illinilady
START
Highest Weight Ever (8/31/04): 343 BMI 47.8
Last Pre-Surgery Weigh In with PCP (10/2005): 336
Pre-Surgery Stats (4/16/05):
BMI: 45.9
Weight: 329 (lost some weight via weight watchers as part of doctor supervised weight loss plan)
Height: 5'11"
Comorbities: Sleep Apnea, Elevated BP (so far no meds), GERD
Other Stuff: swollen ankles, joint soreness, some (very rare) incontinence, sore knees
Have been overweight all my life. First diet in second grade. Have lost (and regained) hundreds of pounds in my lifetime. Most recently lost 110 pounds but within 5 years had gained it all back. I then gained an additional 50 pounds. Over the last 2 years I've done weight watchers off and on, but have ended up at 330 - 335 at 5'11".
JOURNAL
5/31/08
Just checking in. Have had a slight rebound gain and am now holding at around 206 - but a very healthy 206. Size wise still wearing 14 talls and 12s on top. I feel great about how I look and even better about my health.
I ran a 1/2 marathon about a month ago!! Finished in 2 hours 27 minutes with 11:21 avg miles. For me it was incredibly awesome and validating. I ran a triathlon last summer and plan to do another one in a few weeks (1/2 mile swim, 15 mile bike and 3.1 mile run)! I ran the Shamrock Shuffle 8k (roughly 5 miles) in March in Chicago with 30,000 of my closest friends! Finished in a great time for me with per mile averages of under 10 1/2 minutes!! I love being healty!! It never ceases to amaze me that I am able to do the things that I can do physically - when I could barely get up off the couch and had difficulty getting up off the floor before surgery. Also, nearly 3 years out and all of my labs are normal or above average. I no longer have high blood pressure, blood sugars are down and my cholesterol is awesome. I did a baseline bone density test before surgery and just did one a few weeks ago. It came out excellent and much better than before surgery. Am still very careful about supplements - vitamins, minerals and protein.
Exercise schedule has been a bit eratic since I finished the 1/2 marathon, but in general I'm doing 2 hours a week of weights, 3 sessions a week of running (varying from 1/2 an hour to an hour or more at a time) and trying to fit in swimming as well on 1 -2 days a week.
In general, life is very good.
12/11/06
Been holding steady around 191. My next goal is to break 190! Utlimately I want to get down to 172. Size wise I wear a 10-12 on top and 14 tall/longs on the bottom, but those pants are getting loose (especially in the waist). Just a bit over a year ago I was wearing size 28 shirts and size 30 tall pants!
I crossed another thing off the list of stuff to do when I'm thin! I flew on an airplane. I didn't need a seatbelt. The tray table went down all the way with room to spare - no belly, no thighs getting in the way. It was great!!
I'm still exercising 6 days a week, though the last 2 I've been traveling on weekends so I've only managed to get in 5 days. That actually worked out okay because I needed to taper my running for a 5K. Yup! I ran a 5k fun run yesterday!! I ran it in 32 minutes and roughly 30 seconds! WOO HOO!! That meant I achieved my first goal (running the whole way and finishing) and my stretch goal (a time under 33 minutes)! Under 33 minutes means that I ran faster than I train, since I run 11 minute 30 second miles on the treadmill. I'm definitely going to increase my speed!
Next race will be my company sponsored run in mid-April. Will do a 10K if one is offered!
To celebrate hitting the -150 pounds point and holding it I bought myself a leather biker jacket with Harley Davidson across the back of it! So excited! It's a womens large and it's very form fitting. That should motivate me to keep on track!
Lately it has gotten harder since I can eat more than I could the first six months or so. Still recording everything on fitday.com - good, bad or ugly (and there's been some ugly)! I find that forcing that accountability helps me to make better decisions.
It's truly amazing how far I've come in a bit over a year. Down 152 pounds, running (and running races even!!) and healthy. Life is good.
9/26/06
I'm almost exactly 11 months out and I've finally hit ONE-DERLAND!!! WOO and HOO!! 198 for 3 days in a row now so it's official! I'm now down 145 pounds from my all time high of 343 and down 138 from my pre-surgery weigh in at 336.
I'm still working very hard at this. I work out 6 days a week: 1 hour of weights 2 days a week (1 of those with a personal trainer); Jogging 3 days a week (13+ miles total - 2 days at 4 miles and one at 5) plus whatever I do in warm up and cool down; and, swimming 3 days a week (1/4+ mile or 15 minutes after weight sessions and 1.125 miles or 1 hour one day a week).
I still log everything on fitday.com. If I don't log it I have a bit of amnesia about how much I'm actually taking in. Not a good thing as that amnesia in part helped to get me to an all time high of 343 pounds. I found that I needed to increase the carbs to lose weight while training at the rate I'm going. I stalled at 1500 calories and only 30% or so from carbs. So, (based on conversation with my nutrionist) I upped calories to a max of 1600 and made sure that my additions were complex carbs - expecially grains when possible - with a goal of 40% of calories from carbs. My stall finally stopped and I dropped almost 3 pounds in a week!
I can't believe that I can jog over an hour without keeling over and swim a mile. I'm already planning on running a 5K in December, a 10K in the spring and a mini triathlon in the fall. All of that just to continue to keep me motivated beyond weight loss - because I know that some day that will stop. Besides, this was all about health to start and that needs to continue to be my focus.
That being said, I really am liking being perceived as normal weight. I tell folks that I'd still like to lose 25 pounds - to put me firmly in the normal BMI range for my height - and they tell me I'll be too skinny! Go figure. Never thought I'd hear that! I'm wearing size 14 long clothes on the bottom for the most part and size 12 or Medium shirts. Can't believe that as I was a much lighter weight last time I fit into size 14 pants.
Life is pretty good for now, but balance in all things is a very hard thing to maintain. No rollercoasters yet, but I'll get there! My 15 year old nephew wants to hit Great America with me this season.
7/17/06
Visited my sister in Colorado and lost weight! I finally hit 215 (that's -121 pounds from my last pre-surgery weigh in). Am wearing size 18 (regular 18s not 18W) on the bottom and 14s on the top!! Hitting 215 makes me NOT obese!!! WOO and HOO!! Very excited, though still overweight. Next goal is to make it to something starting with a 1! Ultimately I'd like to hit 175 - 178. That would put me barely at "normal".
While in Colorado I did something off of my 'to do once I'm thin list' even though I'm not exactly thin. I went horseback riding in the mountains! It was great and it was really great not to have to worry about hurting the horse. You know what I mean if you're reading this. I also got to check off the box on the disclaimer / questionnaire that said 'under 250 pounds'!
Next thing to do on that list is roller coasters!! They are on the list because I once waited in line for almost 2 hours to get on a roller coaster only to find that I couldn't fit in the safety gear. Yup. I got turned away from the ride in front of all my friends and the rest of the folks there. It was so painfully embarrassing. Think I need to exercise that demon once and for all.
Speaking of exercise - I'm doing it!! Seeing the personal trainer for a one hour total body weight lifting work out once a week and actually working out on my own too! Doing another hour total body weight lifting workout and at least 3 (sometimes more) cardio workouts a week. AND those cardio workouts are actually me jogging. JOGGING! ME?!?!? Before I had surgery if you would have told me that I would be jogging 8 months later I would have told you that you were crazy. And yet here I am jogging! I can do 2 miles at 4.7 mph without my heart rate going crazy. Yesterday I did 3 miles in 39 minutes! Unbelievable!
Also, got word from my surgeons office that my bloodwork came back much improved! Iron is normal / high enough that I don't even have to take my extra iron supplement anymore (provided my multivitamin has enough iron in it). And protein is near normal (it had been low). YEA!! Very good news considering my iron was bordering on anemic last time.
Between the improved lab numbers and the exercise I have so much more energy! It's great. Ciao for now!
5/16/06
Went on vacation and still managed to lose some weight. Had been on yet another brief stall (of about a week). Brought a lot of my own food with me so that I could have some measure of control, but dinners were difficult (as were most lunches). Now down 110 pounds to 226! Am wearing size 18 jeans (starting to get loose) and 14 tops. I was very surprised (and excited) to find that I needed a size L in sweatshirts and t-shirts!!
While on vacation I saw a lot of people I only see maybe once a year and they were pretty amazed at how good I looked. Had several people want to talk to me about GBS and I happily tallked to them. Somehow I'm not as shy when I'm talking to someone who I know understands what it's like to be so big.
Still not where I want to be on exercise though I at least joined a health club and went for personal training. The health club has a pool and I can't believe it but I'm actually wanting to get a bathing suit and go swimming! Haven't felt up to that in years!
4/24/06
After a lengthy stall (several weeks), I'm almost exactly 6 months out and down 102 pounds (to 234) from my last PCP weigh in!! WOO and HOO! I'm still experiencing an iron deficiency (not anemic but close) and protein decrease since my 3 month surgeon's appointment. They now have me on a different iron supplement and want me to get in additional protein - up to 80 g a day - from shakes (have only been getting 15 a day from shakes). Not digging the additional 200 calories a day! Nutritionist told me I need to get in more carbs.
Am frustrated by the seeming conflicting instructions I'm getting: get iron rich foods with every meal (include vitamin C rich foods to help absorb the iron, get in more carbs, don't go over 1500 calories a day though, but increase your protein intake via supplements by 80 grams (had been getting 86 on average, with only 15 of it from supplements). Oh and I need to keep fat intake to less than 30%! Just like everything I guess - balance isn't easy.
Am still having a hard time exercising like I know I should - feeling very tired and lack energy all the time. Contemplating signing up for a health club and getting a personal trainer. Will see - going to checkout Lifetime Fitness with a friend on Friday. Not sure about paying the big $$$ for a health club when we have one at work that's pretty cheap, but very basic. Paid a professional trainer there, but he isn't very motivating. I have to prod him to help me work out and then all he really wants to do is talk to me while I do weight machines.
3/23/06
I'm now almost exactly 5 months out. Here I am at 246 (-90 from the last weigh in at my PCP and with a BMI under 35)! I'm very excited! Right now I'm in the midst of another week long stall. My weight seems to come off, stablize and then come off again. Surgeon's instructions are to get in 1200-1500 calories a day, keep protein at least at 60g (am getting in better than that) and keep fats at around 30%. Also need to get in at least 64 oz of water. Am meeting all those goals. My biggest challenge right now is exercising. I have an iron deficency and my energy level is pretty low so I'm really struggling. Hoping that with the weather change I'll be out walking the dogs every day.
1/17/06
Like many folks nearly 3 months out, I experienced a stall of almost a week. I've started losing again. Now I'm down another 10 pounds - to 272 (-71 from my all time high and -65 from my last pre-surgery weigh in at the PCP)!! Had to go shopping because nothing fits (it's all falling off). May need to go again soon. Will say that even if it looks like you aren't losing weight acording to the scale, you may be losing inches. At least I think that's what happened with me. Hang in there.
12/30/05
I'm only OBESE!! My BMI is now below 40!! YIPPEE! Now at -61 from my highest weight and - 55 from my last PCP pre-surgery weigh in!! Still struggling with getting enough exercise and very low energy levels. Happy New Year everyone!
12/20/05
Now nearly 2 months post op. Things are going pretty well though I am having a very hard time with exercise; I’m doing some but not enough (1 or 2 times a week plus added activity like parking far away). Having trouble making it a priority and fitting it into my day. If I wait until lunch there are just too many excuses not to do it, but getting in early enough to do it before work doesn’t seem to be a workable routine / option either. Sigh. Just don’t have any energy.
So far, I’m down 54 pounds from my all time high and 49
pounds from my last pre-surgery weigh in. At 289 my BMI is 40.3! Finally broke down and bought a scale so that I can take consistent weights. Had no idea how I was actually doing weight wise since I was weighing in on a different scale each time. Also read that people who weigh themselves every day are more likely to maintain their weight loss.
11/10/05
Well, here I am a little more than two weeks post op! Everything went well with the surgery. No big complications (thank God!) - just an allergic reaction to the pain killer (hives - yuck!). Did what I was told to do - walking, medication, etc. and then some. Walked every day and especially right at first multiple times every day. Went around the block and it really helped. Didn't always want to walk, but was always glad I'd done it afterward. Every day was better than the one before it. [And I lost about 15 pounds in 1 week.]
Friends and family were wonderful. Stayed with my Dad for the first 4 days after the surgery, then went home for a few days and had a friend staying with me. Since I'm a single person it really helped to have someone around. That first week you really can't bend over or pick things up from off of the floor very easily. And the company was really nice to have.
The worst part was being separated from my dogs for 10 days! My surgeon had a patient he had to re-do after her very large (120 pound!) untrained dog jumped up on her belly. So, ever since then he makes anyone with a large dog promise not to be around it for at least a week. Did 10 days and that was the most I could stand. Have them home with me and keep my abdomen covered with a pillow around them. They aren't sleeping with me yet though. Haven't had any problems at all, but my girls are very well trained (both run steady stakes in field and are formally obedience trained).
Feeling bad for my friend Jan A - met her from off of this site. She fell coming out of a doctor's appointment about two weeks after surgery (this past Monday) and broke her shoulder!! Just feel so badly for her! Just when you get to the point of being able to sleep more comfortably, feel more mobile and start to get to feel human again to have another serious injury. Pray for her and/or think good thoughts her way.
Well that's it for now.
7/22/05
I GOT MY INSURANCE APPROVAL!!! I GOT MY INSURANCE APPROVAL!!!
It took a lot of persistence and the help of my HR person (she gave me the name of someone inside the insurance company who had to talk to me). The main thing that got it done though was that I followed their instructions and documented everything. In addition to the doctor’s records I submitted my WW records and a letter from the gym I attended, with notes about how often I attended and what I did to work out.
I thought I would never get approved!! Yippee! Now I can actually concentrate on being fully prepared for the surgery!
Thanks to everyone who’s posted and emailed me in support. I am very grateful!
7/19/05
Just found out that my surgery - scheduled for this coming Monday the 25th - has been postponed 60 - 90 days. On my surgeon's advice, yesterday I went to see a specialist in coagulation (blod clots). Due to recent family history (mother who died of an unexplained stroke and sister who had a pulmonary embolism following surgery) and some other risk factors normal for people of size like me (age greater than 40, BMI greater than 45, a very small amount of swelling in the legs), he felt that the risk of clots were just too high and has postponed surgery.
In addition to that depressing news he ordered $2000+ in blood tests (which I'm not entirely sure my insurance will pay for). And, I have to wear compression hose for 60 - 90 days pre-op and may have to have medications as well!
Just feeling a bit sorry for myself. I'll snap out of it. I hope.
So depressed though because I was ready for the operation.
Am keeping up with the whole grind of doctor supervised weight loss attempts. Visited my doctor this afternoon and weighed in at 326. She continues to be very supportive.
7/15/05
I've been doing a pretty good job of keeping things together. Doing what I need to do to meet insurance requirements, getting my pre-testing done and generally not freaking out. Well, now I'm maybe 10 days away from my scheduled surgery date and I still don't have an approval. I'm close to freaking out.
My surgeon's office sent the paperwork to BC/BS in April (they have proof of receipt of fax), but BC/BS didn't have any record of receipt. As soon as we found out, we faxed it again. BC/BS dragged their feet and then sent out a letter requesting more information at the last hour. We sent the proof they requested, but now they tell me this thing is sitting 'in que'. Have been calling them every day to try to help move things along, but am still very worried that I won't get an approval before my scheduled date.
Am one of those people who doesn't count their chickens before they hatch so I'm feeling very much in limbo right now. And, I haven't done any of the prep for post surgery yet because I'm so afraid I won't get the approval. Afraid to hope too much.
6/8/05
Just a brief check in. Getting close to the end of the 1 year supervised weight loss effort. Have my doctor's appointment on the 13th. Lost another bit of weight. As of yesterday I'm at 320!! That's 23 pounds from the highest weight I hit over the course of the year (343 - my highest weight ever).
4/16/05
Been a while! A very long while since I updated. What's changed? Well, I've been steadily working my way through the year-long doctor supervised diet and exercise program – required by BC/BS. Been seeing my PCP monthly, attending weight watchers weekly, working the program and working out (for the last year, but beginning in March with the help of a personal trainer I hired). Not having much luck actually losing weight with weight watchers, but I keep working at it. Working out and exercising is going better. I have managed to lose about 10- 15 pounds but have been fluctuating.
It's been a very rough last few months emotionally though. My mother was diagnosed with a brain stem tumor at the end of January (2005), less than a week later she had surgery and four days after that she was dead. It was very sudden. She’d been having some symptoms – what she interpreted as carpal tunnel syndrome and then later as a tremor. We have friends who have tremors that are just nerve issues and not related to other things. Mom didn’t want to worry any of us so she hid it from us until it couldn’t be hidden any longer. I miss her so much. She was such a solid loving presence in my life – always interested in even the littlest things I was up to or thinking, always there to put her arms around me and tell me it would all be okay. There are days I just can’t help crying my eyes out for missing her. I’ve been told that it will get easier, but right now that’s small comfort.
On March 25th I had my consultation with Dr. Frantzides. He scheduled my surgery for July 25th! Am now in the process of getting the pre-surgery testing done and will submit to insurance as soon after that as I can. My year of doctor’s supervised diet and exercise will not be up until June though.
Now that I have a date and it’s truly becoming a real thing I’m not sure how I feel. I think I’m a bit conflicted – you know am I doing the right thing? Shouldn’t I be able to lose this weight and keep it off without surgery? Why am I having to surgically alter my anatomy to keep from overeating? People die from this surgery and with what just happened to my Mom, how can I put my family through this? I am really struggling with that last one.
8/31/04
Stay calm... Just stay calm... Went to Weight Watchers this afternoon and I've gained another 2 pounds. Now topping the scales at 343 pounds!! Oh my God. Oh my God! OH MY GOD!!! Am a hairsbreadth away from super morbidly obese. And, scared as heck.
Per my doctor I need to be on a doctor supervised weight loss program for a year before I'll qualify for surgery under my insurance. As she directed, I've been going to WW but it isn't working (am I surprised?). But now I'm starting to worry about whether or not her sending me to WW and me turning in my WW logs to her for my file (and periodically checking in) are enough to meet the requirement of a 12 month doctor's supervised weight loss program.
Need to take deep breaths and not panic.
8/17/04
Met last night with my PCP. She was great - night and day compared to that first visit that had me in tears. Reflected on that a bit and I believe that is because I was much more determined and more confident. She pulled the coverage requirements for the HMO and said it really isn't all that different from the PPO. Also said that I'll need a year of supervised dieting and that WW under her supervision would count. Need to make sure of all of this so will be checking it with surgeon's office.
Also called HR and my contact there is checking for coverage in 2005. We'll see.
8/14/04
A good couple of months later and I find myself still in the same boat (roughly). Still debating whether WLS is the right thing for me and still unsure what WLS would be best (RNY or Lap Band). Did, however, finally take some more concrete steps toward WLS though.
Got my titration study and a CPAP. It took about a week to adjust to it (have a relatively low setting of 7) and am I glad I did. Am sleeping much better and not falling asleep or getting drowsy during the day.
Have begun investigating what exactly is required for insurance coverage of a procedure. Currently both insurance policies (HMO and PPO) at work do not exclude RNY. I am currently on BC/BS HMO Illinois, but may have the opportunity to switch to the BC/BS PPO this fall.
HMO Illinois will not tell you what the exact requirements are for surgical treatment and the office part of my PCP's practice group will not tell me what's required. How typical - my insurance says all the decisions are up to my doctor and refers me to my physicians group when I ask about requirements; my physicians group passes me around to 4 different people and tells me that I have to go to my insurance. When I pressed them and explained how frustrated I was, they confided in me that no one at the insurance company was going to tell me the requirements because then I'd be able to get it without a fight and they don't want to pay for it. And, now that the Supreme Court has ruled that you can't sue an HMO for denial of coverage, they are getting bold. Called around to a number of different large scale providers of WLS (the usual places - WISH, Barix) and basically found out that HMO Illinois is going to stop covering WLS as of the first of the year.
On top of all that, BC/BS PPO has changed it's coverage requirements at least twice since I started checking it all out. Am very much afraid that when/if I decide that surgery is right for me my insurance will have ceased to cover it. Or, maybe worse, that I'll jump through all of the hoops and be ready to go only to find out that they changed all the hoops again. Sort of the same exercise in futility that can make some prison work completely demoralizing and well, prison like!
Two days ago I went to a support group meeting for Dr. Frantcides and drove over an hour to get there. The group was open to everyone, not just patients of Dr. F and I really learned a lot by going. Also met some great people who just volunteered to help me out (thanks Jerri, Jeff F & wife, and Karen T!!!). Got great advice and finally some answers. Also got some much needed courage. THANKS to all who were there.
[Also, strangely enough I saw people at the support group that I 'know' from this site. Was a tad on the surreal to see them in person - felt oddly like a celebrity sighting!]
The next day (so yesterday), I made some more calls to try and figure out the requirements. Ended up very frustrated and yet empowered at the same time. So I ended up on the phone with the appointment booker for my PCP. I explained all of my frustration and my fears that I'll end up without coverage and that I just want to know what is required if surgery is the option I choose. Must have sounded really frustrated because she booked me an appointment for Monday night!
Next steps: 1) talk to PCP and push her regarding insurance requirements (HMO v. PCP) and what surgeon I would have to be referred to. 2) talk to a trusted person in HR at work regarding coverage changes coming up and when current insurance expires.
Have no idea whether anyone is reading any of this, but it doesn't matter! Am really doing this to help me figure things out. TTFN
6/1/04
A lot's happened since the last time I wrote - I had my annual physical and a chance to talk with my PCP:
BMI - the nurse measured my height while I was there and I topped out at 5'10" inches! Which is at least 1/2 an inch shorter than the last time I was measured. But I thought I heard the nurse say that I was measured at 71 inches, which should be 5'11" - I need to check. Is it possible that all this weight is reducing my height? At any rate if the nurse was right - there goes the BMI up another notch and my ideal weight down!!! YIKES!
Apnea - My PCP reviewed the sleep test results and feels that my apnea is severe enough (305 apnea incidents in one night) to require a CPAP. I'm going back to the lab in a few days to get titration testing done. Then I'll have to wait for the prescription/referral and go to a medical equipment supply house and get fitted for a machine. Not pleased that my apnea is that severe, but will definitely be pleased to sleep better! I have so little energy right now and wake up yawning some mornings.
Blood Pressure - my blood pressure reading has been elevated now on two doctor's visits. It's looking like I may need to be on BP medication. Am particularly bummed about that; do NOT want to be on medication. Will work hard on diet & exercise and cut back on salt (been eating too much of that anyway). On the good side all of my blood work (including cholesterol) came back normal.
GERD - have been having (for quite a while) GERD symptoms. Only one night time bout (and I can't begin to say how awful that was), but some fairly regular coughing type incidents. Got a GERD instruction sheet from the PCP and will pay attention to that as well.
Diet & Exercise - have been logging my exercise (which has been inconsistent lately) and attempting weight watchers. I'm having an incredibly difficult time getting on board with tracking / journaling, but am getting in to be weighed weekly. We are going to get WW at work program so I'm pretty excited about that. PCP was encouraging about the exercise and WW, even though it isn't perfect. So, think I may just have caught her on a bad night before. Am fairly certain that my insurance will require a 1 year doctor supervised diet and exercise program for WLS (that is the requirement for PPO coverage from BC/BS - have yet to be able to confirm the requirements for HMO) and am VERY certain that all of my efforts in that direction can only be very good for me in the long run.
Psych - PCP also good about discussing the psych - though understandably reluctant to criticize, she's still very supportive of seeking a second opinion or venturing out of my insurance (self pay) for the right therapist. I think she may very well be right about that and have asked around (a friend I trust) for a recommendation. We'll see.
All in all, am trying to stay the course, get my health as under control as possible and keep my options open. Still unsure what's right for me...
5/15/04
Went to my psychologist appointment a few days ago. Have been thinking about it since. After spending maybe 1/2 an hour with me and my previously filled out questionnaire she proclaimed: "You don't have a food problem. You have a depression problem!" Then she proceeded to tell me that I need medication and referred me to a psychiatrist.
I'm incredibly medication conservative. I don't use alcohol other than the occasional drink with dinner. I don't take (and never have taken) any illegal drugs. I don't even have any prescribed drugs and only use over the counter drugs (Migraine Strength Excedrin) as needed - occasionally. I was raised to tough it out. So, I'm having a really hard time with this and it boils down to the fact that I don't want to take drugs. And I think I also have a problem trusting that she could make a diagnosis so quickly. (Maybe part of this lack of trust is the "Stuart Smalley"-like affirmation exercise she's given me to do.)
Well, am still thinking through all of this and struggling to figure out what it means to me and what I should do.
Can't believe how candid I'm being here; I haven't even discussed any of this with friends or family. Not ashamed, just not sure what it all means. Maybe there's a small part of me that feels like this is admitting some sort of defeat - like the problem is bigger than I'm able to deal with just me. Also, I'm fearful that I'll be on drugs long term (though the psych said it would be only for short term). Do not want to take drugs in the first place though - would prefer to learn better coping skills.
5/7/04
Just got back from my sleep study. It's early morning and storming here. Am liking the peace and quiet punctuated by the occasional lightening flash. Will need to discuss the results of the study with my doctor. From what the nurse who did the study said, I don't have severe apnea - just some mild to moderate apnea. Also, my blood tests came back for the most part within normal range (though at the very highest end of normal) with a few exceptions. Have to discuss those with my PCP too. We will have a lot to discuss on June 1 when I go in for my physical!
I also found information on a study that Northwestern is doing on the gastric pacemaker and submitted information to be a 'lab rat' for the study. I should hear back by the end of the month on whether I qualify so far and get to answer the next round of questions.
I find the gastric pacemaker and the lap band of interest - mainly because I have concerns about the bypass part of the RNY surgery. And those concerns are really about the malabsorbtion part of the surgery (as opposed to the restrictive part). There is not much data at all out there about the long term health affects of the surgery - in particular with respect to nutrition. The biggest fear I would have is trading one problem (MO) for another or several others (metabolic bone disease, osteoporosis, pernicious anemia, and other deficiencies like potassium or folic acid etc.). There is a lot that we still don't know about how the body absorbs nutrients and which nutrients are important and why.
Then again, there is also the fear that all of us have of regaining after going through all of this (whether it's RNY, lap band, or the more traditional - diet and exercise) to lose. Which brings me to the other piece of the puzzle - the fact that all the research says that within 5 years 95% of those who lose a significant amount of weight will have gained it all back (and then some). I DO NOT want to go through hell only to be back there in 5 years. So, that is why I am looking at WLS, which has a much greater rate of success than diet & exercise alone. Tried to address this with my PCP, but if you read the last post you know I didn't get much more out of her than a scolding/preaching and a whole lotta tears.
And, since it seems that co-morbities for me aren't as big a concern as for some, there's the issue of having a drastic surgery to lose weight. I know, a lot of you will say "give it time, the co-morbities will come". And, you're right - I need to think about the future, but all of it is such a jumble right now. I need to sort it all out for myself...
4/28/04
Hearing about all of the problems with BC/BS insurance approvals here in Illinois, I decided to get started with assessing my health and get on a supervised weight loss program before my upcoming physical. Still not sure that WLS is right for me, but have always been one to preserve all of my options. So, I went back to the PCP last week just for a weigh in and referral to a diet program on theory that it couldn't hurt and might help (regardless of what I decide to do).
The doctor was not at all receptive or supportive. She didn't acknowledge the exercise I've been doing (3-6 days a week of walking sometimes coupled with weight lifting) and instead pointed out that the reason I'm exercising at the (impliedly paltry) level I'm at is that I am carrying too much extra weight (like 165 pounds)! DUH! And she actually asked me to imagine that I was thin and asked to carry a backpack with 165 pounds of stuff in it. I couldn't believe that one. I'm all too intimately familiar with the daily indignities and exhaustion inflicted upon me by my extra weight without anyone telling me it's hard. Found her to be rather insensitive and not supportive - the reverse of what I expected. She also clearly doesn't get MO. She believes my problem is keeping weight off, not losing it.
She told me to see a psych, ordered some blood tests and a sleep study (I'm pretty sure I have apnea) and told me to go back to weight watchers. Either have done all of those things or will shortly but I'm very confused.
Oh yes, one more thing to add to the list and embarrassment - I found out that I've gained a few pounds (339). So, instead of a BMI of just barely over 46, it's now above 47!
Was so upset that I went out to my car after the appointment and cried.
04/05/04
Two years ago my PCP asked me whether I would consider WLS. Seems she's had several patients who've had successful WLS and maintenance of weight loss. Wasn't ready to think about WLS at the time - seemed too radical and I still thought I could do it on my own (again). Now I'm ready to talk about it.
Will be going back to that same PCP June 1 and want to have as much information as possible. Have ordered all sorts of materials on WLS and other weight loss related topics from Amazon.com. Also called my sister who's a nutritionist and asked her to help me research. She's concerned about malabsorbtion issues related to some of the surgeries.
I'm looking for information on WLS and am particularly concerned about the lack of information on long term health effects, including vitamin/mineral deficiencies. Also, like many people am very concerned that if I decide that WLS is for me I don't regain any weight. Do not want to go through major surgery and have nothing to show for it.
Here's my preliminary list of questions:
1. Why WLS?
2. Which surgery is best?
3. What are long-term success rates? Haven't seen anything on the web from anyone more than 2 years out.
4. What sorts of changes need to be made - lifestyle, food choices, etc? What happens if those changes aren't made or you revert to old ways?
5. How is WLS better than making the lifestyle changes without WLS?
6. Any regrets?
7. What resources do you recommend?