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I am a few days shy of my surgiversary...I have now had my gallbladder removed and am still having some sort of complication... I also do not know what I am doing wrong but other than obviously eating wrong... i think i am back to grazing as opposed to eating like i should be... since being sick from my gallbladder i developed a few other problems which are no slowly being taken care of little by little... my vitamins are no where, where they need to be... but since my insurance changed and i needed to find a new primary this one doesnt seem to want to do anything... she doesnt even believe that i have malnurishment issues... i didnt absorb iron prior to having rny let alone post surgery... thats why ive have 2 infusions already... so now im walking around severly anemic with no way of getting iron...

i have recently restarted school and now run into a little situation... im no longer a "stay at home mom" and cant just walk around and pass gas as i want like i did when i was home with my kids... so now that im getting out of the house again... i have started watching what im eating... but what im eating is now almost close to nothing... cheese and a slice of bread (which we all know i shouldnt be eating at all)... so now... my surgeons office doesnt accept my new insurance so i have no means of seeing a nutritionist... 

i have to retrain my body how to eat properly... and yet for some odd reason i cant even eat that much... like we get 30 mins for lunch forget me eating for that full 30 mins... i only get about 20.... and if it needs to be microwaved that cuts time down to about 10-15... i know of things that i could eat... its just that when its actually time to eat them they just dont seem so appitzing... and im not so sure why... me especially i need to be eating my protein but yet i have never been able to get it in... any form of a protein supplement has made me sick... no matter what it is... i have tried so many...

ok gotta cut it short to look for recipes... maybe i will find something...

So it has been another year... I now have two baby boys... and its all thanx to my gastric bypass... i have run into one complication now... my gallbladder needs to be removed... but still to this day i would do the surgery 10x over if i had to do it again... after the delivery of my 1st baby april 7, 2008... i got down to my goal weight i was at 125... i actually got down to 121.5... which was amazing... then i found out i was pregnant again... baby #2 was born july 29, 2009... also a baby boy... now almost a year later i am struggling with the last 10 pounds that i need to get off... i currently weigh 135-140... it fluctuates so much... i would like to get back down to about 125... and ill be happy anything else makes me look sick... my saggy stomach isnt too bad... i work on it at the gym doing crunches and that mainly all i do at the gym... i dont have too much time to be there... but other than that i am happy healthy and fine!!!

gl to those of you reading this and getting ready for surgery...

you can find me on facebook... florence banin... 

Well... I delivered my baby boy on april 7, 2008... if it wasnt for my gastric bypass surgery i wouldve probably never been in this situation!!!

the day of delivery i weighed in at 161... after delivery i was approx 150... then by july i was down to 121-125... it was amazing... everyone talks to me, they dont ignore me... it really sucks that people do treat me differently...

my son is almost 10 months old and i am pregnant with my 2nd... i am due aug 20, 2009... so far i have gained approx 10 pounds... but i am super bloated... i am eating right and trying to stay healthy during the pregnancy... i still do not want to return to my previous life...

So... i am almost done... all has been pretty well... i am feeling a lot better than i was... i still eat about the same amount... i have found a solution to my dehydration... i drink LOTS of hot tea... i love the taste and mmm... everything is good... other than that the baby was a little behind a while back but i got a scan 2 weeks ago and all was well he caught up a little bit... i have what i *think* is my last scan is on the 10th... i cant see myself getting anymore scans... i will be 36w5d... i will only have 3 weeks left... hmm im not sure what else to write...

I fit into a size 8 @ old navy... 8 1/2 months prego... so i must be tiny!!! i dont think i realize how small i really am... i fit into xs maternity jeans... and omg... i found my size 16's that i used to wear from target just because... i will have to take a pic of myself in them... but now i fit into a size 2 maternity pants from target... 

i will have to post some new pictures soon...

o0o0h... wow... where to begin... well at my last scan a couple days after my last post the baby was measuring almost 2 weeks behind!!! that made them a little concerned... so the peri requested another scan in 4 weeks to make sure everything is ok... they were very concerned with my low iron... so now i have an appt with a oncologist to begin iron infusion therapy... thats ok though... i will make it through... they also have me testing myself for my blood sugars to make sure they arent high... and they arent... usually 80-90 fasting and then 95-105 1 hour post my 1st bite... and 70-95 2 hours post my 1st bite... i will post how the iron therapy goes once i find out more...

as for me im doing so much better than the last time i posted... i swear i tried so hard to get pregnant and now that i finally am i dont think i ever realized how difficult it is to have all the weight focused in one spot... my belly... its not as easy as being overweight... im not saying that being overweight was easy but it didnt seem as hard as being pregnant... i run out of breath a lot faster now than when i was just fat... i mean my heart starts to race out of no where... lets just say its not as easy as i thought it was...

i am starting to eat more and more of the foods that i was restricted from... it makes it so much easier to get food in now... but i am noticing that since the baby is growing my stomach is getting smaller again!!! i guess because its compressed... i can still eat the white meat but not as easily as a couple weeks ago... but i am still happy with the results...

i can honestly say that i am so thank ful that i had the surgery... if it wasnt for this surgery my son wouldnt be on his way!!! i just wish it wouldnt have happened so fast so that i couldve enjoyed being skinny...

PS... i dont recommend the patch to any post op female even if you are under the 190 pound max... thats what i was on and not only were the side effects vicious but it didnt work!!!

Well i guess you can say its about time i've made another update... its been about 6 weeks but boy is there lots of changes..

so i have officially been able to start eating white meat again... its still a bit tricky but if i take it nice and slow i seem to do ok with it... i have managed to get more protein in... which is obviously a good thing... i am eating a bit more but not too much... i am up to a full egg... a large one.. not medium... but it still depends on how its cooked sometimes... i am at a full cheese stick... yummy...

as for those size 13 jeans from walmart... lol... they still fit... they are getting a bit tighter but they still fit over my big round belly... i actually just went to target and bought a size 2 maternity pants... and according to lots of other people their sizes are pretty close to "real-life" sizes... so thats a good thing... i did get my xs maternity jeans but they are starting to get really big on me too... i just dont get it...

i still have a few issues.. i did keep all of my "big-girl" clothes and thought that i would be able to grow into them... boy was i wrong... big people clothes are meant for weight to be distributed evenly... my weight is just mainly in my belly so it doesnt work!!! so i finally gave all my big girl clothes away... almost... i did keep some... hoping that i could wear them  when i am very prego but i still dont think that will happen either... oh and after being fat for so long... i thought being prego was going to be easy... oh no its not!!! maybe its because im still shrinking while baby is definately growing and i dont realize how much weight really is in my belly... but i am really struggling to get off the couch... lol... i mean i didnt have that problem when i was big... but i am dealing with it...

i did get to see the high risk dr and i go back on dec 31... i will probably update then... but all of the problems we thought i would have are no more... like i can eat regular meals now... and baby has enough fluid... and is growing on target...

gotta run time to go get breakfast...

How crazy... i felt the baby move on saturday night... it was so crazy... but it made it feel so much more real... i am just shy of being half way there... yay!!! 20 weeks this wednesday!!! how exciting...

there are a few issues still going on... but nothing much... i still havent really gained weight... but funny thing is i bought a pair of 13 jeans at walmart and they were kinda tight on me when i bought them... i was 160... but no belly... now i have this huge belly... ok its not so big... but the pants fall off of me... like i dont need to unbutton them to get then on and off... well besides me being 146 pounds now... does that mean that i will be smaller after the baby is born... i mean sheeeeeesh... i havent really gained a pound yet... and the baby keeps growing so obviously im eating enough or i have enough stored in my fat...

i also bought a pair of SMALL maternity jeans that umm were kinda tight when i bought them but now they are too big... i need and XS and they dont sell that size in the store and i really dont want to order pants...

so i bought the belly band but i havent used it yet... i did need it but i didnt like how my jeans looked on me with it on so i just wore sweats for a couple weeks... but now the jeans fit again with no problems...

oh wow... the miami trip is so close!!! i think 17 days away... i dunno what i am going to wear... i dont even want to pack until like the day before because i dont know how much bigger my belly will get... so far its been growing on target and at a nice size... but its just starting to look more like a pg belly than a fat beer belly...

i cant believe i am almost halfway there... after 6 years of infertility and meds and injections... i will finally get to meet my precious miracle... omg... i only have 20w2d to go... omg... it is getting so close... holy crap after miami i will be 24w... 2 weeks on vacation will take my mind off of being prego big time... omg... i wish i could wear something to show my belly off... but derr i just had surgery and if i get any stretch marks i dont want them to discolor... that way they fade quicker... it doesnt matter anyways i can wait until next summer to flaunt what i got!!!

my body has changed so much... i mean surgery isnt just the answer... its not like i wake up the day of surgery after the procedure and i am skinny again... no it took time... and i busted my ass to get down to 150 in less than 2 months... i followed the instructions!!! something that most people toss out the window... like my dad... he has more weight to lose than me... he should be loosing a lot faster than me too... but nope... he isnt because he is too busy eating high fat content foods... and food that he shouldnt be eating so much of... i knew he was going to take advantage... i mean he is down almost 50 pounds in almost 2 months but he shouldve been down atleast 75-85 pounds by his 2 month mark... in 2 weeks... he is not going to make that... he isnt even following the diet properly... i wasnt either but atleast i was following as much as i could... man that nausea was a bitch even before i was prego...

ehhh it just bothers me... he has it fixed in his head that 275-250 is a good weight for him... i honestly think that he could get down to 200-225 with all his extra skin and be done!!! he thinks that he wont get the plastic surgery but i know he will in the end everyone does... especially when u have to lug around an extra 20-25 pounds of skin everyday... ewww... ok enough of him more of me...!!!

so i already know that i still want the plastic surgery... i want my legs done... the inside of my thighs... the outside of my thighs to get the extra skin off... i think my belly might be ok but we will see after my last baby... i want 3 so thats far far far away... my boobs... i want them lifted and not have to wear a bra to make them look good type job... they are big enough i dont want any foreign objects in my body so no implants...!!! and my upper arms i want the skin removed from there too!!! its nasty how it just sags now... i dont show it off much... but i thought i was bad before its even worse now... its not fatty its just flabby... hmm... thats a lot of work... i guess we will see when the time really comes down to it what i will do... i am such a chicken... i fear the pain... but i guess after this baby i may not be such a chicken anymore...

oh wow... the more and more i type the more i realize how close i am to holding my baby!!!

i never heard back from the peri so i dunno if he wants to see me or not... i kinda hope not... but i kinda hope so because they have a better u/s machine and i will get more u/s if i do need to see him...

oh yeah and i bought a "magic bullet" omg... that thing is a lifesaver... i had protein shakes all weekend... so i know i didnt miss any protein this weekend... kinda crazy since no matter how i prepared whatever i made it seemed to tast nasty to me... but with the bullet omg... it was perfect!!!

well its getting better... i have been able to keep fluids down more often unfortunately not what i should be drinking but atleast i am getting fluids in... 

as for food i have officially started to eat chicken with no problems... wow... it was so long... i tried and tried and tried again but it just never went good with my tummy... i guess because of the high caloric density... it just took up too much room... but now i eat it and feel fine...

i have also been eating more meat... which is rare for me... i never liked protein in the first place... i mean i was never a big fan of meat... so now that i am almost 6 months p/o i figured i would give it a try again and omg... so yummy... lol... i made beef stew with beef, potatoes, celery, and carrots (another thing i didnt eat pre-op) but it was so yummy maybe because of how the beef was prepared and it was litterally falling apart at the touch... it sat well in my belly too...

as for my baby... its official its a boy!!!

he is healthy so far so good... drs arent worried about anything in particular yet... i am still seeing my reg ob... no peri yet and i am hoping to stay away...

All i can say when people say "it will be ok once you arent fat anymore" need to get smacked... other than me being pg right now... i really thought that most of my pcos symptoms would go away after surgery... oh wow!!! was that so untrue... a month later i still had cysts and when i found out i was pg i had 2 large cysts... my hair that i had removed with laser treatment is growing back...

dont get me wrong i am so happy i had the surgery... i think its because of surgery that i am pg now... but aside from the happiness i am still seriously depressed... i still see myself as being fat... i get more and more depressed everytime someone says "it will be ok now that you are smaller" and everytime i look at how i used to look... 

how could i even let myself get to that point??? what was i thinking...

ehhh today was just a bad day... probably not a good day to post... i will post when i am in a better mood... right now its almost 3am and cant even think about sleep...

Well, where do i begin... so my step brother shows me this picture his mom took of me a while back... i became nauseas to my stomach instantly... like never before... i cried as soon as he left... i couldnt believe i used to think i looked cute like that with my hair all done and everything else... i look like a fat cow... and to top it off i was eating in the pic... ugggh... just made me remember how i used to feel... how when i used to walk up the stairs that i would be out of breath... omg... to be honest i dont even want to write about it i will just post the before and afters... now i know i look nasty... but to be honest i never thought i looked that way when i looked in the mirror... and whats even more odd... is that my boyfriend said he never saw me like that... or atleast he doesnt remember me looking that way... but then again he also said he never judged me for the way i used to look he liked me for what was inside... he met me when i was already at my heaviest... its my soon to be ex husband that judged me because i gained weight after i got with him... but thats all in the past and i am over that...