christina1341
i was once someones lil whiskey girl.....i will be again lol
Oct 04, 2007
oct 3rd 2007
Oct 03, 2007
well i had my first out of six appt needed for insurance approval with my pcp......and it went well.......very good actually....
He prescribed chantix for the smoking and prozac for the depression and synthroid for the thyroid.......and we talked about exercise and calories etc....so all in all it went well...and he is very supportive......very supportive......would prefer if i went to pittsburgh.....but is ok with kane.
i am still the same weight i was in 2004 so i didn't gain but i didn't lose i can maintain i guess lol.......oh lovely....lmao.
well i haven't posted much lately about ME...i have been supper depressed but i think its between the now ex boyfriend and life in general...
i have cried and bawled and carried on like a idiot and he bothered me last thursday n friday....which made me hurt like it just happened all over again.....i wanted to die....just climb deeper in my hole and die....he hurt me so deeply that it made my already insecure self feel even worse....OMFG...
now what i want to come out of my heartbreak is.....to learn how not to trust so blindly.......to not believe every damn word that comes at me.....and finally to ultimately get back my childlike quality to trust again.....and be just as trusting as i was before him......thats what makes me special .....AND I LIKE IT.
ok enough is enough....have a great day any who read this....xxoo to the future losers myself included.
christina
He prescribed chantix for the smoking and prozac for the depression and synthroid for the thyroid.......and we talked about exercise and calories etc....so all in all it went well...and he is very supportive......very supportive......would prefer if i went to pittsburgh.....but is ok with kane.
i am still the same weight i was in 2004 so i didn't gain but i didn't lose i can maintain i guess lol.......oh lovely....lmao.
well i haven't posted much lately about ME...i have been supper depressed but i think its between the now ex boyfriend and life in general...
i have cried and bawled and carried on like a idiot and he bothered me last thursday n friday....which made me hurt like it just happened all over again.....i wanted to die....just climb deeper in my hole and die....he hurt me so deeply that it made my already insecure self feel even worse....OMFG...
now what i want to come out of my heartbreak is.....to learn how not to trust so blindly.......to not believe every damn word that comes at me.....and finally to ultimately get back my childlike quality to trust again.....and be just as trusting as i was before him......thats what makes me special .....AND I LIKE IT.
ok enough is enough....have a great day any who read this....xxoo to the future losers myself included.
christina
sept 19th 2007
Sep 18, 2007
well i am back.....alot has changed over the last few days......two days ago i discovered my sweet boyfriend is not so sweet......i caught him cheating on me......he had made a promise to me for a year......no woman would ever come between us....and over the last week i felt like something was wrong.......you know girls that lil voice that nags at us that something is going on but what we don't know........last week i asked him point blank if he was talking to another woman he screamed in my faceeeeeeee no he wasn't.......but as you can see he had been ......he even spent this whole past sunday with her....told me he was with his bro in law watching football.....IMAGINE THAT.....
I am very upset but i dont' think for the reasons i should be........i am more upset because i let him decide my self worth........if he thought i was beautiful i was......etc.....and this kind of rejection just made me feel all the more ugly n fat and disgusting.........but i am seeing in only a few days.......i lost myself when i met him......i changed to be what he needed......and he was so insecure he needed to control me and change me from a happy outgoing girl to a house mouse with no friends.......NEVER again.......so maybe he did me a favor right?
well......in a few months time i may start to feel that way.....right now.....i just wanna cry.....get it all out.......and move the fluck on.......
ok next subject.......even as upset as i was and didn't wanna get out of bed yesterday i made myself........and i had my surgical consult with Dr. simon in kane pa. it was a all afternoon process and i am approved for the surgery......i just have to do six months supervised dieting with my pcp......and only a few test......my health is good but that wouldn't last at this weight........a wonderful nurse named cindy did my weight n height etc.......and took pics of me a front and a SIDE VIEW......omg you can't hide anything from the side can you????? lol.
the doctor explained everything in detail......STRESSED the fact this is a serious surgery and you can die.......he hasn't lost anyone yet......but he makes very sure you understand EVERYTHING......
now to get a psychological eval.....and see my pcp for a few months and then some ulta sounds and blood work a ekg and i am ready.......so i am looking at march as D day.......and i become a loser offically.........LOL soooo when my now ex bf would put up the loser face in a private box at me i shouldn't get angry lol........cuz i am gonna be lol.........thanks for listening and reading my saga.......and if anyone can relate ......i am a great listener and would love to make new friends
I am very upset but i dont' think for the reasons i should be........i am more upset because i let him decide my self worth........if he thought i was beautiful i was......etc.....and this kind of rejection just made me feel all the more ugly n fat and disgusting.........but i am seeing in only a few days.......i lost myself when i met him......i changed to be what he needed......and he was so insecure he needed to control me and change me from a happy outgoing girl to a house mouse with no friends.......NEVER again.......so maybe he did me a favor right?
well......in a few months time i may start to feel that way.....right now.....i just wanna cry.....get it all out.......and move the fluck on.......
ok next subject.......even as upset as i was and didn't wanna get out of bed yesterday i made myself........and i had my surgical consult with Dr. simon in kane pa. it was a all afternoon process and i am approved for the surgery......i just have to do six months supervised dieting with my pcp......and only a few test......my health is good but that wouldn't last at this weight........a wonderful nurse named cindy did my weight n height etc.......and took pics of me a front and a SIDE VIEW......omg you can't hide anything from the side can you????? lol.
the doctor explained everything in detail......STRESSED the fact this is a serious surgery and you can die.......he hasn't lost anyone yet......but he makes very sure you understand EVERYTHING......
now to get a psychological eval.....and see my pcp for a few months and then some ulta sounds and blood work a ekg and i am ready.......so i am looking at march as D day.......and i become a loser offically.........LOL soooo when my now ex bf would put up the loser face in a private box at me i shouldn't get angry lol........cuz i am gonna be lol.........thanks for listening and reading my saga.......and if anyone can relate ......i am a great listener and would love to make new friends
Sept 6th 2007
Sep 06, 2007
well.....today starts the journey for me. i called and scheduled a consult for the surgery for sept 18th. From what i was told by a very nice woman on the phone yes my insurance covers this but the six months waiting game is what i have to do for them....six months of medically supervised weight loss. *ummm* i have been doing that for YEARS now LOL. ok enough sarcasim. So i am looking at around march of next year for the surgery which is fine...that time shall fly i am sure...it always does.
i am so sure that this is the best decision for me....i am 310 lbs as of last night...5'8 according my doctor ..i say taller but who am i lol. so yes i am a great canidate for this....AMAZING FOR ONCE i am perfect for something lol imagine that?
ok enough for today.......i think i am gonna just do some more looking at before and after pics and wait for the day i add mine.
christina
i am so sure that this is the best decision for me....i am 310 lbs as of last night...5'8 according my doctor ..i say taller but who am i lol. so yes i am a great canidate for this....AMAZING FOR ONCE i am perfect for something lol imagine that?
ok enough for today.......i think i am gonna just do some more looking at before and after pics and wait for the day i add mine.
christina
