Emelly23
My Nerves...
Oct 12, 2011
So I'm not due to have surgery for about 4 more mts. With my insurance I'm required to do the 6 mt diet plan. I keep going back and forth on if surgery is the right way to go. I keep wondering am I taking the easy way out, what if I die during surgery, what if the surgery doesn't change my eating habits and I don't lose any weight, what if I miss eating and regret my decision?
So then I have the self motivating talk with myself and I have an answer to all of these questions...No I'm not taking the easy way out, I've struggled my whole life with weight and after having 3 children, my weight has gotten out of control. I want to be active with my kids and I want to enjoy my life. Neither of those things are happening right now. Easy way out...yea right this is one of the scariest things I've ever decided to do and I know I'm still going to have to work at being healthy.
What if I die during surgery, well I could die driving in my car. Life is full of risk but i feel if I don't do the surgery I'm going to die from being overweight.
Ive been told by multiple people that I wont physically be able to eat as much as I do now. My problem is portion control. I'm excited that after surgery ill be able to eat like a normal person does. Over eating is what got me to where I am today, I don't need all the extra food and calories. I don't need to eat 5 pieces of pizza for dinner. I don't need to eat 2 cheeseburgers for lunch.
I'm also so scared of losing my hair and getting dehydrated and becoming malnourished that i have a feeling I'm going to be a stickler on what I should and should not be doing...I'm not going to lie I am still going to eat pizza, but for the most part I'm such a hypochondriac that I know I will eat and drink what will make me healthy. That part I'm not to worried about.
I don't think I'm going to regret my decision. I'm 28 and I'm tired of being the fat girl. I'm tired of strangers asking me if I'm pregnant! I'm tired of being embarrassed for my family to have to be seen with me. I don't want my children's friends to see me in fear that they will be like that's your mom! I know that I'm being slightly dramatic but its how I feel. I want to go back to school but I'm scared to be around a bunch of skinny hot 20 yr old and what if I cant fit in a desk? Things that normal people take for granted I worry about. I want to take my kids to Disneyland but I cant get on the roller coasters because the bar wont close. I never thought id be this girl but here I am and I'm not happy anymore. I feel like I'm missing out on so much.
One other thing, support groups and talking to people on here really reassures me that I'm doing the right thing.
0 comments
So then I have the self motivating talk with myself and I have an answer to all of these questions...No I'm not taking the easy way out, I've struggled my whole life with weight and after having 3 children, my weight has gotten out of control. I want to be active with my kids and I want to enjoy my life. Neither of those things are happening right now. Easy way out...yea right this is one of the scariest things I've ever decided to do and I know I'm still going to have to work at being healthy.
What if I die during surgery, well I could die driving in my car. Life is full of risk but i feel if I don't do the surgery I'm going to die from being overweight.
Ive been told by multiple people that I wont physically be able to eat as much as I do now. My problem is portion control. I'm excited that after surgery ill be able to eat like a normal person does. Over eating is what got me to where I am today, I don't need all the extra food and calories. I don't need to eat 5 pieces of pizza for dinner. I don't need to eat 2 cheeseburgers for lunch.
I'm also so scared of losing my hair and getting dehydrated and becoming malnourished that i have a feeling I'm going to be a stickler on what I should and should not be doing...I'm not going to lie I am still going to eat pizza, but for the most part I'm such a hypochondriac that I know I will eat and drink what will make me healthy. That part I'm not to worried about.
I don't think I'm going to regret my decision. I'm 28 and I'm tired of being the fat girl. I'm tired of strangers asking me if I'm pregnant! I'm tired of being embarrassed for my family to have to be seen with me. I don't want my children's friends to see me in fear that they will be like that's your mom! I know that I'm being slightly dramatic but its how I feel. I want to go back to school but I'm scared to be around a bunch of skinny hot 20 yr old and what if I cant fit in a desk? Things that normal people take for granted I worry about. I want to take my kids to Disneyland but I cant get on the roller coasters because the bar wont close. I never thought id be this girl but here I am and I'm not happy anymore. I feel like I'm missing out on so much.
One other thing, support groups and talking to people on here really reassures me that I'm doing the right thing.
