dragonlady004

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 yeah for me today made one week since my surgery:-P !!!!!!!!! i have had some problems with coughing but doing good down to 279 

 WELL, AS OF NOW I AM ABOUT 16 HOURS AWAY FROM SURGERY!!! AFTER 12 YEARS OF FIGHTING FOR THIS, THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME!!!!
I have finally come to my time! I am so happy, yet so scare at the same time. So today in order to keep my mind off things I am trying to get the house cleaned, clothes washed, bag packed, car ready to leave out before the sun comes up in the morning.

I have allot of things running through my head today here are some of them...

Will I learn to love myself?
How will I look?
Will all the pain finally go way?
Will my husband look at me different?
Will my friends treat me different?
How do you live as a normal size person?
Will I like shopping for new clothes?  (because right now I don't, I order from online so I don't have to go to the store)

I have had allot of friends go through all this already and they say it is normal..but I have seen how they turned out.. I have some that are the same but just smaller, I have a few that went through a really bad depression, I have one that turned into in a party girl...I have seen marriages end because of it, I have seen marriages get stronger.

My husband has been scared of losing me, but if I don't do this then it is postive he will lose me to health issues. He has been worried that I will lose weight lose interest in him and leave.. He is worried about how people will react to me in the new body.  I am worried that he will lose interest in me..I have always been fat and he loved me was who I was not the body I was in.. Is that going to stay the same??

I know that this seems silly to be thinking of things like this but they just keep popping in my head.. Last night my son told me it was going to be weird to have a smaller mom. anyways time to get up and get some more stuff done around this house..I have to keep busy today or I think I will go nuts!!!!

 Well, I started trying to WLS 10 years ago. I came very close one, I had my approval and date....then Hurricane Katrina hit and took it away from me. For almost the past 2 years I have been jumping through hoops to get everything done the insurance company wants. found out after my first 6 months of diet with the doctor that he did not write the notes right! Had to redo them again.. well, just found out today that he screwed them up again.. I have to redo them for 3rd. time.. this time with a new doctor...In Jan of this year we thought we had it all ready been fighting insurance company who says the doctor did not send in my pack.. then fighting with the OLD surgerons office saying they did.. found out this week they only sent a coversheet!!! 6 more months wasted! Finally got all my paperwork sent to the NEW surgerons off to find out the OLD DIET doctor scewed up again. He did not even sign the notes, and his handwriting was so bad they could not even read it! So I have to start again!! Hell at this rate I could have just paid cash for the surgery for the amount I have spent on doctor visits!!!!!  and now my phyc. evel will be out of date so I will have to do it again!!!!  I am just so tired!!! I am sick and tired of getting my hopes up only to be let down again.... at this rate I will die from all the health issues caused by me being fat before I can get some help...  well crying again so going to bed!