Anna T.

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So, last I posted, I was just married and had just found out I was expecting a baby... 6 days later, I had a miscarriage I'd have to say that was without a doubt the hardest loss I've ever experienced, but my husband was wonderful in helping me get through it.

From there, life went on, and a week after the miscarriage (to the day) I lost my job... 5 months later, another miscarriage, and 1 month after that, we moved so I could begin a new job.

After the 2nd miscarriage, I was put on progesterone (because I have PCOS) and while it had become obvious that my body wanted to GET pregnant, it was having some serious issues STAYING pregnant.  I was on the progesterone for 11 months when my insurance ran out and due to financial limitations, I had to stop... a month later, in April, 2012, I found out I was pregnant - again!

As soon as I discovered this, I went into my doctor to confirm and then to an OB - letting him know upfront I considered myself high-risk due to prior miscarriages - and my WLS - even if it had been 7 years ago at that point.  My doctor was FANTASTIC and when we got to around the 20 week mark I brought up to him my concerns regarding the glucose tolerance test (GTT) that is done to make sure you don't have gestational diabetes.  For someone who is non WLS, they have you drink 32oz of a high-sugar content drink (that I've heard tastes similar to soda syrup) and do a blood test - With the WLS history, and knowing how my body reacts to high sugar, even still, I asked him if there were alternate testing options available.  (I figured throwing up the drink would nullify any test results.)

What we did instead was sugar testing (similar to someone who is diabetic).  For 2 weeks (beginning in the 24th week of pregnancy) I had to test my blood sugar via needle stick 4x a day (wake-up, and 2 hours after each meal). After the first 2 weeks, we reduced it down to 2 days a week.

On December 27, 2012, at 3:29am, I gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL boy named Theron Alexander who weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz..

Theron is now 8 months old and the light of my life!

 

 

So the last time I updated, I had just started dating David and had been going through some pretty hefty health issues - not related to the surgery... Now, here it is 10 months later and so much more is happening. 

Last week, David and I made the move from boyfriend and girlfriend to Husband and Wife....... and we found out we're expecting the bundle of joy I was starting to believe I'd never have!  If the internet calculators are right, I'm about 10 weeks along so far and due in July.  My first appointment is on January 5 - and we should be able to hear the heartbeat!!! I can't wait!

A new city - a new wife - a new husband - a new life - and for once, all is right!

So it's been quite awhile since I've posted anything on here but there have been a LOT of changes in the last several months!  The first part of last year, I was doing really good using a "traditional" diet approach (calories & exercise) and in fact went from 284 pounds to 250 between January and May.  Come Easter, I hit a bump in the road and quit counting my calories and quit going to the gym and managed to put back on 14 of those pounds by August... Back to 264 (which I've decided is my body's default weight - not the weight I want to be, but the weight my body feels most at home... every time I look at the scale, i'm back at 264 - not more, not less - just 264... When I'm not trying... 264.  When I am trying, the point I always have the most problems leaving behind... 264...)

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS and told that it would be exceedingly difficult for me to have children (no, I don't have any, lol) even though that's all I've ever wanted with my life is to be a mother.  In December, I started experiencing some pretty severe abdominal pains.  I knew it wasn't an obstruction (I went through that in 2006) but I knew something wasn't right.  I had also been bleeding continuiously for about 8 months, so in January, I went to my doctor and we found a large overian cyst.  I was scheduled for surgery on the 24th to have it removed.  Unfortunately, by body didn't want to wait the 3 weeks for scheduled surgery and had me completely invalid for the following 2 weeks. 

Luckily, my boyfriend has been a saint and taken care of me better than I could have ever imagined.  He has let me stay with him and was (literally) helping me in and out of bed, in and out of a chair... catering to my every need - and would have helped me in the bathroom if I weren't so prideful...  So after a week and a half of incapasity, not being able to eat, and an entire day of dry heaves (2am - 7pm 20 minutes at a time every 20 minutes...) I had him take me to the walk in clinic where they refered me to the ER.  Once at the ER, they did another ultrasound where they found the cyst on my left ovary and a contrast CT scan that actually found a bowel obstruction had formed.  The cyst was the size of my head and had pulled my overy into the righ side of my body creating the obstruction... Within 12 hours, I was in surgery.

When they removed the cyst, it was 3 pounds and made up of multiple types of cells (hair, teeth, sweat glands, etc) but was not the result of failed pregnacy...

I just got home from the hospital a few days ago, staples out, and now am recovering on my boyfriend's couch... When I started the year, I weighed my (regular) 264.  By the end of January, I was down to 250 (It's amazing what being happy will do for weightloss) and as I walked in for my post-op and staple removal, I am officially down to 238 pounds!  That means I am no longer "Extreamly Obese" but simply "Obese"... I don't remember EVER seeing a number less than 240 when I stepped on the scale so again, as I looked at the numbers flash across the display I had to look twice...

Off The Scale...
I have my first real boyfriend... sorta.....

When I was in the 4th-7th grades, I had a really good boy friend who's dad worked with mine at the local roller skating rink.  We saw eachother 3-5 nights a week and were almost always together.  We skated couples skates together, played pin ball... I was as in love with him as you can be in the 4th grade and for what it is in 4th grade, we were "dating". 

Come 7th grade, his parents were seperated and he moved away... we lost touch but I always had wondered about him...   What is he doing? Is he happy? Where does he live? Is he married or have kids? Does he remember me?? Does he wonder about me???

This last year on his birthday, I decided to try (again) to see if I could find him online so I threw his name into the social miracle that is Facebook and lo-and-behold, there he was! I couldn't believe it but it really was him... you couldn't mistake the picture and it was the right birthday... he came from the right city... it HAD to be him... SO I messaged him...
          "I don't know if you remember me but we used to be really good friends when we were kids.  If you're who I think you are, your sister's name is ______ your brother is _______ and our dads worked together at the ______ Skating Rink.... I was just wondering what you've been up to over the last 15 years or so and wanted to say "Hi."  By the way, Happy Birthday!"

After that, I proceeded to babysit my Facebook account just WAITING for a message back... which I got the next day.  He remembered me!!! So we started chatting online back and forth and I found out he only lives about 10 miles from me.  We were getting along great online and decided to meet up for a "Social Outting"  This wasn't a date but just a chance for us to meet face to face and see if we really still clicked... and we did.

After the social outting, we continued to talk back and forth and I went to his house several times after work to spend time with him and a week later, we decided that we would begin dating... He holds my hand in putlic.  He kisses me in public.  He introduces me to his friends as his girlfriend.  He talks about me as his girlfriend!! These are all things that shouldn't surprise me - but they do! For the first time, I can lean over randomly and kiss him... and it's ok!

So, here I am, 28 years old, with my first real boyfriend, living my own little fairy tale romance, and for the first time in my life, I am happy!!! I've actually been asked lately why I am glowing!

I've never believed in holding on to clothing in the hopes of "Someday" because for as long as I can remember, SOMEDAY has never come...

SOMEDAY has always been that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - you can chase it for hours, days, months, or even years - but try as you may - SOMEDAY will always escape your clutches...

Then four years ago, one of my co-workers gave me some clothes for after my surgery... some of it fit - most of it didn't and either went on to other deserving homes or to the Goodwill... EXCEPT for that one coveted item...

I never had a "little black dress" - I mean, come on, let's face it... there has never been anything LITTLE to fit into a little black dress! And any time I went out trying to find a nice dress for any kind of a formal affair or when I wanted to look my best, the items on the rack either laughed at me, scrambled to hide behind the shoe counter, or looked so damned frumpy that I had to laugh at myself for the thought of even THINKING I would be able to find something that I would look good in...

Back to the bag... Within the mass of clothes she gave me was a beautiful, if simple, black dress... Just below the knees, sleeveless with a V neckline - Perfect... BUT it was a too small... So four years ago, I decided that that dress was my first goal - and for about the last 3 years - and with much manipulation of my nooks, crannies, and bulges, I have been able to SQUEEZE into the little black dress that I've had my eye on - BUT I would never think of wearing it beyond my bedroom walls...

This morning, I decided - randomly - that I wanted to give another go at it... I mean why not? Since New Years I've lost 30+ pounds, I'm able to do a lot more physically than I ever dreamed possible (I even managed 60 solid minutes on the elliptical Thursday when 6 weeks ago I'd get off after 5 minutes ready to cry!) And I'm feeling better all around - So why not check my progress on yet another goal of mine, right??

SO... I go into the closet...
.....................Grab the dress...
..............................Look at the size on the tag (and laugh to myself a little)...
........................................
......Remind myself that there's no zipper.... and slip it over my head.......
Next, I turn around to look in the mirror, smooth out the length of the dress, and prepare to adjust and rearrange my parts like I always have with this particular garment... and realize - I DON'T HAVE TO!!!

I've had this dress, this goal, this SOMEDAY, this pot of gold, sitting in my closet for FOUR YEARS - It's gone with me through 6 moves and FINALLY, has become a reality for me!!

And the best part is... It's a size 16!!!

(Sorry, I'm a little late posting this - I'm updating from another blog...)

Sunday  (March 22) was the big day and I made it to the top of the Columbia Tower in 58 minutes 3.18 seconds - that's 69 flights of stairs or 1,311 steps!!! I know I could have made a better time but I took a few minutes on the 40th floor to enjoy the view and rest a bit before hitting the rest of the climb. From the top floor, you could look right into both Qwest and Safeco Stadiums!

By the time I made it to the 72nd floor and was on my last flight, I could hear them playing "We Are the Champions" and I started to cry... First out of relief that the climb was over, then in memory of Kelsey (my cousin who I was climbing for), and finally, out of pride - a sense of accomplishment - because in making it to the top, I was able to prove to myself that I CAN in fact do anything I set my mind to.

"The principal is competing against yourself. It's about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before."
- Steve Young

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In other news...

I weighed in the other day and for the first time in my memory, I'm below 260!!! I weighed in at 257 on Saturday night AFTER dinner and FULLY DRESSED!! On top of that, people at work who I haven't said anything to about my weightloss efforts are starting to take notice and ask me if I'm losing weight!!

I don't remember the last time we met... I know we haven't seen eachother since I was a young child (if even...) But then, yesterday in my first Zumba class, I walked in and started doing my streaches while I was waiting for the class to start... and there she was, standing in the front of the class - staring back at me... at first I didn't recognize her but then it hit me... I know that person...

Who you ask...

Skinny Anna...
She's in there - I know she is - I saw her! I know what she looks like and I know that I'm getting closer to meeting her every day!

I don't remember the last time we met, and I don't remember when she left (I remember waking up one day and she was gone!) BUT it looks like she's finally coming back and I can't wait until she's a full time presence in my life.

In the last 3 years, I've lost 120 pounds - I've lost 31% of my total body weight from my highest weight and I've still only seen the fat girl... I've still held onto the fat girl mentality, and I've held onto the idea that I wouldn't look good if I lost the weight and got down to a normal weight. This weekend though, I saw the person I'm supposed to be. I saw what I will look like when I lose all this weight (in the flesh - not in my mind) and I don't have the fat girl thought process anymore.

I 've never driven in Oregon before and went down there over the Fourth of July weekend to visit a friend.  When I went to get gas, the station I went to was a "mini-serve" (whatever that means!) so I had no idea what my role was in getting the gas from the pump to my tank and was watching the other drivers for queues... they were out of their cars, and some were even BY THE PUMPS!!! It didn't look any different to me than a gas station does in Washington - and I may be a girl, but I know how to pump my own gas - so I got out of the car, paid and started to put the pump in my tank, selected the grade I wanted, and then... one of the attendants came over to inform me that pumping your own gas is illeagal in the state of Oregon... Ok, fine... so I backed away, and he pulled the trigger and I walked back to the driver's side of the car.  We started small talking and I told him it was my first time driving in the state, that I was there visiting a frined and driving back to Washington the next day, and OUT OF NOWHERE he told me that he thought I AM CUTE!!!!!!

I know, I know, this shouldn't be a big deal, but this was COMPLETELY out of the blue and unsolisited, and from a complete stranger!!!  I've NEVER been told I was attractive - not even by close friends and for a complete stranger to say it...  AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (And it's not even like we were in a bar so I can't blame it on beer goggles!)

So, that's my first Off Scale Victory in quite some time, but it was a big one for me!