comedychick1
Liquid diet - day 5
Nov 18, 2011
Well, it's day five and I'm down 13 lbs!!! HOLLA!
It's nice to see the progress and I'm feeling better physically. I'm still experiencing hunger pains but the real blockage is head hunger. The truth and reality behind the head hunger is that it's part of the food addiction. I've been thinking a lot about the addiction side of things lately and wonder how it is I allowed myself to get to where I am. I know that it started when I lost my mom. In addition, I ended a 5-year relationship just after the funeral and turned to food for comfort almost immediately. The loss of a loved one makes you do crazy things. I've been steadily gaining weight since 2002 and have tried a plethra of diets/eating programs/cleanses and can never seem to stick with anything past the first 30 or so lbs. I work my ass off until I'm 30-40lbs down and then I give myself "one unhealthy meal" claiming I will get back on track the next day. Well, the next day turns into weeks or months even, thus the extra poundage. I'm not sure what it's going to take to beat the head hunger, maybe just continuing to work through the addition side of things. It's very important that on this journey I begin to understand and come to terms with the reasoning behind the weight gain. My expectation is to really get to know myself and face the demons - unleash the beast if you will.
I went to the store for the first time lastnight and I wanted to punch everyone that was shopping. I made a b-line for the milk section but still found my self envious of the passing carts full of food, ecspecially the veggies and fruit. What I wouldn't give for a jamba juice right now.
I'm holding strong right now but want to admit that I started my liquid diet a week early so that I could eat a little something on Thanksgiving. I can't decide if I'm doing it for certain, but I'm leaving it open. Does that make me a pile or just a weakling? Hmmm, that is the question..
