Diane324

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Anyone who has been following my journey knows that I have struggled with what seems to me to be slow weight loss post Op. At my 6 month visit, I was down less than 60 pounds since surgery. My doctor was ok with the weight loss, but reminded me that I may still end up obese after losing all that I can. That was disappointing news - i didn't have this major life changing surgery to STILL be obese! I was certain that I would be at a 100 pound loss by six months postOp - I had lost 79 pounds preOp. Clearly I had the knowledge, tools and what it takes to really excel at this, right? Hmmm....

Obviously at the beginning of March I was really doubting myself. Over the past several weeks my weight loss rate has picked up - I'm having some trouble with my stomach. Eating is sometimes difficult and I find myself having more protein drinks to make sure I'm getting in enough protein during the day. To my dismay, I was put back on omeprazole - my primary care thinks the stomach discomfort and trouble eating is due to stomach acid. I will give it a few more days, and then give in and contact my RNY surgeon. I know the omeprazole takes a little while to kick in - so I'm giving it a chance.

So, I weighed in today and I am down 79 pounds post Op - I have matched my pre Op weight loss and have lost 158 pounds! I'm over 2/3 of the way to my goal weight! Another 10 pounds and I will be back to the weight I started at 6 years ago - when I lost 140 pounds and gained back almost 170. That scares and excites me - in a way this is a new beginning - venturing into new territory that I haven't seen since my early 20s - hoping that I can break past the next big goals. 210 will be 100 pounds lost since surgery, and then there is breaking the 200 pound barrier and getting into ONDERland - for the first time since I was probably 18! I never thought I would get back to this place again - and as hard as it is to try NOT to look ahead to a goal weight - seeing the goals that are coming up ten pounds at a time is SO exciting!

Ten pounds seems like NOTHING compared to 158 pounds - when I started this journey even losing 30 pounds didn't affect my clothing size - now, ten pounds can change whether or not a pair of jeans fits! My pants are down from a snug size 32 to a comfortable 20/22 depending on the cut and material. Shirts are a 22/24. I would probably be a full two sizes smaller if it weren't for the large amount of loose skin around my stomach and abdomen - but for now, I will just live with it. I'm starting to have some rashes and discomfort around the skin folds - I will start finding out how to document these issues and hope that my health insurance will at least help pay to remove some of the excess skin down the road. But for now - I have these 66 pounds to work on. And who knows if that's my real goal - I've always said that I will know what my goal is when I get there. How do you decide what is right for your body when you haven't been a "normal" weight since before puberty?

I write these blogs for a few reasons - I want to be able to look back on what I was thinking and feeling during this journey. I keep my blog public for anyone who might find support, help or information they need in here. It would be great if the world realized that WLS is NOT the easy way out. Have any of us had an easy time getting here?

I'm encouraged that the scale is moving again - I see a glimmer of light at then tunnel's end. Don't misunderstand me - working on my weight is going to be my job for the rest of my life, but with perserverence it will be maintaining a healthy weight and not losing the same weight again and again (and again ...)

So I didn't get to 100 pounds in months - it's not how fast I can do this - it's that I do this, and that I stick to it, stop giving up and don't go back where I started. No more stuffing my emotions with food. I am thankful everyday for this tool - that it keeps me from undoing all of my hard work.

As always I will check back with news, hopefully good news.

Ok, I've acknowledged for awhile that I have issues - and that I'm dealing with some and I still need to confront some others.So - I thought that my pre surgery weight loss of 79 pounds meant I was going to be a postOp Rock Star. Here I am, 2 weeks shy of my 6 month "Surgiversary", and my postOp weight loss is 61 pounds. I am disappointed to say the least - yes, it's still a good thing and no, I'm not giving up. I just wonder what I'm doing wrong?In November my iron levels were found to be slightly low - so I started iron supplements - yet the fatigue has continued. I am MORE tired that I have every been - even 140 pounds ago.My 10 tubes of blood, drawn for my 6 month PostOp showed that I am at the low end of the Vitamin D range - although inside of the "normal" range - my primary care said anything below 30 is considered deficient (I'm at 27). From what I have seen on line - a good level is up around 70 or so? And apparently obesity and Vitamin D deficiency are linked together - although I couldn't find any information that indicates getting your Vitamin D levels back up would help with weight loss. But it really makes me wonder, is this Vitamin D deficiency part of the explanation for my sluggish weight loss? (If anyone out there has any information about this - feel free to comment or PM me).

It also revealed that my liver enzymes are elevated. These same enzymes were normal in November. Since the liver metabolizes fat - again I wonder, is this related to my slow weight loss? My PC is repeating the tests and adding some additional liver function tests and also testing for hepatitis - although the hepatitis is unlikely. From the research I have done, weight loss can be the cause of the elevated enzymes - and from talking to my PC - they could be a lot higher than they are, and I would still be ok, so I guess they are only mildly elevated at this point. And since lots of stuff are stored in fat - I imagine as we lose fat, these things have to be released and processed as this happens. We rarely go out to eat since surgery - it's a frustrating experience. I can find things on the menu - but often because of the coumadin, I can't have any of the side dishes. I don't mind that I have to take 2/3 or more of my meal home - its nice to have meals I don't have to prepare - but the things I used to love about going out to dinner just aren't there anymore. The one thing that IS so cool - and I STILL have to sit and enjoy it for a few minutes BEFORE I even look at the menu is sitting in a booth. There is a good 6 or 8 inches between my belly and the table now - last year - if we got stuck with a booth (I would usually request a table if at all possible) I had to squeeze into it, and would drip food onto myself because I couldn't lean forward because I just didn't fit! I also moved my car seat forward recently.So - my 6 months is over in just 15 days. I still have 80 to 100 pounds to lose - and I'm scared to death I am not going to lose it because I have missed my window. I thought when I started on this journey that I would be happy just to get below 200 pounds - but that is 49 pounds away and I know now that is isn't enough for me. I want to get to "normal". I'm also starting to deal with discouragement with my skin. My upper arms, panni/abdomen and thighs are so loose and gross already. Even in the cold February weather I'm already itchy and having minor rashes - I imagine summer is going to be a nightmare.

So - I've upped my Vitamin D - per my PC's direction - and I will see what my surgeon and NUT have to say next Monday when I go in. And I imagine they will have some insight as to they relationship between the Vitamin D level and whether or not it has anything to do with how slow my weight loss is going. If nothing else - I'm sure they will have some suggestions for me - and some advice to encourage me and get me past my current discouraged state.

I know depression is not uncommon post RNY - and I actually have a psyc consult coming up next week. Certainly being the single mom to 2 "terrible teens" is adding to my frustration - and they are both causing me a lot of stress and their antics have been spilling over into issues at the school and legal problems which now means that Social Services is a part of my life - and of course in their eyes - anything my kids do wrong is my fault. It took me until I was 41 to focus on myself and get my life under control (starting with my weight) and its hard not to feel that I'm being punished for not putting the kids ahead of myself like I have for the past 13 years of raising them on my own. I'm sure that feeling of guilt over doing something for myself isn't uncommon for WLS patients. And it's probably all part of the struggle I'm currently going through - wondering if I'm one of the people who's surgery wasn't successful. I know that sounds crazy - since 61 pounds isn't a flop either. And all in all I am down 140 pounds - which is a HUGE big deal. I always want MORE than what I've got.

So I will pop back in a few weeks and let you know how the postOp visit went, and what's going on with the Vitamin deficiency and the Liver Enzymes.

Till then ... keep losing - hopefully I will too!
Hugs Diane

I didn't have the forethought to take measurements when I was at my highest weight - but I did take a set in September. In December, I took another set to see what the difference was. At the time my weight loss was 36 pounds between the sets of measurements. The amazing part is that I lost 10.5 inches with those 36 pounds. I really wish I knew the before measurements - it would be amazing to know the total inches lost by now!

I had planned to take photos and measurements every month, but somehow plans never seem to workout. But I think doing it quarterly is probably good. That way I can see a noticeable difference. Maybe when a months weight loss is aKin greater percentage of the total the frequency will increase.

The slow weight loss has me bummed - I've been going over food logs and trying to figure out where I'm going wrong. I've some to the conclusion that I think I'm not getting enough protein. I will be chatting with the nutritionist tomorrow and getting some recommendations for how to increase the protein and whether it should be shakes or food.

My water and supplements are good, my activity level is increasing. I'm sure I will push through this and get back into the losing zone.

I recently read one of my posts written right after surgery where I had said "I find it hard to believe depression is an issue after this surgery" - and now I stare it in the face most days. I'm not convinced that it's enough to consider medication, but I do think its time to go talk to someone before it goes any further.

Kind of a depressing post ... but I think its just another part of this journey.

Until next time .... Diane 

This time last year I weighed about 360 pounds and was miserable at my job - I hated it. I was suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, Borderline Type II Diabetes, back pain, depression (all weight related) and in March what started as Bronchitis ended up revealing bilateral Pulmonary Embolisms (blood clots in each lung - 30% chance of fatality) and caused my March 24th (actual birthday) RNY surgery to be cancelled.

In June, I was laid off, and the area I live in has been hit very hard by the recession - 5 years ago it took me a year to find a programming job, and as my ex isn't paying child support, I got behind on my bills even faster this time. I got a notification about a job fair from the Dept of Labor and went to it - I waited over 2 hours for 5 minutes with the recruiter. He said he was going to forward my resume on and indicated I was in the running for 2 positions. By late August I hadn't heard back from them, so I contacted the recruiter and asked if they were still interested, when he said yes, I took a chance and told him I was having "minor" surgery on Sept 15th and wondered if we could schedule the interview before the surgery so it didn't hold up their hiring process.  Hoping that honesty was the right thing to do, but worried that I had just cut my own throat, I got a phone call that afternoon and interviewed on Sept 2nd. Of course the date they said they would let me know by came and went, so I thought I was waiting for "the letter" in the mail.

As we pulled into the hospital parking lot I got a call from the recruiter telling me to expect an email offer in the next few days, for the higher paying of the two jobs, no longer just a programmer, now I am a Database Administrator and I do some programming as needed.  The timing couldn't have been better - talk about going into surgery with a positive attitude!

Surgery went off without a hitch, one extra day in the hospital because of the blood thinners, no big deal. I was even able to sleep in my own bed most of the first night home. My family is less than supportive - I was dropped off at my house and no one ever called or asked if we needed anything, I literally was out driving the next day because we needed a few groceries and stuff. I paid for overdoing it - I was VERY sore that first week or so. 

Surgery was September 15th, not my birthday, but it is the birthday of a close friend from support group. Her and I started in the same size pants, 32 and busting out of them. I'm down 10 sizes to a 22 as of now, my dear friend is a tiny size 4 (FOUR) - she is petite and looks amazing especially for a 62 year old woman! I don't see a size 4 in my future, but who knows? I'm looking forward to shopping in the REGULAR section of the store!

I started my new job on October 12th, just 1 day short of 4 weeks postOp. I am happy at my new job, I work with great people and I am in a field that is unlikely to be affectd by recessions. And I ended up with a $5000 "raise". I no longer dread walking in the door at work or fear my boss showing up.

Today I am 264 pounds - which means I lost 96 pounds this year, 46 of those since surgery. My total preOp weight loss was 70 pounds, so I am down a grand total of 125 pounds! I have set my goal at 165 pounds, which may need to be adjusted, but I haven't been that small since 10th grade. So as of today I have LESS than 100 pounds to goal - 99 pounds, but still, having the "to go" ticker in double digits is pretty amazing. I don't recognize the person in the consultation photo - her face is so round and the chin and neck aren't even separate. Even since September my face has continued to change - I wonder what I will look like in another year?

I'm looking forward to this time next year to see what 15 months of RNY can do. I will be SO pleased if I am at my goal - here's to me and all the positive changes I have made. I do hope Mr. Right shows up sometime in the near future - I miss having someone in my life.

Happy New Year! Let's get going on this new year and kick it's butt!
Hugs until later .... Diane

After the doctors passed the proverbial "buck" around from primary care (who is out of the office, so I can understand the fill in not making a decision) to the surgeon who wanted the hemotologist to decide if I needed an iron supplement - FINALLY a decision was made that yes, I should add an iron supplement. So, Tuesday I added the iron and am still wondering about it because they put me on Ferrous Sulfate - and every place I have looked on the net says Ferrous Fumerate is the better supplement for RNY patients. I will try this for now and see how it goes.

My surgeon was pleased with the ~36 pounds lost since surgery - and told me not to compare my results to other patients (where have I heard that before?) and that the 79 pounds I lost before surgery defnintely matters and over all I'm doing great. When I commented I had expected to be down close to 100 pounds at 6 months, he said "you have 3 more months - it's entirely possible you will be at or near that weight loss by March". After struggling since late October for each pound I was thinking is he not listening? I go a week or two then lost 3 or 4 pounds then a week or two ...

So, I followed that visit with a meeting with the Nut (I love that abbreviation - just because sometimes I think they are a little crazy). We went over the addition of iron - which she said definitely required Vitamin C with it - chewable. And said to turn back to chewable vitamins and Calcium (w/D) because they seem to be better absorbed. I will finish my current bottle of Citrical, and probably order Calcium on-line because I have yet to find a chewable Calcium Citrate in stores. But I did immediately go back to the chewable vitamins. She also (with the help of a nurse who was visiting for the day) rearranged how I take my medications - to make sure nothing was interfearing with anything else. The up side - maximum absorption of everything I'm taking - the down side - EIGHT doses of medication per day five of which are Calcium (3), Multi-V and Iron +C, then AM meds, PM meds and my coumadin was moved to all by itself at ~5pm - hopefully maximizing it's absorption. I would LOVE to get off of the coumadin, but until I can get down closer to 200 pounds - I'm guessing I won't be able to get the hemotologist to go for that - since repeat blood clots indicate lifetime coumadin therapy.

So - the GREAT WEEK part?!?!?!? I dropped 6 pounds this week from Monday to Sunday! I haven't lost that much in a week since the first couple weeks post surgery and I'm THRILLED! I am hoping that this isn't just because I stalled from 12/1 to 12/7 - but even with recent stalls, I still haven't seen a 6 pound drop in a week. So, I think the addition of iron and changing to the chewable vitamin (which is also a 'better' vitamin meaning it has more in it) that the coated pill I was swallowing - that may have just been passing right through. The cautious part comes it when I wait to see how the next couple weeks go. I truly hope this continues - even if it's 3 or 4 pounds per week - I do get SO frustrated when that needle on the scale stands still day after day.  (Note: I do not weigh myself everyday - I try to go about 3 days between checking on that scale, and I never record my weight more than once per week. Lately it's been only every couple weeks, when the scale changes by at least 3 or 4 pounds.)

The other thing that improved my week was seeing my consultation photo. I never took a photo at my maximum weight - then again, who ever knows when they are at their maximum weight? But, the nurse at the surgeons office took a new photo at this visit, and I asked if I could get a copy of the original photo, and she printed both out for me. I really needed to see the difference that ~120 pounds has made - I will up load the photos as soon as I scan them - but I can see the things other people have commented on. My face is totally different - I have cheek bones, and while I still have an extra chin - I'm not sure if you could tell where my chin ended and my neck began before!

Obviously at 268 pounds and a BMI of 43.3 I still have a way to go - 103 pounds to my goal weight - so I still see a fat person in the mirror - and now this fat person has some seriously sagging skin which is a whole other post to discuss - but I can see the progress I have made. And I have so much confidence that this is permanent weight loss because of the changes I made for over a year before surgery that allowed me to lose 79 pounds before having surgery. I can't wait to match that number with post surgery weight loss - there will be a little party when I get to 231 pounds! That's only 37pounds away, can you imagine a time when one of us would have said "ONLY 37 POUNDS" - and for the record, that will put me right about at the weight I got down to in 2004 when I lost 140 pounds on my own, and then gained back 170 pounds and beat myself up for a couple years before taking control back and finding my wonderful surgeon and his support program. I wouldn't be where I am without my support group. 

On that note - I'm going to end this post - check back later for a couple photos - the consultation one, and the new one the surgeon took. I really need to update my measurements to see how many inches I have lost. I got my butt into a pair of jeans that have been laughing at me for awhile - and it felt great! They are jeans with NO stretch to them!

For anyone not in a support group - please find one - it's my life line. In addition to having a couple close friends who have had surgery and are several years post op and have been successful. And I do know someone who isn't in a support group and has used her lap band to become bulemic  she's lost weight - but she is well on her way to becoming seriously ill and her family and friends won't say anything to her. Take care of yourselves - we did this to get healthy - not to develop a new illness!

I will be in touch soon - and hopefully with more good news!  

I have my first quartely checkup with my surgeon tomorrow - and I'm looking for answers.

I just got back an incomplete set of bloodwork from my primary care doctor - showing my serum iron level is low - 30 with the normal range being 50 to 170 (pretty broad range if you ask me) - and a few other iron indicators fall inside normal, by by tenths of a point. I'm now caught between asking the surgeon if I need extra iron (I'm exhausted BEYOND BELIEF and my weight loss has slowed tremendously during this same time period) and him wanting me to discuss it with the hemotologist who has me on Coumadin and wants me to remian on it for life, despite the fact it contributes to or down right causes anemia and my risk factor, obesity, is decreasing. It has decrease by 115 pounds, 79 before surgery, 36 since.

As much as I know I should be proud of the 36 pounds I have lost since surgery - I am sad and embarassed that most people who had RNY surgery around Sept 15th have lost about double what I have by now - and my dream of taking off about 100 pounds by my birthday in March is dissolving in front of my eyes.

Now - if this anemia can be resolved, and if my B12 levels are also low (which is liklely, but wasn't tested) it's possible that getting these levels back to normal may get my metabolism back to where it should be and get me back on track to losing 3 - 5 pounds per week instead of 1 - 2 pounds or less per week.

I'm trying to stay positive and keep in mind that I AM LOSING and haven't ever gained - but I had my mind set on where I would be at this point - and adjusting my expectations is proving to be MUCH more difficult that I could imagine.

I will be back in a few days to let you know when one of these doctors decides to give me some advice of supplements and getting my energy levels back up - so hopefully I don't lost my job for being late so often.

I have faith that this will get better - I'm just frustrated that I'm asking the professionals for help, and they are passing the responsibility around to each other, and meanwhile I am stuck in the middle with no interest in anything but sleep. I could care less about Christmas, presents or anything to do with the holidays.

If anyone has some brilliant ideas, insight or just some helpful words to pull me out of this abyss I'm sinking into - drop me a note.

I just need to wake up raring to go and see that scale start moving again! I'm worried about becoming depressed and we all know that leads to no good.

Hope everyone else is having a better time out there than I am right now!
Hugs - Diane

Its been 31 days since my RNY surgery - I have lost 19 pounds in those 31 days, bringing me to a grand total of 98 pounds lost. I started my new job last Monday and it's really starting to feel like the beginning of a new life.  I have a huge pile of pants, capris and shorts to get rid of - I have gone from a size 32 on the bottom to a size 24! I wish I had started taking pictures sooner than surgery day - but I think we all avoid cameras when we are at our largest.

I have been doing fine with any foods I have tried - I almost wish I were having more issues because I seem to be able to eat anything I want to.  Of course the amount I eat is limited - and to make sure I'm getting my protien I still have 1 or 2 protien shakes per day. I keep protien bars in my desk drawer so if I get hungry and I just feel like I HAVE to have something,  I have those and I can have just a piece of one just to shut my stomach up. Supplements are easy - I keep a 7 day medicine case in my purse with my midday Calcuim + D and Biotin in it - and the morning and evening doses I take with my regular medications.

My only complaint is still being on Coumadin. Once I get to 200 pounds I am going to push for a trial off of the Coumadin either on a lower maintenance blood thinner or nothing at all. Being on Coumadin requires weekly bloodwork - because being a bariatric patient my PT/INR levels are all over the place. It's frustrating - especially when the different doctors don't agree about the need for the medication.

My support group is still a crucial part of my success - and I will always be a part of it. The shared experiences, successes, what works, what doesn't work, complications - it puts everything into perspective for me.

I consider myself lucky - I've had a complication free surgery and I'm 98 pounds on my way down the road.  This week some time I am hoping to reach my 100 pound goal, and pass it and start working towards my next goal - whatever that will be. I think it's important to have small goals in between the big ones - otherwise you lose sight how far you have to go.

I will be posting new pictures for my 1 month postOP - I wonder if any changes will be noticeable? Talk to you soon!!

Its been 19 days since my surgery - well in a couple hours it will be! I have been lucky to have no serious complications, which was a real risk - I had two sets of blood clots in the 15 months before surgery, first 2 DVTs in my lower right leg and then 2 very serious Pulmonary Embolisms in my lungs - one in each lungs. The scary part about the PEs is that I had NO symptoms at all - if it hadn't been for a sudden cold that quickly turned into bronchitis. Thankfully the on call doctor for Saturday checked my O2 level and it was in the low 80s (normal is 96 - 100%). Although he sent me to the ER, thinking it might be pneumonia - the PEs were missed. I returned to my regular PC Monday who immediately asked if they did a CT of my lungs - and when I said no, he sent me back to the hospital for a STAT CT which landed me in the Cardiac Care unit for 4 days and probably saved my life. Pulmonary Embolisms a.k.a. blood clots in the lungs have a 30-40% fatality rate. With no symptoms, I am lucky I wasn't just found dead in my bed one morning. Thank you God for watching over me so I can still be here for my kids.

So, I am eating soft, mushy and pureed foods. I was scared at first because soups were going down so easily that I was afraid I could eat too much at once - but as I have  moved on to thicker foods, I get full a lot faster. I'm still drinking protien drinks 2 or 3 times per day to make sure I get enough protien in - the "meals" I'm having are so small - I want to make sure that I get my protien and of course all those YUMMY chewable supplements! They are actually not so bad - but I do have to take a break after taking them before I can have a small meal or protien drink because they fill my stomach. I've started doctoring the protien shakes with flavor extracts - banana, coconut and mint - it's amazing how much better plain old chocolate and vanilla are with just a little drop of another flavor!! I'm looking forward to ordering some new flavors on line when I start working again and get caught up on my bills. I am a little scared that I am able to eat anything I try - of course I haven't tried anything dumb like sweets or fried foods. But I have eaten a little pasta with a cut up meat ball and pasta in soups (Italian Wedding soup is a new favorite), even some stir-fry - just cooked the meat & veggies separately and had a portion with more chicken and less veggies, cut everything up super tiny, and it all went down fine. I have heard SO many people talk about the things they have trouble eating - I don't seem to have any. I did stay strictly on liquids for 2 full weeks after surgery, maybe that was a key. And I do watch to make sure the carb count isn't too high and the protien count isn't too low when I eat. No bread so far - too soon. Going back to work should be interesting since I don't know how the new place is set up - is there a fridge or a microwave? I will figure it out - time to get good at planning ahead!

Speaking of work - I am starting a new job on October 12  one of my goals MET!! Well - as long as Dr. M agrees with the start date. I was laid off in June from a job I loved, but that was causing me a lot of stress. The timing worked out so that I was off of work exactly long enough to have my RNY surgery, and recover in time to go back to work. I got a phone call as we were pulling into the hospital parking lot from the recruiting person who met with me and took my resume in - he called to tell me that I would be receiving an offer letter via e-mail. I had started to give up, because they were supposed to answer the week before so I thought I was waiting for "the letter".  It was AWESOME and a great way to go into surgery!  Everything seems to be healing well - my primary care thought a couple of the incisions looked a little inflamed, and I had a sinus infection, so he put me on an antibiotic that would cover both. MMMM, chewable antibiotics .... for the first time in 35 years LOL! The first day I was very, very sore around the "large" incision - which makes me think there was some internal infection as well. My only concern is that I still have some pain in that incision and in my left side.  It seems that the pain should have been gone by now.

As for the next goal MET - the scale dipped BELOW 300 pounds finally  YES YES YES! And I am just 10 pounds away from my next goal, my first 100 pounds LOST!! I'm not sure what my next goal after that will be - because another 100 pounds is too far to look, so I will find some mini goals along the way. I will be doing my best to take my monthly photos and measurements - so I can see progress because even as I am discarding yet another set of pants and shirts that used to be stretched across my chest now hang on me. A lot of us know that even as we see the clothes start falling off of us - when we look in the mirror, especially without clothes on - we don't see a different person. A close friend who went from a size 32 to a size 4 still sees a fat woman in the mirror - of course I see her as thin, but we can't get our self images right. I don't have photos from the very beginning - who knew I would lose 79 pounds BEFORE surgery - I'm still amazed and I hope and pray that indicates I will be very successful losing weight post surgery. And even more successful keeping it off - as I was able to once lose 140 pounds on my own, and gained 170 back after keeping it off for a year. This time the 79 pounds were all lifesyle change - not a crazy diet, not a liquid diet, not Atkins ... looking forward to joining a gym again when the doctors say I am healthy enough to work out again - for now I'm walking. Too bad I live in the North East and the weather is starting to change and it's going to get cold and soon it will be snowy and gross outside.

I'm still amazed at the pain and that it didn't hurt more than it did. It took me from December 2007 until September 2009 to get from the consultation with the first doctors office (I never did meet him) until surgery with the second doctor. Thank God for Dr Mecenas - things happen for a reason, and I was put in his care because he was the best surgeon for me - and he took great care of me, and I'm sure he will continue to over the next several years as he follows my progress. I'm also thankful for my support group who has been encouraging me since October 2008 - you are a huge part of my strength and determination. Thank you for educating me - about everything from the good to the bad to the ugly. And for supporting me even more than my own family has.

I will check in now and then, as I meet goals, and as new things happen, but I have NO REGRETS about having this surgery - I'm so much more positive about my new life and what is now possible. My health tracker will be updated weekly, and new photos uploaded monthly. I don't know if I've ever been so excited about anything - except maybe my surgery. I still kind of wish I had a picture of me in my blue bair paws paper gown, matching slipper socks and blue paper cap.  I'm sure it was a sight!

Check back - luck and love to you all! ....  Diane

Here we are - one full week after surgery. Some days I still can't believe I've had the surgery and am on the losing path for real. The fluid weight has been steadily dropping a couple pounds per day - and today I am down just over 2 pounds from my surgery day weight.  I can tell my fingers and stomach are still swollen - so I'm expecting a nice big number on the scale next Tuesday.

I finally took a set of measurements - I meant to do it last week but better late than never. Having lost 140 pounds (and regaining 170 pounds) I need to see this journey in the numbers not just on the scale, but in the measurements and in the photos I will be taking each month.

I'm really starting to get excited!  Now that the scale is moving - and I am moving with very little pain. Just the one incisions is sore, and if I over do it, it lets me know. The aches goes around the side and into my back. I'm SO looking forward to sleeping on my left side. I think my right side is flattening out! I'm not a back sleeper, so I really need some variety.

I went out to run one or two errands yesterday - and ended up out for over 4 hours. I was pretty sore, and I paid for it today, I'm very sore and very tired today. I will take it a litte easier the next time I head out! Live and learn.

I finally went today - YAY!! Maybe I "broke the damn" and it will become more regular from here one out!

I'll keep you posted - feeling really positive, hard to believe there is a post surgery risk of depression?!?!?

TTYS ..... Diane

Surgery was on time, ON TIME - Tuesday at 1:15 pm. I arrived and they dressed me in a blue paper gown with bear paws on it (bair paws) and matching slipper socks. This special gown has places in it that allow hoses to be hooked to it to heat of cool the patient as needed. I was able to convince them to allow me to leave in my two captive bead rings in my ears, covered with tape and tucked into my matching blue cap. I almost wish I had a picture of it! 

After the fourth attempt, I had an IV (I'm a tough stick, so this wasn't a surprise) and after just a few minutes of waiting, a few mls of versid were pushed and it was the beginning of relaxed, happy time. We left my mom waiting in the ambulatory surgery room, headed off to the OR, and right before we went through the door, the fentenyl went in and the "lights went out". LOL

I'm not sure how much time went by, but I woke up in some pain, which they immediately began pushing pain meds until it was under control, and my throat was just a tiny bit sore from the tubes. We headed off to ICU - standard procudure for anyone who is on CPAP or Oxygen at night and in my case, I am a  high risk for blood clots as well. Mom was MIA, so as soon as I could get someone to hand me my purse, I called her from my cell phone and she came to my room.

The nurses were great - they were right there for anything I needed and even brought in a giant fan to cool the room because I was too warm. Mom stayed until after 7 pm, though I don't remember much of her being there. I'm glad she went home - it was a long day for her, and she had over an hour to drive home - I'm sure I wasn't great company.

I wasn't allowed to walk that night - but I was alowed out of bed and into a chair, so I did do that. I was up and out of bed, freed from my cathetar at 10am the next morning, and off to the regular floor - in a wheel chair. Immediately clear liquids were delivered (once dining found me - I don't think they like it when the patient gets moved while they are delivering breakfast).

I asked about the other RNY patient - who was the 7:30 am surgery - she stopped into see me a little while later. The toughest part about the first 24 hours was a bad migraine, which isn't uncommon for anyone who already has migraines. The anesthesia triggers them and the IV pain medications also contribute. As soon as it was possible, I switched to the liquid pain medications - and a does of Imitrex quelled the migraine finally. I got up and went for several walks Tuesday and more on Wednesday.

Right from post surgery on Tuesday Dr M indicated he would probably keep my until Friday because I would be starting on blood thinners before I left the hospital, so I wasn't planning on coming home then. So, when Thursday morning came and he started Lovenox and Coumadin, it wasn't a shock when he said he would see me Friday morning, I wasn't upset. I had some stuff with me to keep me busy and again, the nurses on the short stay surgical floor were excellent. So, I kept walking, a little longer each time, and keeping myself occupied. Too bad daytime television is sooo boring - especially when the TV schedule is different that where you live so you don't know when anything is on!! The other RNY patient did get to go home - that was a little sad for me, but great for her.

Friday morning a phlebotomist walked into my room, turned the overhead light on (at SIX AM) and said "Are you Diane?" (yes, thanks for asking and warning me about the bright light before waking me up!!!) She drew a few tubes of blood and left - she was the one and only person I encountered who didn't really seem to care about patient comfort.

Dr M came in around 10 to tell me I was anemic and my H/H levels were down and he was concerned it was due to the blood thinners and a possiblity of internal bleeding. He then told me there was a possibility of another day in the hospital, I stayed outwardly calm, but was inwardly dissapointed. Dr M is concerned about what is best for each patient, and I just kept telling myself, this is best for me. He said he would draw blood again at noon, and if the levels didn't decrease, I could still go home. My mom was already almost at the hospital to pick me up - she wasn't going to be happy ... in fact I was afraid she might just be annoyed. 

I went for a walk, found my mom while wandering the hallways. Let her in on the "good" news, and we waited. Mom mentioned there was a book fair in the lobby, so I got permission to walk down there to look around (promising to be back in time for my blood draw. I found a really nice picture frame - the kind that holds kindergarten through graduation photos - so I picked up 2 - one for each of my kids. My daughter just graduated this year. I'm missing one school photo because it was never taken in 11th grade - but I will figure something out. I bought them both so they will match.

They didn't draw my blood until 12:30 - so my mom was irritated. She has very little patience, which funny for a nurse - you would think she would  be more understanding. But they said they results should only take 10 - 15 minutes. About 25 minutes later I was given the OK to pack up. I didn't even have to ride out in a wheel chair because I had already walked to the lobby.

The 1-hour car ride was a little rough. Mom has never had surgery, and I'm pretty sure she hit every pot hole and man hole cover on the drive home. She also locked the pillows I brought in the trunk and didn't even consider letting me have them. Nurses aren't the most sympathetic parents.

I got some decent sleep last night, some in bed, some on the couch. Getting back out of bed required a little bit of help, but day by day the pain is getting better. Out of the six incisions, only one hurts, it's the "big" one, that is about 2 inches long and on the left middle. It goes always very deep - Dr M said it's totally expected that it should be sore and feel crampy for awhile.

I started full liquids today. Small amounts, and constantly sipping clear liquids to stay hydrated. Still waiting for a BM - I didn't start having gas until Friday, so I think this will help things along. I am not sure what I do and do not feel in this new pouch yet, so tiny sips, and taking it slow. No desire to test this pouch - not now, and hopefully not every. It's my plan NOT to throw up, not now, not soon, NOT EVER.

All in all, the post surgery pain isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's there, but it's getting better each day. And since the IV has been out since Thursday morning, I'm not worried about dehydration anymore. I'm starting my new food journal today - to track protien, supplements, liquids.

I'm up 8 pounds from my surgery day weight - but there is quite a bit of swelling in my stomach and even my hands are swollen. I checked in with the Drs office and they said some people do go up a little before their fluids regulate.

They told me in the hospital that there is NO REASON to worry about getting enough to eat - those of us who are 100 pounds over weight ( ... or more ... ) have over SIX MONTHS of stored reserves. I assume that is one reason the supplements are very important.

I'll check back soon ... now, go away 8 pounds, it's time for me to start my journey to a normal weight! Assuming this 8 pounds is just fluid (how can it not be? All I've had is IV fluids and Vitamin Water?!?) This time next week I should be dropping below 300 pounds - soon to be followed by my first 100 pounds LOST - and I am NEVER finding them again! TTYS!