freakyfrau

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

3 months shy of the 2 year anniversary of my surgery, I am weighing in at 161 lbs.  That's 250 lbs from the 411 lbs that I weighed on March 15, 2007.  I'm tiny.  I'm smaller than I've ever been in my entire life.  My husband can pick me up.  I don't think anyone has been able to pick me up since I was in kindergarten.  
I feel good.  I feel like a new person.  
I look awesome in clothes.  I look like the landlady from the movie Kingpin if I have no clothes on.  I have some seriously beautiful wings though.  My tattoos distract from the hanging skin on my arms.  I have no boob left.  I call what I have "boob skin bags."  It's funny to see when I squeeze it all together with spandex how the excess skin folds and stuff.  I try not to let it bother me.  My husband says I'm beautiful to him in every size, and that's all that really matters.  I think the skin is funny and I would like to have some of it removed eventually, so I can tighten it up and tattoo it!
I know the hard part starts now that I'm down to my goal weight.  I monitor my weight closely.  Of course now that I've lost all this weight, now my next goal is to try and get pregnant.  It's my resolution for 2009.  Figure out how to get me us a baby.  
 

Well it's been 5 months now. I've lost 105 lbs according to my physicians scales. I've gone from 411 to 306. I'll be under 300 lbs for the first time in more than 10 years in no time. I'm feeling great. My hair is falling out like crazy, but no biggie. It's been hard to eat with it being so damn hot. I've been drinking lots of milk to make up for what I'm just not able to eat. I tried to get a physical and a pap smear today. To my dismay I was told that they rescheduled me for tomorrow, but neglected to contact me. They had some other doctor give me a brief physical and refill my crazy pills and wrote me a script for one month of birth control pills. I almost walked out and and said fuck birth control, I'll take my chances. Then I reminded myself that the last thing in the world I need is to get pregnant and derail this awesome weight loss train. So I got my script and now I'm looking for a new doctor because I'm not jacking with that place again. I forgave them for the one time they forgot about me while I was waiting to see the doctor. I didn't get shitty when I went with ears dripping with infection and they gave me drops to put in them and a few days later I went blind in one of my eyes. Rescheduling without calling, final straw. I hate changing doctors. Better than changing shrinks though.

Well I haven't posted any updates lately. I'm feeling awesome, according to the scales I finally broke down and bought, I'm down 61 lbs. It's amazing the difference I feel. My sex life is better than ever. I went and bought a pair of shorts at Old Navy (they were clearing out the fat girl section) and I'm wearing 2X tshirts. Not too shabby. The only thing I crave is diet coke, I'd give anything for a diet coke. I spend a lot of time sniffing my hubby's can. I have yet to dump and I'm thankful for that. I'm not exercising as much as I should, but I'm still 100 x's more active than I was prior surgery. Life is good.

I had my 1 month check up Monday. I lost 30 lbs in 27 days. I was satisfied and Dr. Evanson was pleased. I was happy to see that my BMI is now less than 60. I figured out I've lost 128 double cheeseburger value meals from McDonalds. That's over 4 a day! I know I've lost more weight since Monday, I'm having wow moments right and left. Today I noticed that my belly wasn't touching the steering wheel of my car. Not only wasn't it touching, it was a finger width away! I can lean over and pick up things off the passenger side of the car without taking off my seat belt. Yesterday I drove my mom's car and was able to put the seat belt on with ease. That had been such a struggle before. I can lean over and pick up things off the passenger side of the car without taking off my seat belt. It's amazing how quickly I'm shrinking. I've been cleared to start eating pureed meats, vegetables and fruit. My first two experiences with meat haven't been pleasant, but I've enjoyed some carrots, peas and peaches. I'm just working new foods in slowly and only one at a time, so I know what the hell makes me sick! I'm pleased that I'm not depressed. Hubby and I have been walking together after dinner. I push myself more when I walk with him than when I do alone. If he asks if I want to go farther, I say yes 90% of the time. Saying no is like admitting defeat! Plus exercise is the key to exceptional weight loss, and I'm wanting some serious exceptional weight loss. So now I'm going to work on unpacking the boxes that have been in the garage since we moved in November. I want to find the scales so I don't have to wait so long to see how much weight I've lost!

I looked in the mirror today and noticed that my double chin is almost gone. I even moved my head around to see if it was just the angle. It hasn't even been two weeks yet! I always lose weight in my face, hands and feet first. It was a big surprise though, I didn't expect to see it so quickly. I can feel it in my clothes a little. I'm walking more than I have in years. My pain is starting to subside. There's just one place that hurts today, and that is only when I bend over and stretch. Last night I finally slept on my sides for a little while. Every seems to be coming up roses. I'm going back to work (physically) on Wednesday. I don't know if I'll be able to climb the stairs. I might try. It's true, walking helps healing. I walked more yesterday than I've walked since before my surgery and I feel so much better today! I'm excited about what lies before me. As far as food goes, when I find myself wanting something that isn't on my list of allowed foods, I think about the pain and complication it could cause, and that it just isn't even worth the risk. Failure is not an option. I've had my stomach dissected and my intestines rerouted. There is no way in hell that I'm willing to fuck this up!!!

Well I survived with the only complication being my blood pressure shot up sky high in the recovery room. I'm sore and tired, I'm glad to be home so I can actually rest! I was a model patient in the hospital. I tried to walk every hour instead of every other hour. I almost got two miles in. I didn't start on full liquids until today. I was supposed to start last night but I was having a lot of nausea. I'm so glad that has passed. Now that I'm home, I'm so thankful for my husband who is taking great care of be, making sure I sip sip sip. He fills my sippy cup every hour and tells me I have to have it down in an hour. I first meal at home was some lovely cheddar mashed potatoes and tapioca pudding. I ate all of the potatoes, but only a few bites of pudding. I would have never imagined to full up on such a small amount of food. I'm excited about the new part of my life starting.

Well about 12 hours from now I'll be in the OR with Dr. Evanson(what a hottie). I can't believe it's finally happening. I'm scared, but excited. I missed my full liquid lunch today because I was working so hard getting as much squared away at work today. Now that I'm on clear liquids I'M SO HUNGRY!!! Oh well, after tomorrow the physical hunger won't be there. I hope it doesn't hurt really really bad. I'm sure I can handle it. I'm pretty tough~

Well, looks like it's a go! The doctors office called me and confirmed that my surgery is Tuesday! I have to be at the hospital at 6 am, surgery is at 8 am. I can't believe it! It's really going to happen. I went to the store today and bought probably too much food. I spent $128!!! Most of it is non perishable like baby food (banana and pears), sf applesauce, juice, grits, oatmeal, etc. I also bought stuff like an immersion blender, a jug you can shake up, measuring spoons and VITAMINS!!! Wow, less than 5 days to go!!!

So this evening I got a call from United Health Care, my insurance company. My husband works for the railroad and one of the benefits is your own nurse who manages your case following surgery. She wanted to know if I felt I was fully informed about the surgery and if I had any questions. She asked if I had a 1 story or 2 story house, if I had family to help me during recovery, etc. Then she said that after the surgery she'll call me to check on me, answer any questions I may have and make sure I have everything I need to be comfortable after my surgery. I was so surprised. What awesome customer service!!!

I spoke with my psychologist today. She advised me if they called and told me they were canceling my surgery do to the psychological evaluation that Dr. Stote gave me, to tell them that's discrimination against the mentally ill and insist that they call my person psychologist. She says that my tests could be interpreted as someone with some severe psychological pathology if the person interpreting them does not know me. I will be having surgery Tuesday! I just know it. YAY