Deirdre_70

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Well, today is the 4th........so I am getting closer and closer to my appt with the surgeon.  The clinic still hasn't sent out any sort of paperwork that they said would be coming my way..........If It isn't here by Monday I will call them to say it hasn't arrived.  
I was supposed to have today off, but someone had a sick child and I had to go in and work for her.  It is making for some very long days, as I am getting very little time off.  Classes start next week, so it doesn't look like I am going to have much time at all to relax before I get back into the swing of homework and such.
I haven't climbed on the scale since I saw my GP back in November, but I think I have gained a few more pounds over the holidays.  "They" say that most folks gain 5 pounds or so through Christmas............. I think I very well may have fit into the "most folks" catigory.
I am really just wanting to move on to the next step......whether it be approval for gastric surgery, or else stapling my lips shut.  :)  Seriously, If this surgery isn't approved, I don't know what I am going to do.  I have tried nearly everything else.   I am not getting any younger, and I want to be a healthy old lady!
THINGS I'D LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH IN THE NEW YEAR:

1) Read my bible daily, follow the reading schedule to have completed the entire bible in one year (or less!)
2) Improve my language......I use foul talk FAR too much.  Decrease that potty mouth!
3)Complete foster parenting classes.........and possibly even open our home to another child. 
4) Become healthier........either through surgical means or any other option warranted. 
5) Complete all my pre-requisites so that I can bridge into the RN program.  I love being an LPN.......but really want to move to the next level.  
6) Spend more time with my Kids and husband.  We need to have more family time! 

Happy new year to you and yours..........
Dee

The New Year is quickly approaching, though we will not be celebrating it at our house.  I have to work both New Years Eve, and New Years Day.  4am comes mighty early, even if you get to bed by 10!  Ross has the day off, so that will be nice for him and the kids......THEY get to sleep in.
More snow is expected here, along with the ice and wind and other wintery mix of crappiness that seems to plague this part of  the country.  I don't mind snow, but ice and wind wear on my nerves.  I hate driving it it, and I hate worrying about my family driving in it.   My drive to work comes so early, the sand and snow removal trucks are still about an hour behind me.  The 23 miles to work can seem like 200.
We are going to take the tree down today.  I am ready to reclaim my house, and get things somewhat back to normal.  I may leave a few of the snowman up simply because they are seasonal more than holiday.  And with all this snow, they fit right in.  
17 days until I see the surgeon, and I am waiting for the informational packet and paperwork their office said they would be sending out.  I am sure it will be here sometime in the next week.  
Still just waiting...........hoping...........

Dee

This time of year just flies by, doesn't it?  I have been busy picking up extra hours at work due to folks taking vactaion time, as well as getting ready for Christmas.  It is SO nice to not have any homework or classes to attend right now.  I had reached my limit when it came to brain capacity........at least for one semester.  I did manage to pull off two A's and one B.......so I guess that you CAN teach old dogs new tricks!  I find that I don't learn things as easily as I did as a teenager, but I can still do it with a bit more determination.  
Been busy with the holiday baking and goody creations.  I don't know how many cookies/treat bars I have made.  I lost count after 7 or 8 different recipies.  I still have a few more things to make, and the kids want popcorn balls as well.........but the popcorn balls are easy, at least.  Will just toss in a few red and green M&M's and call it "festive".  Still have to do the sugar cookies that need decorated.  Ross and the girls and I have just made it a tradition that we all decorate cookies together........I am traditional with red and green and sparkles. The girls get a little more creative with colors and use a lot more candy and sprinkles than I do.  Ross mixes the frostings to get poo brown or bile green and then makes the cookies look as unappealing as possible. (His form of protest on the commercialization of Christmas) but we all enjoy spending the evening together.  I will get the dough made up this morning so it can chill this afternoon.  I have to go to a manditory meeting at work today (my only day off in 6!) Because we are getting our Christmas bonus today.........which was supposed to be a nice ham.......but the head of dietary has informed me that it is actually a "Four pound pressed ham product"............somehow that kind of takes the "bonus" out of it.  But whatever, it's not like I am in nursing for the money or extras anyway.........there isn't much of either. 
I also got a bunch of baskets to organize my bathroom.  I have plenty of storage space in there, but I have stuff crammed around to where you can't find what you need if you have a headache or cold or need a bandaid.  The girls have their hair stuff (ponytail holders, barrettes, etc) tossed all over one of the shelves........so I got a drawer system to keep them separated into colors and try to keep them more organized.  That is my project for this morning.  I suppose I had better get on my stuff for the day..........
Don't want to be late to get my "ham product". 

Hope your holiday preparations are going well.........27 days until I see the surgeon for my consult.  :)  

Dee

My computer seems to be on the fritz.  We took it into the repair shop, and they said that we had seven viruses, countless spyware and some sort of tracker thing-a-ma-jig.  To ice the cake, SOMEONE (both children deny it) jammed either a flash card, or I-Pod cord into the port the wrong way, broke off a piece and shorted out the front circuit board.  So we now have about $200 going to repair the good computer (still at the shop) while I am breaking down to post on the dinosaur computer that is supposed to be for the kids to be using....it is a bit older, but works fine for typing school reports, researching and such.  It doesn't play or burn DVD's, though. Hubby and I noticed that our computer was SLOW but couldn't figure out why.  The tech says that we have Norton Antivirus, and that he suggests we get some sort of Panda program.......so while he cleans up our system, he is installing the Panda, too.  He said that Norton has been bringing him a ton of business the past 6 months because that program is letting bugs through.  Hopefully will be back and running on my own computer in a few days.  Until then, I sit and cuss at this one.
Everything here is pretty much status-quo.  I have my semester finals the next two days, so I will be busy trying to finish getting prepared for them.  Algebra is tonight, Psychology in the morning and then Anatomy/Physiology tomorrow evening.  I will be glad when the semester is over and done.  I then get nearly a month break before spring classes start.  YAY!  And I am looking forward to meeting with the surgeon on the 15th of January to see if we are progressing to the next step, or if I have to go with plan B.  Plan B doesn't sound very probable.....I have had ZERO success with unassisted weight loss.  
Well, I better go and get to working those formulas for Algebra....hope I can just pass the final.....for the first time in my life I am "hoping" for a C!!  Usually I am straight A's all the way, but this course is really kicking my hiney.
Will update when I don't have to use this dinosaur of a computer!
D.

Today, since I have the day off from classes AND from work.........I do believe I will get something accomplished.  I plan to finish my Algebra homework, do my Anatomy worksheets that are coming due, perhaps prepare a bit for my finals that are rapidly approaching too!  I also need to get my Christmas letter typed so I can get those cards out on the 1st of the month or so.  
I brought the tree home yesterday......holy cow!  It is a monster for sure.  Good thing I have 12 foot ceilings, or else we would be cutting a hole in the roof!  (I swear, It didn't look that big at the lot)  Anyhoooo, it required much furniture re-arranging to put intot he house, so now I have to try to make some order of the displaced stuff, plus get the Christmas stuff out so I can decorate.  My house is in a state of disorganization, and that just makes me nuts.  
So here I am.......sitting and smelling the wonderful air freshner plug in things I got for a good deal at Bath & Bodyworks......pumpkin cinnamon something-or-other.........but it is quite snifferiffic, I must say.  Puts me a bit more in the holiday mood than I was earlier.  I am just REALLY wanting to get this whole WLS ball rolling, and I find myself impatient and frusterated.  Plus finals for my classes, and working more hours since everyone but me seems to have travel plans for the holidays.  I am so blessed that Ross's and my families are both right here, and we see them all the time............but geez!  Everyone else is leaving for a week or 10 days and I have to work Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New years Eve and New years Day..........plus have very few days off beween the 15th and New Years......when everything just goes nuts and I try to prepare for our family celebration here at my house.  Last year I said I wasn't working the holidays again..........that It was my turn to have them off.  Yeah.....not so much.  
Off I go to start on my list of things I need to get done............the list seems to be growing, too. 
May your days be merry and bright..........and far less hectic than mine have been lately :)

D.

I have a ton of things to do......some of which I have started but have not completed.....which is one of my big pet peeves.  You know folks who have 10 things in the works, and not a one of them near completion.  Those types of people make me crazy, and right now I am one of them.  I tore apart my craft Wednesday because my daugher has an evil cat that pee'd on the carpet.  I shampooed the rug, washed everything down and now have a clean smelling craft room.  I still have about half of the stuff that belongs in the craft room sitting in my dining room, though.  There the stuff sits. I started my Chrismtas cards.......but none are ready to be mailed out yet.  Here they sit.  I have an assignment due in Algebra tomorrow night and I haven't a single problem solved.  Yep, it's sitting here on the desk.  Ditto for the Psychology homework.  
I lack motivation..........something that I usually have at least SOME of.  Also, I always decorate for Christmas the Saturday following Thanksgiving.......
You guessed it: The decorations sit in the boxes downstairs.  
What on earth is wrong with me?  
Took pictures at Thanksgiving, so if you'd like to see, you can see what my hubby, two kiddos and I look like.  Took a few other shots too, but I can tell you that I am just sickened by looking at how big I am in them.  One is a side view of me......and my chin(s) makes me look like a damn bullfrog.  :-(  Not a good thing, I assure you. 
Hopefully the ho hums will pass and I will get some things accomplished here soon.  I think a cattle prod may do the trick, though I don't seem to have one handy.  

D.

Here it is, Thanksgiving day of 2006.  A day of mixed emotions for me, and I think for a lot of obese folks like me.  The whole being thankful isn't where I am mixed--I have a ton to be thankful for, and I AM!  The mixed up part is the fact that the entire day is centered around eating!  Turkey, stuffing, cranberries, sweet taters, mashed taters and gravy, corn, green beans, pistachio salad, broccoli salad, coconut cream pie, and apple, cherry and pecan pies as well.  Relish trays before and turkey sandwiches after.  
I am either making food, eating food, cleaning up from eating food or getting food back out again to re-heat and re-eat!  Next year I am hoping to be several months post-surgical, many pounds lighter, immeasurably healthier.........
Today I am thankful for Jesus and his gift that allows me to be accepted into heaven, for his mercy and love and never ending grace.  I am thankful for my husband, who is my rock.  I adore everything about him, and would not be who I am today without him.  He brings out the very best in me.  I am thankful for my children, who can try my patience to no end..........but who have taught me more than I could ever hope to teach them.  They are true gifts, and I cannot imagine even one day without them.  I am thankful for my family.......even when we don't see eye to eye.......I know that we are there for each other when it really matters. And I am thankful for my prosperity: ability to maintain a home to live in, vehicle to drive, food in the cupboard, heat and electricity and all those things that so many other people do not have.  
And I am thankful for my friends.  For Amye, my touchstone and support system for 24 years.  For Peggy, my partner in crime, occasional alibi and buddy since 1984!  And to my numerous internet friends who enrich my life in a way that I cannot even describe.  Thanks for the support and love and information.  I no longer feel like I am the only one dealing with weight issues. 
My appointment for surgical consult has been moved back to January 15th......so I will wait an extra week to see the doc.  At first I was a little upset, but I have been fat for years.  Really, what is another week in the grand scheme of things?  
Many MANY blessings to you all.

Happy Thanksgiving, 
D.

Well, I went to the GP and he said my cholesterol was 230, my triglycerides were 288........both high.  I figured that much.  Honestly, I figured they would be even higher than that.  
I got a referral to the surgeon, though the GP did not sound optimistic about me getting the surgery.  I am confused as to what all it takes to be approved, it seems like the more I research, the more I get confused.  I know I need at least 2 co-mobidities.  High cholesterol/triglycerides count as 1.  I have PCOS, some say that counts and others say it doesn't.  I will have to wait until I hear something from the surgeon.  His office said that they would be sending out some information, so now I just wait.  
I got a treadmill, but I am really struggling with it.....can't stay there very long at all.  My feet (especially my right one) just throb within minutes, even with my good shoes.  Not just on the treadmill, either.....but at work as well.  I know the extra weight has some to do with it.  
230 pounds at 5 foot 4 is not a good place to be.  
This weight has to come off, surgery or not!  So I will keep plugging away and wait for my consult......which isn't until January 8th, by the way.  I guess there are lots of folks wanting to get in and see this guy. 

So I wait my turn.  

Deirdre

Just waiting for tomorrow when I go to my GP to see what the results of my bloodwork are.  It seems so weird that I keep hoping and wishing that the tests all come back with crappy readings.......high cholesterol and triglycerides, elevated sugar levels........
Not because I want to be sick, but because I have tried every diet, pill, potion, plan out there.  I have 3 diet books on my shelf as we speak, and have doated another 10 or so to the Goodwill.  I have had gym memberships and walking buddies.  I have starved myself, choked down shakes that would make a billygoat puke and gained and lost at least a hundred pounds.  I NEED this surgery.  Being fat and miserable isn't a good enough reason according to the insurance company, I also have to have some co-existing conditions, or what they are calling comorbidities.  (I'm a nurse and haven't heard this term before.........I am learning all kinds of stuff about this particular area of medicine)  
So heres hoping that there are some really good reasons for me to go see a surgeon..........Wish me luck.....
Tomorrow I will know if my journey moves forward, or hits a speed bump.  
D.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  .  I have heard that more times than I can count, and I have said it more times than I care to remember.  Usually pertaining to weight loss, and almost always before starting a new diet plan.  Friday I went to the doctor, my weight is out of control.  I am tired, depressed, and cranky.  I have PCOS that is poorly controlled at this point.(go to  www.soulcysters.com to learn more) and I can't find anyting comfortable to wear. Why can't I find a sweatshirt that is my size, WITHOUT a gathered bottom and cartoon character free?  The best way  to look flattering while overweight is NOT by stamping  a 3 foot Pooh Bear across your abdomen and chest.  That goes for Tweety, MIckey Mouse, Tinkerbell and Spongebob Squarepants as well.  
A few months ago I walked toward a building with windows that had a mirrored shine and saw a reflection of a heavy woman.......one that was even bigger than I was and one that I hoped I would never have to become.  When I got up closer to the glass, I realized that the reflection was not of someone else, but of me.  I AM her, and she HAS become who I am.  I am literally swallowed by the fat lady in the reflection.  
So on Friday, I took the step..........I asked for help..........I started the process.  Blood was taken, and I go back on Friday of this week to discuss my options.  I hope the options include a consult with a surgeon.  I really do think that gastric surgery may be the tool I need.  If I am denied..........
Well, I guess I have Pooh Bear to fall back on.  
D.