Charlotte P.

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I can hardly believe it has been an entire year!

I have fallen quite short of my goal, but I am very pleased with what I have accomplished in the year.  I've lost 45 pounds altogether and have dropped from a size 20 to a 12.   I have more energy.  I look better.  I feel better.  More importantly, I feel better about myself. 

I imagine that if I had been aggressive with implementing a regular exercise routine I would have seen agreater weight loss.  On the positive side, my loss has been slow and steady, averaging 1-2 pounds per week, which has been easy on my body and skin.  My goal now is to simply continue the weight loss at whatever pace until I am finished. 

My doctor has in mind that I need to lose another 10 pounds.  My original personal goal would require me to lose an additional 35 pounds, which I'm beginning to think would be too much.  I feel content with how I look right now, but feel that I would be better if I were to go down one or two more sizes.  So I'll keep at it and see what more I am able to achieve. 

My stats have not changed since my last post.  I'm due for a fill in another week.  I have not had a fill since July....it seems my weight loss has slowed quite a bit since then.  

LOL...I had such a fantastic day of self esteem yesterday!

I bought some suede boots (with the faux fur of course) and I wanted to wear them with my jeans tucked in.  Because I'm still losing weight I've made a consciencious effort not to buy too many new clothes.  (I'm waiting until I reach my goal to go shopping like crazy.)  Anyway, my jeans were a size 14, but I had continued to wear them anyway ("saggy chic"), but to tuck those jeans into my new boots would have been a fashion crime.  So, I hit the stores looking for a new pair. 

I have never been so excited in all of my life as I was when I picked out four pairs of jeans...all by the urban designers whose clothes I've been dying to wear...all size 11/12...AND...to my elation, they all fit me.  What?  You mean I get to choose from amongst several garments that I liked on the first try?  What is this feeling?  I've never felt it before while shopping for clothes!

Later that night I went shopping for a Halloween costume to wear to a party.  I didn't know what I wanted to be.  But, I did know that I wanted to be sexy.  It turns out I found an "adult" Little Red Riding Hood costume on the rack.  The package said "adult 10-12."  I tried it...it FIT and it was SEXY!  By the time I got home even my husband noticed I was floating on cloud nine!  What a day!

Ok, ok....all of these experiences yesterday prompted me to gather my stats, which I hadn't done in several months.  I really felt my weight loss had tapered off and I was not monitoring my measurements any longer, only my weight.   So, today I hopped on the scale and grabbed my yellow tape measure.  Here's the goods for this month:

Weight- 170.8

Bust- 40
Waist- 34
Hips-42

Size- 11/12 


When I looked back to my intial post before surgery for comparison, this is what I found:

Bust- 47
Waist- 40
Hips- 49

Weight- 218

Size 18

LapBand Surgery is one of the best, most informed decisions I've ever made for myself!

I got a small fill today.  Dr. Carter mentioned he wanted to see me lose another 20 pounds, which is less of a total weight loss than I had set out to accomplish.  If I lose another 20 pounds I would still be overweight, so I'm not sure that I agree with him at this point. 

I opted to say nothing and wait to see what happens.   I guess I'll keep plugging away at the weight loss and see what I look and feel like 20 pounds from now!

Ok, so I’ll make this one a quickie…wouldn't want to exhaust too much effort!   

Boot Camp was killer! I’ve never worked so hard in my life to lose ONE pound on the scale…LOL Yep, ONE pound! I must admit I was discouraged by the lack of progress shown on the scale, but the measuring tape didn’t lie.  My body did change over the course of that one month and I was most impressed with my improved fitness. By the end of the course I jogged a mile in 11:18!  

So, I’m learning to embrace that slow and steady wins the race.  I’m losing at a rate of 1 pound per week. This sets my ability to obtain my goal weight back by several months.  If I continue to lose at a minimum of this rate, I’m looking at a full year after surgery before reaching goal, but I’m ok with that.  

In the meantime, I’ve joined a fitness club and am better motivated to exercise.   


Current official stats:  

Bust- 41
Waist- 35
Hips- 44 

Weight- 177.6 
Size – 14 (They are roomy…maybe I’ll try on a 12 soon)

Today marks my 5 month bandiversary.  I’ve lost 30 pounds and lots of inches!    While this process has been an adjustment, it has not been too difficult or more than I can bear.   I struggled initially with finding the desire/motivation to exercise, but I am on a roll now. I’ve just completed my first week of bootcamp. I’ve managed to wake each morning by 5:00 and attend a grueling workout each day until 6:30. Most of the week I felt bad about myself for being so obviously more out of shape than the other women at the camp, but not yesterday!  I walked away from camp yesterday morning feeling fantastic about myself and my achievements. I made it through a whole week of camp. The soreness that had set in at the beginning of the week had mostly subsided and I was on the move!  Yesterday was our fitness assessment day…when data was collected for comparison before/after camp. 

I had been dreading the timed mile run. The last time I “ran” a mile it took me more than 15 minutes and I was the last one in the group to finish. To my embarrassment that day, although in support of me, the others who had already finished several minutes before me were all cheering my name assuring me that I could “do it.” I refer to that day as my “biggest loser moment.”   Yesterday, I did not have a biggest loser moment. I did not finish last, not even next to last.  I set a goal of 12 minutes (keeping in mind I’m grossly out of shape) and I did it in 12:03! I walked away from camp with my self esteem in tact…in fact I’m still soaring!  

Ha!

I've just noticed that my BMI has gone below 30.0 and I am now classified as overweight rather than obese.

Boot camp begins May 4th....I'm registered and committed to the process. 

I know it's gonna kick my butt, but I can't wait to see the results!

Unmotivated sums it all up...

I just came back from having my 3rd fill today.  It's a pretty tight fill... eating should be interesting tomorrow!  Can't wait to see how that goes.   Despite the suckiest month ever (dad died) Dr. Carter said I managed to lose my minimal monthly goal of 5 pounds.  I was out of town most of the month, with no food scale and ate out at restaraunts and fast food joints on many occasions.  However, I was very thoughtful about my choices and portions.  To my surprise, I even bypassed the garlic bread sticks at the Olive Garden...now that is something I have NEVER EVER done before!

I've been feeling blah....sometimes I'm not hungry at all and I force myself to eat and other times I am famished and have to force myself to stop eating…

I've gotten out of my routine habits the last two weeks... i.e. vitamins, food log...and of course, I'm still not exercising.

I feel greatly overwhelmed by my work…I can’t seem to finish my never-ending task list.  So, I negotiate with myself the idea that I don't have time to exercise....convienient considering I don't LIKE to exercise.  Bottom line, I know I'm going to have to  force myself to MAKE time for exercise because it is something that is good for me…especially since it is not something that is enjoyable to me.  

Current stats:  

Weight- 190.3 (- 24 lbs since surgery)
Bust- 43
Waist- 36
Hips- 45

(I'm pleased...that's a loss of 4 inches in each area)  

Size- I’m sporting a “saggy-chic” 16 right now. I can get into a 14, but it is NOT pretty! So, I’ll spare the public from that disgrace…

My father passed away last night.  He struggled at first to let go, but in the end was peaceful and died in my mother’s arms, clinging to a cross in one hand and holding my hand with the other.  

I am heartbroken by the idea of never seeing or touching my father again, but, am so glad that he will no longer suffer.  His was an 11-year decline as day by day Alzheimer’s Disease robbed us of a bit of him each day until there was nothing left. My father was 69 years old.  

I’ve never seen anyone die before.  I am haunted by those last few moments and his last breath.  I can’t seem to get them out of my head. I hope that God will heal this wound of mine quickly.  I do not want to hurt like this. 

I had my second fill two days ago.  Everything went well.  It was done under flouro which made it very interesting to watch the rate the barrium swallow flowed before and after the fill.  What a big difference.

Not to mention, I sure can I FEEL the difference!  I am not uncomfortable or anything, but I have definitely had to make adjustments to the mechanics of my eating....it's time to get back to the basics and practice eating properly as I was doing just after surgery.  Somehow in healing over the past few months, I had relaxed a bit with respect to bite size and chewing. 

This second fill has taught me that I'll have to straighten up my act.  I took a bite of my breakfast this morning, chewed, and swallowed and had the strangest rumbling....it felt as if the food wasn't going to go down.  In fact, I thought it was going to come back up.  I waited about 2 minutes and the sensation went away (no vomitting, etc.).  Then, I resumed eating...SLOWLY!  I've also observed that I need to take in smaller quantities as I'm drinking as well.  It feels like water is pooling and then funneling through.  Note to self:  SLOW down!