Hillary D.
Hi Everyone,
I have been reading all of your stories, finding them so helpful and finally decided to share mine. I am in the process of getting a surgery date. I was already denied by insurance for lack of medical necessity, have decided not to appeal and will just be paying for it myself. I am so scared to go through this process but I really do feel it's the best decision for me.
I just turned 35 years old this past New Years Eve. I have been married for 8 years to a wonderful guy, Troy. I have 2 beautiful little girls, Caitlin 5 and Hailey 2. I love my family with all of my heart!
I have been struggling with weight issues since the 6th grade. I have tried every diet there is. If I was not pregnant, I was trying to diet. In the last 2 years, since having my last child I have tried LA Weight Loss and Jenny Craig. Each attempt I lose 25-30 lbs then put it back on. This constant yo-yo has lead me to WLS.
I am lucky that I have height on my side, at over 5'7"...and I have been told that I carry my weight well. I think my husband, friends and family would be shocked to know that I weight 268 lbs right now. I have always been the girl with the "pretty face", if only she'd lose a few pounds. Well a few pounds has now turned into at least 120 lbs. I really feel to live my life to the fullest I must get this weight off and this is my big chance. One of my best friends who struggled with me over the years had WLS one year ago and said she would do it again in a heartbeat. I was not ready a year ago but now I am. So wish me luck!
2/1/2007
I had my EGD yesterday....my surgeon Dr. Oh was actually the one who did it. I was surprised by that for some reason. Anyway...I guess it went fine. I don't remember much... my next appt is on 2/14 so I hope to get a surgery date by then.
2/10/2007
I am looking forward to my appt on 2/14. I am hoping to get my surgery date then...I need to make plans for work, etc... My mom offered to take some time off after my surgery to help me with my girls. I have told everyone necessary but my boss and my dad (long story on that one)... everyone has been so supportive. It helps to have that support when making this critical decision. Many of the profiles I have seen people list their goals. I think that's so important to do...so when you are feeling low you can read those, see what you want and what you have accomplished. I decided to start my list tonight.
Reasons to Lose My Weight
1. Be healthier for myself and my family.
2. Set a better example for my girls as they get older.
3. Wear "normal" sizes
4. Not stress about flying because of not fitting in the seats comfortably.
5. Not stress about amusement park rides because of not fitting on the ride.
6. Wear a swimsuit and not feel totally embarrassed.
7. Go skiing again...I have a mental image of this one...which involves a long weekend with my hubby up at Whistler BC.
8. Play tennis again...I loved tennis in college!
9. Ride bikes again...
10. HAVE MORE ENERGY!!
11. Not feel inhibited to do ANYTHING because of my weight.
12. Feel sexy again with my husband.
13. Live up to my potential!
14. This is a big one... my birthday is New Years Eve... I want to wear a slinky sexy dress and go out for a major night on the town with my husband for New Years Eve... preferrably this year 2007, would be such an accomplishment for me!
15. Live a healthy lifestyle without obsessing about it. Eat to live, instead of living to eat... having control over my food vs food controlling me.
16. Have pictures taken with my girls and my husband. I have never had any family picture with my youngest and only had one taken with my oldest child.
2/16/2007
I have a sugery date!!! 4/19/2007...I am very excited now! I could have done it on March 20th but decided to wait until school is out for me mid april. I am also feeling so great about my surgeon Dr. Oh. I have several appts between now and my date to get though. I told my job and have my post surgery plans in progress. Things are moving along!
2/22/2007
I have an appt with the psychologist on Monday 2/26...should be interesting to see what he has to say. Yikes! I have an appt Wednesday morning 2/28 at the hospital for EKG, Ultrasound, Blood Tests, etc...then an appt with the nutritionist that afternoon.
Then on Saturday 3/10 I have another doctor appt with an internist to review the hospital test results...
If all of that goes ok...and will just be waiting for the DATE 4/19/2007! I still have my days when I am in denial...then other days I feel so much excitement to finally have a tool that will help me be rid of this dreaded fat forever! I threw out a bunch of my fat pants this past fall when I had lost 30 lbs...now I need them again! UGH! I will just have to suffer in tight pants until my surgery... or try to lose a few lbs on my own between now and then. What a mess I am in! =)
I know that I am very insecure about the end result of all of this. I am worried about how my relationships with my husband, family and other people will change. I have a thin mom and sister...and I have always been the chunky one...so I really think things are going to change and that is SCARY. But I am ready to take it on!!! I have decided I better get myself into a support group. There is one this weekend and I need it!
3/13/2007
Completed all of my testing, nutrition class, psych eval and met with internist to go over results. I am healthy...but obese. =( Made me feel guilty in some ways that I am resorting to this surgery but I don't know what's down the road if I don't get this weight off... it's not going to get easier as I get older, thats for sure.
Still worried about this surgery...just want it to get here. I will start my liquid diet on 4/5/07, 2 weeks before my procedure. I am scared about having pain...I hope it's not too bad. I am hoping it's similar to my c-sections...those were not too bad at all for me.
Anyway....I am now trying some products from Vitalady... protien shakes are pretty good. I am starting now to protien load to help with recovery.
3/30/2007
I start my liquid diet on Thursday...right before Easter, ugh! I am getting more and more excited about starting the PERMANENT weight loss process. I have one appt left to go on 4/13 where I pay all of my money to everyone, Surgeon, Hospital and Anesthesiologist...it's my last office visit and then it will be surgery day! Just wanted to note that I am finally feeling more excited...less worried about it all. I am sure I will feel more different as they wheel me into the operating room... yikes!
4/5/2007
Today is the first day of the liquid diet... it's HARD! I know it's for the best and I know it will help me lose weight before surgery and it will help the surgeon do the very best job he can... I keep thinking these thoughts so I can do this. Of course at work today we had a meeting that was catered with a yummy breakfast...I sat by myself so I would not have to smell the food or watch others eat. Wish me luck...=0
4/16/2007
I am almost finished with the first 2 weeks of my liquid diet before surgery. The first few days were horrible but it's much easier now...I am just trying to stay away from food and food smells as much as possible. I still have to cook for my family.
I saw my doctor on Friday the 13th... paid everyone my money and I am just waiting to show up on Thursday morning at 5:30am! Please wish me luck and say a prayer...I can use all I can get! Now if I can just get past the surgery pain part...that's my next fearful hurrdle!!
4/24/2007
OK...I worried for nothing!!! This was such a great experience...I made it though the surgery with no complications so far. I feel so great...no pain, tiny incisions that are healing nicely...it was a great hospital stay. I can't say enough except that I feel so blessed to have made it though and to be losing! I am just waiting for my energy to kick back in. I am waiting to add protien shakes back in, I think that will help. I have kept liquids down since I got back to my room from the surgery. My only issue so far was a little gas and hiccups!! All I have to say is thank god!
6/13/2007
I am almost 2 months out and down 42 lbs! The weight loss feels great! I do feel like a slower loser but that's ok...might make the skin issues better in the long run. I am able to eat anything I have tried...but I have not done milk or sugar per my doctor's instructions. I do get naseaus a lot when I eat though... still trying to figure that out. Anyway...I will update again later.
