danielle S.
5/24/07 i've had a weight problem on and off for the last 15 years and untill last year i thought i'd always have this battle .as a teen i went through eating disorders left and right ,one year id be 50 pounds over weight and another i'd be too thin and it was such a fight just to stay average .i am an emotional eater .if i gave up eating id be addicted to something else and when i came clean with that there the weight would be piling on.
around age 20 i had gone from 140 pounds to 230 after taking the depo provera shot ,in under a year.well that did it i was miserable everything began to fall apart for me,i couldnt stand to be in my own skin.i sabbatoged my relationship with the one i loved and everything else that meant anything to me.i hated me and i took it out on everyone.
something had to change i thought that hey i can do this and well,i did .
i starved myself ,i loaded up on diet pills,whatever gnc had on sale i got,back than ephedra was in everything .i walked 2 miles twice a day.than came the laxitives and the water pills and the binging and purgingand yeah finally 9 months later i got down to 150 pounds.i felt great!the confidence was back and the happiness .i was alive again... and i met a wonderful man who would become my husband.
we shared romantic dinners and shortly moved in together ,all was well ,he loved me ,for me.the weight started comming back but not too bad ,opposed to what i had previously went through.a few years went by and i had gotten myself up to 180 pounds but i had sort of settled in there and maintained that without much effort.in 2002 i found out i was pregnant .the weight was piling on i had gestational diabetes and was 280 by the time i delivered my daughter.
here i was again,ok well screw it i stayed around 250 for a while 2 years.i tryed atkins and it wasnt too bad at first hey i got to eat ok its not what i normally like to eat but food is food.i made it to about 220 and than all the bad habits kicked in seriously i was starving i was so hungry and uncomfortable .so binge ,purge and whatever to get the weight off.depression wasnt the word ,hell is more like it.finally i saw 180 again.i was so glad to be there i left it at that and ended up being able to adjust and maintain it again,i guess this would be my new norm.
to make a long story short,i got pregnant again and went right back to 285,same troubles ,always eating never comfy and ges diabetes.ahhhhh!
this time i was so mad after delivery i swore to never eat again and somehow got myself to 250 right away.than it stopped.i've been here for almost 2 years .
last summer my primary dr recommended bariatric surgery after diet and meridia efforts failed.i've been researching every aspect of both rny and lap band.i was going full throttle with rny and finally completed the psych ,nutritional and labs that were required plus additional dr's visits untill just recently my primary dr spoke with my bariatric surgeon and changed her recomendation to lap band.so we switched back and forth weighing everything and lap band it is.
i have to be honest i hesitated a little with this decision.ive been reading stories on here for a while and it seems like the majority of people have chose rny and the success is amazing.
today i found out my drs have summitted the paperwork to my ins .all i can do now is wait to hear back.i want this so much i need this help.my 30 th birthday is right around the corner which symbolizes, one ...ive been battling this for at least half of my life and two...i need to get out and enjoy life with my husband and kids.ive been in hiding ,feeling embarrassed and like theres something wrong with me for so long,and enough already.i just want to be able to put on a pair of jeans and a t shirt or to be happy about the fact that summers here i want to be truly content in my own skin.
if anyone out there is reading this,please wish me luck...i m going to need it .
