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I was wrong about the old pants. Just looked in the closet again and saw that those weren't the smallest pair. I thought they were, but they're not. Those ones I probably wore when I was 130lbs lighter so maybe that's in my reach? I can hope. The smaller pair is 2 sizes smaller.

I have so many clothes in different sizes...while I'm in the hospital my fiance and aunt might organize them by size for me...kind of like my own boutique.  :-P

So today I call my mom. I say hi, she asks what I'm doing. I tell her I'm on the computer. Keep in mind she has no idea about my surgery...with good reason!...and she tells me I need to get off the computer because "you'll never lose all that weight on the computer". Thanks mom. Comments like that and the tone it was said in really makes me feel good. That's my mom though.

Someone on the main forum posted about goal outfits and it reminded me of my pair of jeans I had stuffed in the closet from many, many years ago and many lbs ago. I believe 160lbs ago. I put a pic with a current pair of jeans behind them in my pictures for people to see. I don't think it shows how small they really are though. I nearly died when I held them up. I would love to fit in them again, even if they were tight, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Like I said that was many, many years ago and right now I couldn't even imagine losing enough weight to fit into them. They're fun to look at though. I was big all my childhood years then in high school I started losing weight. That's when those jeans fit. Once I hit college the weight came back and never stopped and here I am today.

Tomorrow I sign consent forms. Can't wait!

I got my approval and surgery date today. Instead of the month or so wait I thought I'd have I go in for surgery June 1st. I was shocked to say the least. A few weeks from now?! I've been preparing for a while now so that's good. This is all just so crazy to me. I was filled with so many emotions when I got off the phone. Mostly excitement, but there was a little bit of fear in there too. I know I'm doing what's best and what will help save my life. Just have to keep telling myself that!

I got my cpap machine yesterday. I'm at a pressure of 15. I hear that's on the higher side, but whatever. I took a little nap with it yesterday and was fine then slept with it tonight. I just got 4 hours. That's good because if I don't get 4 hours a night for the next 31-62 days my insurance won't pay for the machine. Plus I'm sure that's the mandatory time for the surgeon too. I really didn't think it would be that hard, but it's harder than I thought. If I use the ramp setting I do fine air wise. By the time it's at 15 I'm completely used to it...I think my problem is getting comfortable and finding positions that don't make my mask leak or move. I'm exhausted right now and I'm considering putting it back on to try to go back to sleep, but I have to wake up at 7am and it's already 5:20. I think another issue I'm having is the pressure to fall asleep. Like I know I have to sleep so there seems to be more pressure than just laying down and hoping to fall asleep. Anyone with cpap machines please feel free to give me tips!!!

So after months of hiding behind cartoon avatars I decided to put a real picture up. I'm very paranoid about putting stuff like that out on the web, but I like seeing who everyone is here and figured I'd let people see me too. Once I get approved for surgery I have a set of before pics I'm going to put up and then after surgery I'll keep updating like most people do.

Could this week go any slower btw? I've never been this impatient I swear! lol. I can't wait to hear back from my insurance!

After a long day of phone calls I finally got the paperwork the insurance coordinator needed to send my file to insurance!! I called everyone under the sun who may have had a copy of that paper too so she literally probably has 4-6 of them now lol. She said she hopes to know something by the end of this week, but I'll give her til next week and the phone calls from me will start again. Got to stay on top of these things! This all may become a reality!

Called the insurance coordinator today and still waiting to hear back. My primary care doc appt went really well!! They have the form the surgeon's office is waiting on and said they would fax it over too so she's got to have it by now. Anyway, my blood sugar has gone down so has my A1C so I won't need insulin like they thought I would last time I was there! Lost about 6lbs from the last time I was there and with my triglycerides going down my doc was a very happy man. He's concerned about my liver, but is lowering some meds to see if that helps. If not we have to get more aggressive.

I'll be updating when I hear back from the surgeon's office!

Eleven days has passed and nothing has changed. My surgeon's office was supposed to get my cpap paperwork Friday and everyone else who was supposed to get it did, but them. Now I wait til morning and call and see if they got it over the weekend. Now I'm also paranoid that the insurance coordinator may have left out some requirements and I'm going to be screwed. We'll see...when I call about the paperwork for the cpap I'm going to question her about everything else. Once they get that cpap paperwork in their hands I'll be submitted to insurance.

I've still been doing well weight wise. My blood sugar has been going down a bit too. I had some blood work done at the beginning of the month and unfortunately my liver enzymes are getting worse. I think it's from the cholesterol meds they put me on to lower my triglycerides personally. My cholesterol has been normal, it's just the triglycerides were an outrageous 500. Now they're down to 226, but my liver seems to be suffering for it. I have an appt today (Monday) to go over the results so I guess we'll see what the next step is in these never ending health problems.

Long time no post. I guess I was losing hope in the process and also not feeling too much support here on the forums since I'm a very early preop. I just felt like you get more replies and attention when you are a post op. Now that I'm really close to surgery I'm coming on here more again.

I had some family issues come up in March and part of April so I didn't do much of anything surgery wise. I stuck with my diet though and have been losing weight! Not much at all, but it's better than gaining in my book. Yesterday I did my cpap titration, yes I have sleep apnea, and it went really well. I actually slept through the whole night with the machine on and had no problems wearing it or getting used to it. Hopefully the doc will have my final results by the end of next week or early the week after and once the insurance woman has that she said she will submit for approval. EEEK! I'm like jumping up and down inside and scared out of my mind!!! It's sooooooooo close now. Unreal almost. I'm still trying not to get my hopes up though because it hasn't been approved yet, but my doctors have been saying they see nothing that should hold me back.

I keep thinking about how my life could be by the end of the summer, what it could be like at Christmas time. Just imagining a healthier me. I've been reading about so many people on here and seeing how much weight they've lost and how much time, etc. I know everyone's different, but if I can do as well as some of the people on here I'll be so happy. I know it won't happen overnight though.

I did all my physical testing this week. Minor problem...couldn't sleep at all during my sleep study. No one told me I was able to get a sleeping pill so I'm crossing my fingers that I dosed off enough to be able to get results and not have to redo it. I'm pretty sure I have sleep apnea so I know if that's the case I'll have to go back for my machine so I definitely don't want to do my first visit over. The longer this takes the longer I wait for surgery. I'm so close I don't want anything to hold me up!

There's a preop group session March 4 and my dad and fiance are joining me at it. This is my first preop one so it should be interesting. I have another nut appt this week coming up too.

All this waiting is driving me crazy! I always knew I wasn't the most patient person, but I didn't realize how bad I was until now lol.