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Well it has been a while since I have posted.  The summer has kept me quite busy with the boys.  My schedule is no longer existent and we are just flying by the seat of our pants on most days.  I love it.  I am ready to get back on track though.  It seems like summer has brought me much less structure with my eating and exercise.  Most days I am okay but I know that sometimes I am not as disciplined as I should be or at least want to be.  I have also come to realize that this is indeed just a tool and that I work my a## off to lose this weight.  I know that is the way it is supposed to be and I am thankful still that I made this decision but it is so hard.  I am still motivated and determined.  I will battle this always and I will not let it defeat me.  I have noticed quite a change in my appearance.  I know my clothes are very loose and I get to pick something out of my closet quite often that I have not worn in years.  I may not be stylish but I am fitting in to smaller clothes and that is exciting.  I am hoping to be on here more as I think this site motivates me when I read what other people go through and I know I am not alone.           

Well it has been a while sinc eI have posted but things have been good. I am sticking to my eating plan and not making any huge changes.  I have been stuck in the same place for the past few days but I think if I just keep on it will move eventually.  I need to exercise more.  My son graduated from high school this past weekend and we are havinga party for him this coming weekend.  It is a good reason to celebrate and have a party and when we have something at the house it is extra motivation for us to get things completed.  So we have been working so hard to clean up the yard, plant things, landscape, work on the deck, etc. and then inside just cleaning up clutter stuff.  By the time we are done wokring on things I am so tired I have little energy to exercise.  Now I know that all of the things we are doing is exercise.  Gardening is a huge calorie burner and to be honest if I had not lost the weight I have so far I would not be out there working my a** off to do anything I would be sitting on the couch eating chips and dip.  So anyway like I said I am sure it will come off.  I have been to the pool a few times and that was a phenomenal feeling.  I know I don't look like some beach babe at all but at least I felt comfortable just walking around the pool in my suit for a change.  I have always felt very self conscious about suits and pools and for whatever reason it is just comfortable.  The best partis my kids actually get to see me running in and out of the pool, playing with them, watching them do tricks and jumps, etc. instead of being focused on hiding my body.  
I have tried different foods and really some work and some just don't.  We went for pizza the other night and I had a beer.  Big mistake.  No pizza just a beer.  No more beer for me.  Three sips and I felt it right in my belly and it just did not feel good.  But you know when it is really hot and you just would like a refreshing beer?  That was the feeling I had.  Not anymore.  I can stick with a tall glass of refreshing water.  

I am 22 days out now and feeling pretty good.  I have had some days where I thought all I could do was sleep all day.  I just had no energy and it was so weird but today was a great day and I felt motivated all day long.  I have to say exercise really helps and I am starting to enjoy it a little bit.  I gardened today and before I never really wanted to get down and do all that hard work but today it just came so much easier.  I feel better in my body.  I went shopping last night ....well window shopping and I have to say all the smaller clothes are so much cuter in the stores.  I hate that but it really is the truth.  So that gave me motivation to keep on keeping on and keep on moving and exercising so I can keep losing.      

I have to say today was the hardest day since surgery.  I am not really sure if I have just pushed myself too far or just feeling yuk but I am so tired it is unelievable.  I just feel drained.  I am hoping to just rest a few days and then hoepfully recharge my batteries.  I took a two hour nap today which never happens so I was beat.  I am losing and feel like I am losing, think I need a new scale just to be sure.  Maybe tomorrow I will get one.   

I am seven days out today and I am doing so well.  I feel really good and my stitches are healing very quickly.  I do wish I had a picture of the inside of my belly just to see where everything is placed.  I am curious.  I keep eating three times a day, taking my time, eating just what I am supposed to.  I am so proud of myself.  I really am doing this and I do not feel deprived at all.  Sugar free popsicles have become my new best friend just because I can crunch on that and it feels like I am getting something.  I am drinking what I need to and I absolutely feel the weight coming off.  I have the oldest scale in America or perhaps the world so I cannot really get on that and get a good reading.  I thought about buying one but then I really do not need an obesession with the scale.  My mom and dad have a good scale I will just weigh over there.  Cannot wait.  
Last night my husband asked when I could finally go out to eat somewhere.  Well you know that is one of my downfalls.  We did not eat out often but when we did it was just a free for all.  Like by the time you had the appetizer and salad we were both full but so what the entree was coming so we had to eat it!  It will not be the same and that is okay with me but I think he will be surprised because it will not be like it used to be.  Does anyone know or has anyone had wine to drink?  I do like red wine very much especially when we eat out or just go to a social event.  I was not sure on that, maybe I will post on a board.  It is a liquid but probably not the kind they mean.      
Anyway, I am just very proud of myself.  I know "others" do not understand that the band is just a tool and it is very hard work so I will do a lot of self back patting.  Everyone needs that.  

My surgery went without a hitch.  I was in and out quickly and my recovery in the hospital was short and sweet.  I was home by 3 p.m.  I was extremely tired, pretty sore and if I never looked at food again I would be fine.  Everyone in the hospital was wonderful.  They kept asking me what I was there for and each time I told them they just congratulated me on giving a gift to myself.  I never expected that kind of support.  
Since my surgery recovery has been a little bit harder than I thought it would.  Let me tell you I have NEVER had any kind of surgery at all so I am sort of a wimp at this.  The gas was the hardest part.  The pain from that was just annoying and excrutiating at times.  I am also not one to take pain medications but you can bet I did.  Fast forward to today.....I feel pretty darned good.  I am not taking pain meds, still getting lots of rest but pretty perky with or without.  I do eat my few ounces at mealtimes but it truly is satisfying and filling.  I have also noticed that I actually feel extreme hunger when it is time to eat and before I don't even think I allowed myself to feel that I just gave myself food all of the time.  The whole thing is fascinating and is a huge change in my life.  Best part.....my husband came out of the room yesterday and his dress slacks were loose around his waist.  He has actually lost weight because of my journey.  He has had to eat less and eat healthier because that is all I will serve so that is a great thing.  If you will be having this surgery I wish you well and I have to say just when you think "What was I thinking" know that it is all worth it and this too shall pass.      

Tomorrow is the big day.  I am excited.  I do have several butterflies in my tummy but I think I will be okay.  It was hard leaving my little guys with my mom tonight just because.  I am confident everything will be good and I have faith I will come through this just fine.  Thanks for all of your prayers!   

I told my husband today I really need to be journaling this experience.  Then I realized I do have the opportunity to do it through OH.  So here goes....
I have been on the liquid diet now for nine days.  Honestly, the thought of this liquid diet was in my mind going to be the most difficult thing to do.  I am a  person that actually likes to eat things as in chew them.  So the last nine days have been so different from one another.  I have done so well!  I have not cheated at all simply because I am a rule follower kind of person when it comes to these things and I absolutely want them to have as much room as possible inside to do whatever they need to do.  It has really not been as bad as I thought it would be.  My son's eighteenth birthday fell on Friday and I had a barbecue for him.  I thought it would be hard to see all of that wonderul food and not eat it but I did very well.  I had my protein prior and kept full on Crystal Light and water.  It was fine.  Today I have actually felt a bit lightheaded and so that has not been a good feeling.  In fact I had to lay down and nap a little bit.  Weird.  I have also become a bit anxious about the upcoming procedure and I think that is weighing on my mind alot.  There are just so many feelings and emotions are high.  I really did not think about how I would feel closer to.
I have also been trying to get many things done so I don't have to worry about much during my recovery.  My mom is actually going to come over and help a bit so of course I want a clean house for that.  
What is it about mom's?  I can work all day on my house and laundry and my mom can do what I did in an hour.  She is amazing.  Maybe I will be able to do that someday.