bttngl
www.myspace.com/ziggidypoo
Now then, I started several times towards WLS, however one time, I failed a preliminary test and was considered to high of a risk. Another time, insurance problems.
Here I am, NOW, 52 yrs old, BMI of about 63, and ALL of my doctors are PUSHING me to have the WLS because as one doctor said - "there is no risk for you - you are going to die anyway without it!!!".
I've been mulling over and researching and keeping an eye on WLS since about 2002. My first active attempt towards attaining it was in 2003, but heartfelt did not want it.
NOW??? I have a fabulous companion who chose me when I was 250# and lookin' good and he has stayed with me for almost 6 yrs and helps me now to bathe, dress, does all household chores, makes me laugh, when my faith is low - his is strong for me. He says I would be selfish to give up and just die now without at least giving this an earnest attempt so we can LIVE again a healthy fun life - instead of just existing. Plus, my adult children and I are building bridges of peace and want me to live, as well as other family members. My mother was against WLS and made me promise not to do it - she died at 81 yrs old almost 2 months ago and my daddy says if this will save my life - go for it - he says I am his "life-line" and he's a minister of the gospel!!
Plus, we have a cat and I saved her life when she was abandoned at birth, covered in fire-ants and fleas, and later had a tumor and had to have surgery to save her life - she looks to me as the only Mama she has ever had - yes - she is an animal - however - if I would do all of that so a critter could live a long and happy and healthy life - aren't I worth more. (my myspace site is called "ziggidypoo" after what we call her when she goes wild and runs and jumps and is so energetic and happy - Well, I want to REALLY be Ziggidypoo - and run and jump and ride horses and swim and have fun and even walk to the bathroom without a walker and without crying in pain!!)
Living daily with all of my ailments and in constant nerve pain - it is like hell on earth - yet, this is me - I still go around trying to make other people happy and laugh and still praise God that it currently is only pain in my one thigh (lumbar radiculopathy) and not both legs and not the whole leg and on my worst days I gotta find SOMETHING to praise the Lord for - or else I'd just lay down and die!!!
I'm not suicidal by any means, but, not scared of death either. It, to me, is just walking through a door to "HOME".
However - I don't reckon God is done with this goofy, loving, non-perfect, sensitive lady who can't stand lots of noise and uproar and yelling - just want to live in peace and tranquility with all people.
We live in an Assisted Living Facility that NOW has been also licensed as a limited mental health facility - sheesh - the cops and EMTs are here every day. That's why Carey and I stay in our room with Popsie, the TV, the PC, the phone, and our own life together and have made a ROOM into the equal of a STUDIO APT. with bright silk flowers and music, and all sorts of decorations - our HOME on earth!!! We both only have PTSD/ANXiETY - both from abuse, and he from the Gulf War, and me also from rape, and both from many other things. Nightmares, flash-backs, etc. are not cool-beans, dude!!
For us, this place is like a mansion - so fabulous compared to our former lives - we are both disabled - except the food - tons of starches!!
I used to smoke cigarettes but every time I quit I would gain 50# and keep it on, and in my younger days I gained a lot in pregnancy and kept it on.
In family background - obesity in kinfolk that I have not had any contact with - so it was not the environmental factors.
That's enough for now. Lunch time - lol!!
