Indalita

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Today is the day for my first follow-up visit. So far I am feeling fine, but I am looking forward to asking about the small spots of pain that I still do feel. I hope they are normal. 
I had a scare on Saturday morning. I felt pretty good when I woke up, took my pills, and party was going to take my shower first thing instead of after drinking my instant breakfast and reading the paper. I had a bad bout of diarrhea, then just started feeling worse. I felt bad all over and went to lie down in the recliner in the bedroom. My husband brought me water and I took my blood pressure. It was 96/64, which is very low for me. I reclined in the chair, drinking water for about an hour, until I felt a little better. I still wasn’t sure enough of myself to take a shower, so I just got dressed and moved to the chair in the family room. My daughter made me my instant breakfast and I made a call to the clinic. 
I spoke to the relay operator who put me through to a Dr. who wasn’t Dr. Schram. He was a little grumpy at first, because I started right in on my symptoms and he had no idea who I was. I assumed the relay operator had given him that information. He told me to stop taking my blood pressure meds and my Tricor. He also said I was probably dehydrated and should really push the water. So I did. And I feel better. 
I haven’t had my blood pressure meds since Saturday, so it will be interesting to see what the Dr.’s say today. My guess is that, unless I have had a miraculous change in my triglycerides, they will leave me on the Tricor. Anyway, it should be interesting. 

So far the pain is much less than I expected. If I felt like it wasn’t dangerous for me to put food in my mouth right now (even to spit it out) and I could drive, I think I would be able to go back to work. However, I am staying home the whole six weeks and not chancing any food in my mouth until it is OK to swallow accidentally. 
The full liquid diet is pretty boring, but I’m not that hungry anyway. I really need to go downstairs now and eat something. I have to force myself to eat enough to get my protein in. 
OK, now I have a cup of high protein miso soup. I make it by adding soy protein to miso. Pretty simple. 
The first day I was home I didn’t do much but rest up from the hospital stress. The hospital is no place to be if you’re sick!!! 
Then on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I worked on doing more each day. 
I decided to come up here and do computer work each day. I joined two message boards and hope to meet some friendly and supportive people. 

I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 11:00 AM on Monday June 11, 2007. We got to Ypsilanti a little early and went to find Doug’s hotel first. We checked in at the hospital about 10:45 and then waited almost an hour in the waiting room before they called me back. Doug couldn’t come with me while they  prepped me for surgery, so he had another 45 minutes or so to wait. 
The took me back for blood work and then upstairs to the surgery area. I put on a hospital gown and they labeled all my belongings. After taking MORE medical history they went ahead and called my husband in for a few minutes. Then he was able to go to the hospital cafeteria for some lunch while they finished my prep. 
After I signed my last papers, they started and IV and gave me some antibiotics. About 3:00 they took me to surgery. I don’t even remember them wheeling me out of the pre-surgery room and really have almost no memory of post surgery. 
I remember waking up and feeling something tight around my belly. This was the belly band. They brought me to a room on second floor that I would get to have to myself - yeah!!! 
I was still pretty out of it, but I remember them getting me up and walking that night while I still had the Foley Catheter in. I was hooked up to an IV, had my catherter bag and my drain tube all hanging out. I can’t remember how far we walked, but it probably wasn’t much. I think maybe they weighed me. 
The next day they took my order for meals. I was on clear liquids which were very limited. I could choose between chicken, beef or vegetable broth, a color of popcicle, a flavor of Jello, and some kind of juice or Crystal Light. The was the same meal I got three times a day for every day I was in the hospital. I was very glad to get home, and it made me more determined than ever to create some GBP recipes that are not sweet! 
The day after surgery, after I was dependable on my feet I got to lose the catheter, but the other tubes stayed until Thursday morning when they told me I could go home. They also took me to x-ray, gave me something to drink, and took pictures of it going down, to see if everything was routed right and not leaking. 
I was having some problem in the hospital with retaining fluids, so they gave me Lasix. I was also not having a bowel movement so they gave me dulcolax supositories and then an molasses and milk enema. Yuck - but not as bad as I had been afraid it would be. 
On Wednesday morning Dr. Schram asked if I wanted to go home. I did, but we had everything scheduled for me to go home on Thursday. Then he discovered I hadn’t had a bowel movement and that changed everything. I went home on Thursday as scheduled, but it was about 12:30 before we got away from the hospital. 
My husband stayed with me on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but went back to Battle Creek on Wednesday evening. He came back on Thursday morning with the van so I wouldn’t have to ride home in the truck. I was very glad. They gave me pain medication for the trip, but it still wouldn’t have been very comfortable. 

Two more sleeps until the day. 
I think we have gotten everything ready for Monday. I have plenty of the stuff to make all the full liquids that I will be eating for the next few weeks. I have clear liquids for tomorrow, and all my protein supplements and vitamins. Tomorrow I will get up and eat something for breakfast, then go to Bible Class. I won’t go to church, instead I will come home and take my laxative. I can eat some lunch but at 12 noon I will be on clear liquids until midnight. At that time, nothing else until after surgery. 
I think that to take my mind off of food we will go to Kalamazoo in the afternoon and look at walking shoes, fine mesh strainers and maybe make a stop as Sams. 
Monday morning I have to shower and scrub my belly for 5 minutes with a special sponge. We need to leave for Ypsilanti at 9:00 to get there by 11:00. 
I’m excited and terrified. I can’t believe it is here and still somewhere inside of me I feel like something will happen to postpone the surgery. I have had some nasal drainage and have a little hoarseness. Not following the pre-surgery instructions will cancel the surgery. Getting ill will postpone it. This has just been the longest week!!!! 

I’m a little breathless. I just got the call from my surgeon and he had a opening on June 11 for the surgery and I took the spot. I had been telling myself that I had six weeks from scheduling to prepare myself, but maybe this is better. Less time to be terrified. 
I go in for pre-surgery testing next Monday 6/4. They said I go in fasting and it will take between 2 and 4 hours. I can’t take any anti-inflammatory drugs in the next two weeks, so no ibuprofen or Aleve. Tylenol is OK, and my prescription drugs are OK. I need to take the regimen aspirin out of my morning pill case. 
Then I will get a call at the end of the week with the information about the 11th. 
Considering how long I have been working on this – six months – since I went to my first information session and started talking to clinics, I’m surprised at how panicked I am right now. I know that tomorrow I will feel better. I just need some time to adjust my mind to this new time frame. I had been hoping that I could be recovered and back to work by September, but now I will probably be good by August. 

It has been a long and frustrating time since I last wrote. In the past two months I have had the psych evaluation and the cardiac stress test. I passed both. 
I have kept up a steady dialogue with the Ypsilanti insurance approval group. After several requests Dr. Cherala finally wrote the letter stating that I had completed 12 months of supervised dieting. Then they forgot to state in the letter “12 consecutive months in the past four years” and had to re-write it. The second letter had “12 consecutive months” , but nothing about 4 years, so they had to do a third. Each time it required several calls back and forth getting information from Ypsilanti and relaying it to my Dr. Checking too see if it was done, checking to see if Ypsilanti had received it... 
I had to ask them to re-send the psych evaluation and referral forms to the insurance office. Tammy, the person in Dr. Cherala’s office who does this now knows my name and all my information. 
Finally on Friday, May 11th I heard from the insurance office that I had completed the insurance approval and they would send it down to Dr. Schram’s office for the next step. I waited a week and then called to see if there were any problems. They said that they would request my files from the insurance dept, then the nurse in Dr. Schram’s office looked over the files to be sure everything was there and gave them to Dr. Schram for approval. When that was completed I would get a call from the scheduling nurse. 
That was a week ago and I haven’t heard anything this week. 
However, I am trying to get my attitude back toward the positive. I am trying to get back on my goals. I haven’t been exercising or drinking my water or protein drinks. I know that I have a way to go to get my body ready for surgery. I would like to get the surgery done ASAP, but I have to get my body into shape. 

It’s been weeks since I last wrote. I was thinking that the surgery would be happening about now, but it is happening much more slowly than I thought. I have had lots of disappointments in the past few weeks, but at my last appointment, Dr Cherala said that I had the documentation of 12 months effort to diet and I could now move to the psych evaluation and stress test. Tonight is the psych eval., and I haven’t heard from the stress test people. Hopefully I will hear on that soon. 
I don’t know how long it will take Dr. Cherala to write the letter or for the psychologist to get the results to the clinic, but hopefully soon I will have a surgery date. I would like for this to happen in May so it is done before Summer. 
The past few weeks have been up and down, from thinking it was never going to happen to the hope that it actually will. I think the eating is back under control, but I haven’t been keeping up with all my goals as I would like. I need to rededicate myself to preparing for the surgery. 
I will drink more water. 
I will drink a protein drink each day. 
We are doing pretty well with eating at the table and keeping low carb and low fat. 
I need to eat SLOWER!!! 
I need to exercise consistently and journal daily!!  

I have read so much about the surgery. I went to the seminar at Bronson, have read all of the information the Dr. gave me and the Clinics have sent. I ordered and read these three books:  

“Weight Loss Surgery For Dummies” 
Marina S. Kurian

 “Weight Loss Surgery: Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside You, Third Edition” 
Barbara Thompson

 “Is Weight Loss Surgery Right for You? (Treatments That Work)” 
Robin F. Apple

 Dr. Cherala said I shouldn’t read all this because it would just cause me to have questions. She said I should just put myself in the hands of my surgeon and trust him to do the best thing for me. But, I told her that I’m not that person. 
For one thing, my surgeon doesn’t know me. He won’t know about things in my life that would make a difference in a surgical choice. For instance, as a Trained Taste Panelist, I sometimes have to taste sweet foods. Will I feel the Dumping Syndrome when we have sweet items to taste? If I have the RNY will I have to quit my job?  

My first experience with dieting was at the age of 10. Up until that time my parents were aware that I was overweight but were under the impression that it didn’t bother me. One day I came home and told my mother about one of my friend’s boyfriends. She asked if I had a boyfriend. I told her that boys didn’t like fat girls. I learned that lesson young. 
She immediately made me an appointment with a doctor who specialized in weight loss. He evaluated me and prescribed daily diet pills and diuretics. I don’t know what these were, but I think the diet pills were small white tablets and the diuretics were red capsules. I’m not sure what diet pills were available in the mid 1960’s, but it is hard to imagine that even then a physician would consider it appropriate to put a 10 year old on amphetamines. 
He also wanted me taken off of milk. At school, milk was the only option for a drink. This was before the advent of insulated lunch boxes and the only diet drink on the market was Tab. I was on a very strict diet, eating for lunch things most kids would never even consider putting in their mouths. 
My Mom took all this very seriously, but not ever having been overweight as a child, she didn’t understand the psychological impact. She went out and bought me a lunch basket that was easily twice the size of anything my classmates carried. She then painted and decorated it so it would look nice. Then she bought little plastic containers for my food. I had permission to go to the teacher’s lounge each day and get a Tab from the soda machine to drink. All of this just highlighted my differences from the other kids and all I really wanted was to be like everyone else. 
After I reached my goal weight, life went back more to normal. I regained some weight, but never back to the obesity of preschool and first and second grades. Though I was never thin or even slender, and was always bigger than my friends, I was not obese again until my 20’s and not morbidly obese until after my second child was born. 
Though some of this story is sad, or even horrifying, I truly believe that everyone involved had my best at heart. My parents certainly did. They acted immediately to do the best thing they knew to do. They followed the doctors instructions precisely, and went out of their way to be sure I lost weight. 
My Mom watched everything I ate. Secret eating was an early learned habit. I still to this day resent it if someone tells me I shouldn’t eat a thing. It is one thing to decide not to eat it, and quite another for someone else to say, "you shouldn’t eat that". 
Occasionally I will smell something that will bring back some of the worse memories. It is the smell that that lunch box had. I think it is a combination of stained wicker and raw vegetables. Suddenly I am 10 and sitting in the lunch room, eating rabbit food out of little plastic boxes, drinking a Tab out of a glass bottle, and trying to hide behind this huge wicker basket.