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Since I haven't really done it in a very long time, I decided to put some totals on my losses:

 

Weight lost: 145.3 lbs

Inches lost:

Neck: 2.5 inches

Chest: 8 inches

Under breast: 4 inches

Upper Arms: 5 inches

Lower Arms: 2 inches

Waist: 11 inches

Hips: 17 inches

Thigh: 10 inches

Calf: 4 inches

Ankle: 4 inches (this is only important to me because I have lymphodema and any consistent change here is good!)

Total inches lost: 67.5 inches!

 

The scale has been frustrating ever since I have had to start traveling to prepare for my new job (I am finished here on June 21 and move June 30, starting my new job July 1).  But I was given advice:  If I can maintain while traveling almost every weekend for 5 months, I am doing good.  Putting the losses together in terms of inches helps!

I am thinking about starting to get serious about training for figure competitions.  I know that the only way I could compete is to actually have skin removal surgery (which I don't know when I will be able to afford it), but the training and getting toned and fit is really my goal anyway.  I learned how to do jump squats today and they don't bother my knees, so I will be adding those to my workout routine and that should help not only by upping the calories burned, but by also helping me build the muscles in my legs that I need for cardio work. 

I did run my first race since the surgery.  It was a 1-miler and I ran probably 1/3 of it.  But what I am proud of is that the last time I did a race (3 years ago), it was a 5K and it took me 1 1/2 hours to finish.  So my average speed was 2 mph.  This race was only a mile, but I finished it in 19:13.  That means that my speed was a little over 3 miles an hour.  MUCH Better!!!!!  I have a second race the weekend I am moving and I am hoping to run half of it.  I hope that the jump squats, along with the rest of the revved up training I am doing, will help me accomplish that.  My goal for the next year is to shave another 5 minutes off my 1-mile time.

On Saturday, I ran (yes, ran) in my first race in 3 years!  My hometown of Midland, MI has a series of races every year that is sponsored by Dow Chemical Corporation called the Dow Run/Walk.  There are several races including a 1-mile run, 5K run, 5K walk and 10K run.  I did the 5K walk 3 years ago when I was probably close to my highest weight.  My average speed per mile was 2 mph.  I came in well after everyone else and by the time I finished, I was in so much pain I can't even describe.  I did two more 5Ks that summer before my feet and knees just gave up on me.  That was the end of my racing until this year.

On Saturday, I chose the 1-mile because I know it's a distance that I can comfortably complete.  And I wanted to see what I could do with the running.  I managed to run about 1/3 of the race and had a final time of 19:13.  For me, that's great because it's almost 10 minutes faster per mile than the last race I was in.  Granted, I walked those races and I was hauling almost 150 more pounds around, but considering the issues with my knees, the fact that I could run any of it is great!

I am considering doing another 1-mile race on June 29th.  This is the Purell Women Who Run race in Cleveland, OH.  I am supposed to be moving that weekend, however, I am getting a pod, so I should have a lot moved already.  John is encouraging me to go for it.  I think that means that I should find someplace to work on my running as I still can only do .1 mile bursts at the moment.  I guess I could drive up and use the track near my old parking garage.  Or go over to Veale and use the indoor track (which might be the better choice since today it's going to be almost 90!)

It's hard to say how things finally fall into place, but I am not questioning things. I mentioned in my last post that I was waiting to hear about e new position. Well, I heard and I am now Saginaw Valley State University's newest tenure track assistant professor of accounting. I have spent the last couple years wondering why I made the decisions I did and why my boss was so irresponsible. But I am a firm believing that things happen for a reason. If my boss had published evern one of my papers, I would have never gone looking for this job, so in the end, I have to thank him. I cannot wait to move home and get started teaching!

So, one of my major goals was to get past my highest weight before I got married the first time.  I am happy to say that as of last Saturday, I have officially reached that goal!  I weighed in at 218.2 at Weight Watchers on Saturday.  My highest weight before my first marriage was 220. 

Oh yes, did I mention that I joined Weight Watchers?  Yes, I finally hit that plateau and then started gaining.  I put on 5 pounds because of bad grazing/not recording habits I picked up over the holidays.  I knew I needed to get it under control and the #1 way to get me back on track is having to stand in front of someone and weigh in.  I think the one thing I would change about follow-up following surgery is to allow for monthly weigh-ins.  I haven't seen the doctor in almost six months and it's easy to get too comfortable.  If you've gone through all of that, they should at least work a little harder to make sure you make it to your goal!

I am now wearing size 14 dresses:  Yes, you read that right.  I cannot believe it myself.  I can almost fit into the dress I wore to graduation and I am still 90 pounds away from what I weighed then.  Speaks very loudly of how baby fat affects your shape!  AND I will never see that weight again because it is no longer in my healthy weight range.  I am 53.2 pounds away from my goal weight for the skin surgery.  I am hoping that is also my goal weight for having my knees replaced, but that will have to wait until I get settled in my new job.  I will have the "privilege" of finding a new doctor to help me out no matter which job I choose because I will no longer be in Cleveland.

On the job front:  I am waiting to hear whether I have an Assistant professor, tenure track position in accounting.  I have every intention of doing what I have to to get a faculty accounting position.  The future is just so much brighter in that field.  In science I have to rely on getting grants to assure I have a job.  And quite frankly, that is getting harder and harder every day because of this contentious Congress we have.  In Accounting, I just have to teach and do research.  Works for me!  So if you could, think good thoughts for me getting that position.  It would make life so much easier and put me 1 1/2 hours away from my husband instead of 8 (the other position is at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore).

There is a significance to the number 60 in my weight-loss journey. It is the highest member of pounds I was ever able to lose whenever I tried a new diet. It is the amount of weight I lost to fit into the wedding gown I made the first time I got married. Well, today, it is what I need to lose to be at goal weight. That is why I say I'm in the home stretch. I can seethe light at the end of the tunnel!

After a long, rather hard holiday week (my car was totally Christmas Eve), I arrived home and decided to go through my pants drawer finally.I had thought I had given away all of my clothes from when this journey started. I was wrong. I found a pair of size 34W jeans I was wearing when I first met with my bariatric surgeon. Today, when I put them on, I fit in one leg!I also had been searching for my smaller swimsuit (a size 18 Speedo I knew I had) in the bottom of that drawer. I tried it on and it looked so good I posted a picture on FB! Imagine that! Of course, I don't include my legs in pictures like that. I do worry that they will never look normal again. But I look like a swimmer again. Check the picture out in my gallery.

Last week, after doing a sing-out at a local mall, I decided it was time to try on my size 20W pants again.  Lo and behold, they fit.  So, that night, I spent my time hemming them (Fashion Bug was out of the 20WP pants when I bought them).  This is a huge milestone for a couple reasons.  First, it means I am on the verge of being "normal" sized again.  Only 1 or 2 more sizes until I can walk into a regular Misses store and buy all of my clothes there!  Second, and even bigger, I am now smaller than I was when I got married the first time at 23.  Okay, that's not completely a true statement.  I have another 70 pounds to go before I am the same weight, however, I am wearing smaller sizes NOW than I did when I got married.  So, now, I am beginning to wonder just what size I will be when I reach my goal of 165 pounds, AND what size I will be after they remove the skin.  My mind just cannot wrap around either of those.

As mentioned, this past week was my singing week.  We had our holiday concert on Friday (Dec 14).  I work a crocheted dress over pants (they made a last minute decision that we would wear pants for this concert - so now I have to find a use for that black dress). The dress was sleeveless and I am not really comfortable showing off my arms yet, so I found this really cute crocheted shrug to wear over the dress at the Goodwill.  The outfit was not only cute, but brought a ton of comments ranging from: "look how petite you are!" to "Young lady, you need to gain some weight" from our accompanist's husband (that comment gave me a lot of insight into her weight issues, and it makes me a little sad because 2 years ago, she lost about 50 pounds and was looking really great. She has since gained all of it back).  I love how I looked in the outfit and would wear it again in a heartbeat!  I will be sure to post a picture in my gallery.

But that brings me to the newest, most interesting milestone: one that I NEVER in my wildest dreams would have thought would happen to me.  The use of the term "petite" to describe me.  I have NEVER thought of myself as being petite.  Even in high school when I was 128 lbs and wore a size 8, I never thought of myself as petite.  I think that comes from the fact that I am so much taller than most of the women in my immediate family.  My mom's mom was 4'9", my mom is 4'10 1/2", my sister is 5'.  I am almost 5'5"....close enough that most doctors over the years have given me the 5'5" label (I am actually 5'4 3/4").  As far as I know, 5'5" is the TOP of the petite scale and I just never really thought I fit that genre.  However, in my shopping and such, I have learned a lot about my shape and how to minimize it's issues (I am VERY pear shaped).  One of the things I have discovered is that petite tops cut me in a much better, more flattering place (at the thinnest part of my hips) than average tops (which cut me at the widest part of my hips).  The illusion makes me look longer and thinner.  And for some reason, pants are being cut longer, so petited lengths are now just about perfect for my out-of-proportion short legs (I actually have a very long torso).  So, most of my shopping these days has been in the petites departments.  But even then, I still have never thought of myself as petite.  Well, this weekend, EVERYONE was out to convince me otherwise.  I had the word petite associated with my figure no less than 6 times this weekend.  Alright already, I'm convinced.....and I like it! 

For fun, on Saturday, I went to a David's Bridal and tried on bridesmaid dresses.  There was an ulterior motive.  I no longer have a formal gown.  The one and only taffeta gown that I own is now irretrievably too big (I think it was a size 26).  And I like to have a formal gown in my wardrobe, just in case we go on a cruise or something (yes, I actually dress for formal night).  But I also wanted to go because the one thing I have NEVER done is get to try on wedding gowns.  I tried to when I got engaged the first time, but I was already too big (and in the 80's they didn't carry plus size gowns on the racks).  But before I built up the courage to actually go try on bridal gowns (because I will, just for the experience), I wanted to know where I stood in sizes for formal gowns.  I went through the racks and found dresses that I liked that I thought would fit me.  I had to laugh when the first salesperson told me to look for gowns that were 1 size bigger than my pant size.  I explained to her that would never do because I am 3 sizes smaller on top than the bottom and I prefer dresses with wider skirts because of it.  So I found dresses ranging from size 16-20 based on the shape of the dress.  As I tried each on, I discovered that A-line dresses are the best overall fit for me.  But even bigger, in an A-line gown, I wear a size 16!  Now, I have been in size 16 shirts for a couple months now (bordering on size 14 at this point), but I never thought that even in gowns with very poufy skirts, I would be able to wear a size 16 gown.  And I really wish I had had a camera at the point that I found the dress I would buy because it was stunning!.  It was a strapless A-line gown with embroidery across the bodice and down one side of the skirt.  There was ruching around the waist which easily covered the skin rolls, but made me look really "petite" (yup, there's that word again).  It was in this stunning rich brown with red undertones (the red really highlighted my hair) and it was stunning!  I know, I said that before, but really, that is the only way to describe it.  I am so tempted to go back with a camera just because it was amazing.  Oh, and did I say that I would still have to have the bust taken in?  Apparently, I am no longer a 40B.  Time for new bras and everything...ugh.

I am making myself have these experiences because they encourage me.  Every time I fit into a size I didn't expect to, or go down a size in clothes, it just encourages me to keep on going.  My next challenge is to try to go cross-country skiing over Christmas break.  I don't know if we will get lucky enough to have the snow for that, it's been another unusually mild winter so far, but that is the plan right now.  If we can't do that, I am going to take a look and find something similar to do.  Just so I can see if I can do it.  The time to be afraid of trying things is over...it's time to get out there and work on my bucket list!

 

So, I was surprised and happy to see that my scale tipped at below 240 this morning.  Surprised because I am in the last week of my cycle and I am normally retaining a ton of water.  Happy because it's another decade ticked off.  Oh, yeah, and it means I get to tick off another goal.  I am no longer "morbidly obese".  While I despise the BMI scale for what it doesn't tell you, getting below that level that says "morbidly obese" and just being "obese" is a huge accomplishment.  I now have less than 20 pounds to go before I get to my "highest weight" before my first wedding.  At that point, all I have to get to is my first wedding weight.  Then I get to talk to the surgeon about skin removal.

Of course, that whole concept is pretty much blowing my mind as well.  It's hard to believe, that for the first time since I hit puberty, I will have a flat stomach.  I can picture that about as well as I could picture myself not have gaps between my front teeth.  Although, the upper gap is gone now and the lower is well on it's way to being closed as well.  So, I am guessing that for Christmas next year, I will have a completely new me!

I spent Thanksgiving being praised for my "will power" and being told that I have lost an adult.  I tried to explain to them that it has very little to do with will-power.  I just physically cannot eat as much as I could before.  And as to the adult thing, I am quickly approaching having lost my high-school self. At 239.2 this morning, I am now down 122.1 lbs.  When I graduated from high school, I weighed 128 lbs.  So, it is very, very close.  Quite possibly something I could achieve this month.  What an achievement that would be!  It's just so unnerving to me how close I am to finishing this battle and how well I have been able to maintain my diet as a healthy one.  I am getting there and am now trying to figure out what I want to do first when I get there!

 

 

I didn't mention that at my six month follow-up, we had a discussion about goal weight.  I had originally decided that I would shoot for 160, but in the process of reading my paperwork, I saw that they would want me to get to 155.  So I had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to lose more than I had planned. 

At the appointment, however, the bariatric nurse took a look at where the hanging skin was on my legs and abdomen and she told me that when we do the plastic surgery to remove skin late next year (assuming I stay on track), I will probably have 10-15 pounds of skin removed, so she revised my goal back up to 165.  So according to that, I only have about 85 pounds to lose.  That puts me way over halfway there!  What a great thing to learn!!!!

It's crazy because I actually can foresee getting to my goal weight now.  That 250 lb mark was so important to my weight-loss outlook.  I know that I can do this.  Even though I am in my monthly hormone slump.  I anticipate that things will keep moving in the right direction and I have newfound confidence in myself.

So much so, that tomorrow, I am going to audition for Master Chef!  Yep, you heard me right.  I love to cook and have been writing my cooking blog for 2 years now.  I have learned a lot about using ingredients that I am not familier with and adapting recipes to the ingredients I have and to my tastes.  I really think that it would be a wonderful thing to have a chance to at least try to put myself out there and see what I can do.  So, tonight, when I get home, I am going to set myself to making the most amazing vichyssoise I possibly can, since we got potatoes and leeks in the last bag.  They do not have kitchen facilities at the open calls, so I figure better to go with a dish that is supposed to be served cold.  And it can be impressive to serve if you can do a fancy swirl with the cream and have fresh chives to garnish.  I am praying I can do this dish justice!  So exciting!

 

 

As I lose weight and need to change up my wardrobe, I am finding that I need to go shopping.  The dreaded "shopping".  I have generally hated shopping so much that my mom used to run around introducing me as her "non-shopping" daughter.  I just hated it.  The lighting in the dressing rooms is harsh, I get overheated, and NOTHING fits!  Well, that's the past, I guess.  I am proud to say that not only did I go shopping this weekend, but for the first time in decades, I went shopping in a store that only carries missus sizes!  What a neat concept.  And I learned a lot.

I didn't just look at things and think "gosh, that's cute hanging there, let's try it on".  Okay, I did a little of that.  But I went through the store and picked out things that I thought might look good on me.  I found out that I don't know what looks good on me just by looking at a piece of clothing on a hanger.  I also found out that I look better in some colors than others and the "old rules" about neutrals on redheads don't necessarily apply.  So, here we go, here's what I learned this weekend:

First store: Coldwater Creek
I have always loved the clothes in this store, but never really have been able to wear them.  What emboldened me was the dress in my last picture.  That is a Coldwater Creek dress.

I do not necessarily always look good in purple/pink:



And sometimes, you have to go smaller than you think (this is a size 16!!!!!)



I did buy the rust coat.  The pink/purple jacket just washed me out and clashed with my hair.  It was cute, but not for me.

Store #2: Christopher and Banks

I was actually on my way to CJ Banks (across the street), but decided it was time to go to a regular store.  I'm glad I did because now I know I can!

Lessons:
While V-neck is generally thought to be the most flattering neckline



The overall fit of the shirt is sometimes more important



Neutrals, while versatile, can actually wash you out



While for some reason, gray is and always has been a good color for me





Blocky is DEFINITELY not a flattering style for me



And even though something looks super cute on the hanger, it won't necessarily look super cute on you



To be fair, that last sweater, if it had been petite, I think would have been super cute on me.  However, since it wasn't, it cut my hips at the widest point which is never flattering on a woman.

I learned a lot and it will help me shop for efficiently next time.  I only ended up buying the red T shirt and the gray sweater at this store, but I had fun and think that I might actually learn to enjoy shopping someday.