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I can do all through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation;
Old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new!
2 Corinthians 5:17

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.Isaiah 40:31

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is
the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who
kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. - Unknown

Inside every fat person is a thin person screaming to get out. Inside this thin woman is a fat woman who remembers. - Unknown

Love is all there is, ever was or ever will be.
 
List of Goals

I want to run…
.. up stairs, across fields, down streets, on treadmills, in marathons, through airports, from sorrow, towards joy.

I want to feel…
…my bones protrude, my muscles bulge, my energy soar, my clothes get looser and looser, my confidence return, my sexy come back, free from the bondage of my weight.

I want to see…
… my feet, my waist, light between my thighs, the curve in my hips, the smile on my lips, happiness in my eyes, someone’s head turn, the new me, the old me, the real me.

I want to know…
…that I didn’t get the job because I wasn’t the best candidate, that the sales person was rude…to everyone, that I won’t break a chair that I sit in, that I won’t be out of breath when I answer the phone just from getting up to get it, that I don’t have to think about being fat every minute of everyday, that my size won’t stop me from reaching my goals, that I am just as beautiful outside as I am inside…finally.

I want to hear…
… whistles from constructions workers ( okay I’d admit it, but just a few would be nice:), one co- worker whispering to another on how great I look instead of how fat I’ve gotten, strangers pass me and say ” wow”, people I know saying “wow”, me saying “wow”, and mostly…

my soul singing.



About me.....

More than any taste I could ever crave, I hunger for peace of mind. It is the overwhelmingly simple feeling of just being that I long for. That is to say, just being happy or sad or angry, not being all of those things and fat too. I long for the day that I do not wake thinking about the mass amount of weight that I have to lose and how uncomfortable and unhealthy I have become. I yearn for the joy of achieving new and exciting goals once I have finally conquered my obesity. I look forward to the day that I no longer need all of my meds to survive. Please let me make myself clear, I am well aware that loosing weight does not grant one a ¡§perfect¡¨ life. It is not the elixir that magically turns a bad marriage into a good one or a terrible job into wonderful one or a horrible person into a saint. However, it is undeniable how profoundly this surgery affects the lives of those who are brave enough to endure through it and for all of those friends and family who love us enough to go there with us. This is my journey.

September 2, 2005

Hello all, my name is Brenda. To fill in the blanks about me, I am 39 years old and have a daughter who is 13. I have had hypothryoidism/thyroiditis for 16 years, during which I have been treated continuously by my endocrinologist. However, I have struggled with weight gain since then. Most recently, due to my fluctuating thyroid (not uncommon) my weight has spun out of control and I gained 30 lbs in 4 months. My co-morbidities include syndrome X, insulin resistance, high blood pressure, arthritis (back and joint pain),GERD and asthma, just to name a few. Like everyone here, I have tried every weight loss method under the sun. I have always enjoyed exercise, until recently. Now my body aches so badly and I am nearly crippled when I leave the gym. During a recent workout, I seriously injured my back. It left me couch bound" for a month.

Anyone who is MO knows, there is more to being obese than just the physical nightmare, it packs a whole host of emotional issues with it. For me, it comes in the form of racism. I am well educated, an accomplished professional and have well over 10 years of experience in my field. However, I have been looking for work for almost 18 months. I have gone on countless interviews (I am an interview pro)! I teach others how to interview. I have a stellar resume. I write resumes for others. I know, regardless of the job market, economic pressures, or political climate, I am not employed because I am fat. How do I know? I am in Human Resources. Trust me; I know...

My insurance company will cover the surgery with appeal letter/letters proving medical necessity. So, I am gathering all the letters from all of my doctors (PCP, Encro, nephrologist orthopedic/physical medicine, nutritionist, pulmonalogist, sleep specialist etc) and anything else I can do to prove my need without any further issues from them. So as it stands now, I am still waiting.


No matter how "healthy" you may be compared to someone else, EVERYONE who is obese is UNHEALTHY, maybe not now, but eventually we all get there. The list of co-morbidities just grows each year that passes. How many times have we heard from our doctors that we must loose the weight or we are seriously risking our lives? No one who has struggled with this hasn't wanted a miracle pill or to wake up to find out that "it was all a bad dream" but anyone who has read the profiles on this site, or who has known someone who has gone through this, or has done ANY research on this surgery knows that WLS is no easy way out or a magic pill. No one would opt to have this done, if there was a viable alternative. So, when insurance companies refuse to cover it, or make us jump through hoop after hoop like some cheep dog show, I become enraged. So why am I paying them a premium???? HMMM....

September 26, 2005

I have compiled almost all of the information needed for my appeal. All of the referral letters from my doctors, diet history, gym attendance history, supporting medical records, copies of my prescriptions and even articles from every corner of the medical community supporting my cause, (just to name a few) ready to send off to my insurance company. Just waiting for my sleep study results and that should be it. Keep me in your prayers.

October 13, 2005

Hello all. I have finally completed my appeal letter and package of supportive information and I am sending all to my insurance company tomorrow registered mail. They have 30 days in which to respond. Say a prayer for me.

November 9, 2005

Hello all. I have run into a bit of a snag in the process for appeal. First let me say that I think the Scottsdale bariatric center is awesome. I really do. They are incredible professionals and are super nice people as well. However, I did run into a bit of a problem. With that said PLEASE NOTE: The first instructions in the new patient packet information from the Scottsdale Bariatric Center states that the patient is responsible for contacting your insurance company to find out if WLS is a covered benefit. However, it does not tell you what to do if you do not have a benefit. I did contact the center but must have been unclear as to my situation, because I was not informed what to do at that point either.



If you do not have coverage and plan on appealing the decision based on medical necessity, you should fill out your packet and submit it to the center anyway, before appealing on your own behalf. REPEAT: Do not appeal first without submitting your forms to the center. Your insurance company will need not only the information from you PCP and possible other physicians you may have, but also notes from your evaluation from your surgeon as well. I misunderstood this and appealed without submitting my form to the center and now I am stalled in getting an approval until I have been processed and evaluated and the surgeon’s notes are submitted to my insurance company. Trust me, wording or the lack there of, is everything. Maybe I am just a stickler for details, but I think we newbies need all the information in detail that we can get. The truth is that most insurance companies do not cover WLS without proof of medical necessity. I thought I had to provide that on my own. I did not realize that the center would have contacted my insurance company on my behalf. It would have saved me a lot of hassle if I had known that. I have become so accustomed to being ¡§out here on my own¡¨ that I forgot that they are here to help. They do this everyday and know the ins and out’s¨ of the game. So, don’t assume as I did. Reach out for help.

November 30, 2005

I start the evaluation process tomorrow. Soon I should know if I am approved or not...yeah.


Hello all! I have now completed my consult with the psychologist and the surgeon and everything is a go. Once all their notes are sent to my insurance company, I should know whether or not I am approved for surgery. I may even know as soon as next week. Say a prayer for me. And for all who are in process, having surgery or recovering, know my prayers are with you.


No such luck....


December 20, 2005

Hello all. Still waiting to hear back from my insurance company. This is torture and I am so FRUSTRATED but, trusting the Lord. He will lead me. Holding on....

December 25th MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS TO ALL~

December 31, 2005

Maneuvering through all the time consuming red tape and still waiting. I should hear soon and remember you can't hold a good woman down!!!! Staying in prayer. Wishing you a safe and happy New Year.

January 16, 2006

Hello all. The thought of the day is… What God leads me to, he can lead me through! God is good and he loves me. I will be fine.

To fill everyone in, Acordia National, the third party administrator for my insurance company/employer, has sent a letter of authorization approving my surgery. Why am I not excited? Because my employer is a self insured company and they have the last word for approval and the jury is still out. Why I had to go through the review process with Acordia National is beyond me. They do not have the ultimate power of decision anyway. I was told I would have my answer early this week so, I am staying positive and in prayer. As they say, there will be no testimony without a test. God bless and I will update soon.

January 19, 2006

Well the saga continues. The VP of HR and the trusties of my company now have all of my info for review. I should officially know the outcome in a week to 10 days. It has been an arduous process, but I know others have gone before me and had twice as much to endure so, I will continue to be patient, stay in prayer and have faith. To all who are going into surgery and are recovering, my prayers are with you. Remember, walk, sip, rest, repeat.


Within~

I see a place deep within me,
that no one else can see,
Inside this place hope doth dwell
The women I want to be.

But first I must remove the fear,
the scars of hurting past.
Help me Lord to fill it up
With good things that will last

Reflecting in the mirror I hold
I see a stronger soul
Help me reach to those who hurt
Instead of staying alone,

Teach me Lord to use the pain
And use it for your good,
Not to doubt when things get dark
But trust you as I should

And next I gaze into this glass
Of the mirror in my hand,
My hope will be a brand new me,
You've transformed once again.

January 27, 2006

Hello all. I was told that I would have the final decision today from the VP of HR and the trusties of my husband’s employer. (I should have know better by now) WRONG! My case is now in review by a case management company called Clinix, used by my husband’s employer. Why wasn't the review done by Acordia National enough? Of course I was not told last week about this next step in the process. I was told I would have an answer by now. When I called the VP of HR at my husband’s employer, I was told that she did not have the review back from case management company and boy was I surprised. I thought, "What case management company and why was it sent there"? I still don't have those answers but trust me, I will!

So, being a "make a way, find a way" type of woman, I called my contact at Acardia National in the West Virginia office and she gave me the number to Clinix, the case management company. I called them and they told me that an answer regarding my case was sent to an account representative at the Ohio branch of Arcadia National (the one I have been dealing with is in West Virginia) and I was given that persons name (Debbie) and her number. I then called her and left a message. I am EXTREMELY frustrated at this point. Who wouldn't be? This has gone on long enough. I called her again and again. Finally, I asked the receptionist to track her down and tell her this was URGENT. She finally called me back. She said that she did have a voicemail message from Clinix regarding my case and she would call them to follow up with details. (Any of this sound like the run around to you???!!! Me too!) When she called me back, she said she could not get a hold of anyone because it was late in the day there (just before closing time) and so, she told me should would call them on Monday and let me know by 8:30 am. Something funky is going on, I can just feel it. So, I have to go through another tortuous weekend without knowing and the cruelest thing of all is this isn't the final decision. I still need approval by the trusties of my husband’s employer. Do these people enjoy torturing others? I feel like I am going to explode. I honestly feel they screwed up and are looking for a way to cover their tracks. I should have never received an approval letter from Acordia (not my problem) and now they are trying to CYA and are pulling in any Joe blow company to say that I am not a candidate for this surgery or it is not medically necessary. Tough crap. Done deal. Why else would my case be sent to yet another review board? I am angry and frustrated. So say a prayer for me. Much love to all.

January 30, 2005

The torture continues.... My review has been sent to the trusties of my husband’s employer. I don't get to know what they recommended WHICH I think is wrong. I should know what they think and why. If this comes down to a lawsuit, I will demand that info. Deb from Acordia called first thing as she said she would and let me know that she did not know what the decision was, but that the letter of recommendation was sent to the trusties. She said that from this point on, the company (my husband's employer) wanted to deal with me directly and any future conversation about this would not go through Acordia. (Wierd) Anyway, Deb is a truly a nice person and really did try to help. A lesson for all of us in remembering that good customer service goes along way. After Deb called to let me know what was happening, I called the VP of HR myself and asked for an ETA on when a decision would be made. Of course she did not know. I think they are getting sick of me (I'm so torn up about that, I just can't tell you!) She will schedule a meeting with the trusties and they will discuss it and when they feel good and ready, they will let me know. She was not even sure if they were in town this week. So more waiting.

As I sit here typing this, I am remembering something said in church this Sunday and now I understand why God wanted me to hear it. As we go through this process, I am sure we have all felt at one time or another the frustration that some unqualified person, someone who is not your doctor/doctors and does not know you personally, has control over your life, your future. How unfair and insane is that??!!!! But then I remembered the passage... God chooses the ordinary and weak to do the extra ordinary and the mighty things he wants from us. He works through these people and even when it seems crazy, there is a reason. I must remember, God is in control. I am not. Neither is anyone else. I have asked him for what I want and need. He knows my heart. He will lead me and I will follow. Keep me in your prayers and for all of you waiting as I am, or in the operating room, or in recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


February 5, 2006

Thought for the day....

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."

(How true!)

February 9.2006

Are you ready for this???? I waited to hear from my husband’s employer this week and of course I did not hear anything, so on Wednesday I called the VP of HR and guess what????? She was out of town alllll week. Never bothered to let me know she would be out of town and I should not bother waiting to hear from her. So, another week gone with no answer. Another weekend to get through, not knowing. I am starting to get pissed off quite frankly! I KNOW that my paper work is at the bottom of someone’s pile on someone’s desk. This is when I remember the golden rule and I so want to remind them of it also! Do unto others as you would have done to you. Would they appreciate being hung up like this over something (especially a health issue) that was important to them or one their loved ones. What if they were waiting for test results, would they appreciate hearing "Oh I'm sorry the Doctor is out of town and no one else can help you" or " Gee, your case is being evaluated...again. We will let you know when we have can." Just freakin' drives me crazy. Ahhhhhhhhhh! ~breath, breath, breath~

February 13, 2006

Just to update, I still do not have my approval. I was just sitting here thinking about life after surgery and the process of surgery itself. I know the details, the process and procedure. I have read many profiles and scanned and rescanned their experiences and tried to imagine myself there. I try to imagine the surgery waiting room, the staff buzzing in and out, putting in IV’s and asking questions, slowly filling me in on details. I even try to imagine the color of the walls and sense the cool air (always seems cold in a hospital). I try to ready myself for my experience by planning what I will do while waiting. I want to make sure that I have told them everything, I am allergic to morphine, and I have allergies and need an allergy meds before surgery. I am prone to infection and nausea and will need meds for both afterwards and oh; I have a very small throat. Will I be okay, I ask over and over. I will try to be calm. I will listen to spiritual music and stay in prayer. I will do relaxation breathing. I will talk with my Mom, hold her hand and think of my daughter. I will be joyful and then they wheel me off and it is my turn.

I then try to imagine myself waking from surgery. I try to imagine the pain and how I will manage it. I try to imagine how the drugs will make me feel. I try to see the hospital experience, the ICU, the leak test, the walking, the dry mouth, the first drink.

And then its time to go home. I try to imagine being on my own without the doctors and nursing staff watching over me with all the expertise and wisdom to catch something before it gets out of control. I try to imagine doing as I am told and repeating my mantra, walk, sip, rest, repeat until I am healed. I try to anticipate the nausea, sore body aches, the head hunger. And so on and so on and so on and in the end the only thing I feel sitting here is I want it to be over. I want to not just on the loosing side, but healing and feeling better. I want to skip the ¡§stuff¡¨ in between. I guess that is just fear talking.

My experience will happen and I will manage it as everyone else has. I will just have to ¡§deal¡¨ with it until then. Staying in prayer.

February 19, 2006.

You know, I thought I would be having surgery by now and here I am still fighting the same issues with my insurance company. Well, here is the latest. My case has been reviewed by case management and sent to the trustees of my husbands employer and after much more waiting (all of them traveling out of the country and such and could not manage to get together) have finally made a decision regarding my case and a letter was sent or to be correct, MAY have been sent. The assistant to the HR person I am dealing with was not sure if the voice mail message she received from her boss stated "a letter was sent, or a letter will be sent." (She, the VP of HR, was in the airport at the time and no one could hear her supposedly) Glad to know I am so freakin important. Why couldn't the woman just call me and say, Hey Bren, you've been approved or denied and a letter is forth coming, instead of keeping me hanging like this????!!!! How cruel is that? I did not get a letter on Friday or Saturday and Monday is Presidents Day so I will have to wait until Tuesday. Pray I am approved. All of this has begun to get to me. I am stressing, bad dreams, upset tummy, grumpy, the whole nine. I am trying to stay focused and positive, but I must admit at times, it has been very difficult. The waiting is murder! Staying in prayer.

March 2, 2006

Can you believe this???!!! I still do not have an answer. Due to the VP of HR (also a trustee) whom I have been dealing with being out of town on business for several weeks, she has not written my letter yet. She insists on letting me know the out come via mail which leads me to believe they have denied me. If that is the case, the fur will fly trust me! Keep me in prayer.


March 3, 2006

Well, the letter has been written and sent. They still will not tell me over the phone. Which I think is stupid. Anyway. I wanted to tell everyone about the Obesity action coalition. www.obesityaction.org. If you are just starting out or you are battling your insurance company, check them out. They have a new brochure out filled with some useful info on the insurance game. I am working with them now, trying to get some answers to a few tough questions. I must tell you, I have stumped everyone. No one has gone through what I have. Too weird. The questions are, IF I am denied, on what basis can they deny me when they do not have a written exclusion, all of my medical documentation and supporting info is correct as well as all of the correct codes needed? No one can answer that as yet. Also, the executive that I am dealing with at my husbands company, told the TPA reps not to give ME or anyone else (i.e.: my surgeon's office) ANY info on my case and that I and everyone else should speak with her directly. However, she is not speaking to any of us. She refuses to give us information regarding my appeal. I believe that is illegal. It is not legal for any information to withheld from the policy holder and believe me, I will sue the pants off of these people if they do not approve my surgery. I better get my letter soon and then I will know and can go from there. God Bless.

March 7, 2006

Still waiting for the infamous letter to arrive. They have one more day, and if I do not receive my letter, I will have my legal counsel call them. No joke. I will keep everyone posted as to what the outcome is. Keep me in prayer.

March 8th 2006

I was denied. Unbelievable, I was denied. I am in shock honestly. I am just too sad to talk. I will pray, regroup and... start over.

March 10th, 2006

Well, it's been a rough couple of days, as I am sure you can imagine. I had to pray on it and really come back into focus and remember what the real issue is here and that is to have surgery. Even though I am sure I could fight this, (and I really want to because I believe they are wrong) and I may have a good chance to win, but I have no question in my mind that they would fire my husband or something as equally stupid. It’s a worthy fight, but not if it will cost us everything. I will fight them another way. I did contacted Gary Viscio Esq. in NY, just for his opinion on this, but he has not returned my call. Maybe that is Gods way of telling me to just move on. It is virtually impossible to find insurance that will cover this surgery on my own, so I have only one option left, take an equity loan out on my house and self pay. I must tell you, I have not talked to my hubby yet about that, so I am sure this will be one more battle. But he can either have me here or visit my grave, because without surgery I will die from obesity. That is the facts. Say a prayer for me. God bless.


March 16, 2006

Well much has happened since we last spoke. I have tried literally every avenue (other than mortgaging my house) to get this surgery paid for on my own or by some other insurance carrier. I have not found any other means to do that, so I have decided to take legal action and MAKE my insurance company pay. However, I have decided not to go with Gary Viscio. I have retained Walter and Kelley Lindstom. They have been great so far. I am praying that it will only take one letter from their office and does not cause a bunch of drama for my husband at work or worse, cause him to loose his job, but you have to do what you have to do. ...and yes I know that they LEGALLY can not fire my husband without just cause (even in Arizona, in spite of what people think) but in the real world, people get screwed over all the time, however IF he gets fired, I will sue for wrongful dismissal. I will not let them get away with that. The bottom line is, I need surgery to save my life and that is that. So, onward and upward. Keep me in prayer. Love to you all.

March 25 2006

Not much new news to report. Kelley and Walter should have my appeal letter ready in about three more weeks. Until then, I keep praying and planning. I really appreciate all the help the AMOS family has been. Your support has been a God send. I will update when I have more news.

March 28 2006

I am still battling my insurance company. Like many people who have gone through this, it seems uphill and sometimes impossible. But if we have faith in God, we know that he works everything for good. He asks us to believe, not to worry but to pray. We must cast our cares. I found this poem that brings that into sharp focus. I thought I would share it. Never give up!

The Man Who Thinks He Can

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you won’t.
If you like to win, but don’t think you can,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.


If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost.
For out in the world you’ll find
Success begins with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in a state of mind.


If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think higher to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can win a prize.


Think big and your deeds will grow.
Think small and you’ll fall behind.
Think that you can, and you will.
It’s all in a state of mind.


Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger, faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the fellow who thinks he can.

May 10th, 2006

Hi everyone. It has been so long since I have updated. As you may have remembered, I have hired Walter and Kelley Lindstrom to help with my appeal. Walter sent my letter to the trusties of my husband’s employer on Thursday May 4th. I am PRAYING that the 25 paged letter (a very well written letter I may add) generates a positive outcome. It would be so much easier on everyone if they just overturned their decision and covered my surgery, especially considering they have no ground to stand! I have already been approved by the TPA! I am praying that this does not turn into a long, protracted, not to mention, expensive experience for everyone. Well, there is no testimony without a test. Keep me in your prayers.

May 30th, 2006

Hey, there is news on my case. I have been in contact with Kelley and Walter regarding my case. I have had some additional medical information or should I say worsening co-morbidities and Kelley and Walter always need to know that sort of thing. *note to anyone working with an attorney. Make sure they are up to date with your changing medical info. It could have a great impact on your case. Anyway, Kelley has been in contact with the "powers that be" at my husbands company. Without going into too much detail at this time, I will say only this: things are beginning to "heat" up over there. God works all for good. I will add more when I can speak more openly. Love to all. Keep me in your prayers.


Hope is not the closing of your eyes
to the difficulty, the risk,
or the failure.

It is trust that-
If I fail now -
I shall not fail forever;
and if I am hurt,
I shall be healed .

It is trust that
Life is good.
love is powerful,
and the future is full of promise.
~ Anonymous

An elder Cherokee chief took his grandchildren into the forest and sat them down and said to them, “A fight is going on inside me. This is a terrible fight and it is a fight between two wolves. One wolf is the wolf of fear, anger, arrogance and greed. The other wolf is the wolf of courage, kindness, humility and love.” The children were very quiet and listening to their grandfather with both their ears. He then said to them, “This same fight between the two wolves that is going on inside of me is going on inside of you, and inside every person.” They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked the chief, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight?” He said quietly, “The one you feed.”

Feed the right wolf.

June 13, 2006

I have spoken to Walter today and we should have an answer on Friday and no later. Stay in prayer.

June 21, 2006

Yes, I got an answer....sort of. They are still going to drag out this process and stand by the illegal actions taken by the trustee (of course they will, they have lawyers on the payroll and can afford to be a$$holes). They are still dancing around the issue of medical necessity. All I can say is I am not giving up and will take it all the way to end if need be. AND if they think it is hot and sticky outside now, they should remember that hell is alot hotter especially while wearing gasoline underwear! God don't like ugly!


June 28, 2006

Still fighting. The next round should prove to be very intersting. I'll let you all know. I have said it before but, I want to officially state that Kelley Brown and Walter Lindstrom are awesome people, great lawyers and have become special friends. Bigg Kisses and win or loose, thanks for everything guys!


July 15, 2006

Hello all. Yes the fight rages on. My insurance company is so out of line that it is criminal...literally...criminal. Don't worry, I'll get 'em! (big smile) Sending love and kisses.

July 27, 2006

Well, bad news. My insurance company has added an exclusion to the plan that starts Aug 1. It excludes all WLS. I am not sure how this effects me considering I am already in the appeals process and have legal council involved. I wil speak with Kelley and Walter tomorrow. Say a prayer. God is able.


July 28, 2006

Well, it was a valient fight, but they won. My insurance company wrote an exclusion in the plan beginning Aug 1 and after I spoke to my legal team (THEY WERE AWESOME) there really isn't anything else I can do. So, I am now self-paying for surgery and have changed my surgery choice from RNY to LAP BAND. I asked God to send me a sign and he did. He lead me to were I am and I have peace with it. I know I did my very best. Who knows, maybe my lawsuit exposed some very shady people within that company and they will be dealt with. God has a plan and he is in control. Thanks for all the love and support over the last vew days. At least now I know I will be on the loosing side soon. I'll keep you posted. Big kisses. Thank you Kelley and Walter. You have been amazing.

August 15, 2006

I HAVE A DATE!!!!! OCTOBER 9TH! Praise God. He gets the glory. YEAH!


September 25, 2006

I know it has been forever since I have posted. I have my last pre-op classes on Wednesday and I also meet with my surgeon then as well. I am strangely calm about the whole thing to be honest. INow, don't get me wrong, I am excited about beginning this journey and finally reaching those goals. In fact, if I think about it too much, I well up in tears. It is just that we have been dealing wth some family issues so, my time and thoughts have been on that. Keep us in prayers. I have a few more things to pick up for my recovery time period and that will be done. I just want to be on the other side and starting to lose weight. I am so totally sick of being fat. I am tired of lugging around all of this....person....that isn't me. I just want to be me again. I know you can relate. Well, I will update soon. Love and prayers.

October 14, 2006
I was supposed to have had surgery already, but it was postponed until October 23rd due to an ingrown toenail. I am healed and I feel great. So, now I am just getting ready for surgery. I think I have most everything I need. I am getting excited; well at least I have moments when I am. Sometimes, I am just scared, of surgery, recovery, complications like band slippage, sliming and not losing weight, so I guess I am normal. Everyone seams to have the same concerns. God is with me and I will leave it in his hands. Talk to you soon.


October 23rd, 2006

I am offically banded. Surgery went well. Praise God. He gets the glory. I had sugery at 2:30 pm and I woke in a lot of pain, but once on dilotted (sp) the pain subsided, but I was very nauseaus. I slep betweem sip and strolls and was home by 10:30pm. Now to rest, sip walk repeat. Love you all. Talk to you soon.

Brenda




***Your Values Profile***


Loyalty:

You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.

Honesty:

You don't really value honesty.
You do value getting your way, no matter what.
And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem.
A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!)

Generosity:

You value generosity a fair amount.
You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.
Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.
But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!

Humility:

You value humility a fair amount.
You tend to be an easy going, humble person.
But occasionally your ego takes over.
You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance a fair amount.
You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas.
You have very few prejudices that you're aware of.
And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

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