Cjames3259

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While the scales is not budging much, have noticed things in my life are getting easier and better.  Passanger seat belt in best friends car is simple to put on now, used to struggle.

Picking things up from off the ground is easier.  Back is not hurting like it used to.

Took kids to Jimmy's diner the other night.  Had 1/2 a cheafs salad- vs what I used to have, fried mushrooms, a ruben with fries.  Wow getting in and out of their booth was easy to night.  Used to struggle to get in and out and Teri my 6 year old always wants in and out alot to run to the bathroom.  I was amazed and relieved.  I used to feel like a whale trying to get in and out, stomach was tight and getting over the ridge in the booth seat was a real struggle and took my breath away.  Was always so embarassed and trying to avoid people seeing me getting out of the seat.  This time I got out with ease.  Such a small thing was a real boost to me since the scale has only gone down 3lbs in 3 weeks.

Had my first fill today.  Was easy and fast.  Stomach feels a little fuller with meals.  Really trying to eat alot of protein.  Bought a new grill tonight so I can start grill lots of fish and other stuff.  Need to exercise more and count my calories.  As I work alot of late nights I am having midnight munchies.  Gotta get this under control.
 

April 4th, the 1st day of fully liquids and seem to be doing ok.  Reading some Q&A's reminded me I need to take my vitimins.  When I look at how I was eating compared to the small intake I have now, I know I will loose weight, am doing some walking , but not much, as tummy still sore.  Will start walking more after the 8th which will be 1 week out of surgery.
I know I have a long uphill battle, but I keep reminding myself this cost me 17,000$ and I want to keep up with my kids.
I will learn to eat to live, rather than live to eat.

Well I am almost their.  At midnight I start clear fluids, then NPO until after surgery.  Am both excited and scared.   Scared, mainly as this to me is like buying a new care or a new house and I am taking on another 479$ bill per month for 5 years.
But I look at it as adding years to my life to spend with my children.  It is an investment in my life.

March 23, 2009

Well my lapband is scheduled for March 31st.   I am excited and afraid.  I don't fear the surgery so much as I do all the changes I will need to make to make my new tool work.  I have read so may question and answer, some very hopeful, and some very frightening.  I currently weigh 305 pounds.  Most people say don't expect to loose it over night as you did not gain it over night.  Which is so true, but the last time I weighed less than 200lbs I was 12 years old, and I am now 56.  So it does in a way feel like I woke up fat or gained it overnight.  I am taking out a loan for this surgery.  Its like another car payment for another 5 years, 469$ a month.  But I am looking at it as an investment in my life and my childrens lives.  Currently I work 2 part time jobs, and neither offer insurance.  And because of my size I have been unable to find an affordable insurance.

A little about me.  I am a single parent with 10 adopted special needs children ranging in age 6 years to 28 years.  3 of my children are technology dependent and I do have some in home nursing care for them.  My other 7 kids are slight mental retardation, fetal alchol, cocain and meth babies, and shaken baby syndrome.  Needless to say we have a house full of love going on here.   I want to be around to continue protecting them, and giving them the love and support they need.  In total I have had 14 children, my birth daughter was a still born over 30 years ago.  Then I had to have a hysterectomy and God sent me kids another way. 3 of my other adopted children died of natural causes due to their disibilities, the last just 3 months ago at a16 months.  All my children are gifts from God and I feel truly blessed by them all.

So they are my motivators.  I need to learn to eat to live and not live to eat.