Cbrown20850
I was never overweight growing up, but I always thought I was fat. am 5'11" and always maintained my weight between 145 and 165. I started gaining weight in my 20's after being raped at 18 and I believe I was just trying to cover up my body so that no one would want me. I suffer from the disease of addiction and when I decided to get into recovery, my addiction switched to food and shopping. I have the shopping under control and have had 2 long years of intensive therapy to deal with the rape and other issues of my past. I know I am ready to start losing the weight, but I get so down on myself sometimes that I don't know where to begin. I never finish things that I start. My best friend in the whole world has recently gone through the bypass procedure and she is doing great. I have always admired and respected her and she has been such an inspirtion to me. I see how happy she is with the desicion she has made and it has really helped to put my fears about having the procedure done to rest. I have 2 children and want to be around for a long time to enjoy them. I am a mere shell of the person I used to be. I am always tired and never have any ambition to do anything. My knees and hips hurt all of the time due to my weight and I don't get to interact with my children like I want to. I love life to the fullest and want to be able to enjoy it for a long time to come. I am so grateful for all that God has brought me through in my life and I truly believe he will see me through this also.
