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I have made it a year and lost 100 pounds. I just got approved to get a skin removal surgery consultation done. My primary care says it is medically necessary so hopefully insurance will help pay for it. I also found out that my gallbladder may be bad despite spending $600 on the meds that are supposed to keep that from happening. Of course it could be a hernia or just gas too they say. I am awaiting the Ultrasound results so I will know more.

I am three months out from my surgery now. I only have about 50 pounds to go for my goal weight!!! I am really happy with my progress. I haven't lost any weight for the last week or so, but its okay. It looks like that happens sometimes from reading the forums on here. So what's the problem then right?

My hair is falling out like crazy!!! I know that this pretty much happens to everyone. I know they say it grows back. Its not making me feel any better. My hair has always been my favorite thing about myself second to my boobs. LoL. It behaves every day, holds a style. A perm last for almost a year when I have had them. Its shiny and pretty. Not anymore. I have split ends and it looks dry. My husband asked me to stop wearing it down because hair is getting everywhere. I feel like I have cancer and that any day my head will be bear and I will be forced to resort to hats and handkerchiefs to cover it. Yes I know I am being dramatic. This is the first time I have questioned my choice. Every time I brush my hair I want to go eat.  I have been winning the fight against eating. I still feel like crying all the time. Is it my vanity? I suppose, but is hair such a bad thing to be vain about. I feel like a friend is dying.

I really didn't expect some of the problems I would have post surgery.

1. My body hurts like crazy. At bed time I feel like my pelvic bone is poking through my skin and my lower back is on a board. In the day time my hips hurt if I walk or stand or sit too long. I am sure it is just that I am losing faster than my joints are adjusting... but it still sucks!

2. I am baking all the time. I am not eating it or even licking the preparations off my fingers. I just keep making stuff. I have tons of sweets on my counter right now, since my kids can't eat it all. I don't even want to eat it though.

3. I don't want to eat at all. Every time I eat I get a bit nauseous. I hate that feeling. I know I need my protein, but all of it makes me feel ill. Even protien shakes. I am coming to terms with it... but it is irritating.

4. I hate my vitamins. They all are liquid, chewable, or disolveable. They all taste like CRAP!!!! I have done some reading here and think I am going to give the chewables to my kids, and start taking regular pills. I don't have any problems swallowing them. I just hope they disolve properly in my pouch so I don't start losing my hair!

Okay, done whining. They should just warn you about some of this stuff. Not really. Everyone is different, and you cant warn everyone about everything. If only you could....

Well I managed to live through my surgery. I am two weeks out now. I ended up being taken back into surgery because I was bleeding. I had 4 units of blood transfused and spent 5 days in the hospital instead of 2. After getting home with a G tube sticking out of my stomach, it got infected. I also had an allergic reaction to the glue they used to close my laparascopic incisions. Then I got thrush. Now my husband has to pack one of my incisions with gause twice a day to help get rid of the infection. Needless to say this hasn't been very easy.

My surgeon was great though. They found the bleeding quickly and stopped it right away. He was there to answer late evening calls because of questions or concerns about all that was going on. I am still excited about having the surgery. I have lost ten pounds already. 

I waited to write in my blog until I had strength and energy again. I am starting to get all of that back. I don't regret the surgery. I was frustrated as to why this was all happening to me. I am the first patient in 5 years, between three surgeon's cases, to have complications from any type of bariatric surgery. I followed all the rules. I never cheated on the pre op diet. I excercised, and did everything they asked. I still had trouble and at one point I thought I was going to die. Of course I wasn't, but waking up in a pool of your own blood can be pretty frightening. I suppose this happened for a reason. I am not sure what that reason is, but it doesn't really matter. I am starting a new life that I appreciate more than ever before. Perhaps that was what I needed to learn. Life is short, don't waste it on food.

I only have two days left. Two days of skim milk and water. Two days until my RNY surgery.  I have moments that its hard not to eat what my family is eating. I am making it though. I am really glad I have to go through this pre-surgery. I appreciate knowing that I had more will power than I thought. I am getting SOOO excited about my surgery. Only two days left.