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I have been overweight most of my teenage life and all of my adult life. However, I have lost the same 60 lbs. over and over again. I have been on a waiting list for over 6 months with a doctor in Buffalo, NY for the lapband surgery and decided I'm done waiting. I called Hamot Medical Center on a Monday and had an appointment on Thursday of the same week. I now have all of my tests scheduled and then I will just have to wait on my insurance. I'm so excited about the future.

2/2/05 BMI 40 I stopped in at Hamot today and all of my tests have been received. The nurse in charge of Insurance will now go over my paperwork and now I just sit, waiting and waiting for the phone to ring. When I am at work I can barely concentrate on the schedule because until I have this surgery it is the only thing I can think about. With that being said, I'll wait patiently...

2/8/05 APPROVED! Wow that was quick.... Friday my paperwork went to the insurance company and I called Monday. A very pleasant woman, Susan, asked me to call today. I did and she said I was approved. I called my Doctor's Office and I already have a date of February 21st. This is a great week for me because my children don't have school. This means I can go and have the surgery and not worry about my husband home scrambling to get all the kids off to school. I meet with my doctor tomorrow to sign the consent forms for surgery. YEAH!!!

2/19/05 Tomorrow morning I wake up to an all liquid diet and life as I will come to know as my own. I'm trying to be good today because I'm not really looking forward to the bowel prep. I don't even care what I have to go through to get to Monday morning... I'd walk through fire.

2/25/05 I'm home, a little pain still but who the heck cares. I have half of my staples out so I will go in on Monday and get the rest out. Anyone looking to have the surgery, I say yes there is pain. Ask for more pain meds if you still feel it. And as soon as you can walk, walk, walk,.... I truly believe that is why I feel so good now. Going in the scale was 222 lb.s For the first week 7 lb. loss.

3/4/05 I have been doing very well. Celebrated my 39th birthday on 3/2. Made my kids a chocolate cake to celebrate. I don't particularly love chocolate cake but it was very easy to just enjoy myself with not caring about food.
Last night my husband and I purchased a trip to Orlando, Florida for the week of July 4 th. Whew Whew can't wait...
I don't know where my weight will be but I know it will be lower!!

3/8/05 Everything is good with me. I have been getting in all of my protein and tomorrow I go see the doctor for my check up. I will then get cleared for exercising. My husband brought the treadmill up three stories to our bedroom so I could exercise, very sweet. All of my tape came off and my scar doesn't look too bad for only two weeks out. I'm trying not to get too impatient with my weight loss since I have lost 22lbs. but sometimes it is easy to be. That is absolutely the reason I have always failed with diets in the past. Too Impatient... It's All Good!

3/12/05 Just celebrated my middle sons birthday, big 13 year old. He didn't want a cake so instead he got a big round chocolate chip cookie instead. Luckily, chocolate chip cookies have never been my favorite. I'm still not craving anything anyways. I bought some power crunch bars off the internet with 14 grams of protein and they are pretty good. My weight was 196 lbs. this morning.

3/23/05 Still weighing the same. My body is still on hiatus. I'm still doing everything the way I should so I'm sure when it is time the scale will start moving again. Had quite a day yesterday at the foodshow. All in all the day was boring but I thought I would take a few bites of a stuffed pepper. It went down fine and then wouldn't budge. I ended up going in to the bathroom and getting a little sick. It didn't bother me and I felt fine afterwards. Again I say it was a great lesson to learn.191

4/3/05 Scale finally moving. Woke up to snow.... I hate snow.
Took a two hour nap on this boring Sunday. It hasn't stopped snowing all day. This week it is supposed to be in the 50's. 190

4/23/05 The weather has been so beautiful I've enjoyed it so much. I have to be away for my foodshow and I'm a little concerned about being gone and not in my food element. I hope it goes smoothly. I was going to bring my spanish rice but the sencond day I went to have it the darn thing wouldn't stay down. Right now I am having prime rib and acorn squash and it is delicious. My scale has started going down, that is always good. 186 BMI 34. No longer qualify for WLS!

4/28/05 Just got back from my Foodshow last night. It was three days of working hard and standing way too long on my feet. I did pretty good with my eating, funny thing is ordering out and the portion sizes. I ordered a steak quesadilla and ate one little triangle. I automatically got a box to take it home but realized it would not last in my hotel room so I ditched it. The girl I was with made quite a few comments about my new eating habits and sometimes was crude. I didn't comment back since she has recently gained 50 lbs. and I'm sure not feeling very good about herself. I did try an awesome sundae and then threw it out. I think that gets more attention from people than acutally eating it because they see a fat person and they assume she's gonna finish it. I personally just wanted to taste. I will continue to be successful as long as I just taste. Oh well I have to go make cookies for my daughters Rock-A-Thon tomorrow.

5/11/05 - 178 lbs. Yeah! Just got back from support group (people are so funny, different, odd) I guess that is what makes the world go around.

6/3/05 Where does the time go? Everything is going well. TGIF
It is raining and I have to get back to work.

6/18/05 Having trouble getting NOVA to pay for the Anesthesiologists office because they were out of network. What doesn't make sense is that they paid all of the nurse and half of the doctor. My bill is $600 remaining. If I have to pay it I will but it doesn't make sense. The only reason I know they are denying it is because my friend JoAnn got her denial letter today and she had the same surgery the same day. I feel bad for her because her bill was $1200. She read me the denial but it was hard to understand their reasoning. Whatever the surgery price it was worth it and I consider $600 a small price to pay;.
My hair has started to fall out but it is really only in the morning. I just brush it really good in the morning and then try to catch the extra strands during the day. My weight was slow for three weeks but now has started to move again. Even when the scale isn't moving the inches of fat around my waist and butt keep disappearing. Ain't life grand?????

7/9/05 Got back from Florida yesterday. That long flight was a killer. I didn't go bathroom for the whole week. That is a long time to be eating with no output. I hate the thought of my body taking all the calories,fat, and carbs from all the food I ate. I walked so much I'm sure I built some muscle. I came back to a 2 lb. gain but I won't worry about it since I'm sure I'll have a bigger loss next week. My clothes are all fitting looser and I was able to keep up with my children. That is the real important stuff.

7/13/05 Weight is coming back off again. I feel so much better and my clothes are starting to be much looser. I can fit into 12's pretty good. At this point my goal is an 8 but I'll take anything at this point.

7/17/05 Finally put the Ab Lounger together now I just have to make time to use it. I already can see a waist forming. I actually have muscles in my abdomen area as I lose the weight. It will be great to see the end result. I doubt I would qualify for any type of plastic surgery but I'd love to have something done with my inner thighs. Oh and my chest too. They have gotton much smaller as I've grown older and had children, but they've lowered too. Not such a pretty sight. I don't care about the size but I'd like to have them up where they belong.

7/23/05 Today was a good day. I did have a little problem in the morning when we went out to breakfast. I stop eating the minute I get full but this is the second time I've come home feeling as if I'm going to throw up. I laid on the couch for about 10 minutes and then went out and helped my husband stain the deck. I can't believe my BMI is 29.9 to me that is the best part of the day. What a great accomplishment. I really want "have" to kick up my exercising. This is the first time though that I've lost weight without exercising so it is easy to get lazy. Not that staining the deck in 90 degree heat is lazy.

8/4/05 I've been exercising more and feeling pretty good. I've been thinking about putting my photo on the site but I think I'll wait until I reach goal. I had my husband take a picture of me yesterday for my journal. When I showed a woman at work she said I was beautiful... She then said you were beautiful before, but now you are really beautiful...

8/14/05 I lost 3 lbs. last week not too shabby. I do notice I have very scheduled periods but still get cramps. I always stay the same the week of my period but than the next week I can lose up to 5 lbs. I'm pretty much past my plateau but I'll usually lose .5 lb. no matter what.
It is hard for me not to show how excited I am about this new change. People can be too harsh on those who are too happy.

8/22/05 Scales starting to move again. I noticed that my BMI is 29.1 that means I have a few more pounds to get in to the 28's. I'd like to be at a BMI of 24 (I think) I never have been there so I'm guessing. I have been starting all my meals with protein and a salad. I'm sure that has a great deal to do with the scale moving. I have also been exercising a lot more. Yesterday I ran 10 minutes and walked 10 and then did the Ab lounger. Then later I walked with my husband. Tonight I ran 15 minutes and walked 10 and then did the Ab lounger. I really enjoy running on the treadmill with the cd "Antigone Rising". I never thought I'd love to run. I am just starting out so I'm no where near ready to run outside yet.

9/3/05 Last night right before my phone meeting with Monica from Obesity Help - I dumped. It was 9:00 p.m. and my phone call was at 10:00 p.m. I can't really tell you what made me sick but my heart started racing and I felt nauseous. I had just got done saying at a WLS support group I "never" get chased to the bathroom when I dump. WRONG! All I could picture was having to do the Chapter Leader training from the bathroom. But good news I was good to go when the call went through.
Again tonight after eating dinner I started to get the same feelings and had to lay down. Luckily not like last night. I'll just have to be very careful of my intake.
I talked with a woman tonight at a football game who commented on my weight loss and how wonderful I looked. It was as if she wasn't even talking to me. I automatically blurt out I had surgery. Why do I do that? I'm not ashamed and actually proud of my success and decision to have the surgery, I'm just not sure why I tell anyone who talks to me about my weight loss. As if I have to say "this isn't like all the other times I've lost the weight" (And gained it back) "this time is for keeps".

9/17/05 We had the support group with a WLS Doctor the other night, I thought it went awesome. We had 56 people, some who already had the surgery and others who were looking in to it.; There was one woman who comes to support group for support only (not pre-op or a patient:) and she was somewhat a pain in the butt. She took up a lot of time asking questions and making comments that were not in the interest of everyone. There are some people who like to hear their own voicesl. God Bless those People... God help me to be patient. All in all the weight loss is going good and there might be some changes in my future. I'll know more Monday. I hate to write too much cause you never know who is reading who could know someone I know.
***No changes to my life *sigh* It is a good thing I like the life I'm in!

10/09/05 Wow it is amazing - going from a BMI of 40.0 to 28.3 and it is still moving. It is the weirdest things that I dump on. The other day it was the bite of a twinkie. I don't even like twinkies. I'm glad I don't have the desire to try one again.

10/11/05 Sometimes I see myself and I look thin and other times I see my big butt and thighs. I wonder when they will look normal to me?

10/14/05 I just realized that I have only 20 more pounds to be "normal". It almost seems obtainable!!

10/16/05 I bought a pair of 11/12 jeans at a consignment shop the other day. I really liked how they fit so I went to "Maurices" to find another pair. Me being short, I had trouble with the regular length. As it was I cut the bottom off 3 inches and they are still long.
Anyways, I asked the girl at the desk when I could find some shorter lengths and explained that I bough mine at a consignment shop. She asked me which one and I told her. She said those were HER jeans. I looked at this girl who I would describe as "normal weight" and said I don't think these were yours because you are thin and I'm wearing these jeans. She thanked me for the compliment and looked at my jeans and said those were mine. All of the 11/12 and 10 jeans from Maurices are mine because we have to always stay in style and this way I can earn some money back on the clothes I have to wear. Needless to say I left on cloud nine because I would have never expected to wear the same size as her. I have a size 10 skirt and 10 pair of jeans I've been wearing but I guess I told myself it was a fluke. Silly Me.

FUTURE COMMENTS
Just got my profile done. I think she did a great job.

FUTURE COMMENTS
10/29/05 My foodshows are finally over and I can get some rest and start to be more consciencious of what I am eating. I've continued to lose but I just snacked all day at the shows instead of planning my eating. I can't believe how I am able to stay in control at the foodshows and not eat everything in sight like the good old days. I actually am getting smaller... As in petite....

FUTURE COMMENTS
Haven't been eating much lately.

FUTURE COMMENTS
11/12/05 My appetite is back! I am eating all the beef from some beef stroganoff I ordered. There was so much my son even ate until he was full. I've had a restful Saturday at home but I am so tired. My husband is tired too so I think it will be an early night. The weather has been so beautiful maybe it is the cold briskness of the day. Every Saturday my husband and I go to Tim Hortons for breakfast before the kids wake up and enjoy some time alone. We have a great time.Today we went and picked up some pictures of the kids we had taken at Sam's Club and they turned out awesome. They'll make some great christmas cards. Thats all.

FUTURE COMMENTS
o.k.no more beef from the beef stoganoff. UGHHH... That did not agree with me at all. I even went to bed early and I finally stopped feeling yucky. Finally getting to sleep at 12:00 a.m. my husband's work called to see if he wanted to come in on another shift. The answer is no but that didn't allow me to get back to sleep for another 2 hours. I took a two hour nap so I guess it all evens out.

FUTURE COMMENTS
11/25/05 Had a great peaceful Thanksgiving. Wasn't really able to eat with the family but no one seemed to notice. I did get in my protein and even had a little piece of pumpkin pie. Got a great pair of size 9 Tommy Hilfiger jeans. I think when they get too big I will really know I've made it. Received my book: How to lose the last 30 lbs. It isn't as great as I thought it would be.

FUTURE COMMENTS
11/27/05 Dr. Ali is coming this Wednesday to our Support Group, I hope everything goes well. There has already been two ads in the paper. I only hope people get the newspaper.

I have a Christmas party to go to with my husband... What to wear?! I tried a couple of outfits on but I'd like to at least look smokin'. I went to the mall but I couldn't find anything I liked. Things were either too "old" looking or too "young" looking. I need something in between.

FUTURE COMMENTS

12/20/05 I wore a great outfit I found at my favorite consignment shop. I'll have to add the picture.

It is odd how I still see the chunky me. I need to get over that. Someone suggested I try hypnosis.

FUTURE COMMENTS

1/18/06 So much going on.... Just celebrated our 17th Wedding Anniversary. He is such a wonderful person. I believe that now I am happy with myself it is so much easier to be happy with him and our marriage. My husband and I joined the "Biggest Winner" at the YMCA and we have been going 3 times a week... This is only the first week but the Director has set a goal for me to be able to run their 2 mile run on July 4th. I'm really psyched. I was able run for about 8 out of the 20 minutes. Not all consecutively but those minutes add up. I did better when I watched t.v. and kept my mind off of the actual run.

FUTURE COMMENTS

1/29/06 2nd week of working out at the YMCA and I love it. My muscles are getting tighter. I've actually been thinking of getting my thighs worked on when all is said and done. I have a nice shape to them but there is a gob of fat around the back side. I don't know if I could get approved but I've seen others get surgery so maybe there is a possibility. I attended a Leaders Support Group with Dr. Carauna's Synergy group. It was very impressive to see such a wonderful establishment.

FUTURE COMMENTS
06/13/06 Where doe the time go? I can't believe I haven't posted in six months. My weight loss has slowed traumatically but that is o.k. I haven't been able to exercise at the gym as much because my husband and I have been re-doing the whole downstairs. When we are finished all the walls will have been painted, the bathroom in the back is now and the floord all new laminate. I'm so please with all of it. Exhausted but pleased. Next week we are doing my daughter's room over and patching up some cracks in the old plaster and lathe. and then we should be good to go.

FUTURE COMMENTS
7/3/06 Not much going on here. I took off a couple of days for July 4th to take a break with my family. I had to laugh today. My kids have a trampoline in the back yard and I went on it for the first time. I never wanted to go on it 90 lbs. ago. I thought myself to be in pretty good shape but that 5 minutes I was on it was tiring. Acutally very good exercise but I'll stick to walking. I'd like to run outside but I'm afraid it can't be a very pretty sight.
I've set a goal for myself. I am going to lose 10 lbs. more and then I am going to call a plastic surgeon about my thighs. They are the one thing that I still don't love. But if it doesn't life is still grand.

FUTURE COMMENTS
4/11/07 Wow where does the time go?  It has been almost a year since I've posted.  The support group is going well.  I really enjoy meeting with so many people that all "get" eachother...  We all understand what the other has been through and we are all happy for eachother.  
I joined the gym across the street.  I absolutely love it.  I don't love the sore muscles but I'm hoping that goes away.  It won't if I don't keep the motivation going.  It is so easy to become too busy.  I've been trying to get up early to leave myself  enough to not feel rushed.  My weight has been staying steady and I thought by some good hard work I could lose some inches and possibly get myself to goal.  If I don't I'm o.k. with that because I might just need some good toning.