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“Sometimes life gives you lemons”.  We have all heard that haven’t we?  Well life often does give us lemons, and even when we try to make lemonade, we just cannot make it taste good!  My Dad passed away last October, and that really SUCKS!  He was my go to man.  When I didn’t know what to do, I always knew I could talk to Dad and get another perspective and useful advice.  Now what am I supposed to do?  I guess it was time for me to figure these things out on my own, but 4 months later I still MISS HIM TERRIBLY!

 

TO make matters worse, I was not even there when he passed away.  My wife and I decided to move to Flagstaff Arizona where I was accepted into a graduate school.  We thought this opportunity would open some doors for us.  Classes had been in session for nearly half the semester, when I got the call.  “Dad is not doing well, but the Dr. and Nurses feel that there is no reason to hurry home.  We will re-evaluate him in the morning and decide what treatment will work best for him.”  I can handle that.  It was a Thursday night and I expected to leave Friday after class to be with him and see him through this.  Not an hour later another phone call…  “Dad is gone!.”  Funny how we find eloquent ways to say most things, but there is no way to nicely say your Dad has died.  I was in the car with my wife and baby girl.  No tears came!  I did not need to pull over and sob…  I said “OK…  I’ll come in tomorrow.”  That was it!!!  Am I am animal? 

 

I realize now that I was in shock, because eventually my brain processed the information and I cried.  I realized that my Father the man responsible for my life, my best advisor and the one man I trusted more than I trusted myself, was gone!  I missed a week and a couple of days of school and work.  When I returned to Flagstaff, I had no drive to continue.  I remained behind in my classes for a week or two.  My ambition was gone!  Then I realized that if my Dad was sitting there with me, he would have smacked me in the head and told me to get my butt in gear!  He would not want me to quit over this, but to strive to be my best in spite of this trying time.  I got caught up in my school work, and ended up with a 4.0 GPA.  I still miss him terribly and find that I sometimes need to step away from my responsibility as a student, and sulk for a little while.  I always get back on the ball and move on.

 

I know my Dad was proud of me, because he told me so.  He was impressed with my 270 lbs weight loss, and my determination to build a life for my wife and child.  I hope I succeed, because I know he is watching me…  I would hate to let him down!

 

 

It is hard to believe it is January 2009 and I have not posted since June.  Things have been crazy for me.  My wife and baby girl moved with me to Flagstaff where I am attending graduate school.  It has been a trip so far.  Most of the time I think "What am I doing here?"  I just hope that the time money and effort I am putting into this is worht it in the long run.

SO,  Quick update on my progress.  I am now down to 228lbs. and feel awesome.  I walk or ride my bike most days, and try to use the car as little as possible.  I love being able to do things, and the weight loss has given me the freedom to do alot.  It has certanly helped me to be a more active father.  I love being a DAD!!!

I thought I was going to loose my edge with my diet this holiday season.  My Dad passed away in October, and I am still dealing with that loss.  On top of that I was out of town for most of the christmas break.  I was sure I would gain weight, but never did. 

Anyway, I hope everyone is good...

Richard

Well, it has been a year already!  I had my appointment at Dr. Blackstone’s office last week.  Everything looks good except my vitamin D and potassium levels are low.  They do not act like it will be too hard to treat.  And my total weight loss in the first year…  DRUM ROLL PLEASE… 241lbs.  I feel awesome!  I go for a long walk a minimum of 5 days a week, and ride my bike in the evenings, usually several miles (average about 7 miles a day).  Life is good…

WOW, Can you believe it almost a year later and I am down 219.5 lbs!!!  I feel awesome, although I am starting to battle the head hunger.  I knew this was comming, because everyone told me the first year food is the enemy, but then at about a year you want to eat!  So now the true battle begins.

I am able to do so much! I walk miles daily, and am riding a bike.  I have not been on a bike since before highschool.  My energy is up, my mood is up, and I am loving being a Dad...  What else is there to say?

I HAVE LOST 200 LBS!!!  How crazy is that?  8 months and I have lost a fully adult muscular man.  WOW...  I just hope I keep it going!

It is funny how things become so busy when you can be busy.  I used to have all kinds of time to get on OH and talk with people.  Now 182 lbs lighter, I am almost never on OH.  This is sad, because it is such a wonderful tool in my life long battle with obesity.  The support I have recieved from the people here is fantastic.

My baby girl is growing fast.  I don't get to be with her as much as I would like, but then I am still working 2 jobs and going to school.  I must be insane!

Marcie is doing well, although she does not like being back at work.  It is only for two days, but they are hard 12 hr days.  I hope to get a better job allowing her to either stay home, or atleast work somewhere she feels she is appreciated.  For now she provides the insurance and will struggle with it.

Hope you are all doing well and enjoying the New Year,

Richard

Hello!

Sorry it has been so long since I checked in last...  I just never have time anymore.  I work 2 part time jobs, and I am a full time student and a first time Dad; all that adds up to one worn out individual.  Anyway, here is a quick update with me.

I am doing better, food is not always my enemy anymore and my stomach is becoming familiar with food again.  I eat my three meals a day usually, and let me tell you, I am happier that I did this.  I only weigh about every 3 weeks, and at my last weight I was down 141.5 lbs, and I now wear a size 2 X shirt (I was in a 6X).  That's all pretty cool.  I interviewed for a couple of jobs with the NM office of the state engineer, and with the NM Environment Department.  I don't want either job really, but then again, they pay decent and have benefits.  I guess it is time to stop hoping for a job using my education, and going for something to support my family...  Yes everyone, I must grow up.

I did get an e-mail about my application to grad school at NAU.  I got accepted for spring 2008.  The problem is that I did not receive any funding assistance.  This creates serious doubts in my mind that I will be able to attend.  But then isn't that the way things are?

Marcie is doing great, except on days she works.  Baby withdrawal is pretty tough on her.  She has only been scheduled a couple of times.  I don't know why, perhaps they just don't need her like they used to.

Arwyn is great!  She is growing so fast!  My little girl is so beautiful!  I cannot get enough of her.  I love spending my time with her.  I am one lucky Dad!  For Halloween, she got dressed up like a Jack-O-Lantern and we went around to our friends and family.  It was allot of fun.  She got baptized a couple of weeks ago at St. Johns here in town.  Now that I have her, I don't know why we waited so long to have a child.  She has made life complicated and difficult at times, but things are more vibrant and colorful because of her presence.  I love that little girl.

Hope you all are doing well, and if I don't get back soon, happy thanksgiving.

Well I am 4 months out, and have lost 141.5 lbs.  I am down to 364 lbs, and actually feeling pretty good.  

I love being a Dad, although it does cost me alot of time and effort.  My little girl is worth all my time and all my effort.  GOD blessed me with a wonderful wife, child, and family.  What more is there to say???  Except pray for me.  I am trying to get into grad school at NAU.

Richard

OK… let us recap early events, and then fill in the new.  August started off with me having terrible gout, and not eating very well.  I was basically bed ridden and had enough bad experiences with food to make me despise the thought of eating ever again (a sentiment I still hold.  I HATE FOOD!).  Then my wife has our baby 5 weeks early, which is good and bad!  I love my little girl, but the week in the hospital getting her healthy enough to come home was tough.  While in the hospital my wife’s cell phone is stolen.  A week later I buy a new one and go on with life (although I could not afford the phone…  I am poor).  Ok now that we are caught up…

My wife’s old phone showed up, and we are returning the new one (HURRAY).  My uncle died, which happens to be my Dad’s only remaining brother, my best friends Dad dies a couple of days later, I miss the funerals due to my 2 month follow up, where I am told that my hatred of food is normal and to try and tough it out (like I have a choice?).  My wife is sick, and the baby enjoys waking me up every few hours so I can be dreadfully tired every day at work and school.  I am tired of my internship and either want a real career to get started, or to get into graduate school…  Neither looks very promising at the moment.  My wife and I still live with my parents, and have little hope of escape anytime soon.

 

In a Nut shell, August is out to get me!  I just hope September looks brighter.  

I love being a Dad and when I look at Arwyn my heart melts!  With out my wife and child and dog, I’d be truly lost.

Richard I

Hello!!!!

August 10, 2007 at 4:16 pm…  My Baby GIRL was BORN!!!!!  5 weeks early, and via c-section.  I am a Dad, and darn proud!!!  Arwyn Victoria Ann is still in the hospital fighting Jaundice.  She is eating well, and we hope to bring her home tomorrow (8-16-2007).  Marcie is doing fine, and recovering well from the surgery.  I am very excited!!!!

I'm still fighting ankle pain and am still struggling with eating...