come back in and discuss the next step.
My husband went with me to the appointment so he could meet Dr. Shariat and ask a few questions. Dr. Shariat was again, honest, caring and informative. My husband liked him and seemed very comfortable asking questions. Sometimes he can be a little shy, so I was pleased to see him at ease with the doctor. After explaining the test results to us and answering my husbands questions, Dr. Shariat advised us that there was nothing he could see from the preliminary tests that would prevent us from moving forward. I was so excited to hear this! He said the next step would be to schedule the surgery! I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Unfortunately, because we are approaching the holidays, I am not able to take the required time off from work until January 2006. Dr. Shariat tried to work around my work schedule but it just wasnt possible to make it work before the new year. Initially, I was very disappointed because I just dont want to wait any longer and the anxiety is killing me. I am so ready to start my new life. But then I realized how lucky I am to have this opportunity. The next 6 weeks will pass quickly with the holidays coming and before I know it will be January. One of my girlfriends said, "this year you wont have to have a resolution, because you will be starting your new life." She is right and I am not going to be sad about something as silly as waiting 6 weeks. I have been suffering in this body for 15 years, so whats another 6 weeks!?
1-2-06 I have not updated this blog in a while, because things were not progressing at all and I was becoming really frustrated. The first few months of this process went so fast that my head was spinning and then after the insurance company approved me, everything came to a stand still. I called Dr. Shariat every Monday morning to check to see if they had a date for my surgery and the office manager, Kristen, explained that they were waiting on some paperwork from the insurance company and then the hospital, etc. etc. I was really growing concerned that something was wrong, but then finally, the week of Christmas, I called and spoke to Crystal and she advised that I was scheduled for surgery on January 30, 2006 at 8 AM. Since I was sure she was going to tell me that I still didnt have a date, I was stunned to hear otherwise! I sat in silence for a minute and then I said, "Did you just say that I am scheduled for surgery?" And she confirmed that I had heard right! I was so excited, I yelled out through my office! I called my husband, mom and friends and told them the good news.
So, now I am waiting. And even though it seems redundant, I am going to try to exercise and eat healthier between now and my surgery date. Dr. Shariat needs an accurate weight reading for me and so far I have not found a scale that can weigh me. I even bought one that said up to 440 lbs because I had no idea what I weighed. When I was last weighed was at Dr. Sooriash's office and I was at 415. I never dreamed that I could weigh more that 440, but when I stepped on that scale and it said "ERROR," I had to face the ugly truth. So, I would like to be able to weigh myself on my new scale between now and Jan. 30th. I think that is a realistic goal. I am hoping that is just 10 pounds or so.
I have also been feeling some anxiety about the surgery. Not the kind of anxiety that would make me decide not to do it, but I keep thinking about the people I have read about that died and had terrible complications. It is so scary, but I feel the risk is necessary. I just keep telling myself that I am young and strong and I have a good doctor. I plan to check the message boards to see if others are having these same fears. I could really use some advise for coping with this.
1-16-06 My surgery is two weeks from today and the only way I can describe it is "SURREAL." I just still dont know that my brain had completely processed what I am about to do. I feel good about it and I have been feeling a lot more positive, but I am not sure that the reality of my future is completely understood. Can a person really grasp that they are about to change their entire life? It reminds me of the feelings I had when I was about to get married. I also imagine this is how mothers feel when they are about to give birth. So, that is how I am going to approach this situation. I am going to go for it and never look back!
I haven't been as worried about the complications of the surgery. I am accepting that these complications exist and hoping for the best. I have always been a relatively healthy person, even with my weight being so out of control, I have had a lot of close calls with health problems, but I always manage to come out okay. I am optimistic that this surgery will be no different.
I will write more as I get closer to my day!
1-29-06 In less than 24 hours, I will be in surgery. I feel pretty good today. I get knots in my stomach when I really think about tomorrow, but I have no doubt about what I am doing. My husband just took some "before" pictures and that really made me realize that this surgery is definitely what I need to be doing. Strange how you dont see yourself the way you truly look.
I went last week for the pre-operative testing. It was easy. They took some blood, did a chest x-ray and and EKG and an anesthesiologist reviewed my results and asked me some questions. It took a long time, but the time was mostly spent waiting.
I also wanted to share that I found somewhere that "super morbidly obese" people can be weighed. Over the past few years, I have not known what my weight was because even my doctors did not have a scale that had a capacity capable of weighing me. Obviously, I had to be weighed before the surgery for anethesia purposes, so my Mom and I called around and we couldn't find any where to do it. But then Kat (Kathy Harding) was kind enough to respond to my message board plea for help and she suggested Weight Watchers. So my Mom contacted their 800 number and they advised that all the Weight Watchers offices have a scale that goes up to 600 lbs. The people at Weight Watchers were very nice and discreet and even wished me luck with my surgery.
Well, I have a lot to do to get ready for tomorrow. Wish me lots of luck!
1-30-06 I never in a million years thought I would be sitting here tonight and I sure wish I had better news. I guess the good news is that I am alive, my surgery ended up being canceled because I got too anxious and my blood pressure was too high for them to proceed. They even gave me some meds through my IV to try and lower my pressure, but it didn't work at all and they decided it best to cancel. I never thought I would get that upset. I think I even had a panic attack. I don't know why it happened, and I am so sad that things turned out this way.
My surgeon told me to see my primary care doctor about my blood pressure. He feels that I may need to be put on medication for hypertension. He said that we will try again after I get the pressure situation in check. He also told my husband that next time he would give me some medication to relax me a few days before the surgery so I wont be so wound up. I do plan to keep moving forward. My family is very supportive and I am really lucky to have them. I am so confused about what happened and my fear of the surgery, but I am not giving up on this yet. I have cried a lot today and every time I try to explain what happened today I get really upset, but I have to find a way to get past this. I am going back to work tomorrow so I will have something to occupy my mind, but hopefully it wont be long before I will have another surgery date and we can start this all over again.
1-31-06 FL message board post
First, I want to thank Kathy Harding for her support. She has been such a blessing to me. I am so glad I found her on this message board. I am really having a hard time right now and it is nice to know Kat is there and she truly understands what I am up against. Now, about my surgery.... I wish I was reporting that I had great success on Monday when I was scheduled for the procedure, but as it turns out my surgery was canceled. As I laid on the stretcher waiting to go into the OR, I just started to panic. I was literaly crying out of fear and when I said goodbye to my husband and Mom, I started thinking, "what if I never see them again?" The other thing I never thought about was that I wear glasses and my vision is really bad, like legally blind without my glasses. Well, of course my glasses were taken from me before I went into the OR and I couldnt see anything. I could see that there were people all around me, but I couldnt make out there faces or anything. It was really intimidating. Then they wanted me to move from the stretcher on to the operating table and because of my sleep apnea, they had all these pillows arranged in a way that would arch my back and keep my airway open. Well, I just couldn't seem to get myself situated on this table the way they wanted and I could feel their frustration with me growing. At this point, I went into full panic mode! I think I really had a panic attack, which is something I have never experienced. My heart was beating so fast that I felt it was going to come right out of my chest and I felt like I couldnt catch my breath. They kept putting the oxygen mask over my face and instead of helping me breathe, I felt like I was suffocating. I let myself get so upset that my blood pressure went through the roof. The doctor gave me some meds to try to calm me and lower my blood pressure, but I guess I was too far gone. After a few minutes, they decided to cancel the procedure. I went home after the medication wore off and my blood pressure was under control. My surgeon came and talked to me and he explained that this was not over, but he was not willing to put my life at risk to perform this surgery. He told me to make an appointment with my PCP and have the blood pressure issue addressed and then to call him and we will start over. I feel so disappointed in myself. I got up this morning planning to go to work, but I just couldnt face everyone. I dont know how I will ever get the nerve to walk back into that hospital again. I want to keep going, but I dont know how. I dont know if I am strong enough. How do you subject yourself to this surgery without having all of these fears? I am so confused. I am hoping that someone out there has some advice that will help me find the inner strength I need to walk back in that hospital.
I decided to paste this message board post into my web log because as I was writing the post, I thought of some things that I did not address in my post yesterday. After a day of reflecting on what happened, I feel that I am seeing things more clearly, but I still need help to get through this. I made an appointment with my therapist and my PCP, so I am still trying to move forward. I will see the PCP tomorrow and we will find out about the blood pressure issue. I will write again soon.
2-17-06 I haven't been very good about updating lately. I think I was avoiding thinking about all of this stuff. But a lot has happened since my last posting.
I did go to my PCP and my pressure was high 160/90. I was put on medication and I have been taking it now for about 2 weeks. My pressure is substanially lower as a result of the medication, but it still wasnt in the normal range so just today, my PCP doubled the dosage. Hopefully, that will do the trick. I have an appointment with her again on 2-22-06 and if she feels that we have controlled the blood pressure issue, I will be able to have my surgery on March 1st! I really wasnt expecting to get rescheduled that quickly, but I am glad. I was really getting into a "funk."
I also have an appointment to see Dr. Shariat on 2-22. I am anxious to talk to him about all of my concerns from my first experience. I am going to make sure that he is planning to give me a sedative before wheeling me into the operating room. I have also been working on breathing techniques and other ways to keep myself centered and calm. I think I will be much more prepared for things the 2nd time around.
2-26-06 I found out on Friday that the date of my surgery has been postponed, but this date change was to my benefit, so I am okay with it. I am now scheduled for surgery on March 20th at 7:15 AM at Shands Jacksonville.
I also met with my surgeon on the 22nd and we discussed the issues that I had regarding the canceled surgery. He gave me a prescription for Ativan and said that I should start taking it a few days before the surgery. He also assured me that I was given a sedative in the pre-op holding when I was scheduled for surgery the first time, but because my pressure was so high, it didn't help. I honestly didnt think I had been given any kind of sedative. I really couldn't tell.
I have also been assured that I will be allowed to keep my glasses on until they start to put me under. Dr. Shariat was concerned that I didn't tell him about the need for my glasses and some of the other issues I had. I promised him (and myself) that I would be more assertive. I really think things will be better the second time around. Next time, I will know what to expect and I will be ready.
4-9-06 I have a lot to report about my WLS journey. I did not have the surgery on March 20th. As it turns out, even though I received a letter from United Healthcare saying I was approved, they had not "certified" the approval. The insurance company even told us that if I had gone through surgery on January 30th, they would have denied the claim and I would have been given a certain time period to provide the information they needed to certify me. If I didn't or couldn't get the information in time, I could have been left to pay the bill out of pocket. How scary is that?
So, to be certified, I had to provide 5 YEARS of height and weight data, certified by a medical doctor. I did manage to get this information together, but not in time. They officially DENIED me, but my surgeons office filed an immediate emergency appeal. While I am sad that I had another canceled surgery date, at least this time I didn't make it to the O. R.
As we all know, everything happens for a reason, right? Well, as it turned out, my mother-in-law had a massive heart attack the same day I found out I wasn't having surgery. She was in the Cardiac Care Unit for several days and we had a lot of hope, but unfortunately, she passed away. She was only 69 years old, so we really weren't expecting this to happen so soon. My poor husband is devastated. He is a real "momma's boy" so this has really taken a toll on him. There is no way that I could have had surgery with all of this going on. My husband needed me and he could not have endured anymore stress. Again, I say, everything happens for a reason.
The day of my Mother-in-laws service, I got a call from my surgeons office. Kristen, the office manager, has been so wonderful. She was livid about the insurance company playing these ridiculous games and she has been on them every day. She is so awesome. Well, they overturned the denial and I am back to approved status. BUT (there is always a "but") when I did the pre-op testing the second time, my blood sugar was too low! I am sure this was because it was 8 AM and I had not eaten breakfast, but they are going to make me due a glucose panel and then if it is ok, I will get another surgery date.
I recevied the referral to the lab and I am going to try to get this done in the next few days. I have got to get back on track.
7-9-06 A lot has happened since my last entry. I had the lab work done and again, bad news followed. They discovered that I have type 2 diabetes and hypothyroidism. My surgeon has advised that he can not operate until I get both of these problems under control. The thyroid problem is corrected by medication, but the diabetes seems a little more difficult to get control of.
Initially, my Primary Care Doctor put me on 500 MG Glucophage. After taking that for a while, my sugar was lower. It seemed to be averaging around 160, but that was not low enough. I am now taking 1000 MG of Glucophage and my sugar has gone even lower, but now it is not stable at all. One day it is 160 and the next 115. I have all but stopped eating and drinking things with a lot of sugar, even Coke, which is something I didnt know if I could pull off. But I still haven't been exercising and I know that is a big problem.
I did receive a letter from United Healthcare advising that I am now approved and certified. So at least that is behind me.
Sometimes it seems like this surgery is never going to happen. I am glad that all of these health issues have been uncovered because I already feel a lot better, but I still have so far to go. I have managed to loose about 18 pounds, but that isn't much of a consolation since I had hoped to be 6 months post-op right now. I have not given up, but it is hard to keep a positive attitude.