Christine H.

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Well, I had the flu from hell and have been bed-bound for almost a week... it was terrible, but I survived and actually made it to a Jazzercise class tonight... the class was draining, but at least I did not pass out from physical exhaustion...

I missed all of my OA meetings this week because of my illness and I almost felt naked... I have come to enjoy them and depend on them for support... they do focus on God a lot, but I can handle it... Do NOT get me wrong, it is not that I do not believe in God, but I prefer to use the term "Higher Power" which OA does use occassionally.  I had one bad binging day this past week when I went to Wendy's and ordered 2 chicken breast sandwiches and ate them both in one sitting... GOD, I felt like such a pig... a fat, disgusting pig... this is what worries me about having the surgery because what do I do when I get the urge to binge... that is why I think that it is important to take these OA classes now and learn to control my eating with direction and support...

I went to Weight Watchers on Monday, sick as a dog, and lost 8.2 pounds... the only reason I lost so much is because I have been so sick and not eating... this coming Monday will be the true test... did I lose more or did I gain back all of the water weight that I lost... How embarressing to go to Weight Watchers and GAIN weight... UGH, I have a bad feeling...

That's all that is going on my life right now... OH yeah, my grandmother went to St. Vincent Charity Hospital with me for the pre-operative meeting... she was bored the entire time and the meeting was poorly run, but I am glad that she went, it is a step in the right direction...

Much Love... Christine

So, I went to a weight watchers meeting on Monday and a Jazzercise and an Overeaters Anonymous meeting yesturday.  I have been a busy beaver!  I did this for my grandma to prove to her that I can make it all work after surgery.  She is afraid that I am going to eat my way out of my surgery after the 1st year and I keep telling her that I won't do it!!!  So, weight watchers is for now so that I can continue to lose weight before surgery.  Jazzercies and OA are for post-surgery when I might begin to struggle with binging habits again.  Jazzercise just keeps my fat ass moving around a little bit so I'm not a bowl of flabby jello after surgery.

My sleeping has been eratic, but steady!  It's better than nothing!  OA was really interesting and of course, being the big baby that I am, I balled my eyes out when it came time for me to talk... OA is very similiar to AA... u follow the say rules or guide to recovery... it was interesting!  You introduce yourself and then your disease... "Hi, my name is Christine and I'm a compulsive overeater."  It's not easy at 1st to say those words, but as you begin to understand your disease, it becomes easier to say the words...

Jazzercise ROCKED!!!!!!!  I am sore today, but it's all worth it, I lost 2 pounds... woo hoo!  The closer I get to 250, the closer I get to my surgery.  There is another Jazzercise class tonight, but I can't go because I will be at St. Vincent's Charity Hospital for my pre-operative meeting, which my grandma MAY go to, but I doubt it... if she does go, trust me, she will make my life a living hell

That's it for now... so, I will catch up again soon... Christine

Another nite of no sleep and I do not know what to do.  I am so depressed about not being able to have my surgery yet and I stress about it often.  I should have had my surgery at the Cleveland Clinic last year, but they totally screwed me over, so now I am waiting to get clearance over at St. Vincent Charity in Cleveland.

GOD, I hate the Cleveland Clinic for doing what they did to me... it is a long story and maybe one day when I feel so inclined, I will tell you the story, but it is a long one and I am too tired right now.  If it wasn't for their incompetance I would have already had the surgery and been on my way to a better me!

How do you add pictures into your blog?  Just curious... Christine