Back Again....April 9TH 2013

Apr 09, 2013

I have missed this site and now I find myself needing it more than ever . FB is nice and a fun way to keep up with what is going on in everyone's life ( may I  mention the oh so addicting games also ) but it seems like nothing more than a continuous flow of likes not a place you really want to say how you feel and what your feeling especially about  this thing called "weight".FB can have its days but I need to make time for this site to because when all is said and done here is where it started and here is what is going to help keep me on track .

I cannot believe so much time has gone by since my weight loss surgery I wish I could say all has been good but at best all I can say is it has been bittersweet . Sweet when I lost a good bit of weight and a tad bit bitter for gaining it back and not being able to keep it off . Part my fault I will say 60% and the other 40% the band I tried at first I really really did but I have had so many problems with this band I gave up which ended up creating more problems as in more weight gain emotional and physical pain.

Which also brings me to the present day : 1 ) Only 6 lbs. less from where I started almost 7 years ago , 2) an empty band , 3 ) something in my stomach which doesn't appear to be a slip but isn't suppose to be there either and when I ask him what it was he didn't know ( this was during the swallow test ) 4 )  and on clear liquids for two weeks... yes two weeks... not easy at all . When I go back to the Dr. in two weeks I have no idea what to expect . Will I have to make a decision to have the band taken out , get a fill eat very very little and hope for the best . I know in my heart this band is not going to work for me but I don't want to give it up I also know I would like to have a revision surgery only not another band . So undecided . Then there is the painful question will anything work for me ? This band has left me so scared and disillusioned about any weight loss surgery and the thought of failing again would be devastating to me .  

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