Jacqui2763

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 Ok...I can't tell time according to the calendar...lol. How is everyone?? I am currently 5 weeks postop from my panniculectomy.  Dr. Cole did an excellent job getting rid of the excess skin!! I love my doctor I swear I do! He is totally the best! 

You have to check out my new pictures. My daughter just took them this past Saturday 7/25/2009. I didn't know how I actually looked. I love how I look now!!! I can actually see what everybody else sees now. I have been told so many time "Jacqui, you've lost so much weight! How much more are you going to lose?" I would go home after hearing that...take a shower...look at myself in the mirror and think...'I've lost SO much weight?? Where?" because I was looking at what was left over and looking at that allowed continued to allow me to look at myself as still being overweight. It was psychological, yes, but it was what my mind saw. And I know there are a lot of people out there that feel the same way I did. I KNEW I lost weight because the dress sizes went way down. But...looking at myself...I still saw the fat girl looking back at me.

It has been a while since I've been able to look at myself and think..."that's a pretty good looking woman looking back at me". I still don't consider myself beautiful, radiant, glowing, none of that. I will say good looking because that's the stage I'm at with myself. My fiance (yes I have a new man in my life and he went through the surgery with me) tells me every day that I'm gorgeous. I keep looking at him and asking him if he needs my glasses to look at me correctly...lol. He has been totally supportive of me going through this. He told me before the surgery that he accepted me the way I was but I told him it was for medical reasons as well as psychological reasons I had to have this done. He is now happy that I did it and tells me how proud he is of me for going through with it. He has been a lifeline to me and I appreciate him more than I could ever tell him. Dr. Cole has also been a lifeline to me. He has literally saved my life and for that I will be eternally grateful.

I'm not going to promise when I'll write again...things are getting busy again but I will promise to stay in touch! Much love to everyone.

Ok people...I know , I know...it's been absolutely forever since you guys have heard from me! Well, I'm back and ready to let you guys in on something...I'm getting my tummy tuck done by Dr. Cole!! This Friday!!! I am excited...apprehensive...scared to go under the knife again...but I know Dr. Cole is going to take great care of me! Right now I'm just taking one day (one hour, one minute, one second) at a time. I have my kids who are very supportive, as well as my  mother and my boyfriend. It's going to be an overnight adventure...I hope. Then back to my mom's for a few days, get one drain out...get my son back to school and back next Friday to get the other two removed. Then...the healing process totally begins! My boyfriend is going to be home with me to help me out. I'll be getting back out walking all over the city and toning up. I'll post more pics once the swelling goes down and my clothes fit even better...lololol. I'll be back next week to let everyone know how things went. Pray for me!

Well...July 4th...Happy 4th to all!!!
This has been an amazing 9+ months. I have 11 lbs to go to get to my doctor's goal weight for me. I now have 142 lbs gone. A whole nother person!! Can you believe it?!?!? 11 pounds...that's it!!! I have gone from wearing a size 4x to a size 14-16 right now. I haven't been this small since I got married...and that was over 20 yrs ago!!! Am I surprised? Yes. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be this far in this short of time. Am I still healthy? Yes. I am faithfully taking my vitamins and eating only twice a day. Snacking in between. Healthy snacks now...not junk. My snacks consist of nuts, cheese and a few crackers.  My meals consist of a small piece of meat and some veggies. I swear I'm the cheapest date around. I get a regular hamburger ($1) and a glass of water. I take the bread off the hamburger and just eat the meat, pickles and I have to have onions on it. That's it!! And I'm full after just that! I can also eat Pepper Steak and rice...which I was sooooo glad of. I can only eat a little chicken...beef seems to do good for my pouch. But not all beef...thin sliced or ground...that's it. Thinking about trying some ground chicken and turkey soon. 
Now if I could just get rid of this excess skin!!!! I know my insurance will cover it if I have medical reasons. Which I do....all documented. Just waiting for my doctor now to go ahead and reccomend it. I'm tired of going through the problems I have with this junk. Burning my arms...boils on my arms and in unmentionable places. I am totally tired of it!! I hope I can get this surgery done soon!!!! I know I'll have to have a total lower body lift and arm sculpture. That's all I'm really looking to have done. I can then look in the mirror and see the new person I've actually become. Right now I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see....with all the excess skin hanging I'm not able to see the difference in me. I keep seeing the "Fat Gurl" I was 9 months ago. I need to see the new me that has emerged from this transformation so I can get used to her. It's a mental thing I know but I just can't get myself to see a thinner me...the only way I know that all this weight loss has occurred is from my clothing size. Does anyone else feel this way?

I went to the doctors today for my checkup. To go over my blood work from March...which was pretty good if I do say so myself. My HbA1C was 5.5, cholesterol was197, HDL 40, LDL 101, Triglycerides 57. I have to stay on Lipitor because of the heart attack I suffered 8 years ago but the dosage is down from 80 mg to 20 mg daily. I also need to increase my vitamin D intake. I am starting to have difficulties with the loose skin on my arms (getting pinched a lot!) and the stomach flap (causing a lot of problems (odor, rawness, soreness)) so that's now being documented so the insurance will cover the surgery to remove that bulk.
NOW...the reason I'm sooooooo happy is this. I have 25 lbs to lose and I'll be at my goal weight of 177 lbs!!!! Granted the weight is coming off slower but I think I can do this in the next couple of months. Of course....if this excess skin could be removed now that would probably take care of those last 25 lbs...lol. I do hope these last few pounds won't give me too hard of a time to leave. Well...that's all for now. I hope my words help encourage those out there that are on this journey with me. Just stick with it folks...it can and WILL happen for you as well! God bless everyone. Back in a while to let you know of the updates!!

Well...some things to add to this now. First off...I have now lost 110 lbs as of today 2/20. This rollercoaster ride is amazing. It's the best thing I've ever done for myself! I feel great, looking better and my attitude is improving immensely. I still have to remind myself to eat but I do get in at least 2 meals a day. 
I have moved from my tensions. My son and I now live by ourselves and we're loving it. My mom misses me (as I do her) but this move had to take place because she wasn't supporting me in my surgery and weight loss. I basically was doing this by myself. I mean I had the support of my surgeon and his staff, and my church family. But my mom??? She should have been my biggest supporter and she totally disappointed me when she wouldn't. I am now closer to my church family and have all the support that I was missing.
I have to tell you guys something funny that happened this past Sunday...I was at my pastor's house after church. We had had dinner and had gone downstairs to talk privately. When we came back upstairs...my pants fell down to my ankles!! They had stayed up all through service and getting to her house. At the end of the day they ended up around my ankles! Let me tell you I was totally shocked! She, of course, fell out laughing and so did my son! 
I hope this put a smile on your face...and even added a chuckle or two. Just know...there are people who care about you and your journey. They will support you because they love you and want the best for you. I am one of them. I love everyone on this journey and I hope that I'm an inspiration to some of you. Let's continue this ride and see where it takes us...to better health, life, relationships...the whole nine yards!
I wil try to get better at blogging my trip...see you next time!

Well...I haven't written a thing because I didn't know what to write. I guess I'll start now.

My journey started in April of last year (2007). I couldn't go on the way I was. I was eating out of control...potato chips, sweets, anything I could get my hands on. I was out of control. Dr. Robert Cole saved my life. My first visit with him totally put me at ease with my decision about the surgery. He was warm, caring, understood my frustrations. He held my hand and told me my life was going to change for the better.

Five months later I had my surgery. No complications. Everything went smoothly. Until November. The day before Thanksgiving I had an endoscopy done because I was having pain in my pouch that I couldn't get rid of. I couldn't eat...could only drink water and soup. I had the procedure 3 weeks after the pain started. It was an ulcer. I was put on medication that took a week before I started to feel better and able to eat a little more.

Well...the reason I couldn't eat a lot is because every time I did I would throw up some of what I ate. I didn't overeat...the food just wouldn't go through the way it's supposed to. Now I have to have the hole stretched so it will pass easier. That will happen on Jan 29th.

The best thing that's happened is that I have lost 101 lbs since my surgery. I know it's fast and because I haven't been able to eat properly. I hope and pray that this will all change after this procedure. Pray for me.