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A question you maybe asking, and the answer is TO STINKING WORK!!!

I dreaded it, but did it. I had to go. If I didn't I was going to split my pouch open. I'm not lying either.
You know every week they step it up a little for you; granted I know everyone's program is different, some strict some lenient.
So the more stuff they give me, the more stuff I try. Being home all day with 3 children for about 2 weeks, was going to make me fatter and crazier than what I already am.

I just feel like with the last storm that hit, and my husband doing the grocery shopping, there was soo much junk in the house, not that I was necessarily eating it, but instead of having like 2 crackers and calling it a day....I'd have one at 9, get it down, maybe even another one, then I'd nibble all day on crackers, one here one there.

Oh, announcement everyone!!!!! I had my first dumping experience!!! You wonder why I'm so excited about that? Because at my last appointment the nurse seemed so upset it hadn't happened yet. You should have seen the twinkle in her eyes dim when I told her it hadn't happened to me yet. So, I guess I've gotten a new GBP Patch, to hide over the scars on my belly...Whooo hoooo! I get to see my nurse on Friday, so I can't wait for the balloons and confetti to stream down on my slenderizing chubby cheeks, once I inform her that I did dump, it didn't hurt, I'm officially an RNY'er! She'll be so proud .
For the record, I dumped on a cracker with peanut butter...go figure! She told me I could have peanut butter, she told me I could have crackers....I figured protein...yea! but as soon as I swallowed it, it got hung up in my throat, I drank a little, and about 5 minutes later, that classic feeling when your getting ready to throw up....water mouth, sweat....it was a calm sort of thing. No violence...not thrashing about....not praying to the porcelian God....just up and out!

Another thing that I realized is the 30/30 rule rocks! At first I couldn't fathom eating without drinking, and a couple of times, I actually ate stuff and followed it with something to drink. I'll be the first to tell you its a horrible thing. Just horrible.  When I eat something too fast, don't chew it 104 times, or follow it with water/anything to drink, I instantly turn into Fred G. Sanford. The first thing I want to do is grab my heart and the closes chair at the same time. Seriously, its the first mental picture that creeps into my mind when I do that....weird I know, but that's what I do. 

I'm leaving work, so hopefully I'll be updating this weekend!

Until next time!

Well, well, well. You'd think since the biggest snow storm of the season, I would have been on here typing away...nope, hybernating like a bear. I've slept so much in the last couple of days, I almost (get I said almost) feel ashamed.  I've been waking up at 7, listening to the news, and passing right back out at 11 am, and waking up between 3-4pm....ahhhh what a life :0)

So my big appointment went rather fine.  She told me I could eat purees, when I want to eat pasta...so you know how that went. I don't know if its laziness, or what, but I'm not feeling puree foods. You know, you get so prepared for this surgery and stuff, and everything sounds so good "yes, I can do that", "no problem, piece of cake", well, I'm here to tell you, there is a problem with that piece of cake. I don't want to do it. The thought of me grinding up something to make it soupy doesn't sit well with me. Sorry, I'm being honest. Flame me if you want, it just looks gross.  That being said, I've decided to cook stuff that gets as close to puree as possible, so I've been on a Cream of Wheat, Oatmeal, Grits diet. Its working out pretty well, but honestly I'm not very hungry so I'm only eating those things once if not twice a day. She said on Friday, I can have stuff like tuna, and crackers, so I guess I'm waiting in anticipation for that.  No big deal, I can wait. My husband thinks I'm stubborn....how long has he been married to me? Really? Is that really a shocker? I'm stubborn....DUH!!!

On to my soup.....you know Zuppa Toscana, that I've been fantisizing about like a hot nekkid man on the beach....it was okay. Yeah, I know. I thought it was going to be everything and more, but it was okay. So, I'm warning my new tummy friends....it won't be all its cracked up to be. That's one thing I've learned in the last two weeks. Everything I've tried, has been "okay". I won't say its been nasty, just "Okay".  That being said, I will continue to fantisize, because tasting what my head wants surely doesn't pay off.

My pouch....just wondering has anyone ever thought about their surgery. I mean, do you really know if the doctor did the right procedure. I know if you get the lapband, you know you got the lapband because hell, theres a port and stuff...but what about the GBP folks. Who am I to say my dr. didn't give me a Sleeve? I know its crazy, but in my sleeping travels, this has come into my brain one too many times. Don't get me wrong, I love whatever he did, but I'm just saying, who really knows. I was expecting  to get a DVD, like when you get an indepth sonogram...."Inside the Tummy of a GBP Warrior"......something to let me know, "Hey, this is what we did". But nothing. I don't know, just something I was thinking about, and well...whatever I'm thinking about I usually just post here

Until next time friends......

I get to see my Dr's nurse. Hallelujah!!! You would think she was going to tell me to eat a cow....that's how excited I am.
I'm going to be honest....I'm not hungry. There is absolutely nothing going on in my belly saying "Feed Me SEYMOUR"....however I'm cooking dinners like usual, and I can't help but want to sit down and eat with everyone else.

My discharge papers were very unclear. I've been on liquids since I came home...fine I'm guessing, but I seriously feel like I'm ready to chew something...but a very wise lady sent me a message that said "your still healing"....I needed that...thank you Bernice!!!! I think sometimes I forget that I had major surgery. I mean I know I did, but since I'm feeling great, I tend to forget my insides may still look like gobbledy gook.

You know what I want for dinner tomorrow, provided she tells me I can have soup? Real soup? Zuppa Toscana from Olive Garden....I've been dreaming about that for about a week. Oh, and I probably didn't mention that after my surgery I woke up Italian...yep, bonafide Italiano, lol. I have been craving everything Italian since the second day....its a crazy thing considering I was the least bit interested in Italian food before....now I want sausage and peppers over penne pasta...pasta bake....you name, even stuff I know I wouldn't have touched before...its amazing. Back to my soup...that soup is awesomely fantastic....potatoes, sausage and spinach....I know I can't eat that stuff, the soup itself is divine. You know what would truly hurt my sweet, innocently tender feelings? Finding out my brain and my tongue don't agree on the same thing. That would hurt. I'm really big on not eating something that made me sick, regardless of how much I love it.

Oh well, I'll have much to talk about tomorrow....dr.'s appt, big snow to shut the city down, and I can't eat warm chocolate chip cookies while watching the snow fall? Yeah....I'm gonna have A LOT  to talk about.

Until next time.....

The one thing that I have learned being home this week? Your Baby Can Read commercials SUCK
Laugh if you want, but if I hear that little girl repeat that line one more morning, mid-morning, afternoon, or early evening, I'm going to go crazy!!!! I never noticed how often they played that commercial until now!

Oh, my other vow for today?......I promise I'll never divorce you.
Yes, my sweet husband made me promise this....again today. Woke me up out of a lovely nap to make  me take the oath.
He's funny. Weight or no weight, he doesn't realize that only he would put up with my craziness....why would I leave him? All the hard work it took to get him where I need him and throw all of that away for a couple of pounds lost? Heavens no!!!

I've been bad. I made pasta bake last night and tasted a noodle...call the police, the psych ward....take me out in a straight jacket....I know not what I do . It was good. Nothing happened, but I know better...oh, and I tasted the cheese too.

You guys are probably thinking "this chick is crazy", but seriously, this is how I am 24/7.... I must really be back, lol

I'm feeling great, barely any pain.

I haven't been taking all my meds, and half of that is because I can't remember. No, I'll retract that. I have not been taking my vitamins. I couldn't find them once I returned home, and I'm pissed because it was brand new, and no one seems to know where it is! I have been taking my Lovenox and Prevacid, but that's about it. I haven't seen my PCP, so I'm not taking any of my diabetic medicine yet, and I'm fine with that considering my blood sugar hasn't been higher than 140 since I got home, and of course anyone taking their blood sugar would know, that's not really regulated because I'm not really eating anything. I've just been drinking.

First WOW moment:

I no longer own Kankles!!! Yes ladies and gentleman, my ankles look normal. I didn't know they didn't look normal until Sunday morning before church.

Church Sunday was interesting. I've never really told anyone other than my family that I was interested in having surgery. That being said, everyone knew the reason I had not been to church or one of the various rehearsals I attend. At first I was a little pissed, because I knew my MIL had told some people I was having surgery and to pray for me; and the average person would ask "what for", so I can only imagine how that went.  I believe she disclosed to some people, and you know how church is, I need not say anything else! Then I thought about it, maybe I'll be someones inspiration. Why lie? I'm so proud of myself for going threw with this surgery, the last thing I'm going to do, is deny having it done to my 'church family'....now work? Totally different subject.

Until next time....

Well, this is technically day 2 of being home. I was really worried about leaving the hospital Thursday night because I remember them mentioning snow, and I wasn't really sure when it was supposed to hit, so I'm super happy I'm home for it.

I may have mentioned that yesterday was my daughters birthday. Everything was fine, we rocked out (as always) to Band Hero. I sang a lot, so that was my lung exercise for yesterday, lol.  I surprisingly wasn't very interested in the Domino's pizza, that everyone ranted and raved about being soooooo good, because of the new recipe....nope, not one bit, lol. I did pretty okay, until I started serving ice cream, and licked the ice cream off my finger.....its habit folks! I was actually shocked it tasted like medicine, so I guess that was a good thing, lol.

I decided to sleep on the couch, because when I got home Thursday, it was like 9:30 at night, and my son was so excited to see me he decided he'd put on a show for all of 2 hours. I let him perform, he's only 2 and I'm positive he didn't know where I had been. Eventually he tired, but still wanted to sleep with me, so he slept in my bed, and my husband slept on the couch. Needless to say I really didn't get any sleep. So last night after all that partying, I was shocked that I actually got some real sleep. I didn't wake up until around 6, which was awesome, considering I don't think I got 2 hours of consecutive sleep in the hospital.

And everyone is absolutely right when they say everyday gets better!

Today, I was able to drink apple juice without watering it down and I'm not on any pain medication.
As I explained to my family, with everything I've been drinking (just water, juices, and protein shakes), if its sweet, my stomach seems to be turning it, as if its trying to figure out if it likes it or not. Its like the beginning of a sour stomach. Its like my stomach is saying "nooooooo.........Oh yes, yes, yes". However today, its just been like "yes, yes, yes", so I'm pleased.  Water is interesting, it has an interesting taste, so the fact that I can drink the apple juice with no problem, is heavenly.

We'll see what tomorrow brings!

I'm still having a hard time coming to grips with having this surgery. Not in a bad way though, I just can't believe I actually went through with it. I'm going to be honest, the night before I was soooooo nervous, and scared, I couldn't get to sleep. I mean, I think I finally fell asleep around 4, which really ended up making me late because I didn't get up until almost 6, and I was supposed to be at the hospital by 7.

Okay, I live in Bowie, MD. My surgery was being performed in Washington, DC. Anyone that has been here knows traffic during rush hour is NO JOKE! That being said, we didn't get to the hospital until 7:45 am. My filter was supposed to be put in at 8, so that alone had me worrying, however the staff at GW Hospital, were sooooo sweet and caring. When I got in, I paid the co-payment, and they whisked me off to the area where I'd change my clothes and stuff. I don't even know if my husband had even finished parking the car, but they were doing stuff so fast, I didn't know what to think. So by 8:05 I was already dressed in a hospital gown, while they were taking my vitals. A couple of minutes after that this nice male nurse, took me to IR, so they could put in my filter.  

Okay, the funny part about that is, I was in this room for what seemed like 20 minutes, but when I actually left it was 5 minutes to 10. At one point the Dr. says "Hey, does this feel sharp or dull"....okay, I'm listening to the neosoul music they have going, wiggling my toes to the music, and like a minute late I answer "I'm sorry, were you talking to me", he giggles and says "that's just the answer I was looking for", lol. By that time, everything was in place. They took me back to where I started.

By this time, they found my hubby and mother in law, and allowed them to see me before they took me into the OR. I was happy to see them, and still making jokes, when the anesthesiologist came in and was like "sweetie, your probably going to get real sleepy because we're going to give you something in your veins".  At that moment, they gave me the meds, my MIL said another prayer for me (Thank God), and I was able to ask one more question....Am I going to be totally naked, or are you guys gonna keep my socks on?!  I know your thinking that's a crazy question, but hey, how many Discovery Channel shows have you seen where the person is completely nekkid....granted I'm not 700lbs, but still.

All I remember was someone smiling at me, and then being back in that same spot, with people looking at me, and feeling in a lot of pain. There was my surgery. To me, every bit of 7 minutes, on the clock looked like 7 hours. When I came too, I did a lot of throwing up, which you all know is not good, considering I hadn't eaten in a day. I honestly felt like I had been thrashing about, however my hubby said I couldn't even move....which sounds about right.

All in all, I slept a lot the first night, btw I wasn't in my room until after 6 pm, and by Wednesday I felt better.
I'll give a shout out to Mrs. Jenny and Ms. Anna....two of the sweetest nurses I've ever encountered in a hospital, and I've had 3 youngins, lol.

I'm just happy I made it through, and super excited about whats next to come!

Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers

I am a ball of nerves....that's all I can say. A great big ball of nerves.

I'm excited about tomorrow, but nervous all the same. I really can't blieve I've made it to this point.
I started this journey back in 2005, and now that its here, I seriously can't believe it.
I'm just praying (along with my family) that everything is uneventful, and I make it to the LOSER'S BENCH safely.

I also want to thank everyone else for their prayers and answering all my crazy questions :0)

Hopefully I get to take pictures tonight and post them.

See you guys on the Loser's Bench

Okay, so its been a minute since I've updated, but so much stuff has gone on since Christmas, sometimes I need to refocus :0)

Its the Saturday before my surgery and I'm almost jittery, not quite there yet. I still can't believe I'm getting this surgery, and I mean this in a good way. Once I told my husband that I wanted this surgery as bad as I wanted a Cabbage Patch doll back inthe 80's....you know what I mean, when folks were fighting for them in the department stores and stufff, lol.  It just seems so surreal that its actually going to happen.

On January 21st, I went to GW Hospital to do my pre-admission stuff and also to take the tour. Now when they say tour, I was thinking that it was going to be a tour like when your having a baby....NOT, lol. They took me to a conference room, and basically explained everything that was going to happen from the time I arrive to the time I'm discharged. This was soooo helpful and actually put some of my fears at rest. The nurse really thoroughly explained everything to my husband and I.

So, I have to be at the hospital at 7 am, and I'm going to shoot for earlier just because I really want to be on time. Apparently after I pay the co-pay in pre-admissions again, I got to another floor to get prepped for surgery. I'm getting a filter, and that is scheduled for 8 am. My actual surgery is scheduled for 9:45 am.

I had a pre-op diet to follow for 3 weeks, that didn't go as well as I had planned. I cheated...a lot, but I guess that's human. I've lost about 11 lbs so far, hopefully I can make that stick. I said I was going to do straight Slimfast for the next couple of days, but we'll see how that goes. Right now I'm in "nesting mode" as my husband puts it.  Its not that, its just I'm super cleaning stuff,  washing stuff, and just getting ready to be out of commission for a minute, nothing is wrong with that.
My mother in law is so sweet, she's offered to take the week off and help out at my house. I told her it wouldn't be needed considering my huband will be home with me until probably Februay 1st or 2nd, and my sister in law is a stay at home that has offered to come and keep me company, and my girls will be helpful as well, so I'm not concerned. I actually hope I'm feeling like my self, at least a little bit by the first week of February.

Well, I'm going to finish cleaning, but I fully plan to have my daughter take some pictures of me so I can post them on here later!

My Pre-Operative Appointment


I really didn't know what to expect going into this appointment. I knew I had to meet with the nutritionist and see the surgeon, but still didn't know what that involved.

Meeting with the nutritionist was cool. She gave me two plans I could follow for my 3 week diet before surgery. I think I'll go with the plan involves, slim fast and lean cuisine meals. That just seems like something that would be easier to follow. She said that the first 3 days would probably be my hardest, I hope that's it!

The meeting with the surgeon was as real as it gets. I had to fill out all the preoperative paperwork. It felt like I was signing my life away. Of course you have to agree to this and that, and it was definitely overwhelming, but I think it was smart to do it now, because trust me, if I had to fill that stuff out hours before or even a day before surgery, I may actually change my mine, or at least question if this was really a good decision. I know it is, but like many folks on here, I have children and a husband, and just the thought of not being here for them, because of something that could possibly go wrong in an elective surgery wouldn't sit right with me, and may make me question my reasons for getting the surgery done.

Anyway......! Its over. I signed my rights away, lol.
I'm super excited, and I'm sure in the coming weeks, I'll get super nervous. But I'm getting that surgery!