Rebecca H.
17 Months ago...
Jan 14, 2008
It's been over a year since I've posted. It's been 17 months since surgery and my life has been a whirlwind ever since! There were some months that were very very difficult. And suprisingly enough they werent necessarily the first few months... actually so far the most difficult emotionally were the last 6 months. My friggin scale wouldnt MOVE!!! And it was pissing me off royally. I mean I've lost 80 pounds... and thats great! But I wasn't done yet with losing! Well through the fall and winter my goals changed. It went from lose, lose, lose.. to don't gain weight through the holidays. It was hard but I managed to actually make that scale MOVE!!! Somehow, by the grace of God I think... I managed to loose 5 poinds between Thanksgiving and New Years. But only in the last few days have I realized that I am still succeeding. In looking at the photos taken over the holidays can I see that while the number on the scale hasn't changed a great deal in the last 8 months or so but my BODY is changing!! Everything is shifting to where it is supposed to be. Well at least closer to where it is supposed to be, lol. I have had the most incredible transformation since surgery... not just externally but internally as well. I found my confidence and self esteem. I found the courage to establish my self worth and as a result started the New Year off with a fabulous new job, a wonderful new man and a future brighter than I would have thought possible 2 years ago. They say "Life begins at 40" and I couldnt' agree more!
Maintenance is my goal... I have not stepped on the scale since Jan 1and don't plan to anytime soon. I am finally happy with where I am. I can do everything I want to do and I feel great doing it. THAT is the measure of my success...
Maintenance is my goal... I have not stepped on the scale since Jan 1and don't plan to anytime soon. I am finally happy with where I am. I can do everything I want to do and I feel great doing it. THAT is the measure of my success...
Dating Again... YIKES!
Dec 19, 2006
Okay... so I'm down 65 pounds.. feeling better about myself.. life.. everything and decided to start dating again. So I have friends setting me up.. have started attending singles social functions at church.. posted a profile on Match.com and it finally happened... I went on my first date post op.
First I will say that I've always found dating to be ... well for lack of a better word.. TORTURE. I've always dreaded it... though once in a relationship I was great. This time around was very different. I had no hangups about posting my picture.. being outgoing.. even assertive at times. So last Saturday night I went on my first date with a man from Match. I wasn't nervous at all. No uncontrollable sweating... no wondering if he was gonna show up... or take one look and decide to leave. I had a level of confidence I didn't know I possessed. The date went really well... I kept waiting for something to go wrong.. but it didn't. The issue of diet and excercise came up and he told me he had recently lost 60 pounds.. so I decided it was safe to share my story. He was suprisingly ok with it. I half expected some criticism or disapproval but instead he asked intelligent questions and showed support. A second date is planned for after Christmas so I guess it was a great date after all.
I am at a standstill weight wise... I know exactly what it is... the damned snacking, not enough water and virtually no excercise. With the extended holiday work hours I have no time to go to the gym... and the difference is that I really WANT to go. I really have a desire to start running on the treadmill. I have not given up the goal of running in a marathon. My first goal of course is a 5 K or something more realistic than an all out marathon. I am not drinking enough water.... I'm drinking too much coffee and I am snacking too much. I cannot WAIT til the holidays are over. I havent gained since before Thanksgiving...or I should say I am back to where I was before Thanksgiving... and have not lost any more... but at least I havent put on any more pounds.
I found out yesterday that my insurance company will be changing next year... and that it's a good thing I had surgery when I did.. it is not an option with the new plan.. Thank God it worked out for me in 2006!!
First I will say that I've always found dating to be ... well for lack of a better word.. TORTURE. I've always dreaded it... though once in a relationship I was great. This time around was very different. I had no hangups about posting my picture.. being outgoing.. even assertive at times. So last Saturday night I went on my first date with a man from Match. I wasn't nervous at all. No uncontrollable sweating... no wondering if he was gonna show up... or take one look and decide to leave. I had a level of confidence I didn't know I possessed. The date went really well... I kept waiting for something to go wrong.. but it didn't. The issue of diet and excercise came up and he told me he had recently lost 60 pounds.. so I decided it was safe to share my story. He was suprisingly ok with it. I half expected some criticism or disapproval but instead he asked intelligent questions and showed support. A second date is planned for after Christmas so I guess it was a great date after all.
I am at a standstill weight wise... I know exactly what it is... the damned snacking, not enough water and virtually no excercise. With the extended holiday work hours I have no time to go to the gym... and the difference is that I really WANT to go. I really have a desire to start running on the treadmill. I have not given up the goal of running in a marathon. My first goal of course is a 5 K or something more realistic than an all out marathon. I am not drinking enough water.... I'm drinking too much coffee and I am snacking too much. I cannot WAIT til the holidays are over. I havent gained since before Thanksgiving...or I should say I am back to where I was before Thanksgiving... and have not lost any more... but at least I havent put on any more pounds.
I found out yesterday that my insurance company will be changing next year... and that it's a good thing I had surgery when I did.. it is not an option with the new plan.. Thank God it worked out for me in 2006!!
Back On Track!
Dec 04, 2006
Ok... so Thanksgiving really fouled me up.. The stuffing, pie, but mostly the salt. I gained a few pounds... mostly water. Well Starting Monday I was back on schedule. Drinking my gallons of water, eating my protein and avoiding carbs. I haven't yet been able to restart my excercise routine due to the work schedule. But I'm back to where I was pre Thanksgiving. Another week finds me eating a wider variety of food. This makes it much easier to satisfy my apetite and cravings. I went to my sisters house tonight and they had tacos... OMG I used to put away about 8 tacos... this was real comfort food. Well tonight I was able to do a Taco salad and it was so delicious.
I went to a going away party last night and had my first entire cocktail. Until now I had only had sips of wine or beer or whatever. Well I am a martini girl... pre op I could drink 2 martinis. Last night I had 1 martini.... and before I got through 1/2 the drink and I was buzzed big time! The strange thing is that about 1/2 hour after I finished my drink I was completely sober. I'd heard about this happening... but it was pretty bizarre to experience.
I just mad eanother trip to the second hand store again and picked up a couple of size 12 jeans. Unfortunately I am loosing my butt... well really its more like I'm loosing my hip curves.. so I actually have to wear the boy cut jeans or jr cut. Hopefully by next week I will still be loosing...
Til next time.
I went to a going away party last night and had my first entire cocktail. Until now I had only had sips of wine or beer or whatever. Well I am a martini girl... pre op I could drink 2 martinis. Last night I had 1 martini.... and before I got through 1/2 the drink and I was buzzed big time! The strange thing is that about 1/2 hour after I finished my drink I was completely sober. I'd heard about this happening... but it was pretty bizarre to experience.
I just mad eanother trip to the second hand store again and picked up a couple of size 12 jeans. Unfortunately I am loosing my butt... well really its more like I'm loosing my hip curves.. so I actually have to wear the boy cut jeans or jr cut. Hopefully by next week I will still be loosing...
Til next time.
Survived Thanksgiving (barely)
Nov 27, 2006
Thanksgiving was wonderful... and ROUGH all at the same time. I spent it with my Mom, sister and her family at thier house (as usual). The Thanksgiving feast was much smaller than usual. That made it easier for me actually. I allowed myself a bite of everything... turkey, yam, stuffing (yummmm), green beans and pumpkin pie. I did great that night! Then I continued to graze all weekend long. THAT was the mistake. The choices weren't bad... but I shouldn't have kept eating. I have gained 3 pounds in the last 5 days... mostly water I'm sure with the high salt content in the foods I've eaten. But it's Monday now and I am back to business.
One last confession: I've been terrible about having caffiene lately. I hadn't realized how much I'd been drinking until yesterday when I didn't have any.... and I got a headache.. and it wouldn't go away until I had some coffee today. So I am in the process of weaning myself off the caffeine AGAIN. I guess its back to the "tall non fat decaf sugar free vanilla latte"s for me. :::sigh:::
Everyday is a Great Day!
Nov 21, 2006
11/21/03 Well things are progressing along. The weight loss is slower... I am hitting more stalls but that is entirely my fault. I am discovering more foods that I can tolerate, some of which I have no business putting in my mouth. Thanksgiving will be a completely new experience for me this year. I don't know how I will stay away from the stuffing. I suspect I will have a bite or two and I expect it will make me very nauseaus.
I am down to 173 lbs. Only a 13 pound loss since almost 1 month ago... I don't know why I thought I should still be loosing much faster. That's not to say I'm disapointed, I'm not. But due to my work schedule (retail during the holidays is pure hell) I havent had any time to go to the gym. I was going to go tonight but got called in to work instead... ahhh the pull of the almighty dollar.
I am now in a size 12 jean (stretch)... and I just bought some t-shirts that were a "L" rather than an "XXL". In fact I had originally pulled an XL thinking that was the right size, and ended up having to exchange them.
As far as food goes, I'm able to eat a wider variety of food. My favorite is still steak (the more tender the better). But I recently had Leg of lamb and that went down well. I can do chicken thighs that have been slow cooking is sauce of some kind... so that it drops off the bone. Tuna is still hit and miss. I have discovered the refried pinto beans at Taco Bell... I can eat those... but you don't want to be around me later that same day. PHEW! Although I must say... the GAS problem I was having has subsided substantially. And my family is ever so grateful. LOL...
Okay.... confessional time. I tried some things I shouldn't have.... I nursed half a glass of beer last Friday night... over a period of about 2 hours. I never got the drunk feeling everyone talks about. But I was truly sipping it ever so slowly... and we had eaten prior. I have had a 3/4 of a chocolate chip cookie (homemade by a friend).. it was delicious... but it did give me that nauseaus feeling after I ate it. I had 2 Andes mints. I love those things... Okay before you scold me... this was over the period of the last month.... and that's pretty much it. OH... I was eating Sun Chips... but have recently discovered at Trader Joes they have a Chip made of Black Beans. It tastes a lot like Tortilla chips. I can have them with some homemade quacamole or salsa... one of my not so guilty pleasures. In fact I've been able to find healthier replacements for most of my sinful indulgences... well the ones regarding food anyway.. lol.
I am amazed at the changes... good and bad that my body is undergoing. My collarbone is more prominent. I am crossing my legs when I sit... only now I do it unconsciously.... I have entered the stage where I am loosing my hair. Handfulls at a time after I shower. And after I blow dry my hair there is an entirely new batch of it sitting in the sink. I am doing better in getting more protein so this should even out in a couple of months. I am completely off of the Beta Blocker and I was just told today by my PCP that I should half my blood pressure medicate since I've been getting dizzy lately. I may be able to be completely off the blood pressure meds soon.
BMI update 31.6
I am down to 173 lbs. Only a 13 pound loss since almost 1 month ago... I don't know why I thought I should still be loosing much faster. That's not to say I'm disapointed, I'm not. But due to my work schedule (retail during the holidays is pure hell) I havent had any time to go to the gym. I was going to go tonight but got called in to work instead... ahhh the pull of the almighty dollar.
I am now in a size 12 jean (stretch)... and I just bought some t-shirts that were a "L" rather than an "XXL". In fact I had originally pulled an XL thinking that was the right size, and ended up having to exchange them.
As far as food goes, I'm able to eat a wider variety of food. My favorite is still steak (the more tender the better). But I recently had Leg of lamb and that went down well. I can do chicken thighs that have been slow cooking is sauce of some kind... so that it drops off the bone. Tuna is still hit and miss. I have discovered the refried pinto beans at Taco Bell... I can eat those... but you don't want to be around me later that same day. PHEW! Although I must say... the GAS problem I was having has subsided substantially. And my family is ever so grateful. LOL...
Okay.... confessional time. I tried some things I shouldn't have.... I nursed half a glass of beer last Friday night... over a period of about 2 hours. I never got the drunk feeling everyone talks about. But I was truly sipping it ever so slowly... and we had eaten prior. I have had a 3/4 of a chocolate chip cookie (homemade by a friend).. it was delicious... but it did give me that nauseaus feeling after I ate it. I had 2 Andes mints. I love those things... Okay before you scold me... this was over the period of the last month.... and that's pretty much it. OH... I was eating Sun Chips... but have recently discovered at Trader Joes they have a Chip made of Black Beans. It tastes a lot like Tortilla chips. I can have them with some homemade quacamole or salsa... one of my not so guilty pleasures. In fact I've been able to find healthier replacements for most of my sinful indulgences... well the ones regarding food anyway.. lol.
I am amazed at the changes... good and bad that my body is undergoing. My collarbone is more prominent. I am crossing my legs when I sit... only now I do it unconsciously.... I have entered the stage where I am loosing my hair. Handfulls at a time after I shower. And after I blow dry my hair there is an entirely new batch of it sitting in the sink. I am doing better in getting more protein so this should even out in a couple of months. I am completely off of the Beta Blocker and I was just told today by my PCP that I should half my blood pressure medicate since I've been getting dizzy lately. I may be able to be completely off the blood pressure meds soon.
BMI update 31.6
10/23/06 BEEN SICK
Oct 23, 2006
I know.. I know.. I'm such a slacker when it comes to updating. I've been sick the last two weeks with sinus issues and not been at the computer all that much really. But I have lots to report! I am now at 184.5 pounds. Last week while on a break I decided to go into Macy's and try on some jeans to see what size I am actually wearing. I pulled a few sizes and went into a dressing room. Put on a pair without seeing which size they were... and they fit like a glove! When I looked, they were a size 14! I have to admit I did a "shaking da booty" dance in front of the mirrors. OMG.. pre surgery I was in 24's. I am now in what I consider to be a "NORMAL" size. Do you realize what this means?!?!?!?! I can now go to REGULAR stores and buy clothes! No more "Womens" stores. I no longer have to pay double price for the same items just because they are in larger sizes. I gave away most of my clothes a couple of weeks ago because they were no longer any use to me. I've punched extra holes in my belts, but the pants were still so big they looked like pajamas on me. I finally decided to go and buy a few things to get me through the next few months. I went to Value Village (sort of a second hand store) and found 3 pairs of jeans (sizes 12 and 14's) that fit. And for the price (4.99 - 6.99) I couldn't resist. I figure I will only be able to wear them for a few months anyway... so by spring I will need to go shopping again. Yesterday I went shopping with a friend to the outlet mall and it was such a surreal experience to be at stores like Banana Republic and Old Navy and actually be able to fit into things. I still can't quite get over it. The last time I was this size I would have to guess I was probably in Jr High.
I have discovered my collar bones! They have appeared! I was never sure I had any but I've found them!
BMI Update - 33.6 Life just gets better and better!
10/4/06 FOOD ISSUES
Well... I am at 193 lbs. now. I am loosing slower but still loosing so I am still very thrilled with my progress. I think part of the reason is that I'm not eating as much as I should. Anything I eat makes me uncomfortable. The only thing that goes down well is beef jerky and popcorn (which I should NOT be eating). I can still do really brothy soup, but that doesn't give me any protein. I still need to go buy protein powder but that is a money issue at this time. I am soooo tired of being afraid to eat anything! I had major issues last week with not getting enough water. My stin was so dry and itchy... even my eyes were affected. It caused me a great deal of pain because of sever constipation. I had to take drastic measures but I think I've finally resolved the issue.
I took a Turbo Kickboxing class on Monday and it worked my ass off! It was fun and I (mostly) kept up. I should have it down by the next class. Well that's mostly it for now. I will update more later! :)
OH! BMI Update!! At my highest weight my BMI was 43.1 (Extremely Obese) and now my BMI is 35.3 (Obese) WHOOO HOOO!!! I which I had taken measurements but my clothes are falling off of me so that is definitely an indication things are going in the right direction.
I took a Turbo Kickboxing class on Monday and it worked my ass off! It was fun and I (mostly) kept up. I should have it down by the next class. Well that's mostly it for now. I will update more later! :)
OH! BMI Update!! At my highest weight my BMI was 43.1 (Extremely Obese) and now my BMI is 35.3 (Obese) WHOOO HOOO!!! I which I had taken measurements but my clothes are falling off of me so that is definitely an indication things are going in the right direction.
9/25/06 ONEDERLAND
WOOOOOOHOOOO!! I did it!! I made it to ONEDERLAND! Today the scale said 198.6 and I couldn't be happier. I haven't seen the 100's in over 5 years. I am still in a bit of shock over it. I have had to fight the temptation to get on the scale several times today just to make sure my eyes weren't tricking me. I'm eating a bit better now. I went out to eat twice this weekend. We went to Trader Vic's on Friday night and I had the crab cakes..which didn't go down wo well.. but had a few bites of my sisters beef dish and that went down just great! Then last night was my mom's birthday and we went to a Mexican resteraunt (one of my favorite cuisines). I drooled over the nachos.. which is what I normally would have ordered... but ordered a beef appetizer instead. It was very tender and was served over bean sprouts and onions in a sort of teriyaki sauce.. strange for a Mexican resteraunt but it was delicious. I also ordered a side of black beans. Took most of the food home and had some of it for lunch today. A really cool moment for me was that I wore a shirt that I had bought a vew months back. I hadn't tried it on before buying it and when I got it home it was waaaaayyy too tight. I had put it aside to return it but never got around to it. I finally just decided to try it on yesterday along with a pair of jeans that I had outgrown years ago.. and viola'.. they FIT! And I acutally felt thin yesterday. THAT hasn't happened in well over 10 years. I am no longer shying away from pictures. I have been to the gym a few times and I've started doing Pilates at home with my DVD. I think it's a bit advanced but I am able to customize it so I am able to do it to the best of my ability. I have learned 2 things from Pilates so far. 1) those women in the video are freaks of nature. Bodies are NOT SUPPOSED to bend in those ways. People are not THAT flexible... are they part GUMBY?!?!? and 2) Pilates is not meant to be done on a hard wood floor. It's all a learning process.. There is so much more to write but my lunch hour is about over. More to come!
9/18/06 ANOTHER WOW MOMENT
Well I've lost 33 pounds so far and it's just over 4 weeks out. I feel great most of the time. Only 2 instances of dumping. I plan on doing everything I can to keep it at 2 and no more. I have had a couple more WOW moments this last week. First: My mother actually said she could tell I was loosing weight. This doesn't sound like much but if you knew my mother you would realize what an event this is. She is a fantastic mom and I wouldn't trade her for anything but when it came to weight she was never encouraging. Only disparaging (sp?). "You would be so pretty if you lost 25 pounds" or "Yes, you lost 25 pounds but if you work harder you can loose 10 more." and then... "Here I made a plate of fried chicken, eat up". Of course she says it all in love... but it's hard to take. Which makes her unadulterated praise that much sweeter!!! I was waiting for her to continue with.. "you have so much more to go" but it never did. Yay for me!
My second WOW moment was BEING ABLE TO CROSS MY LEGS!!! OMG... I'm sitting in church on Sunday listening to our guest speaker delivering a message on.. get this..."Overcoming Obstacles" (how uncannily appropriate was THAT?) I look down to see if I'd kicked over my water and I realized all of a sudden that my legs were crossed! How did that happen? I didn't remember having anyone assist me in hauling my left leg over the right one. I wasn't dripping sweat over the effort it took to keep it there. So when did this happen exactly...and how come nobody TOLD ME?!?!?! I have to be hones... a little confession if you will...I completely tuned out the speaker and spent the next few minutes crossing and uncrossing my legs. I half expected my sister to tell me to quit fidgeting... but heck no.. I had to make sure I could do this again. I have noticed that the height of the seat makes a difference. I just need to figure out how to sneak into the church to measure the seats so I can have all the seats in my house and work adjusted accordingly.
I also joined the gym.. dunno if I mentioned that already.. I am looking forward to taking the classes. I am interested in Pilates for core strength straining, turbo kickboxing and lol.. yes... "Aerobic Strip Tease". Hey it will come in handy one day. Til next time...
My second WOW moment was BEING ABLE TO CROSS MY LEGS!!! OMG... I'm sitting in church on Sunday listening to our guest speaker delivering a message on.. get this..."Overcoming Obstacles" (how uncannily appropriate was THAT?) I look down to see if I'd kicked over my water and I realized all of a sudden that my legs were crossed! How did that happen? I didn't remember having anyone assist me in hauling my left leg over the right one. I wasn't dripping sweat over the effort it took to keep it there. So when did this happen exactly...and how come nobody TOLD ME?!?!?! I have to be hones... a little confession if you will...I completely tuned out the speaker and spent the next few minutes crossing and uncrossing my legs. I half expected my sister to tell me to quit fidgeting... but heck no.. I had to make sure I could do this again. I have noticed that the height of the seat makes a difference. I just need to figure out how to sneak into the church to measure the seats so I can have all the seats in my house and work adjusted accordingly.
I also joined the gym.. dunno if I mentioned that already.. I am looking forward to taking the classes. I am interested in Pilates for core strength straining, turbo kickboxing and lol.. yes... "Aerobic Strip Tease". Hey it will come in handy one day. Til next time...
9/12/06 WOW MOMENTS
I have a couple of WOW moments to share! I FOUND MY ANKLES!!!!! They had disappeared for awhile but the are back now! AND EVEN BETTER.... I no longer get overheated at the drop of a hat! In fact I have actually been COLD several times in the last week. I haven't had to use my mini fan at work and haven't had to freeze the other girls out at the Boutique at night. I can't wait to see what's next!!
About Me
Kirkland, WA
Location
29.4
BMI
Surgery
08/18/2006
Surgery Date
Feb 16, 2006
Member Since
