Ginger V.
Introduction
Hello. My name is Ginger, I'm 27 years old, and I am a single stay-at-home mom to my 2 boys, who are 5 and 3. This will be an editted version, with weight loss attempts that have meant the most to me in some way or another.
I have a similar story to most here, I started out as a fat 8 year old, and gained more and more as the years went by. My dad started me off dieting young - I remember doing the Grapefruit diet when I was 9. At the time I weighed 120 lbs. I don't remember if I lost anything, but to this day I can't stand the smell of grape fruit.
In junior high, I was 180 lbs. My PE teacher told my parents that I could lose 20 lbs a month if I just wanted to, so of course my dad did all he could to make sure I "wanted to". I rebelled even harder at that, secretly eating behind his back. At the time I was just trying to get back at him, but obviously the only one I have hurt is myself.
By high school, I was 200 lbs, and was starting to get teased. Because I had been friends with so many for so long, I didn't really get too much of it. Or if I did, I ignored it and just don't remember.
I weighed 310 lbs when I got pregnant with my first, and about 330 when I got married 6 months later. I gained 20 lbs with that pregnancy, and it came off fairly quickly - except I was eating fast food and delivery way more than I should have been, so it came back with some friends, and I wound up weighing nearly 340 when I joined TOPS 9 months after my son's birth. I joined a gym a few months after that, and that attempt got me down 30 lbs.
Then we moved back to California. I tried keeping up with my diet, but circumstances got in the way and the weight slowly crept back on. I then started considering gastric bypass surgery, but decided I would try it on my own one last time, and joined Weight Watchers.
Two months later, I was pregnant. I weighed 310 at the time - must be my magic number. I developed preeclampsia with that pregnancy, and gained 87 lbs. My son wound up being born 34 weeks early, because my preeclampsia got so bad. I nearly died, he nearly died. He is now a very healthy almost 2 year old.
A month after his birth, in July 2004, my husband was diagnosed with leukemia. I began to stress eat. I joined Weight Watchers again weighing 354.6 lbs. I followed their program until April, when my husband came home from Stanford and was dying. He died later that month. I tried to go back to Weight Watchers after that, but the pounds kept coming on and I couldn't handle them treating me like I was a terrible person because I was gaining weight. I would explain what was going on in my life, and they would apologize, but I never got the feeling they meant it.
So that brings me to now. I'm once again considering surgery, and this time I feel like it's the best choice for me. I'm a single parent now, and while my weight isn't at an all-time high, it's pretty far up there from where I am "normally".
January 9th, 2006:
Called the surgeon I'm interested in this morning, expecting to be able to get set up right away with the necessary siminar, but instead found out that I have to have a PCP referral :( From what I've read on this site, it wasn't necessary for my insurance, but obviously they've changed their ways. My appointment with my PCP is Thursday at noon. I'm praying he's receptive to the idea of a referral to a surgeon. I've been seeing him for nearly a year, and he's known of my weight loss attempts during this time, but it's not very well documented. Hopefully that won't be a hindrance.
January 12th, 2006:
I went in for my appointment today, and wound up being about 20 minutes late. I didn't know they had moved offices, so when I went to the old one and saw that all their things were gone, I freaked out a little. Luckily their address was on my insurance card, but it still took a while to find.
When the doctor came in to see me, I mentioned the trouble I'd been having with my asthma, and then asked if I could get a referral for weight loss surgery. He told me okay. Gastric bypass is what you want, yes? Okay. Easy as that. I do have to go back Monday for blood work to check for a thyroid problem, but after that he'll be referring me.
February 1st, 2006:
I went in again Monday to get the results of my blood work. I'm fine, although my cholesterol is a little elevated. The dr wants me to alter my diet and see if that works. Weight wise, I've lost 7 lbs since January 12th. Must have been that flu. I'm now at 342. I asked about my referral, and they said they'd either call that day, or I could call in a couple of days to find out what was going on.
I took my son to the bus stop this morning, and decided to call them when I got back. In my mail box on the way home was my packet from the surgeon's office! I've already gotten it filled out, and will be mailing it later this afternoon at the post office after I pick my son up from the bus.
So excited to have finally reached this new stage of the process - the referral. I have to wait til the surgeon's office calls me to schedule my appointment, but I'm happy where I am now. I've already told myself this is going to be a long process, so hopefully I don't stress over any of this.
Even though I know it will take a while, I'd really love to have surgery during the summer. My mother-in-law works as a teacher's aide, and it would be great to have it then because of the abundance of help with the boys from her and the brothers-in-laws that are still in high school. They could just come stay with me after my mom has to go back to work.
My 26th birthday is Friday, so this has just been such a cool early birthday present!!
February 6th, 2006:
I got my consultation planned today!! Someone had a cancellation, so I'll be going in February 14th. So nervous, but excited at the same time.
February 14th, 2006:
I had my consult. I didn't learn a whole lot that I didn't already know, but the dr did say that I won't have to have my gallbladder out just because I have stones. 75% of people with gallstones don't experience symptoms, so that's good. I can always get it out later if the drastic weight loss causes more, but they might give me something to prevent more.... I'm not too clear on that.
My official starting weight is 345, and I'm 5'5" tall. I need to lose at least 10 lbs before surgery, preferably 5%. I'm going to start a low carb/high protein diet soon, in order to get that off.
There's a chance I'll be able to have surgery in as little as 1 month, and at the most 3-4 months. It all depends on how active I am in getting things rolling.
I took advantage of having the babysitter today for my 20 month old, and after my appointment I went and dropped off the requrest for a letter to my PCP, and went and got bloodwork done. The lady did a great job, and I did too.... my veins cooperated :)
The only things left now to do are my psych consult and nutritionist consult. I have to wait for my insurance to contact me for those, and then another consult with my surgeon, and I should know more about when my surgery will take place!
February 15th, 2006:
Started my diet today. The doctor suggested eating a good breakfast, lunch of a meat with a green veggie, then a protein shake for dinner. So I'm going to be trying that. I skipped breakfast today, so after I took my son to school I went to Wal-Mart and got some protein mix. It's by Body Fortress, and it's really good. I got the chocolate flavor, and it tastes like Nestle Quik. Yum. I wasn't expecting to be filled up by that, but it's been about an hour and I'm still satisfied.
I'm a major Diet Coke-aholic, so I need to work on getting some water. I'm not a fan of water, but hopefully I can get back into the habit. At one time I was drinking 100 oz a day when I was doing Weight Watchers, and it really did make me feel better - or so it seemed, anyway.
I want to lose at least 20 lbs before the surgery. I know the doctor asked for 10, but I'd really like to get off as much as I can. The whole idea of losing weight makes me nervous, and I don't really know why. I know I'm worried I won't get done what I need to get done, but I've dieted so much in the past... 20 pounds really isn't that much. Maybe I should just stick with the 10 lb loss, and consider anything more than that a great achievement.
Still scared of failure :(
February 16th, 2006:
I called the surgeon's office today to check on blood results, and so far they haven't been sent in :( Twenty minutes after that call, they called back to let me know I've been approved to see a psychiatrist. I called and made the appointment for tomorrow morning. This is all happening so much faster than I ever expected.
I did really well with going low-carb yesterday. I took in 33 carbs, which still sounds like a lot. Today though... not so well. I had some white bread earlier that I shouldn't have had, but I can't afford to go out and replace my groceries with lower-carbed versions yet. I'm considering doing the Weight Watchers program in the mean time, I can usually do pretty well with that. I've also been tracking my calories on Fitday.com.
I've never had to lose X amount of weight by a certain date, or in this case, ASAP. It's really starting to mess with my head. Logically, I know I can do it, but I'm just so worried I'll fail that I'm scared. I would like to have a last indulgence, but I don't know if it's a good idea or not. In my family, we have always had bbqs, and we do them up right - lots of carne asada and beer. I'd really enjoy that, as would my family. Sort of a last chance to feed me right, sort of thing.
In the packet I got from my surgeon's office the other day, it has a spot where it says they'll give me a final weigh in a week before my surgery date - and if I've been unable to maintain my 10 lb loss, they'll postpone it til I can.
February 17th, 2006:
I went for my psych consult today. I had myself so worried over nothing. I was in the dr's office maybe 10 minutes, gave him a brief description of my life, went over what it's like living at this weight, and I was done. He told me he would give me approval to go ahead with the surgery, and wished me luck.
Now I need to call the surgeon's office Monday, hopefully they're open. They said to let them know when I got done with my psych consult. I'm going to ask if I can call St. Agnes directly and get an appointment scheduled that way. I hate waiting on people to get things done for me. I know they're supposed to be contacting me, but what's the harm in me contacting them?
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February 23rd, 2006:
I've been debating on going back to school for a while now. I dropped out Fall 2004 after one week - I had tried to go after my husband was diagnosed, but he wasn't able to handle the child care, and he needed help himself.
After he died, I thought of going that next fall, but just didn't have the drive. I'm not sure why, it just didn't sound like something I wanted to do. I've spent the last few months trying to figure out what it was I DID want to do, and kept coming up with blanks.
Well, I applied for the community college here the other day, and applied for FAFSA. I put my major down as nursing, but to be honest... I'm not sure I want to do that. It was always my dream, but having experienced so much in the past couple of years, I'm not sure it's something I'll be able to handle. I'm not the greatest in math, either. The one upside is that science has always fascinated me, and my income would jump substantially after finding work as an RN. Obviously there is still plenty of time to decide, but only a couple of months. With my previous units, I'm already half-way done with the nursing pre-reqs, so it would be a wise decision to just continue down this path.
I called my surgeon's office yesterday to let them know I completed my psych evaluation last week, and got the number for the nutritionist. I called today to schedule that. I won't be getting in until March 17th at 1 pm! That just majorly sucks, but I was expecting a setback somewhere along the line because things were moving so smoothly.
I have to meet tomorrow with my PCP, turns out he needs to talk to me before he'll write my letter stating that I'm a good candidate. Bah.
So now I'm hoping to have surgery by the end of March, beginning of April. With the start of the fall semester not too far ahead, I'm really hoping to get some weight off so I can fit comfortably in the desks there.
March 17th, 2006:
I went to my nutritionist consult today. I learned a bit, and got some great visuals on what I can expect post-op. She said she would send the paperwork right over to the surgeon's office so that they could process it right away.
After I got home, I called my PCP's office to see if my letter had been sent in, and was told to call back Monday - the lady in charge of that was out of the office due to a personal emergency. I called the surgeon's office to let them know I had finished my nutritionist appointment, and asked if they're received the letter yet - NOPE. It's been nearly a month since I talked with them about what the letter needed to include, so I don't quite know what the hold up there is. I had decided to not be too pushy with them, because I know they are slow to begin with, and I understand that they're busy. I'm kicking myself in the butt now though, I really should have kept on them more than I have been. So you better believe they'll be hearing from me often until the letter has been faxed over to the surgeon's.
Dieting wise, I feel off the wagon big time. I think it was because I limited myself so much, and constantly felt like I was starving, and as a result... was extremely irritable. I was weighed at the nutritionist's office, and I am now at 342. So I've gained back 5 of the lbs I had lost :( I started Atkin's yesterday, and so far so good. It never really worked for me in the past because I cheated, but I keep telling myself I won't have to do this for long before I can get my surgery, and that afterwards I'll be on low-carb, so it's just a practice run.
March 27th, 2006:
I finally got my referral letter from my PCP today. They had been giving me the run around for a week... I was calling daily, and being told tomorrow, tomorrow. This afternoon I drove over to pick it up - didn't trust them to fax it that same day. I was able to get it to the surgeon's office before they closed. The surgeon will look over my chart tomorrow, then it will be submitted to insurance for approval. That should happen in a week or so.
I have 3 lbs left to make the 10 lb weight loss goal the surgeon set. Almost there!!!
April 4th, 2006:
I'm approved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I go in tomorrow to see if I've lost the remaining 3 lbs needed, and if so... I can get my date!! I can't believe I've already made it this far!
April 7th, 2006:
I have my surgery date! It's scheduled for May 8th :)
I went in Wednesday to weigh, and have lost 2 more lbs, so I only need a little less than a pound to go. My pre-op appointment is April 20th, so I have just under 2 weeks to lose 1 lb. So that should be easy :)
May 6th, 2006:
I can't believe I've neglected to update this thing for so long. I went back to the surgeon for my last appointment there on April 20th, and had actually GAINED 2 lbs since the last weigh in. I'm still not sure what happened. I dieted for nearly 2 weeks, was incredibly strict, and avoided carbs like the plague. I was terrified my surgeon would cancel my surgery because of it, but he said to just start watching my portions and that would most likely help the weight come off.
I had my pre-op appointment at the hospital on May 4th (Thursday). All they did was draw some more blood, give me a pregnancy test, and talk to me about what I could expect the day of surgery, and each day after. I was surprised that they didn't do any kind of in depth testing, but I don't believe my surgeon does that unless there are symptoms of problems. With the exception of being so overweight, I'm pretty healthy.
I wasn't too gung ho on the idea of a last meal. It just didn't seem to really appeal to me, because I understand that things will be so different after surgery that either I won't want whatever it was that I used to love, or I'll be able to enjoy it someday in moderation. We did go to Claim Jumper's last night for the celebratory last meal, and I enjoyed myself a lot. Good conversation, good happy, and a good outlook on the future.
I started my 2 day clear liquid diet today, and so far... Blech!! I already know that I can't stand beef broth, it tastes like dirty sock water. At least chicken is pretty yummy, it's just wierd not having any noodles, chunks of chicken, or even veggies in there. But I'm dealing. Two days really isn't very long at all, so I just need to buck up and stop acting like a baby about it.
***
the following was written May 12th, 2006:
Sunday, May 7th, 2006:
It was fairly uneventful. I drank the half bottle of Magnesium stuff required in the morning, and spent a good 2-3 hours in the bathroom. Boy, that stuff works faster on me than the bottle says it would.
I have a friend staying with me, she's been here since Wednesday. While my mom stayed with the kids and napped, we went to the Dollar Store... just took a detour. By that time, the mag. wasn't affecting me very much at all. We wound up driving all over the country. We had a blast. After the Dollar Store, we hit up the scrapbook store and came home.
I didn't get any sleep that night at all. I tried, but everytime I would lay down in the dark, quiet room my mind would start racing. I had no fear, just excitement. I wasn't sure exactly what would happen, but I wasn't afraid. I trust my doctor completely. He's a really nice man.
Monday, May 8th, 2006:
We got up around 4, and I took another shower in the Hibiclens. That stuff is nasty. Its smell reminds me of a hotel room. Wierd. Got dressed, and had my friend take pics of me in a bra and sweat pants. It's so strange to think that this is really going to work, that these pics won't just be going into a pile of junk with the past pics of first days of weight loss diets.
I was supposed to be at the hospital at 6 am, and we got there right at 6 am. My mom dropped me off and went to park while I went to the outpatient desk to let them know I was here, and sign the last-minute paperwork. We got called into the pre-op waiting room about 15 minutes later.
At 6:30 am, they called me back into the other waiting room (what on earth is that darn room called? I can never remember). I got weighed. I was so scared of that scale! I was just sure I had blown it completely. I got on and the scale read 331.2. I was practically jumping for joy. That is 4 lbs more than I was required to lose, and I knew then my surgery wouldn't be cancelled, and I had a much better chance of having my surgery laproscopically.
They did the IV, I talked to the anesthesiologist, and joked around with my mom waiting for surgery to begin. Right at 7:30 on the dot, the time my surgery was scheduled to begin, my surgeon came in to say hello and see how I was feeling. A few minutes later, I was telling my mom goodbye, and they were wheeling me into OR 8.
I got in there and moved onto the table. It was so cold in there, I just knew I would wake up half frozen to death. I talked with the nurse, surgeon, and the anesthesiologist who told me he was starting the happy stuff, at least that's what I think he called it. The nurse put the mask over my face and I took deep breaths. I blinked my eyes maybe 4 or 5 times, and the next I knew I was waking up in recovery.
My surgery took about 2 hours total. I woke up in recovery to them telling me it was time to wake up, the surgery had been done. I remember a woman telling me she had had the same surgery, and that I would be okay. Whether that really happened or not, I don't know.
I stayed in recovery for 1.5 hours or so, then moved to my room. When they moved me, I had trouble breathing and had to use oxygen for a while to get my blood oxygen levels back up. They were at about 86, and just a few breaths of oxygen got it up to 97-98. Right around that time, my mom came into my room with my kids and friend. My friend got me up walking right then, and though I had trouble just making one lap, I got it done and felt much better after. That really woke me up more than anything.
The rest of the day I spent sleeping and walking. The pain wasn't too bad, and I didn't have to use my PCA very often that evening. Night time was much worse, but still no where near as painful as I had expected.
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006:
I got my IV out. My bladder is being lazy, but I'm drinking plenty of fluids. I was supposed to drink 500 cc's by 2 pm, and I had that done by 10 am. I did more of the same - sleeping and walking. I felt much better.
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006:
I came home around 10 am. I'm feeling so much better. Fluids are continuing to go in well, and I took 2 naps today. The first night home wasn't so wonderful, but it wasn't so bad, either. I've been able to sleep on my side since the first night after surgery, so I know I shouldn't complain any.
***
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006:
I had my first post-op appointment today. I'm down to 317, so 14 lbs in one week. That is amazing. I'm still continuing to do well, but I'm having trouble getting all the vitamins in. I do manage to get b-12 every day, and am getting at least one multi and one calcium per day, where I should be getting 2 of each.
Sleeping is great, back to normal. I was worried about not being able to sleep well enough right after surgery. So glad I can lay on my belly again.
I'm on clear liquids for 6 more days... blech. I'm going to keep telling myself that and see if I can't get through it. I really want to be successful at this.
My next appointment is in 3 weeks, I'm hoping to be under 300 by then. 18 lbs in 3 weeks sounds doable, but it would mean a 32 lb loss in one month. I don't know if I can manage that. Being under 300 has been a goal since I first started losing weight. I just can't believe that this is really real, that it IS going to happen. So excited about the possibilities.
Thursday, June 1st, 2006:
I started coughing last Satuday, and it just continually gotten worse. I tried taking OTC cough meds, and they just weren't doing the trick - one even managed to make me dump. I thought it would be okay because it was sorbitol, but apparently not.
I wound up calling the dr early Wednesday morning, and later on went into the hospital for some blood work and xrays. Turns out I just have bronchitis, but the cough medicine the dr prescribed has been so great. I'm already feeling much, much better :) I won't be having my appt next week, so as far as an offical 1 month loss goes, I won't know. I am currently down to 305, so I'm thinking I probably will make the goal of being under 300 by next Thursday :) My mom bought me a Tanita digital scale, and it's just great. I'm going to start keeping track of my weight on here every week, just to keep an idea of where I'm at. I know the numbers aren't really important, but really... they're sure fun to watch go down so quickly!
Friday, July 21st, 2006:
Goodness it has been a long time since I updated!! Well, a week after having bronchitis, I came down with strep throat. In total, I was sick for 4 weeks.
Between June 2nd, and July 13th, I lost 7 lbs. Most of that came off in the first week after. I started to ignore the scale at that point. It just made me upset, and I wanted to ignore the fact I had WLS. I never deviated from my eating plan, but I just stopped thinking about it. Every time I did, I'd get upset. Because if I can't have much food, then the least I wanted was a LITTLE weight to come off. I wasn't going to be picky about the amount. Now, I know that plateaus are normal, and even to be expected. I didn't really care when it hit. In fact, I welcomed it, because I figured that my body would soon reflect what I had lost to that point. A four week plateau is just too long for any newbie to have to endure :(
I started losing again finally, so there should be more updates. I'm now in a 22/24 size jeans depending on the manufacturer. I hate that, it's just so frustrating. They should make sizing universal like they do for men's clothing. It would be much less hassle.
I started back to school at the end of June. It should take me 5 years to graduate with my Bachelor's degree in nursing - 2 years pre-reqs and other things I need to catch up on, 3 years in the nursing program. I'm excited, although I still feel funny for being the super morbidly obese woman. The image in my mind hasn't caught up to where I really am. It's just the strangest thing. I can't get the big picture in my mind, but the little things I notice. My eyes look bigger because my cheeks aren't as fat, I no longer have a neck roll, my fingers are thinner, feet too. I look in the mirror and see me looking smaller, I look down and see the same old body I've always had.
July 30th, 2006:
July 26th, 2006, 285 lbs
Same shirt!!
September 20th, 2006:
I'm finally getting used to the stalls, although I get impatient towards the end. I'm now down 85.2 lbs so I should be able to make my goal of 100 down by November 8th :)
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