Beginning Again

Jul 23, 2012

We have reached our new base, moved into our new house, met our new neighbors, acclimated into our new environment (which is STUNNINGLY beautiful!) and now... the moment we've all been waiting for. I actually have to branch out and meet new people.

As a THIN person.

My husband is a First Sergeant in the USAF. He meets EVERYBODY in his squadron. He meets their wives, their children. He meets other First Sergeants, and their wives, and children. He meets his Commander, and other Commanders, and their wives, and children. And I meet them too. For the first time, I'm meeting our Commander as a thin person. I was called "athletic" last week - ATHLETIC! Me! The last time I met our Commander's wife, we met at the grand opening of the new base exchange - a HUGE affair. We bumped into the Burger King "King" and had our picture taken. I came home, looked at those pictures, and wept.

At 250lbs, I shouldn't have been meeting anyone, anywhere. But i HAD to meet people - I'm the First Sergeant's wife. And NOT for the first time, but for the WORST time, I saw what THEY saw when they met me. It was a nightmare to see those pictures. Jeans you could drive a TRUCK through, shapeless top. I was MORTIFIED. Not entirely coincidentally, it was not too long after that that I started my WLS voyage. That was almost two years ago. I've met new people since then, I've seen people I've known throughout my journey. But this is different.

Tonight I get to start a new chapter. I get to meet new people - as a thin person. No worrying about how I will look in WHATEVER I choose to wear. No worrying about being the biggest person in the room. No worrying about what people will think if I eat while I'm there at the meeting. No worrying that people will say, "Wow, he's such a nice Shirt, but his wife is so FAT..." My husbad would be proud of me no matter what happened, what I weighed or how I looked. But this me HAS to be much easier to be proud of.

Tonight, it is GAME ON. 114lbs thinner.

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