Kimberly E.

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 Phew!  Apparently I needed the threat of an approaching surgery to get myself on track.  That's right!  My plastic surgery is scheduled October 20th, 2008, exactly two weeks from today.  At the surgeon's office 2 weeks ago, the scale read 154!!!  OMG! How did that happen???  (Well, it didn't help that it was 4pm and they made me where my shoes!!@$$)  Anyway, doc tells me I need to focus on high protein to aid in my healing after surgery, and would you believe it, I listened!  I've been cutting the carbs in favor of higher protein foods and snacks and voila!  Down at least 7lbs since then!  I just hope the doc isn't concerned that I lost so fast... I think alot of it was probably fluid.  Then again, it may just be that the last 6 months were some kind of a plateau, because I haven't dropped weight fast like this in a long time.  It seems to me that my body was somehow *ready* to drop again...  Either way, I'm excited.  I feel healthier and my skin is certainly more loose, which should make my results better.  (For enquiring minds, I'm having an LBL and BL).

Wish me luck, friends!

Moving right along.

  

Today is my day to get honest with myself.  I have been irresponsible.  I've been ignoring the gift I was given, sabotaging my tool, and neglecting my health.  I've been eating too much, and eating all wrong.  I haven't exercised since May.  I've been sneaking caffeine, and drinking with meals...   So why then is it so hard for me to accept that my weight has crept up 5 lbs... I deserve this.  This is reality.  Regardless, I'm in tears.  I'm posting on my blog but still not able to face my OH friends on the boards...  The truth really does hurt, and I'm not ready for more pain just yet.

I'm realizing that I am more afraid than sad.  Seeing the scale creep up has me petrified that I will lose all control and wind up fat again... I can't let that happen.  I never ever want to be that girl again...

The sad part is, something about the fear is more paralyzing than motivating.  I'm so afraid that I'm having trouble just taking the first step.  I did have a yogurt for breakfast, though... and I did take the stairs today... and one way or another, I'm buying an elliptical.  It's just too hard to get to  the gym... Now to convince Tony there's room in our garage for it (where we have a TV and a radio!)   If I can get myself committed to getting back on track by tonight, I'm afraid he's going to be pretty upset by what is *left* in our food cupboards when he gets home!!!


Wish me luck,
Kimberly

Where may you ask?  Perhaps in the mud?  Or behind a wall of shame composed of candy wrappers?  Or trapped under something heavy, ie, me??  

Sadly, all are true... I am terribly stuck at 150lbs... I saw 147 for a brief moment, but since New Years and 152, the progress has been back and forth from 148-150 instead of down, like it should be...

What does my always supportive and terribly too honest boyfriend say??  That I shouldn't be upset since "I'm not making any effort to change it!!!"  

Doesn't he understand that I am making tremendous efforts?  I *think* about exercising nearly every day... do you know what kind of energy that takes???

Ok, so seriously friends:  I am stuck, stalled, plateauing, you name it, at this dreaded 150 place... not that there is anything wrong with 150, I would just like a number in the 130's so much more...

But really, this is all an illusion, because there is really nothing "stuck" about my scale, and in reality, the only problem is with my attitude and conviction - they are definitely stuck in a place of ammotivated, carbohydrate consuming apathy...

I know what I need to do:  I need to stop caffeine again... for me, it's an addiction as bad as any other (ok maybe not quite as bad as a combined heroin/crack habit, but it's bad).  For me, caffeine cravings drive carb cravings and destroy any chance that I will actually move my no-longer fat but definitely flat butt off of the sofa to get some exercise.  

So, with these revelations sprinkled with my own wisdom and insight, I will now undertake the unsticking of my attitude in a heroic effort to see the 130's by my surgiversary.  I think I could use a cheering section, BTW!!!

:)

Hello friends, 
As you all know, I am a terrible procrastinator, so I haven't updated since July... Here is the scoop for enquiring minds:

I lost 85lbs in 2007.  I've got 15 left to go to get to my goal of 100lbs lost and 137 lbs.  My New Year's resolution is to make that happen... I wear between a size 8 and a size 10 jeans, though a couple 6's have made it into my wardrobe - WOW!!!

Let's see, what else can I tell you?  All is going well, I've gotten much better about getting protein in, and I take my vitamins every day, though I never remember my synthroid.  My B12 and Vit D levels are great, my iron is rotten but those pills make me gag!!! I'd rather be ghosltly than take those things, YUCK!   But I'm hanging in there and this pouch of mine and I have found a way to coexist.

My son is three and a half now, still gorgeous (more family pics coming soon) but he is less enamored of mommy now and more interested in Transformers and friends and what have you (he actually says "Mom, I need some space..."  can you believe that?

Oh and in other news, I am no longer an anti-man-single-mother-working physician... now I'm just the single mother working physician part.  I met Tony and would you believe it, he may just be the love of my life... Stay tuned for all the sexy details in future updates.

Love you guys and thanks for the ongoing and invaluable support!!!

:) Kimberly

A friend of mine told me today that he'd been spying on me, and noticed I hadn't updated my profile in a while... so here goes...

I guess I'm at about 7 weeks out now.  I think i'm doing wonderfully.  The first month was awful... I kept asking myself why I had done this to myself.  I hated the food I could eat, and when I tried to eat the food I wasn't supposed to eat, I'd get sick (duh!).  But all that is changing now.  I manage to stay hydrated, I tolerate most solid foods, as long as I remember to chew them... and I figured out how to get along with my new tummy.  We still bicker mind you... and occasionally we have some heated disagreements... but overall we're managing to coexist peacefully.  My tummy has agreed to compromise here and there, and allow my occasional bite of ice cream, and I have agreed to limit myself to that one bite, drink my water, and otherwise stick to my sugar-free lifestyle. 

I've lost about 30 lbs since surgery and have gone from my size 20 pants to a 14 -16 depending...  

So life is good, and I'd do it again...

More again in August!