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Well I have had many ups and downs since my last post.  I am now the support group leader for my area and I am so excited.  Two days after the leadership training I was back in the hospital because my worst nightmare happened, my band slipped.  I cried.  I screamed.  I punched the hospital bed.  I am not sure if I was more disappointed that it had slipped or that I had to pay for it.  The road has been rough since then.  It is hard to get back on track.  I feel like I have already failed and my band will slip again.  I am not used to thinking this negative.  I really need support and positive feedback if possible.  Thanks for your prayers. 

This week I bought a size 12 pants.  I was so excited.  I also weighed in the 160's.  This is new territory for me. I have now decided I do not want to be skinny.  I want to be totally buff.  Things are going well.  Keep me in your prayers.

I should be thrilled.  I ran the 5k.  I am in that size 14.  So why am I so depressed?  Those two things were the biggest goals of my life.  Now that I have acheived the goals I feel lost.  People say I should just keep pushing myself, run the 5k faster or get into the smaller size.  As crazy as it sounds, I need a HUGE goal.  I need a goal that I thought I could never acheive.  I contacted a personal trainer that is a bariatric surgery patient.  I hope she can get me moving and get me motivated.  Keep me in your prayers.  Look for a big goal on this page real soon!

As of Monday I was down 50 pounds.  I am so excited!!!  I see my body, my life, and my world in a whole new way.  I know I still have 50 pounds to go but who would have thought I could have come this far.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers this weekend.  I am running my first 5k and I am so ready.  I will update my pictures soon so I can show you my progress.

Today I officially broke the 180's.  I weighed in at 189 today and I am so excited.  I have not weighed this sinceI was 16 years old.  I have also discovered Pilates!  It is fabulous.  In addition to my weight training, softball, and cardio I am adding a variety of Pilates workouts.  Changing up the routine is really good for me and keeps me interested.  Weight loss is slow but sure and this time I am losing it the right way.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. 

Well I went to the doctor on Monday and after my horrible weekend I had only gained one pound.  THat was definitely not enough to derail my success.  Dr. Kent gave me a fill and I was very relieved.  Since I relapsed on the carbs it is hard to get that craving away now  BUT I got back in the gym and I am still training for the 5k.  I am down 42 pounds at this point and I have lost 45 inches.  I am very excited and I am glad to be on the road again!  Thanks to everyone for the support.

I have done really well with my surgery.  I gained a little this week but I have to realize that there were circumstances beyond my control and I simply handled them with food.    NOT ANYMORE!  I have to get back out there and do what brought me this far.  No more beating myself up.  So far I am down almost 40 pounds.  I need to remember that!  I will keep you posted.