From the beginning.

Mar 23, 2007

I cut and pasted all of my thoughts and blogs from before and after my surgery.  It's been over a year since my last post.  I guess you take the new life for granted sometimes.  

I'm angry with myself because I've allowed myself to gain about 40 lbs back.  I have to get back on the ball and get the pounds off!!!

About a year and a half ago I found out that the most influencial person during my pre and post surgery had taken her own life.  I was and still am speechless.  She herself had the surgery about a year before myself.  In the blogs below I speak of Jane alot.  Sometimes I was happy with her.  Sometimes I was mad as hell at her.  But without her... I wouldn't be here today.  Funny how things turn out.....  Ok... can't think about it anymore now... 

I'll write more later!!

2/8/06--- Wow... Ok... almost 2 years since my last post. Alot has changed since I last wrote. I'm down under 200 lbs. now. The last time I weighted I was at 191 lbs. Long way from 365 lbs. Hard to believe that it's been 3 years since my surgery. I'm proud to say that I haven't gained back any weight and continue to lose. :)

3/17/04--- OMG!! Has it really been over a year since I've updated my information on here? Well, here I am over 2 years post-op. I'm doing great!! I've lost nearly 200 lbs now. I feel so much better. Finally stopped getting so sick... well sorta... every once in a while when I'm stupid I run to the bathroom... Went to my first support group meeting in about 7 months last night. I really missed it. I only recognized about 3 people though. SOOOO many new faces. Gosh, I can remember the very 1st meeting when there were only about 6 of us in the room at the clinic. How time flies!!

So much has changed for me over the last several months. New home, new partner, new job, new everything!! The best part of it... I'm so much happier now!! I promise to update this more often. Just because I have lost so much weight doesn't mean that I should forget where I was 2 years ago. I can never forget!! Cause if I forget, I just may end up back there and I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN!!

Enough for now... until next time... I gotta start losing again. I'd be happy losing another 25 lbs. :)

1/22/04--- Happy Anniversary to me!! haha... Wow... Can't believe it's been 1 year since my surgery. :) What a year it has been too... Ups-downs-twists-turns... Good thing I don't mind rollercoasters. haha... I'm feeling much better!! I spent a few days in the hosptial right before Christmas and since then I've been feeling 10 times better!! I haven't been getting sick as often as I was. I've gone a whole week and a half without getting sick!! This is some kind of record for me!! My weight loss has really slowed down... well... stopped actually... I hope I continue to lose... I know it's up to me in order to do that. I have to stick with all the rules... exercise, continue to eat the right things and portions... and yes... TAKE MY VITAMINS!! haha

Would I do it all over again? YES.... It's amazing how much I've changed!! I was in the doctor's office the other day waiting for my appointment w/Dr. Clark (1 year follow up) and a lady said to me... "Have you had surgery?" I said, "Yes". She asked how much I lost and I told her. She asked if when I looked in the mirror if I still saw the person that I used to be... meaning.. did I still see myself being so big... And ya know... I hadn't really thought about it in a LONG time... I told her, "No... not anymore.. I see the new me now..." For a very long time, I still saw myself and felt like I weighed nearly 400 lbs. I was afraid to try and sit in booths, try on smaller clothes, etc. But now... I really see my new self. AND I LOVE IT!! I wouldn't change any of this for the world!!

I'd like to say thank you to a few people... I said them @ the support group last week, but I wanna do it here too... Thank you to everyone at the St. Francis Medical and Surgical Weight Loss Clinic. Jayne, Kim, Carol, Rachel (my protein queen), Julie, Cindy, Nancy, Dr. Clark... EVERYONE!! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!! I know there were times when I was a pain in the butt... thank you for putting up with my phone calls, stupid questions, etc. To everyone @ the support group meetings... thank you for all of your support, encouraging words, hugs and best wishes... Thank you to Josh & Darlene for your continued support!!

Thank you to my family support... Tammy, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!!... I love you... To my mom... even though you were a major pain in my butt... thank you for your support and love... I know that you have been worried about me... but I'm OK... for the millionth time!! haha.... I love you very much and THANK YOU!! To Brittany & Haylee at home... thank you!! When I first came home from the hospital a year ago, you 2 were SO helpful.... It has been so much fun being able to become more active and play with you... I can't wait for it to get warmer so I can chase you 2 around the playground again... CAUSE I CAN RUN NOW AND I'M GONNA CATCH YOUR LITTLE BUTTS!! Thank you for your support all year long.... You have no idea that when you make comments like, "Wow Shell Shell... you are getting skinny" etc... ya just don't know how happy that makes me!! I love you 2 so much!! You are my little angels!!

And to my Angel looking down on me from above... There have been so many times over the last year when I've laid in bed and didn't feel good... I would talk to you... I would look at our pictures... I know that you were there holding my hand through the entire journey... The morning of my surgery.... You are the person that I thought of.... as I laid on the bed waiting to be taken to surgery... I kept thinking of you and asking you to watch over me... It was a difficult morning for me... We were in the same hosptial, floor, ICU, same doctor (Not Clark... but we won't go there... that's too difficult...) I was about to put my life in the hands of a great surgeon... in the same place where I lost you 6 years before.... My emotions were really going that morning... but I know it was because of your love that I've made it through this... :) Thank you grandma... I love you and miss you so much!!

Ok... now that I'm crying... I'm gonna stop... Thank you again to EVERYONE!! I sit here today... 1 year later... 160 lbs lighter... happier, healthier and more confident in myself. THANK YOU!!

12/4/03--- Not a whole lot has changed since the last time I posted... I'm still not feelin' good.. still throwing up... I eat slow, drink slow, etc... and still it comes up. The meds I've been given aren't helping with the vomiting.... I'm not really nauseous (I know I didn't spell that right). I take a couple of bits and bang... up it comes... I've been feelin' so weak and have no energy... it's been so bad that I had to resign from my job. So now, I'm not only feelin' like pooh... I have to find another job. YIPEE!! Merry Christmas to Michelle. lol.... Seriously... this isn't a pity party for myself... Just lots on my mind now days... Until next time... Keep losin'!! (Cause I don't seem to be doing much of that these days.....)

10/12/03--- Well, here I am almost 1 week post op... AGAIN!! Yea, that's right... due to the bariatric surgery, I've had to have my gallbladder taken out now. Why my surgeon didn't take it out during my Roux-n-y, I'll never understand. But.. .Oh well.. at least I'm not in pain like I was before. Ugh...

The good news is that I have lost so much weight, I was able to have it taken out Laproscopic. :)

My 9 month follow up appointment is later this month, about a week away, and I've lost 150 lbs. I'm starting to platue again. I haven't been getting as much exercise as I need to be. I've been so busy with rehearsals, school, and setting up a haunted house, I barely have time to think!! I'm EXHAUSTED!! Only about 4 more weeks to go and I'll get a break... HA!! Who am I trying to kid? lol...

Support group is on Monday evening. I'm really looking forward to it. Carol, the counselor from the clinic, will be doing the clinic. She's a GREAT lady!! Can't even begin to write how much she's helped me!! I'm so greatful to her!! When I've felt like there was absolutely no hope... she told me there was and then helped me see that hope. :) So, Carol, if ya by chance read this... THANK YOU!! (again)... hehe

Ok, ok... I'm outta here... I really need to get some work done... until next time... KEEP LOSIN'!!

9/10/03--- Thought I'd take some time and update my progress. I'm almost 8 months post op now. I'm down 140 lbs. I feel GREAT!! I have gone from a size 38 pants to a size 20/22.... I can't begin to describe how wonderful it feels to walk into a 'regular' store and be able to buy clothes.

I've also been a roller coaster freak this last summer. I love the new me!!!

7/9/03--- I'm almost 6 months post op. I have my follow up with Dr. Clark on the 21st. I'm feeling great!! I've lost 110 lbs. so far!! I went to an amusement park a couple of weeks ago and was able to ride a roller coaster for the first time in years!! Yahoo!!

I've changed so much since having the surgery. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I have found that I have more confidence now. I actually enjoy looking in the mirror at my new self. I have found myself saying, "Damn, lookin' good!!" to my reflection. lol

I had my hair cut short about a month ago. I walked into the Salon and said, "Chop it off!! I'm a new person now!!" I love the short hair compared long. It has been almost 20 years since my hair has been like this. :)

Well, guess that's enough for now. I'll update a little more often.

5/11/03--- Here I am nearly 4 months post op. It has been a roller coaster ride folks!! I've had my bouts with feeling like crap, being sick, upper GI's, etc.... But I'm so happy to be down 80 lbs. I can say that I feel sooo much better. I can walk up a flight of stairs now and not have to stop half way. The only problem is that I have to hold my pants up cause they fall off my butt. :) hehehehe

Almost to that 100 lb milestone!! Can't wait!!!


1/20/03--- 2 days.... OMG.... am I really gonna do this? I can't believe it. :) I'm all ready for surgery.... just waiting now... :)

1/7/03--- 2 weeks from today and I'm all set for surgery!! Wowsers... can't believe it. I went for my pulmonary function test yesterday and got the final ok from Dr. Buffy. I've started the pre-op diet. Protein shake for breakfast and lunch then a light dinner. I'm finding myself VERY hungry in the afternoon. I'm not eating a full lunch, but I did eat a banana for lunch the last 2 days....

The protein isn't too bad.... I've mixed it with half a banana and it's ok.... I'm sure I'll post more in the next few days.... I've been doing a lot of journaling.... that's helped me vent the emotional roller coaster that I've jumped on. lol

1/2/03--- I went for my pre-op tests today.... Almost didn't get the barium down for the upper gi... yuck... makes my tummy turn just thinking about it..... lol... I know, I know.... it's just the beginning for them.... I had the following tests today:

Upper GI
Gall Bladder Ultra Sound
EKG
Chest X-Ray
Labs - Bloodwork

I have to go next week for my Pulmonary Function test and get the final "ok" for surgery.... Dr. Buffy will look over my test results to make sure everything is alright.....

I have a little less than 3 weeks to go.... nervous, excited, scared.... don't seem to know how to feel. lol

12/29/02---- Thought I'd write down my WLS journey so far.... Well, after a couple months of waiting it is all set... January 22nd will be my day. I really can't believe how fast this entire process has gone...... I've read stories of how people wait 6 months to a year and a half for surgery, insurance approval, and even a first consult....

My journey was like this..... In early November my PCP (Primary Care Physician) discussed weight loss surgery during a visit. She gave me the number of a new program that was forming in Indianapolis through St. Francis Hospital. She gave me the phone number and said I should give it a call and see what they say.

So, I immediately went home and called. I was soooo excited!! I believe it was on a Monday that I called. I was set up to go to an informational meeting the following Monday evening.

The following Monday, off I go to the meeting..... there were several other people in the room. The meeting discussed the two options that the weight loss center offers..... surgical and non-surgical. I knew that I wanted to try the surgery..... couldn't stand the thought of yet another 'medically supervised diet'..... UGH!!

After the meeting I knew what I wanted to do..... I filled out the application that evening and was set on getting the ball rolling. The next morning I called my PCP and asked her to fax all of my medical records concerning weight loss and a letter of medical neccessity to the Center. Within 2 weeks the Center had all the information they needed so I was scheduled for my first consult with the Surgeon.

Dr. Clark was a super nice guy and very informative. After an examination and a lengthy Q and A session I was given his approval for surgery.

My next step was getting the psych eval.... I was given the number of a Dr. that St. Francis uses that they say is usually pretty fast about getting the psych report sent in.... So I called... set the appointment and was sooo disappointed to hear that the first available appointment was on January 27th and then it would take another 2-4 weeks to send out the report...... I'M NOT A PATIENT PERSON!!!

So I called another 'shrink' that I knew of and he got me in to see him THAT EVENING!! So I was lucky to not have to wait at least a month and a half..... He passed me with flying colors and praised me for making this tough decision..... (This was 2 weeks ago)

He had the psych eval to the Weight Loss Center by the end of that week and my insurance had all the information they needed by December 23rd. I knew with the Christmas Holiday it would a little slow.... (again I'M NOT A PATIENT PERSON!!) So, I called at 9 am on December 26th... lol

Asked if they had received the information and was told they had but it was on the desk of a girl who was out of the office until after the first of the year!!! UGH!!!

The wonderful lady from Humana (my insurance) said... "I'll get if off her desk and see what I can have done by the end of the day." I was happy with that!!

SHE CALLED ME BACK AN HOUR LATER AND SAID SHE RUSHED IT AND I WAS APPROVED!!!! Wohoo!!! I was so happy I started crying to her and told her that this was the best Christmas present that anyone could have ever given me.....

Hung up from the insurance office and called the Weight Loss Center.... told them the good news and they were amazed that I had gotten approved so fast.... scheduled my surgery for Jan. 22nd and my pre-op tests for sometime this upcoming week....

So... in the matter of about a month in a half I went from getting my PCP approval to a surgery date.... How lucky am I? How blessed? So to those of you waiting..... I wish speedy results....

Wow... guess I typed alot!! hehe.... I suppose it's good 'therapy' to type out everything.....

12/26/02---- I can't believe it's finally going to happen!! I was approved by my insurance company today!! I called my doctor's office and told them the news... I spoke with Jane, the wonderful lady who has answered so many questions for me, and she got right on to scheduling the surgery and my pre-op tests. So... I guess that January 22 is going to be the big day. Wohoooooo!!!!!!

About Me
Indianapolis, IN
Location
33.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
01/22/2003
Surgery Date
Feb 12, 2002
Member Since

Friends 1

Latest Blog 1
From the beginning.

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