FemmeMode
Hi my name is Deborah, I am 38 yo. I live in NYC, am married and have a daughter who is nearly 4yrs old.
My weight journey started when I a teenager, not obese, or severely overweight - but, a chubby girl. I struggled being bigger than my friends...and having a bit of a tummy...and all my friends were ‘sticks.’ I graduated at the weight of 188...which I considered HORRIBLE...and then in college gained the freshman 15 & decided I needed to start my first "official diet" - Nutra-System. I lost quite a bit of weight...and finally gained the attention from boys that I always missed...but then realized I had to work to keep every pound off...and then moment I stopped trying - and went off Nutra System....I gained it all back and more!
Over the next 6yrs. I gained a considerable amount of weight for various reasons...but all in all I struggled with it. Eventually I tried Phen Fen...and loved it. For the first time in my life I felt like "food" wasn’t the first thing on my mind! I actually had to remind myself to EAT! Then I had to start to exercise...and completed my weight loss with Weight Watchers. I lost a total of 120#’s...and was extremely proud of myself.
I began a fun time of dating...and going out with friends...and during this time stopped exercising...and being careful and rigid about what I ate...and started gaining weight little by little. Eventually I got engaged to my ‘Prince Charming’...and by our wedding I had gained 35#’s...and then another 15#’s on our honeymoon! Whew...and over the next few years BALLOONED!!
Over the 6yrs of our marriage I dieted sooo much, and probably did WW 3 or 4 times along with all the major fad diets...and even joined CURVES. Nothing worked for long...it was rather depressing. I finally convinced myself that, "this is the way I am"...and I’m loved and happy with my husband and marriage. It wasn’t until I went to a Landmark Education course called the FORUM in the summer of 2005 - that I ‘got real’ with myself.
It was all an act - I wasn’t happy...and actually had "taboo subjects" in my marriage...that would eventually be the demise of our relationship if I never let my Hubby express his thoughts and concerns about my weight...and what he thought & felt. I knew he loved me fully and completely...but, once I opened the topic I found he was extremely concerned about my health. I started seeing my family doctor for an illness...and it all ‘hit the fan’ when he expressed he thought my future was ‘grim’ if I didn’t lose a significant amount of weight.
After having this realization it sent me looking for a surgeon to have weight loss surgery. I originally was pursuing LapBand...but after consulting with my doctor - he felt like b/c of the amount of weight I had to lose, that LapBand would only help me lose about 60% - which would still leave me about 90#’s overweight! Ugh...just the thought. So, the next option was Gastric Bypass - Lap RNY. It would help me lose 85% of my excess weight - thus leaving me around 30#’s overweight...much more manageable. So with that - the decision was made!
I only had a minor amount of comorbidities...but, according to my surgeon and doctor - within 5 yrs. I would with out a doubt take more serious comorbidities on - and from there, "my future was grim." I currently had a very severe case of Sleep Apnea...and edema in my feet and legs. As well as the minor aches and pains, accompanied by incontinence at times of laughing or coughing. (This was very irritating and embarrassing.)
After meeting with my surgeon, Dr. Wade Barker...I began to do all I could to meet the insurance requirements. I began meeting with my doctor monthly...and a nutritionist/therapist monthly. Then I also had to do the 6mo. diet...which switched 2 or 3 times b/c I was sooo unmotivated and depressed. After meeting the 180 day requirement...my paperwork was submitted and I was finally approved...and then was able to get a surgery date scheduled. At times it felt like it would never happen....but finally on April 19th 2006, I had my Lap RNY surgery.
Now, nearly one year later...the journey has been mentally rough - and at times difficult to deal with physically. But all in all....I’ve lost 143#’s...and I’m thrilled with my progress...I still have 40#’s to go...so my journey is still not complete...but, more and more I feel like it’s possible to make it there!
That’s my story....thanks for reading.
