giggle95376
I am 49 years old and too young to feel like I'm 100. As long as I was "healthy" and overweight, I was content. But time has caught up with me and I am tired of being exhausted all the time. My father was very overweight and died of a heart attack when he was 52...thats only 3 years older than I am now! I plan to be around alot longer than that.
I have hypothyroidism, hypertension, asthma, and arthritis. My joints and back ache so much at times that I can barely function. Just getting up out of a chair is a chore. Some days the pain brings tears to my eyes. In February 2003, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea so now I am attached to a CPAP machine at nite, but I am more rested when I wake up. This is definitely not a way to exist...much less live! I need to get rid of all this excess baggage and bariatric surgery is the solution.
I have a wonderful loving family that doesnt give a hoot on how big I am only on the fact that it is now affecting my quality of life and my health. I am married to a wonderfully supportive (not overweight) man and have been for 28 years. I have 3 beautiful daughters: oldest is married, living in Seattle and has blessed us with 2 perfectly delightful grandchildren; middle daughter is going to college but living at home; youngest is also going to college and living at home. I want to be able to play with my grandkids! I want to go places and do things without worrying about things like: can I walk that far? what will I miss if I sit here and wait for everyone?
So far I have been to see all the required people so I can get approval for the surgery from insurance. Actually decided I wanted the surgery around December 2002 and I have just completed all the necessary documentation, tests, etc to submit and its now June 2003. Only thing left...and this is proving to be the most difficult...is to lose 10% of my weight which in my case is 30 pounds. I have been told they will schedule the surgery if I have lost 15 pounds..with the understanding that I will lose the other 15 prior to surgery. I tried a low fat/low carb diet and gained 4 pounds!! Now I am trying to do Atkins...I've heard that most folks use Atkins to lose the pre-surgery weight. So far I am 1 week into it and have lost nothing....grr! Geesh, don't they understand that if I could lose weight, I wouldn't need the surgery now would I? Oh well...I'll keep plugging along. Its very encouraging to see all the success stories here. My day will come!!!
6/30/03 Update: Received approval for the surgery from my insurance within 24 hours of submitting paperwork...I was happily surprised. My consultation will be scheduled within the next week or so. I still have to hear from Stanford who is the medical center where my surgery will take place. Also, my weight is slowly starting to come off. So far I have lost 14 pounds.
7/16/03 Update: Finally had call from Stanford Bariatric Surgery folks and scheduled the first of 2 consults, but my appointment date isnt until December 17th. Hopefully, they will have a cancellation before that and I can get in earlier. I have to consult with "their" family practice doc before I can schedule with the surgeon. Talk about the hoops they make you go thru. But it will be worth it. Weight is slowly, very slowly coming off...now I have lost 18 pounds and I am beginning to hate meat!
7/30/03 Update: Stanford has a cancellation so I had the first consult today. Basically they just made sure I had all of the testing done and since I had lost 15 of my 30 pounds, they scheduled my surgery date for January 15. OMG..that seems like forever away. They did say if I lost another 12 pounds, then they would put me on a "waiting" list so if they have cancellations of surgery. I might be able to have it done sooner. I sure hope I can get this last 12 pounds off soon!!
9/1/03 Update: Well, I went to Stanford on August 27 and had lost enough weight to be put on the waiting list, but the PA I saw said I needed 3 more tests done in order to be put on the list...grrr and here I thought I had done every test already..oh well. She also told me there are only 5 people on the waiting list, but that chances of having surgery sooner than your scheduled surgery date was very rare. That was kinda disappoiting, but the fact that I had conquered the 10% weight loss was a real boost for me. Guess Atkins is working! My hubby has even mentioned that maybe I should just stay on Atkins and not have to have the surgery...I told him to get real. I can lose a few pounds this way..but I can't see myself being able to lose all of the weight I need to just with Atkins. He agreed and I know he is 100% behind me. He wants me to be healthy. We just celebrated our 28th anniversary and he said he wants at least another 28 years with me...what a sweetie! I think I'll keep him
9/6/03 Update: Had a cardio stress test and EKG a couple of days ago and to my delight everything was A-OK. The cardiologist said he saw no cholesteral buildup indicated and that my heart is doing great. I have never had any heart problems, but to have that conformed is such a relief. My father died at 52 of heart disease and he was morbidly obese most of his adult life. He was not well in the last few years of his life, but his death when he was still so young was devastating. I can't pretend that as I approach the 50 year mark, I have been suffering a bit of concern that I might take after him in more than obesity. I am having this surgery so I can live way past that 52 year mark and be around for many many years to come. SO anyway I am feeling pretty good now..Just still waiting....not so patiently, but I'm trying..;)
10/31/03 Update: Well, today is Halloween and I am still waiting. I have lost 40 pounds to date and though I am still watching my carb intake, I have to admit I am no longer quite as diligent as I was. I will continue to eat "less" carbs than before, but until my surgery, I am endulging a bit now and then. I certainly won't be able to once I have the surgery. Insurance issues are a bit more complex because after the first of the year, we are moving to Las Vegas. We will keep the same insurance until I have my surgery, so I dont have any problems with approval. Just makes the move etc a bit more complicated. Bue in the meantime..I am waiting!!!
1/3/04 Update: Wow...so long since I updated. where did the time go. Well, the holidays went well except I didnt too well in avoiding the dreaded carbs. I know I convinced myself it was ok to cheat since I wont be able to eat this way ever again after Jan 15th. I am only down the 30 pounds now...I had lost 40 up til bout Thanksgiving or so. My middle daughter gave me little small trial packages of some of my favorite treats for Christmas so I could have a little "last" taste of them...which I promptly inhaled. Figured it was better to eat them all at once so I could get back on track. I know, I know some justification, but thats the way I felt. I have now eaten it all so now I am back to my low carb dieting. Oh and well, then it was my 50th birthday on the 29th of December so we went out to dinner for prime rib at this place I adore. Fortunately I was able to be pretty good at that dinner. I only ate like 2 bite of baked potato and the rest of the meal was low carb so that was a winner. For the past month or so, I have been eaten up with guilt over every single carb I put in mouth. Now I am just getting gnervous about the surgery. Fortunately there is this site with its wealth of information. It has been a real help in putting my fears to rest and putting everything in perspective. Saw my surgeon in November and he gave me the liquid diet handout so I have been trying to get some stuff together for after I get home. Now I have just 12 days to go....eeeep! I know this is the right decision. In December, I had a few days of "oh my gosh what am I doing??" But now I am resolute. I want to live life fully. 50 and ready to start a new lifestyle. My husband and I have been married 28 years and I plan on another 28 or so..;) My family is so behind me on this and their support means the world. I cry alot lately, probably from hormonal changes as I am also going thru menopause..talk about doing it all at 50..LOL. Preop is the 9th - 1 week away. I am so excited!!!
1/11/04 Update: The last few days have flown by. I got a call last week and they have moved up my surgery date by a few days. I will be having surgery on Monday the 12th..which is TOMORROW! I went to my preop appt on Friday, spoke witht he surgeon. He asked that I eat whatever I liked that nite and then be on a liquid only diet this weekend. Yesterday was a bit tough, only osup and drinkd, but I made it. Now tday s the day of that yucky phosphosoda and clear liquids. I hope today flys by. I have to stay close to home and pack etc. I have purchased all my vitamins and a few choices of the post-op full liquid diet from my dic. He says I will be on that diet until I go in for my 2 week appt on the 23rd. At that point I will probably be able to move to soft foods. I will be religious on my following his advice and diet. I dont want to take a chance of any problems because I cheated. Nervous, excited, apprehensive...all of these describe me today. The time is finally here...the beginning of my new life. AS I began to pack my bag today, I though oh my goodness..it is really happening. My next post will be post-op. My long wait is over and my journey will begin in earnest.
1/16/04 Update: Im on the losing side. Surgery went well, they even repaired a hernia that I did not know I had. The staff was great at Stanford. A couple nurses were outstanding and made my stay so much easier. I was up and walking the same day and then walked everyday a little further than the day before. I have six incisions, one of which a slit of about 2 inches which is where I think they repaired the hernia. I had a drain that had to be removed before I left the hospital and I must say I hope I never have to experience the removal of one of those again in my lifetime. It wasnt exactly painful...but WHOA major uncomfortable. I came home yesterday so I was in the hospital for 3.5 days. I am still sore and am walking tenderly. First thing I did when I got home was go upstairs and take a shower...I felt so much better after than even though it took much of my energy.I have climbed the stairs to my room several times and it gets a bit easier each time. Now I will concentrate on my new eating habits and gaining strength. Cripes I have to move in a little over a month...need that strength.
1/26/04 Update: I feel practically normal now. Well, almost anyway. I am still trying to take things easy since I know my insides are still healing. I went for my 2-week post-op appt last Friday and I am now on pureed foods. At least now I can eat a bit of something when we go out to eat. I have found a few times that I must have eaten a bitmore than my 2 oz since I was a bit uncomfortable and nauseous feeling for a while. So I am learning and using this great tool. I will go for my 6 week checkup on Feb 13th (which is really 1 month from my surgery date, but they know my date and they said that was when I should come back in) which is when I will be able to move forward to regular food. I can hardly wait. Pureed is better than full liquids, but I really want to able to try little bits of normal food again. We will be moving the last week of February so it will be good that I will have a few days to adjust to regualr food and then be on the road. I know that with moving and unpacking it might be a few days til i will get all my kitchen stuff unpacked and be able to cook in my usual way for my family, so this will ease a bit of my concerns. We are going for a house-hunting trip in a few weeks and tho I will still be on pureed food, I think I can handle it. I plan on drinking lots of protein drinks to make sure I get my protein in. My surgeon told me he was very pleased of how well I was doing. He said he knew I would be a good candidate for this surgery when he met me because he could tell I was very motivated. I am down an additional 8 pounds. Thats a total of 37 pounds. YEAH!!
9/23/05 Update: WHOA!!! I cant believe how much time has flown by. I can now understand why so many people fail to keep their profiles up-to-date. Once you lose the majority of the weight, well...life just gets so active that typing away on the computer is...well, just not a priority.
I havent lost much weight since November/December 2004 timeframe, but have been pretty close to the 168 mark for months now. Not quite the goal of 160 that my surgeon gave me back in April 2004, but I feel great and have all the energy in the world. I know I should exercise more, but cant seem to get the gumption to do it. I was walking every day for a while, but last July (July 2004, that is) my mother was killed in an auto accident and I never got back into the routine of walking after life returned to normal.
Losing my mother is probably the greatest regret of my journey since she never got to see me after surgery. She had suffered several strokes about 10 years ago and lived with my sister. I was going to go visit her for the first time since my surgery and she was sooo excited to see me. I was supposed to leave on Monday to visit and she was killed on Friday night. It still makes me cry to know that she never got to see me as a thin person again..her last memories of me were of me as that huge person. I know she can see me from heaven, but the guilt of not seeing her for such a long time will haunt me forever. If I had only gone to visit earlier...but such is hindsight. But other than that cloud, my life isfull of sunshine!
I can fit in size 14-16 clothes...sometimes even a 12. I wear size medium or large. I can fit comfortably in airplane seats (and lo and behold I can put the tray down and have actual room between the edge of the tray and my stomach!!!)
When we went to Disneyland with my grandkids, I could ride the rides!! AND walk the whole park without being the least bit winded. Only those of us who have been MO can truly understand how significant those things are. Life is great!!!
People see pictures of me from before and cant believe that I was ever that big. I found a picture of me taken the summer before surgery and my daughter said it couldnt be me..that I never looked like that..HAHAHA we both laughed because we know that I DID look like that once upon a time..not so very long ago, and the transformation is amazing. People who knew me from before are still amazed when I see them...They gape at me and give me hugs..whispering in my ear how great I look and how happy they are for me. I dont even mind having my picture taken anymore...trust me there arent many of me before surgery..I was so self conscious that I refused to be photographed most of the time.
The other day I was shopping and looking thru the sale rack and this woman told me she had seen some great things on sale in the womens plus size department, but she thought I was probably too small for those sizes. I told her that even if I could find something to fit in that department that I was bound and determined to NEVER shop those sizes again and then I told her that I used to be over 300 pounds. She gasped and hugged me...saying she was so proud of me for losing all that weight that she would never have imagained someone as small as me had ever been MO. She was obese herself and I told her a bit about my journey and that WLS was a lifesaver. She and I talked for a while and I told her about this website. It reminded me that I have told several people over the course of my journey about this wonderful place here where there is such a plethora of information and support for the obese. Sometimes I find it hard not to walk up to MO people I see and tell them that there is a solution out there, but I also know that they have to want to change their own lives. I will continue to spread the word to those I can because I know that WLS has saved my life! I would bo it again in a heartbeat, I just wish I had done it sooner. It is one of the the best things I have done in my life. Life just keeps getting better and better!!!! I love life!!!
1/14/08 Wow..5 years ago I changed my life forever. I have 15 pounds that I gain and lose with regularity. I still want to reach that 160 weight goal, and I know I can if I would stick to exercising. A few months ago I started working out with Wii Fit and it makes the exercising a game and soo much more fun than simple exercise. Not if I couold get myself to stick to a more strict routine...but that is another story.
Rereading my story from when I first came onto this site seems lightyears ago now. I still have my moments with feeling sick if I eat the wrong foods, but all in all I feel great. And whenever I feel nauseous from overeating or eating the wrong foods, I know my TOOL is still working. I can now eat a small sandwich at a sitting, which sometimes I wish I couldn't. But a couple days concentrating on protein intakes and taking longer to eat always shrinks my tummy back some.
Sugar is not my friend which is a good thing. I cannot tolerate even the smallest amount in the morning...no sugar at all then or I end up dumping and cannot leave the house for hours. Even one bite of anything with sugar starts the reaction. I do seem to be able to have a small amount of sugar (as in a banana or apple slices) if I eat them later in the day, once my body has been working on digesting for a while...but never ever first thing in the morning.
As a result of menopause I underwent testing for bioidentical hormones. In the process it was discovered I have an intolerance for soy. This has made protein supplementation a bit more complicated. I had many dumping experiences where there was no apparent cause (i.e no sugar or fat intake). Since I have been monitoring soy intake, the dumping for "no apprent reason" has ceased which is a godsend believe you me. So no soy protein drinks or bars for this gal. Whey protein is a bit more difficut to find and the choices more limited, but it can be done and is my solution to protein supplementation.
Fat is another issue, I can eat some things but have to keep the fat content very very low or I feel nauseated and end up getting sick. I still cannot eat more than 1/2 of a small hamburger because of hamburgers fat content, however, if I use extremely lean hamburger at home I can tolerate it better. I do not seem to be able to eat very much beef at all though. Perhaps I fail to eat small enough bites and therefore the digestion is hampered. I can tell if I have not chewed my food sufficently because I feel extremely uncomfortable. Eating out requires my diligence always in making the right choices. Chinese food is usually a good bet because the food is already chopped into small pieces. Chicken and turkey are my best meat choices as they are lean and digest easily. But I have learned and contiinue to be reminded by my tummy, that this was a life altering choice that I made. And I would soooo do it all again. No hesitation at all!!
Though I cant seem to to permanently shake these 15 pounds, I am so thankful to have had the surgery. I am no longer hampered by my weight. Life is good and fulfilling. I carry a picture of my "former" self in my purse and pull it out every so often to remind myself just how far I have come. I am now 55 years old so I have lived longer than my father did..which for me was a major concern. I now can walk all of Disneyland with my grandkids and I know my weight no longer defines me nor is it a hindrance to doing all I want to do. Sure I want to get to 160....and by heaven I will.
So my journey continues and I tell people about my journey occasionally. All are amazed...many are shocked because there has been much negative press and horror stories abound surrounding gastric bypass. I feel good to be able to share with them my success. Gastric Bypass surgery was the BEST thing I could have done. Would I do it again??...you betcha!!!
Hospital Reviews
- (Stanford, CA) - Stanford University Medical Center
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Surgeon Info:
Surgeon: John Morton, M.D.
Dr Morton is now at Stanford Med Ctr in palo Alto, CA. He is very knowledgeable and answered all of my questions. His sincereity and professional manner was very reassuring prior ro surgery and knowing that he was doing my surgery gave me peace of mind. His approach to aftercare is to take everything very slowly so as to avoid problems. So far so good. I felt very safe and cared for under his care and would highly recommend him to anyone.
Insurer Info:
Pacificare (Hill Physicians), HMO