Jana Ochoa

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Well, in an effort to get back on track and focused, I am here at OH, working on my profile again!  I just transfered all of my original posts from the old profile layout, and reading them reminded me of what I am supposed to be doing.  I am up about 40 pounds, 6 of which have been gained in the past week (hopefully not all fat, as I had a fondue party....cheese and chocolate, and I'm hoping this is a bit of bloat!)  I have been doing all the wrong things; drinking with my meals, eating simple carbs, eating refined sugar, not doing my shakes, not excercising regularly.  Last year in January, I had a tummy tuck/muscle repair, and a breast lift.  That is when the weight gain started.  The muscle repair was incredibly painful, much more so than I anticipated.  I was out of commision for a good period of time, and started going back to my old habits.  I couldn't really excercise, and as a matter of fact, just day to day activities were so uncomfortable I became a bit depressed.  My old ways of coping with boredom and depression came back, and I ate my way through the rough spots.  Unfortunately, old habits die hard......and I'm not sure they ever die.  I now believe that they are just hiding, waiting for you to slip up so that they can get their grip on you again.  My weight has continued to steadily increase, leaving me anxious and very, very sad.  I never wanted to get back to this point.  I am now a size 16 on the bottom again, although I am still about a 12 on top.  Funny thing is when they do a tummy tuck, they remove fat cells along with the skin, so when you regain weight,  the fat goes to existing fat cells first.......so my butt and thighs just keep growing!  Even my 6 year old twins have noticed and make comments.  It is really disheartening.  I really hope that I can make use of my tool once again and get my act together.

I am two weeks, one day out. The surgery went terrific, and as a matter of fact, I came out without an NG tube or drains. I was up and walking as soon as I was awake, and kept it up through out the night. I was uncomfortable, but the only real pain I felt was the gas pains from the LAP procedure. I took very little pain medication, and the discomfort got better each and every day. I was released from the hospital on the third day, and although I was very, very tired, overall I felt pretty good. The first night home I felt very depressed....I think in part due to the fact that I had been on an anti-depressant prior to surgery that I had not began taking again, and partly because the reality of what I had just done started to sink in. My 3 yr. old twins, husband, and mother had ordered chinese food, and my kids really wanted me to join them for dinner, but I just couldn't stand to see them eat. I stayed in bed and cried. I wondered why in the world I decided to do this.....afterall, I could have been enjoying a nice chinese dinner with my family. By the next day, I came to my senses and remembered why I had the surgery, and the regrets were gone. That is until my first dumping experience a couple of days ago! I ate a matzo ball in chicken broth and was horribly ill for 26 hours. I felt like I was going to die!! My surgeon was very pleased that I experienced it, as it will be a very useful tool in keeping my eating in check, but I was bummed that it happened on a matzo ball of all things! A candy, or some other decadent treat I can understand, but the soup thing blew my mind. Now, I am just really tired again, as being sick for over a day just sapped my energy. NOW FOR THE GOOD PART: I am down 31.5 pounds!!!! YAY!!! I AM the incredible shrinking woman! I have to start getting protein in more regularly, though, because I am determined to keep my hair. I have spent a small fortune on protein supplement trial sizes, and honestly, they all gag me. Something to work on, I guess!

I'm hoping that now that my profile page is jazzed up, I will update more regularly. I am now almost 2 months out, and have lost just over 60 pounds so far. This past week I have been playing with the same 2-3 pounds....up one day, down the next, then back up. I'm still getting smaller, although the scale isn't showing it this week. I have also been having a "perpetual period", it seems to never end. I guess this is just a side effect of surgery and my hormone/body changes. I'm going to go see if I can be put on a different type of birth control since I don't think that the pill will be effective any longer. Lord knows that right now I CANNOT get pregnant, so my husband and I need to be very, very careful. I have finally found a protein powder that I can stomach. It is Unjury. My favorite way to have it is with a teaspoon of peanut butter and a 1/3 of a banana blended into the chocolate with carb countdown milk. I am still working on getting all of my water in, and remembering my vitamins twice per day. I feel a million times better when I eat well 3 times per day, get in 2-3 shakes, sleep at least 8-9 hours, get in my water, and vitamins. I can tell the difference when I don't do one or two of these things because I feel tired and moody. Now, my goal is to incorporate more excercise into my daily activity. I am walking, but so far have not gone to the gym. We are paying for a membership that I never use. This week I will be setting a goal to go to the gym at least twice, and walk the other days.

I have also discovered that no matter how well I chew meat, bite size makes a huge difference. I ended up vomiting because my bites were too large. Now, I remember to take small bites on top of chewing well and eating slow. I still hate all flavored drinks, and can't stand tap water's taste. We now have a filter on our faucet, and that makes the water much more palateable. My pouch only likes hot liquids or ice cold liquids. No room temp. drinks for me!

Today I feel pretty good about having had surgery. There have been days, though, that I wondered why I did this to myself. There are so many people who say they have never had a moment of regret, and that is great, but I can't say the same. Over-all, I think that this was a miracle for me, but I do sometimes long for the old ways of doing things. Especially eating a big salad, or veggies in general. I just want a meal of fruits and veggies! Sweets don't appeal to me on any level, thank God, but I sure do miss my big plates of salad and other veggies. I also would like to have a nice sandwich. I still fill up to fast if I eat bread products, so I really don't know if a sandwich will ever be in my life again. But, like I said, I still feel that this was the right decision for me, and I am thankful for it.

Well, I am pretty much feeling like my normal self again. My energy level is back to pre-surgical levels, I can pretty much eat anything (except sugar or really high fat) and not feel ill, and I can actually drink my liquids pretty quickly. I even look forward to my shakes, which is an amazing thing, if you ask me. My weight loss has slowed WAY down, I'm sure in part due to the fact that I am not setting time aside each day to truly excercise. Now, granted, I run after 3 yr. old twins all day, but that isn't really the kind of excercise I need right now. I guess I got so spoiled seeing the scale's number drop every day, that now I am kind of bummed that it isn't keeping up that kind of pace any longer. I am now down 65.5 pounds since surgery, and 75.5 total from my highest weight. That is amazing! I see changes in my body, but I am still stuck in the "unbelieving" mode of thought. I just find it hard to believe that I may end up not being MO anymore. It has become such a part of who I have always been that it is hard to think of myself as any different.

I made a huge eating mistake this past weekend. I went to a movie (which only happens about 2x per year) with my girlfriends, and I bought sugar free Jelly Bellies. I don't know why it happened, but it has set off my sweets cravings again. I haven't craved anything sweet since surgery, as a matter of fact, sweet tasting things totally turned me off. I just wanted a snack in the theatre....you know, the feel like a "normal" person thing. I have decided that I am staying away from those kinds of snacks from now on. It must have jolted some kind of mental reaction in me. I'm not pleased.

I am now 232.5 pounds....that is an 80.5 lb. loss. Hooray for me! Thankgiving went well, but I have to admit that the pumpkin pie made with splenda keeps calling to me. I eat out the custard and top it with cool whip free....yum. I will be glad when it is all gone!

I am now down approximately 84 pounds since surgery. Total loss, 94 pounds. I saw Dr. Molinelli the other day, and he said that unless I have any questions or problems, that I don't have to come back for any more follow up visits. I will probably see him every month, though, at the support group meetings. He said that my PCP will keep track of my labs and make sure that I am on the right track nutritionally. I will also still be seeing my nutritionist occasionally for nutritional advice, who also leads our support group meeting. She is really terrific.
I have been trying to get up, as often as possible, at 4 AM to workout. I actually like getting up that early and working out, but the initial reaction is "OMG, I'm so tired!" I am still looking forward to my shakes every day, which still shocks me! I went to see my therapist (who's specialty is eating disorders) and she thinks I am doing terrific emotionally. I have a lot of work yet to do, but I think my perceptions about food are really becoming more realistic. She was so shocked to see me so much thinner, she actually began to shake and her hair stood on end! That made me feel really good.

I am now down 103 pounds since surgery, 113 total from my highest weight. I now weigh 210. I can wear a size 14 in pants and a large top!! This is amazing to me. I look at clothes that are actually my size, and think that they look tiny! It is really wierd. I look taller, and my husband says that my neck looks wierd because it is so long. I was kind of offended, but then he corrected himself and said that it looks good, but that he never knew my neck was that long, so it is hard to get used to. My son, who is 3, was sitting on my lap this morning. He reached up and touched my collar bone and said "Mommy, how come this bone is so big?" He had never seen my collar bone before! I find it strange that my shoulder blades and shoulders feel so boney. My butt even feels boney! Not that this is a bad thing, of course!

The last few days I have been eating carbs, and it is kicking my butt. I have been eating crackers, and even had the crust off of pizza. I am tired, and have cravings. I know that the carbs are the culprit. I am getting caught in that vicious circle again, so my behind is going back to the protein in a big way. I hate the way I feel when I eat simple carbs. It also slows my weight loss down to a slow crawl. Although I have been indulging in carbs, I have also been going to the gym regularly. I haul my butt out of bed at 4 am during the week and workout for a little more than an hour. It makes me feel really good, and I miss it when I don't get to go (imagine that).

Well, my loss has slowed, by my own doing unfortunately. I have been indulging in sugar-free cookies nearly every day, which still have carbs and tend to set off more cravings. That couple hundred calories makes a difference in how quickly the pounds drop off, for sure. Plus, because I have been using that as my "sweet treat" for the day, I haven't been drinking as many protein shakes. Gotta change that! I am now down to 203, so I only have just over 3 pounds to go until I have broken that ever-powerful barrier of 200 pounds!

Well, it has been awhile since I updated. I am now down to around 182, with a couple pound fluctuation depending on whether I am well hydrated or not. That is a total loss of 141 pounds; 131 pounds since surgery. I am thrilled with my results. I am still losing a bit of hair, but it has slowed considerably now, so I am not too worried anymore. I am in a size 12, and if only I didn't have some excess skin to deal with, would probably fit a size 10 very nicely. I am a bit disturbed by my skin's texture at this point on my abdomen and on my thighs.....it isn't as "bad" as some I have seen, but it definitely is not a pretty sight. I had two twin pregnancies back to back at 270 pounds, then gained up to 323, so I guess I shouldn't expect a miracle...but the thigh area is a bit unexpected. Also unexpected is my "turkey neck" waddle. I have a bit of skin on my neck that I just never imagined would be there. Everyone lies and says it isn't noticable (they are so very full of crap!) but it is totally noticable to me. I am, however, still thrilled with the results, feel fantastic, and am starting to see myself in a new light...slowly but surely. I am a little overwhelmed by the choices in clothing at this size, but it is a good thing. As a size 24, I knew what department to shop in, and my choices were limited so it made it very easy to decide what to buy. Find the cutest thing in the 10 choices, and get it. Now there are 100 cute things spread out all over the store, and it is almost nerve wracking to try and decide on just one thing. Poor me ;)

Two days ago I celebrated my one year anniversary! I am now remaining pretty steady at 175 pounds, a size 10-12. I am thrilled with my results, and feel wonderful! I was featured a few months ago in the Greenwich Times newspaper in an article dealing with how weight loss surgery impacts your life beyond weight loss itself. That was kind of exciting, and it was the first time I saw myself in a photo, full-length, and realized that I am no longer obese! It was a little sureal. I will update more later.......