Cathy...Hi it's Pam from Boise, Idaho. Guess what!!!03/03/03 is also my surgery date. I am scheduled LAP RNY, but have not received the formal approval from...you guessed it CIGNA PPO! They have received my file, as of last Thursday, the 6th, but it is still in the review status. I have been having the same emotions as you. I am married and have a 9 year old son that I adore more than anything in the world. I don't want him to be without him mom. I know that at 318 pounds at 5'5", and always on the sidelines, he does not get "all that I could offer him" either. I have a family history of comorbidities such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc., so getting the weight off is the goal. I do not know if you are religious at all, but the number three represents "The Father, Son, & Holy Spirit", so 03/03/03, could not be a better day to have this surgery as far as spiritual "strength" goes. Cathy...keep your eye on the prize. Keep your eye on the prize. Keep your eye on the prize. There, I said it three times. The prize being your health, and another 15-20 years added to your life. God Bless you. Pam B in Boise, Idaho