BethB
2-28-06
Well, I've been inspired by my friend "Kayla" to start posting and tracking my life changing journey. I'm four months and one day out and this will be my first update. I'm down 63 pounds at my last weigh in. I only get on the scale every couple of weeks. So far it's been quite a little roller coaster ride physically and mostly mentally. I had a rough start with some severe allergic reactions to most protein shakes (including one hospital trip) until I found Profect protein drinks. Struggled with nauseau in the beginning and fatigue due to not being able to find a protein I could tolerate until about five weeks out. But mostly it's been pretty easy considering having my insides totally rerouted. The mental journey has had it's tough moments but I try to take it day by day and not focus on the weight loss as much as the life-long journey and taking this golden opportunity during the first six months to change my eating habits. I stick to the plan pretty well but also realize that this is a life-long journey that I need to make work for me. I've learned so much from my support meetings, mostly from my peers like the fact that we need some good fats in our diets (like avocado) to keep things moving all the way through. Boy when I received that little gem of a tip my life became quite a bit more comfortable. :-) I received that tip from Toni T - thanks Toni. I've recently become an unofficial angel to "Kayla" which has been an incredible experience for me. Not only have I made a wonderful new friend but she has inspired me in ways I can't even explain. I love being able to help someone in their journey also and she helps me in mine by making me look back at how far I've come in four short months. I also need to mention how great my husband and kids have been. I know my husband has had second thoughts about this surgery at moments (like my hospital trip for my allergic reaction after watching me throw up and dry heave for six hours) but he's never been negative and always been my biggest supporter and number one fan. I know that WLS can been tough on some marriages but it's actually made mine even stronger. Well, that's my journey so far and I can't have wished for anything better. I feel so incredibly blessed in every area of my life right now! 
5/4/06
Well, I went to my six month checkup today and have lost a total of 85 pounds. Also, my blood levels all checked out great. I'm so stoked. So far my weight loss has been pretty steady and doesn't seem to be slowing down so I'm hoping to reach my personal goal in the next two months. My biggest worry is not getting too thin since I still can't eat a lot of different foods or much as far as quantity goes. I'm just trying to live my new life and not focus too much on how much I weigh (which gets easier and easier to do as the months pass). This has been an incredible journey and I am so happy with my decision. Having WLS has been an incredibly freeing experience. I'm no longer a slave to food. I don't wake up in the morning wondering what diet I can start today and I don't go to bed each night feeling horrible about myself because I once again didn't stick to my diet. I'm so glad to be free of "diets" and living my new life. And what a learning experience. Not having food to turn to during times of stress has helped me learn so much about myself and how to deal with my emotions instead of just stuffing them down with food. Life is good!
6/27/06
For the first time I'm getting obsessed with the scale and reaching goal, I guess because I'm getting so close. In the past I've always just focused on living my life and not "dieting" or weighing in every day. I have to work on getting my head back on straight, obsessing is not a fun place to be. I'm also freaking out about seeing pictures of myself. The person in the picture looks thin to me but I absolutely don't see that person in the mirror no matter how hard I try. Not being able to reconcile the two images is really messing with my head.
8/19/06
Well, as always it's been a long time since I updated. I hit the 100 pound mark sometime between 8 and 9 months. Since I try not to weigh in all the time I'm not sure exactly when. It was more meaningful to me than I thought it would be. My next milestone will, of course, be hitting goal weight which is only five pounds away. I'm not sure if that's the right weight for me or not. I count on my husband and teenage son to tell me if I'm getting too thin since I still can't see myself correctly in the mirror. My friends started telling me to stop losing weight about 20 pounds ago but I think that's just because they were used to me being big. My size fours are getting too big so I know that I'm pretty small but obviously I had/have a pretty small frame under all that weight since I still weigh 130 pounds. Life is very busy but good right now. My older son will be turning 16 soon and my little one will be starting kindergarten the end of the month. Once school starts it seems like the holidays are right around the corner. We love Halloween in our house and decorate almost as much for it as Christmas. I'll try to post again when I reach goal, maybe even get some before and after pictures posted. Special thanks to my friend "Kayla" for being my motivator and inspiration in this incredible journey. I don't know how I would have done it emotionally and mentally without her always being there to listen and share with. She has done so incredible in her journey and has the BEST attitude of anyone I know. Thanks "Kayla"!!!
GOAL!!
10/10/06
Well, I finally officially made goal. I had been stuck at 126 for what seemed like forever. I don't know why that number represented so much to me when I was only one pound away but I guess it just seems like I've succeeded now. As challenging as it was to go through this journey and lose all this weight I know I still have a difficut journey ahead of me maintaining my weightloss and staying healthy. Wish me luck!!
One Year!!
10/27/06
Happy Surgiversary to me!! It's been one year since my life-changing surgery. Wow, what a ride!! I've lost 112 pounds (I currently weigh 123) since surgery and now wear a size 2. Last year at this time I was waking up in my room wondering what the hell I had done to myself - feeling pretty darn sick. After two days of severe nausea things were much better and best of all I got to go home. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I feel so lucky to have this tool and so far be successful. I didn't expect this day to mean as much as it does to me. I guess I've been so busy trying to live my life that I haven't sat down and thought about how my life has changed. I was talking to my brother on the phone yesterday (who also has a weight problem) about the changes that have taken place. I no longer wake up in the morning thinking about what diet I'm going to start or go to sleep at night feeling like a failure. I don't hide out at home because I'm too embarrassed to go out in public. No matter how successful I was in every other part of my life I still felt like a failure because of my weight. Alas, my mind has not caught up with my body yet and I do have some body dysmorphia issues but I'm working through them. I have panic attacks when I go shopping and didn't realize why until my friend Kayla enlightened me (she does the same thing). It's because I feel like people are staring and laughing at me when I'm looking at the size 2 clothing. What is that fat girl doing looking at those small sizes - as if! Too funny. I still struggle with many foods and still can't eat very much but it's improving. It's amazing how differently this surgery affects each of us. I can't imagine making it through this past year without the support of my wonderful family. My husband and teenage son have been amazing - always encouraging me and being supportive even when I was having bad food reactions on vacations or trips to Disneyland. LOL! I also couldn't have made it through without my friend Kayla to share all my crazy irrational thoughts with. I always knew she would understand or at least not laugh at me (too much). I truly don't know what I would have done without her. Her incredible success has given me such motivation and her great attitude and honesty have been such an inspiration to me. Her profile is great and will inspire anyone. My one year appointment is next week and I'm hoping to have good lab results once again (six and nine month were great). Now it's time to start the next part of my journey - maintenance. Until next week.
11/3/06
I had my one year recheck yesterday and everything went well. I was 124 on the doctor's scale with my clothes on which surprised me. I don't weigh myself everyday so I didn't know I had lost another pound (122 on my home scale now). All my labs look great which is always a relief but I am religious about my vitamins, protein supplements, and water. Still need to work on eating more but at least I make sure I get in the really important things every single day. The doctor was very pleased with everything and I had my "after" pictures taken (I still hate to have my picture taken). I need to work on getting before and after pictures posted on my profile soon. That's all for now. Back to living my wonderful busy life now.
