arielared

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I have a long-term house guest.  I eat my stuff.  He eats his stuff.  Lately, however, I've had some of his "stuff", namely,  bean soup with some bits of beef or chicken and  with pasta.  This seems to have triggered a chain reaction.  I can't seem to get enough of the stuff.  Yes, it is, in fact, delicious, but, more than that, I think that the carbohydrate count is probably too high for my system thus causing an intense craving for huge quantities.  I'm cramming the stuff down my gullet even though I'm about ready to puke.  This is sick!  When I mentioned this to my friend, he said that he's noticed that he's much hungrier lately, as well.  We've both put on a couple of pounds since his mother's been sending us this soup, so I think that the connection is fairly obvious.  What's the solution?  What's a fatty to do?  DON'T EAT IT!  There, that was simple.  Now the question is whether or not I can ignore that delicious soup and just eat my salad while that malicious soup (probably laced with crack cocaine to make it addictive!) is calling me.  It is definitely easier to eat properly when one can control all the food in the house.  I applaud all my fellow fatties who have to resist the negative influences put their by their family members and friends.

I got another fill.  This time, Becky added .2 cc and believes that I am at just the right amount for the Realize band. 

Now, it's up to me to do the right thing.  No excuses. If I don't have success, then it's my own damned fault! 

Today, I put the pedometer on my skirt and will measure how many steps I take in my usual workday. It's now 2pm, and I've  only taken 1,736 steps.  The goal is 10,000!  I'd better get moving!!!!!  Hmmmmm, how far is 10,000 steps?  I think I'll need to bring sneakers to work, because it won't be comfortable to hustle my butt in pumps.  Actually, I really should do my walk in the morning, before my shower, so that I don't get icky during the day.  I was doing that for a short time, but I fell out of the routine.

My OH "friend" Rachel is an inspiration, because she's so highly motivated.  Thanks, Rach.

I am now up to 3 cc.   I will return in another two weeks for a further assessment.  This seems to be OK, but I might need/want a little more. We shall see.

I saw Dr. Neil on Wednesday.  I gained about two pounds, but I expected that, since I was in San Francisco a few weeks ago and ate with abandon.  I came back from the trip with considerably more than two pounds, I'm sure, but took off most of it by the time I saw Dr. Neil.  I got another fill, and now have 2.5cc of restriction.  The amount of fluid that he sucked out is higher than that, but the rest of it goes to replace the air that was in the band in the first place; he called it "negative" ...something.  At this past visit, I asked him for a larger fill, but he said that, if I wanted more, I could come back next week.  I fully expected to do so, but it seems that this amount is actually doing the trick.  I think we found our temporary "sweet spot", since I can't eat more than one cup of food.  That is the ideal.  

So, I kept a food journal.  Weighed, measured.  Brought the journal to the dietitian.  She pored over the journal.  "Well, it looks like you're doing everything right.  I have no suggestions for improving your diet."

One day, I lost three pounds ( several very productive potty visits).  The next day, the three pounds were back.

So, where does one go from there?

I walked at least one-half hour each day this past week.  No weight loss.  Damn it.

I'm meeting with "Dr. Neil" on Wednesday and will, presumably, get another fill.  If I'd had the RNY, as I had planned, I would be down by 50 pounds.    GROAN!  SIGH!  OY!

Clickherefor a variety of guidelines related to the AGB (adjustable gastric band) and WLS posted by a WLS dietitian.

Today, I met with my surgeon and his assistant.  We had a lengthy discussion, after which neither the doctor nor his assistant could properly account for my lack of weight loss.  They each gave me a pep talk and told me to keep doing what I'm doing, and, eventually, I will lose. He wants me back in two weeks instead of one month.  His assistant predicted that, when I return, I will have lost three pounds.  I made her a nickel bet on that.  I hope she wins.

I am so disheartened, and it is taking all my discipline not to go out on a binge....or at least as much of a binge as the band will allow. 

So, I got my second fill and now have 4cc.  Will it be enough? Who knows!

After getting stuck and staying stuck, I met with a different nutritionist/dietitian who spent 1.5 hours with me and made up a menu plan for me as well as giving me a sample menu.  Well, I cooked and planned and organized.  I weighed and measured and prepared individual portions.  One week later..........lost one-half of one pound!  Damn it! 

I want to give up.  Why am I bothering to weight and measure?  What is the point of all this attention to detail?  I need results!  

I'm getting a fill on Wednesday.  Will it make a difference?  I certainly hope so.  If it doesn't, I don't know what to do.  I've done nothing but whine for the past month, and I imagine people are tired of hearing it...I know that I am.  

I called the nutritionist on Monday and complained that I had gained three pounds and was stuck.  I asked if it was possible that I wasn't eating enough to keep my metabolism revved up.  She suspected that I was not eating enough (appx 500-600 calories) and suggested that I increase my consumption.  In the past three days I've lost three pounds!  Amazing.  

I met with the nutritionist on Wednesday and she advised me to eat every two hours.  Thereafter, I met with "Dr. Neil" and got my first fill of 3cc. I was shocked and paralyzed by the size of the needle, but it didn't hurt at all. 

I am now feeling a little more hopeful and eager to see the weight come off.

I gained three pounds.....OMG!!!        I've been depressed all weekend, furious with myself, feeling hopeless.  Although my doctor's assistant, Liz, warned me that I might gain weight when I started eating, I was not psychologically prepared for it.  I actually cried yesterday, and......as I sit here........am ready to start again.  Oh, boy. 

I'm usually the one dispensing the reasonable advice.  What would I tell someone else in this situation?  Keep a detailed food diary. Stay calm. Go for walks. Drink the appropriate amount of water.   Talk to the doctor/nutritionist.  OK, that sounds right.  I wish I had an experienced person to talk with face-to-face.  Emails and blog posts are fine, but looking into someone's eyes and listening to a caring voice is infintely better.  I wish there were a support group every week instead of on a monthly basis.  Ah, well........as my DH used to say, "This, too, shall pass."