Jan B.
I am a 53 year old daughter, sister, wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother. It really is funny to find myself in this position - when I was a child, I was a very picky eater and in fact, did not gain weight as fast as the pediatrician thought I should. He had my mother give me a "tonic" to spur my appetite - it was called Gevrabon and it came in a great big brown glass bottle. It had a metallic medicinal smell that hit you whenever you opened the refrigerator door. I liken the smell now to the dreaded protein - LOL!
I have just gradually put on pounds thru the years. I gained some, of course, with childbirth. I am not a stress eater, or anything like that (to my knowledge) - I just like food!! All of our vacations are planned around going to our favorite restaurants and our weekends are planned around when and where we're going to eat.
The extra weight has been inconvenient and unsightly for a while, and in April 2009, I underwent the work-up for RNY. I got down to within a week before surgery and got scared and backed out. But within the last 6 months, especially, the extra weight has become more than inconvenient - it has become life-altering. I find myself doing more couch-sitting, watching TV. I have been sleeping a lot of weekends away - lack of energy or depression - take your pick. My husband and I have always enjoyed being busy with some kind of project around the house or yard, but I can't hold out to work much more than 45 minutes to an hour without my back killing me. We enjoy camping and hiking, but what's the use in dragging a camper out, when all I will do when we get there is sit, sit, sit. We enjoyed geocaching, but that requires hiking, too, so that went by the wayside. We've always wanted to travel, but you can't do a lot of sightseeing sitting in the hotel room. The weight has forced changes in my life that I would not have wanted to make - but I allowed it to happen. I find myself sitting on the sidelines of my own life, wishing things were different.
Well, things are not going to be different without a diffrerent approach. What's that saying - you'll get the same thing you've always gotten, if you do the same thing you've always done.
So now I am back to try once again to have RNY. I am more determined this time, because my life is much worse, and I can only foresee it getting more and more limited at an exponential rate. My husband is very supportive and willing to do whatever he can to help me change my downward spiral. My friends will support me (even tho some of them are not happy to see me make permanent surgical changes in my body). My son and his wife and my grandchildren are behind me, and my daughter-in-love will be invaluable help, as she is a 3 year post-op RNY, maintaining a 100 pound weight loss. My sister will support me too, and my parents will worry about me, and wish there was another way - but they love me and want what's best for me.
That's pretty much my story - not too diffrerent from most people, I guess. I really hope and pray with all that is within me that I have the nerve to go thru with the surgery this time around. It's time to stand up and be strong - to recognize that my life is changing very quickly - and I am the only one who can decide whether those changes will be for the good or for the bad.
I covet the prayers and support of anyone willing to offer them up for me!! -- Thanks -- Jan
