Kara M.
Sunday June 19, 2005
I started researching WLS several years ago. I went to my first informational meeting December of 04, but decided I was not ready and would give Weight Watchers one more try. Needless to say I attended my second informational meeting for WLS in February of 05’. I started doing as much research on the whole process as humanly possible. I found that it is more widely performed then I thought and that it has changed drastically over the last several years. I have completed my initial consult appointment and was disappointed with the nurse’s attitude, but I am not going to let one bad apple ruin this for me. I have one more appointment with the Psychiatrist for a total of 4; she told me I am 99% farther along then many of the patients she sees for WLS and I will get her approval. She told me that I am a poster child for the disease of obesity and that I need to realize that I am more then a number on the scale. She said I am a beautiful woman and have so much going for me. It has been a long time since anyone said something so wonderful to me! I have thought about her words many times over the last week and I am so grateful that she shared this with me! This make the long drive to her office and the co payments worth it.
I had a complete blood work up done and found out that my cholesterol is high, my blood sugar is borderline high and my Dr. put my back on High Blood pressure medicine. I was on it 4 years ago, but lost 70 lbs and my blood pressure returned to normal so was taken off the medication. Just goes to prove that obesity does have a negative effect on blood pressure. My iron and Thyroid are just fine. My Dr wanted to start me on medication for my cholesterol, but when I told him I was hoping to have Gastric bypass surgery he agreed to wait six months before putting me on the medicine. Hopefully I will have had the surgery by then and won’t need to go on any more drugs.
Monday I am going to attend my first images meeting. I am going to have my mom go with me; she is very nervous about the surgery and I am hoping this will help answer many of her questions.
I finally posted to the message board and for some reason I just felt instantly better. It seems to be a great group of people and they have a lot of wonderful advice to offer. I am working on finding a picture to put with my profile, but as I am sure many overweight people know I have very few pictures of myself because I don’t like to see what others see and try to deny how heavy I am. I read the book Before and After by Susan Leach and so many of my fears were put to rest. I am still a little afraid of the surgery but I think that is natural. I am more anxious to start this wonderful journey then I have ever been.
My brother and sister-in-law came over yesterday and I told them I was going to have the surgery and to my surprise they totally supported me. I have not shared this with very many people and in fact when I told my sister she was not very supportive. She wanted to tell me all the awful things that can happen and how your skin hangs ECT. I am so glad that there are people in my life who will support me and only want what’s best for me. As someone at the information meeting said “I do not want your opinions, only your support”. I have remembered that and I am sure I will say it over and over again!
That’s a short version of my journey so far. It really helps to write this, whether or not any one reads it or finds it very interesting. It has helped me to feel that I am making progress on this journey.
Wednesday June 22, 2005
WooHoo!!! Done with the Psych! She is going to write up her report which she assured me would be a very positive recommendation for me to have the surgery and it should be at the surgeon's office by the middle of July. Wish it would be sooner but that will give me some time to lose the 10 lbs pre op weight I have to lose.
Thursday June 23, 2005
I attended my first WLS images meeting in Elk River on Monday night, my husband and Mom went with me. I was so nervous and kept thinking everyone there is going to be so slim and I am so FAT! Well this was the best thing I have done so far. The group was absolutely wonderful. They made me feel so welcome and they actually centered the meeting around me, my husband and mom. They made me feel great! My mom is so nervous about me having this done and she now feels so much better about the whole process. She said that she doesn't need to worry so much with support like this. I just can't say enough about this wonderful, giving group of folks and hope I will get to know each of them through this journey.
Wednesday July 20, 2005
I started the Atkins diet on Sunday, it hasn't been too bad. I am getting a little bored with all the meat and I miss fruit! My husband actually started with me and this is his first "diet" he has ever done. He only needs to lose about 10 lbs so I am sure by the time the 14 days is done he will have lost that. Boy is he a baby! He misses potatoes and bread and caffeine! He whines and complains constantly. I called the surgeons office today and they still have not received the report from the psychologist. So I called the psychologist office and they said it would be faxed to the surgeon by Friday. Hopefully! It's been almost a month..what takes so long??? It’s such a hard thing to wait on others when you get so excited and want to move forward! I try to find the positive and I think Oh, that gives me some time to lose the pre op weight I have to lose.
Friday July 22, 2005
When I got to work this morning I had a message from the psychiatrist office it started by saying that that she was sorry but my report was not done. It usually takes 2 or 3 week to complete the report and they would have it done by the end of next week. To say the least I was a little upset. I took a couple of minutes and tried to calm down and then called them back. I explained that it had been a month and that I didn't want to rush them so it was not a thorough report but that my life seemed to be on hold while I wait on them to complete one report. To my amazement about a half an hour later I had a voice mail from the psychiatrist office saying they would have the report done by that afternoon. And they called me back at about 3:00 to say they had faxed the report! Yea!!!! I called the clinic and she said it takes them a while to go through the faxes so to call back on Tuesday. So hopefully things will start moving again! I am so excited and scared and hopefully and well just a bundle of emotions!!!
Tuesday August 2, 2005
Ok, things have not went so well. The surgeons office said they never got my Phsyc report. So I faxed it to them on Thursday of last week and called last night to verify they received it. They said they did but it would be a couple of weeks before the nurse looked it over and then called me. I got a little "snotty" and said well that is typical everything I have faxed has been lost and it has been a couple of weeks for everything by the time I refax it and then am told that you received it! Ooops probably not the best move on my part, but damned it is so irritating to have to rely on others and then to have things lost and all that I just couldn't help it. I feel like this is never going to happen!!!
Friday August 12, 2005
Finally!!! I have my teaching appointment on Tuesday. Seems like it took forever for the nurse to call!! I am not sure when they submit to Insurance and played phone tag with the nurse but then I called when I got home tonight and she is on vacation all next week. Oh well, I can ask on Tuesday. I am trying so hard to be patient but with my daughters due date being October 31st it's so hard. I would really like to have the surgery by the middle of September. The weight loss has not gone so good. I really need to start trying or I am not going to get approved for the surgery. I think its only 10 lbs what is so hard? I have lost that over a hundred times so why is this so hard? I think I just keep feeling like it's never going to happen so oh well. If I could reach I think I would kick myself!!!
Tuesday August 16, 2005
Had my teaching appointment today and to my relief it went really well. I brought everything with that I was asked to get together at my first appointment (Weight Watchers weigh in books, Medical records from when I had my Pseudotumor, letter of recommendation from the PCP and blood work). The nurse decided it would be good to include my medical records from 2 years ago with my recorded weight. I have a surgeon, Dr Johnson but that's about it. I called my old clinic when I got back to work and requested my records and had them faxed to me within a couple of hours. So hopefully by the first of next week everything will be submitted to Insurance. Cross your fingers here we go:)
Friday August 19, 2005
Oh my gosh!!! The surgeon's office just called and I am approved! I didn't even know they turned it in to the insurance. I am so excited and WOW! The first available appointment they had with Dr Johnson, the surgeon doing my surgery is August 30th. This means I have about 2 weeks to loose at least 5 pounds. I know I can do it!!!!
Tuesday August 30, 2005
I had my appointment with my surgeon, Dr Johnson, today. What a nice gentleman he is. He is so caring and energetic; he really made me feel good about my decision to have WLS. Dr Johnson asked me when I would like to have surgery. I said by the first of October at the latest as I my daughter is due with her first child the end of October and I want to be in the room during her labor and delivery. To my surprise he said ok well would September 12th work? To my shock..I just couldn't believe that they could get me in. So, the big day to start my new life is Monday September 12th. Less then two weeks away. I have so much to do with work and personal life but it's so worth it. I'm giddy I am so happy! :)
Friday September 9, 2005
I had my pre-op physical yesterday and it went very well. They had some problems (as usual) drawing blood. I have small veins and with the extra fat it's hard to hit one. After 4 pokes and a lot of digging they finally got it. Both arms are sore and bruised this morning but oh well that happens every time. I also have a sore throat and typical symptoms of a cold so I was put on a really strong antibiotic in addition to my vitamin C and Zinc routine I do to fight off the germs. My PCP is such a great guy; he is so supportive! At the clinic the receptionist asked me if I was nervous, which I replied no. I thought she was talking about the appointment but she was referring to the surgery. She had Gastric Bypass surgery two years ago! She looked great and said her only complaint was not doing it sooner, she is 50 and wishes she would have had it done in her 30's. She offered a lot of advice and welcomed me to call or come see her any time. So I found another angle, seems they are all around me I just never knew it! She did give me some really good advice. She said if people are negative or non- supportive not to worry about it because the people that love me will be there for me no matter what. So, that is how I am going to handle today, my last day at work before the surgery. If anyone asks why I am going to be out and they are negative Oh well no big loss they just don't care about me and I have plenty of friends and family that do! I have 3 days until surgery, I still don’t think it has sunk in, but that’s probably better because I am not as nervous. Happy days!
Sunday September 11, 2005
What an ominous date to type...I feel kind of selfish thinking about myself on such a sad date! The clear liquid diet has not been that bad, but the milk of mag was the worse! I couldn't go anywhere today because I had to stay close to the bathroom. I hope I am able to sleep some tonight but I doubt it. I think I am ready, just nervous. I promised my family that I would stay in the hospital until they said I could go home. I have had several surgeries in the past and I always beg to go home early. I just hate hospitals, but then who doesn't? I am going to have quite the crowd, my husband and daughter and her boyfriends, my parents and my in-laws. I have so many people that care about me I am so lucky! Well time to get ready for bed and hopefully catch some zzz's!
Saturday September 17, 2005
I finally feel like posting this. My surgery was on Monday morning. It went well according to my surgeon. He said there was a little delay because of the scar tissue from previous surgeries but everything went great! He is such a kind person; he wouldn't use the word problem but rather delay. I was released to go home on Tuesday evening at about 8:00 pm. My surgeon uses a pain pouch which is actually a line inserted under the skin that releases a pain control substance for 5 days, which allows patients to go home sooner. My husband took that out on Friday for me, it didn't hurt but felt funny. Things having been going fairly well, just more pain then I anticipated. I need to allow my body to heal and not over do it. I have been walking 2 times a day about 1/2 mile each walk. I do fine until we get about half way home and then the burning pain starts. I weighed this morning, I know I shouldn't have but I am down 10 lbs! That is so unreal! I feel skinnier, I know 10 lbs is a drop in the bucket for how much I need to lose but it makes me feel good! Well it hurts to type; I think cuz my boobs are so big that when I type I am squishing the incision site. Can't wait for the girls to shrink! I will try to update this with more details for those of you that have not had surgery yet. I will be honest the first couple of days I thought why in the He!! did I do this to myself, but as the days pass I am feeling it was the right decision for me. And I am sure by this time next week the doubt will be gone, or at least I hope so!
Monday September 26, 2005
I am feeling better each day. I went to my 1 week post op appt last Tuesday and told the surgeon I was having this pulling or catching sensation under my left rib cage. He was concerned it could be a blood clot so sent me to have a ct scan. Well after 5 long hours of waiting and problems getting the IV in (again), everything came back fine. They did say I have swollen lymph nodes and I need to have the CT scan repeated in 3 months but not to worry about it and it has nothing to do with the WLS. OK, easier said then done but will try my best. I have been walking an average of 1 to 1.5 miles each day. It gets easier everyday but sometimes the incision is so sore it takes a lot to get going. I have one more week of liquids and I can't wait to eat mush!!! I am starting to get bored at home and need to find some activities to do. I weighed this morning and thought I would be down more and got a little depressed but then I went and read a bunch of profiles and realized that I am being way too hard on myself! I am down 16 lbs. 16 LBS in 2 weeks that is awesome!
Tuesday October 18, 2005
I went to the Dr today and will be returning to work on Monday. I had to stop at JCPenny's on the way home and buy some smaller pants. I only bought 1 pair, so that gives me 4 pairs for work. I just don't want to spend the $$ if I can only wear them for a short time. I am having some issues with my emotions. I seem to be such a B!tch to my husband and then I feel so guilty. Yesterday on my walk I started crying. It came out of nowhere and I had a really hard time trying to control myself. So not only am I adjusting to the food situation but my emotions are going nuts! If I don't end up divorced at the end of this journey it will be a miracle. My husband must be a saint because I think if I were him I would tell me to get out! Otherwise I am feeling good and the weight is coming off, which feels really great. I am walking 5 to 7 times a week and can't wait to start some other types of exercise.
Tuesday December 6, 2006
What a wild ride this has been so far! Things have been going fairly well, but there are many adjustments that I have had to make and the main one is my thought process. I think a lot about food and that constant thought of failure is always there. I am trying to just concentrate on me and to not be too harsh on myself. Boy is that something new for this Miss Caregiver! I think my family has noticed and they are trying to adjust to all of the changes also. As of Monday I have lost 50 pounds, which puts me about half way to my goal. I am exercising 5 to 6 days a week, I was walking outside but it's just too cold now so I either do 30 minutes on the treadmill or one of my exercise tapes. I just love Richard Simmons; he's a real trip and makes me smile!
Friday December 9, 2005
Today is my 39th birthday and I took the day off from work, who wants to work on their birthday? Anways, I decided to cheat and weigh my this morning and I received the best birthday present...I am at 197.5! I am under 200, it has been a long time and it feels great. I stood at the scale naked and cried! Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to me!!!!!
Thursday January 12, 2006
Today marks my 4 month mark since having WLS. I have lost 62 lbs and feel great. I think my weight loss is a little slow, but when else have I lost 62 lbs in just 4 months? I had a bladder infection last week and think that I still have it, but I am waiting to hear back from the Dr about the test to see how they want to treat it. In doing some research there are others who have had multiple bladder infections since having WLS so I think the two are some how related. A very small price to pay for such a wonderful tool! I am in a size 16 pants and XL/1X top. I exercise 5 times a week and am amazed by the inches I have lost. There are times when the old habits try to creep back especially the late night snacking, but I fight it off and so far I have been good. I have not gotten sick from anything I have eaten but I have not tried candy or fried foods and don't plan on it for a long time. I would like to be down 80 lbs by my 6 months and know if I keep trying I will make it. The emotions have settled down and I just feel happy, which is such a great feeling! My hair has started to come out but it is not noticeable and I hope and prey that it stays that way! Here's to a happy, healthy and skinnier month!
Sunday February 12, 2006
Today is my 5 month mark since having WLS. I have lost almost 70 lbs and only have about 10 more lbs to lose to get to my personal goal, but if I want to get to a healthy BMI I have about 20 more to go. Think I will go for the 10 and then see how I feel and what I think I can accomplish. I have set huge weight goals for myself in the past and then when I can't get there I give up and I don't want that to happen this time. I measured today and have lost 46 inches which is totally amazing! This past month I only lost about 8 lbs but I lost 11 inches. I am so glad I started measuring otherwise I know I would be totally bummed by the slow weight loss. I exercise 5 days a week for 30 to 60 minutes and I think that really helps. I am feeling much better physically but mentally things are not going so well. I don't know if my marriage is going to survive, in the past my husband always decided what we were going to do and I no longer want to do what he wants to do. I just feel so angry with him. I am not sure why or where this anger is coming from and I try to get it under control but then there it is and I can't stand to be around him. He never compliments me or really talks to me and physical intimacy is defiantly not there. He goes to my support meetings and tries to be what he thinks I need but he never asks me what I need. I feel like we are more like siblings then a couple. Only time will tell, but if things don't start improving I don't know how much longer I will be able to survive in this relationship. Hopefully next month when I update this things will have improved. Here's to a healthy today!
Monday March 13, 2006
Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary. I have lost 75 pounds which is totally awesome! Compared to others it has been very slow but I try not to compare myself to others and to realize 75 pounds in 6 months is really cool! When I had surgery they asked what I thought a good weight for me would be and I said 170, so that means I only have 5 more to go but I would like to lose about 25 more. I have been really upping the exercise trying to tone up and I guess I am more concerned with how my body looks and how I feel then what the scale says (ok I try to be). I am going to Florida in 3 weeks with my husband and I am really trying to look good in shorts. Things are a little better for us I just think there are so many adjustments and changes that we are going through that it is hard on both of us. We are both committed to each other and our marriage so we just continue to try to work through the rocky times. Here's to a lot of exercise and hopefully new discoveries in the next month!
Sunday April 10, 2006
In two days it will be 7 months since my surgery. I have lost about 80 lbs and feel great. We just returned from a week in Orlando, Fl and it was great. I wore shorts and a bathing suite and didn't feel like a fat person that everyone was starring at. I felt so good about myself, I even let my husband take my picture and when I looked at them I was proud of how I looked. I can't wait for summer! My blood pressure is normal as long as I take my medication so I have resigned myself to accept the fact that I will need to stay on my medication for the rest of my life. That's ok, I know that I have done all I can and it's just one of those things. My marriage is a little better; we just will have to keep working at it. It reminds me of weight loss it's something that you have to enjoy but it takes a lot of work! Well that's it for now; hope it's another wonderful month!
Friday May 12, 2006
Today is my 8 month anniversary. I went back to the Dr for the constipation and was told I have Irritable bowl syndrome (IBS) with severe constipation. I was given a prescription for Zelnorm which helped for a couple of weeks but I am still in some discomfort. I am complimented daily and even called skinny! I have gone biking a few times and my tires don’t look flat, Life is wonderful! This is the best thing I have done for myself and I enjoy everyday. I am down 87.5 lbs and 54 inches.
Monday June 12, 2006
Today is my 9 months anniversary; I can’t believe it’s been 9 months! It seems so unreal that this is actually me sitting here typing this! I have 3 pounds to loose to have a normal BMI. that is just so cool! I am being treated for an ulcer and for the first time in months I am no longer in pain and I feel wonderful! I have the constipation under control, I use Benefiber every day and then take colace on Tuesdays and a vegetable based stool softener on Thursdays and that seems to be keeping me regular. Hopefully my colon will figure it out and I can quit taking the stool softeners.
My daughter has started the process of being approved for surgery. I am so excited for her; I want her to enjoy life and to be healthy. To be totally selfish I miss shopping with her! We both used to be plus size so we had a blast shopping together. Now she gets depressed if we go shopping together because I can shop in the “normal” sizes and she still has to shop in the plus sizes. We are still close but there is a distance between us and it is the weight. I told her I am not going to gain it back so we have one alternative and that is for her to lose it. She is so much like me it scares me at times and I know that if she doesn’t have the surgery and the gift of this wonderful tool she will have many years of being overweight and health problems in front of her. She is doing the one thing I regret; not waiting so long to have the surgery! I am so proud of her for taking this step and choosing to live her life to the fullest!
Life is good!
Monday July 10, 2006
10 Months have gone by since my surgery; every month I say I can’t believe it has been that long! I am feeling the best I have felt since having WLS. I am still on medication for the ulcer and will be for another week, but there is no pain. The constipation is no longer and issue. I am happy at my present weight but I would like to firm up some. Hopefully this fall I can get a Bowflex or something similar and really start lifting weights over the winter and this will help me firm up. If not I have always enjoyed lifting so I know it will make me feel good! I am enjoying doing so many things I can’t possible share everything, but the best is being able to sit on the floor and play with my beautiful Granddaughter. She is almost 9 months old and I can get down and play with her and then get up and not have to grunt and groan and roll over and pry myself up, it is a fantastic thing!!!! My daughter is about to have all her paperwork submitted to insurance for approval which is very exciting, I can't wait for her to start on this wonderful Journey and to enjoy life like I do. Until next month…..
Thursday July 27, 2006
I am scheduled for an endoscope tomorrow afternoon. I was really afraid but thanks to all my cyber friends on the MN OH board I am feeling much better about the whole thing. My stomach was hurting really bad and I just want to find out if it’s an ulcer or what the heck is wrong. Someone on the board had some serious problems from an ulcer because it was not diagnosed and I don't want to go through the same thing. I started back on the meds on Monday and today is the first day I have not woken up in complete pain. I even cried in the bathroom at work on Tuesday and that just is not worth it! Right now I think the worse part of the whole thing is nothing to eat or drink after midnight. The eating part is no big deal it’s the drinking part. The test isn't until 1:45 so that's a long time for this 100 oz a day person to not drink anything. Will update after the scope as to what they find and how the procedure goes.
Sunday July 30, 2006
I went in for the endoscopy on Friday and I was one of the lucky ones. I don't remember a thing, in fact I asked the nurse when they were going to start and she said we are already done! I do have an ulcer, it's not the worse they have seen but a good size. It's not in the pouch or stomach but in my small intestine. I am on meds for another 8 weeks, at the end of this round of medicine I will have been on meds for 4 months so hopefully it heals. They will do another scope at that time to make sure it has healed. I was told that this is an uncommon spot to have an ulcer and is hard to heal. Leave it to me to get something that is uncommon.
Thursday September 7, 2006
My 1 year anniversary is in 5 days; I can’t believe it, 1 year! My life is so much better then it was. I feel so good and I actually like myself, wow that is so weird to admit. It feels good to say that…I LIKE MYSELF! I like the people around me, I like my job, I like going in public, I like exercising, I just like everything so much more. I never realized that the negative thoughts I had about myself reflected on everything and everyone around me. I read somewhere that maybe the reason others are rude or disrespectful to someone may be because of the negative energy that person gives off and I think I finally see that there is some truth to this statement.
I have lost 99 lbs and 60 inches in the last year. I was a size 24/26 and I am now am a size 10/12. I have a new hairstyle and wear fun new clothes. I have discovered that bargain shopping at consignment stores and on clearance racks is way more fun then shopping at plus size clothing stores and paying outrageous prices for clothing. I have even been hit on by men; wow is that different and kind of cool. I have a ten month old granddaughter that I can keep up with and get on the floor and play with and actually get back up without rolling over and making all kinds of noises! I enjoy the reaction I get when I tell people that I am a grandmother and love it when people think my daughter is my sister!!
There have been some struggles along the way. I dump if I eat too fast or too much sugar, but my dumping is I have to take a nap right now and in about 30 minutes I am better. I have an ulcer that I have been on medication for about 5 months. I have been told it is in a rare spot and is hard to treat. I have been scoped because of the ulcer and will be scoped in about 2 weeks to see if it is gone. My marriage has had some challenges and I think that the new confidence in me is to thank, I mean that in a positive way. I thought because I was fat I didn’t have a say in the way my marriage was. I was so wrong, I do have a say and I do deserve a good marriage. We are both working at it and it is getting better. I found out what codependent means and that obesity is a disease. I am working on not being codependent and not taking on my husbands alcohol addiction but dealing with my food addiction and he is trying to deal with his addiction.
My precious daughter is in the process of getting her surgery date and I am so excited for her. I wish I would have done this years ago and for her to be taking charge of her disease at such a young age is so great! My daughter is my best friend and my weight loss has caused some strains between us. We used to love to shop together and laugh in the dressing rooms, I can’t wait to do that again! She is my sunshine and I want her to shine!
Thank you, all you wonderful MN OH people, without your support I don’t think this would have been such a successful year for me. I tell people about OH and they can’t understand how I can confide in group of people that I have never. I don’t try to explain it to them I just say “ain’t I lucky?” Bless each and every one of you and may you find peace in yourself and the world around you.
09/12/2005 250.0 Starting
10/10/2005 222.0 1 Month (-28.0 lbs/07.50 inches)
11/14/2005 208.0 2 Months (-42.0 lbs/11.00 inches)
12/12/2005 196.0 3 Months (-54.0 lbs/25.75 inches)
01/09/2006 188.0 4 Months (-62.0 lbs/34.75 inches)
02/13/2006 180.5 5 Months (-69.5 lbs/46.00 inches)
03/13/2006 175.0 6 Months (-75.0 lbs/47.25 inches)
04/10/2006 170.0 7 Months (-80.0 lbs)
05/15/2006 161.0 8 Months (-89.0 lbs/54.75 inches)
06/12/2006 157.5 9 Months (-92.5 lbs/56.25 inches)
07/10/2006 154.5 10 Months(-95.5 lbs)
08/14/2006 152.0 11 Months (-98 lbs/60.25 inches)
09/11/2006 151.0 12 Months (-99lbs)
10/16/2006 151.5 13 Months (-98.5 lbs)
This is me the night before surgery
Me at 8 months:
